Fucking A Guy Anal
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Fucking A Guy Anal
by Jordyn Taylor Published: Apr 17, 2019
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Whether you're a beginner or seasoned butt enthusiast, you're going to want to read this.
So you're into butt stuff. Well, reader, you're not alone.
Maybe you're among the 43% of men who've been on the giving end of anal sex at some point in their lives, or maybe you're down to receive it ( pegging, anyone? ). Maybe you've always wanted to go in through the back door, but haven't had the chance to cross it off your sexual bucket list yet.
No matter your experience level, you might be in search of tips to make your next anal sex experience the best it can be—and who better to guide you than Dr. Zhana Vrangalova , LELO sexpert and NYU professor of human sexuality? With her help, we assembled a guide to anal sex for beginner and advanced practitioners, from the hottest positions to the best toys to add an extra boost of pleasure.
Here's how to have mind-blowing anal sex, whether it's your first or five-hundredth time.
Before you even think about approaching the back door, you need to have "the talk" with your partner. Find out if you're both on the same page about experimenting with butt stuff—and if it turns out they're not into it, do not pressure them .
You're both down to try it? Great! Now, hold your horses: The key to first-time anal sex is going slow, Vrangalova says. (That, and using a lot of lube . The anus isn't going to lubricate itself, people! )
Consider starting with some rimming , or simply pressing on the anal area. Then go in with a finger or a very small butt plug, followed by two fingers or a larger toy. Then, if the receiving partner is comfortable, you can enter with your penis.
It's hard to predict how long it'll take to get there. "There's so much individual variability in terms of how tight people are," Vrangalova says. "I've known people who've never had anything up their asses and on the first time things go up right away."
Other people's anuses may be slower to open up—in which case, you may want to adjust your penetration technique.
"People often think they need to make these small in and out movements...[but] often that doesn’t feel good to the person being penetrated," she says. "What they would instead want is to have the penis or strap-on enter a little bit and then just stay there for 10, 20, 30 seconds until the sphincter can get used to that and relax, and then push it a little more and stay."
The biggest takeaway here? Talk to your partner the whole way through about what feels good.
"It's super important to have a constant communication line open between the two people, and go with the speed that the person being penetrated [is comfortable with]," she says.
There are lots of great positions for anal sex beginners. Receiving partners often find it easiest to be on their back, on their stomach, or on all fours.
"For some people, being on top gives them more control," Vrangalova adds. "Physicaly, it might be a little more difficult to relax, but psychologically, it gives them more of a sense of control."
Well...that's too bad. "Shit happens, literally, when you play with anal," Vrangalova says. "People need to be prepared that there might be some."
That being said, as long as your partner has gone number two recently—and they're not in the midst of like, a violent diarrhea spell—you probably don't need to worry about a sudden poop explosion (or "poop-pocalypse," as Vrangalova calls it). "If you know you went to bathroom that morning, and it feels like you don't need to go, it shouldn't be a problem," she says.
If a little poop make an appearance, don't be a dick about it. Your partner might be embarrassed, so let them know it's no big deal. "Try to deal with that in as kind and compassionate way as possible," she says. "Don't say, 'Oh my god, this is gross.' Have paper towels nearby that you can use."
So you've mastered the basics of anal sex, and now you're looking to take your skills to the next level. (Remember: Get consent from your partner every time you do anal—or any sex act, for that matter. Just because they were cool with it once, they're not necessarily in the mood for it tonight.) If you're both down to ramp up your anal game, read on.
If you have always have anal with the receiving partner on their hands and knees, try switching it up. As Men's Health previously reported, one easy option is a position known as The Matterhorn , which involves the receiving partner kneeling and leaning on a stack of pillows or piece of furniture at a 45-degree angle.
"There's a whole world of possibilities out there when it comes to toys," Vrangalova says.
Here's something relatively easy to try: If the receiving partner has a vagina, they can try using a vibrator on their clitoris to make the anal sex experience even more pleasurable. (Clitoral stimulation may also help them relax—not to mention achieve an incredible orgasm.)
Here's something a little more advanced: double penetration. "Whether you have two toys for vaginal and anal [penetration], or you have a penis and a toy in either hole, it's a great way to play around," Vrangalova says.
For the super-duper advanced, there's even the possibility of double anal penetration—i.e., a penis and a toy in the anus at the same time. You can work up to it by using bigger and bigger toys, or a fist . "If you can fit a fist in there, you can prob fit an average-sized penis and an average-sized toy in the anus, more or less."
Here are some LELO toys Vrangalova recommends:
"It's good for manual manipulation," Vrangalova says. Use your hand to insert it and hold it in there, or move it in and out—whatever feels good.
If the receiving partner has a vagina, they can wear it during anal penetration. "It's easy to fit it into pretty much any position," she says.
You could "have the wand on clit and then either a penis or another toy anally," Vrangalova recommends.
Jordyn Taylor is the Executive Digital Editor at Men's Health. She is the co-author of 'Best. Sex. Ever.: 200 Frank, Funny & Friendly Answers About Getting It On,' and an adjunct professor at New York University's Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. She's covered sex, relationships, health, wellness, and LGBTQ+ issues since 2013, and has previously worked as a reporter and editor at Mic and the New York Observer.
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Straight Guys Reveal What It's Like To Experiment With Anal Play
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Any guy who has ever tried some anal play sexually knows that it doesn’t always come naturally. Of course, I could get into how usually things come out of there instead of go in and therefore it always feels pretty weird at first, but instead I’ll keep in scientific because I still have standards when it comes to writing — even if it is about ass play.
Anal, for men, is as close to a clitoral orgasm as we’ll ever get. Located inside the anus, the prostrate is essentially a male G-spot . When hit properly, whether it be with a finger or whatever else you’re using, it can send you over the edge and make you orgasm harder than you ever have before. It is for this reason that so many guys, despite which gender they’re into, tend to explore their butt over time. However, for some straight men there is a lot of shame, guilt, and confusion around admitting you enjoy anal. To these men, to enjoy butt stuff is to admit that they enjoy something predominately revered in the gay community.
Heck, all it takes it looking at how Kanye West reacted to Amber Rose's iconic hashtag #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch to understand how much of a stigma there is when it comes to straight men admitting they enjoy their butts played with. For these men, it is this antiquated idea that to be on the insertion end of anything sexual would detract from their masculinity. And while it may seem insane, it does make sense. In our heteronormative culture we’re used to imagining a man penetrating a woman, and anything outside of that is considered “other.”
However, in an effort to beat back this stigma, I asked 12 of the most sexually open men I know about the first time they played with their butts:
“I remember seeing it in porn and wanting to try it. I think I didn’t realize just HOW much lube you would need so it was super painful the first time. I think I tried to use the handle end of a plunger!” - Bradley, 29
“I was with my ex at the time and she was blowing me, she slowly worked a finger in there and I was so in the moment I didn’t really realize it was happening. I’ve never cum harder in my entire life.” - Oliver, 24
“I remember trying it for the first time when I was 20. I was totally grossed out by the idea of putting a finger in there so I started with other items such as a highlighter and such. Have you ever tried to stick a highlighter up your ass? Don’t. As I got more comfortable with it I switched to fingers and it was allllll great.” - Mitchell, 25
“I went for the gold! The girl I was seeing at the time had a strap-on and we tried it out. By far some of the best sex of my life.” - Joshua, 28
“I’ve had a girl ask if she could rim me in college. At first the idea really grossed me out….but then she did it and worked a few fingers in there and I came without even touching myself.” - Matthew, 23
“I think the first time I tried something with my butt is when I was a young kid. I would jerk off and put fingers up there and it felt incredible. I admitted it to a bunch of my buddies years later and he seemed so disgusted…in my opinion, though, you can’t knock it until you try it.” - Aaron, 30
“I mean, I tried it because the same ole same ole was getting boring. If there is anything I’ve learned about putting things up my butt is that it can feel amazing sleeping with a girl….but it’s almost (but not) as good as cumming when you’re fingering yourself.” - Mike, 24
“Men… please play with your butt. You will thank me when you hit the wall behind you from coming so hard. I remember the first time I did it I was shocked at how intense the orgasm was.” - Alex, 25
“I had a girlfriend for a while who would want to use her double ended dildo with me when she was feeling wild. It was so hot, and sure, it is a little uncomfortable at first…but ultimately it feels like heaven.” - Travis, 29
“I definitely didn’t do enough research on it before hand. I kept having to stop because I thought I was going to shit on myself at least 5 times.” - Liam, 27
"The first time I ever did anything butt-wise, I was 25 and had watched some gay porn just to see what the hype was about. They seemed so into it, so I went out and bought a vibrator and a bunch of lube. I don’t think I left my house that weekend it felt too good to stop.” - Jeffrey, 29
How to Prepare for Anal Sex, According to Actual Doctors
Let’s talk about butt sex, shall we?
1. Decide what kind of anal play you’re interested in.
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3. Make sure your toys are safe for anal.
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5. Be aware of how your poop might impact anal sex.
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7. Try some anal masturbation first.
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10. Try beginner-friendly positions.
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12. Clean up if you need to, but don’t worry about pooping.
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At SELF, Lindsey has specialized in culture, love, and sex, but also written about health, food, fitness, and beauty. Prior to SELF, Lindsey wrote about fashion and entertainment for NYLON and Mashable .
Anna Borges is a writer and a former senior health editor at SELF. She's the author of the book The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care and can be found writing around the internet about mental, emotional, and sexual health. (Most importantly, she's also a Virgo sun, Aquarius moon,... Read more
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Whether you’re new to anal play or a total expert, knowing how to prepare for anal sex is the key to a pleasurable time. Okay, not just pleasurable. Preparation is just as important for safety as it is for comfort. Don’t worry, though—as long as you take the proper precautions and time to prepare, anal sex is generally safe. And luckily for you, that preparation is exactly what we’re covering in this article. So let’s get on with it!
Below, learn how to prepare for anal sex, as well as everything else you need to know about making anal sex safe, comfortable, and enjoyable, from prep to cleanup.
This is where the real preparation happens. Consider this everything you need to do before heading to the bedroom (or wherever you’re getting your anal play on).
Because spoiler alert: You have options! Sure, anal sex typically refers to penetrative sex—meaning, something going into your anus—and penetrative sex typically requires the most preparation. But anal is a wide umbrella, and knowing ahead of time what you’re interested in can help you prep however you need to. So the types of anal sex to be aware of include:
Penis in anus: Pretty self-explanatory—P-in-A sex is what many people think of first when you talk about anal sex.
Toy in anus: You have a lot of variety when it comes to anal sex toys . There are anal dildos that can be used for penetration much like a penis, sure, but your options don’t end there. There are also plugs, which are smaller and designed to be left in place. With anal beads, the pleasure is in the removal as much as the insertion. Prostate toys are uniquely shaped devices designed to massage the prostate—kind of like the anal toy equivalent of a G-spot vibrator or dildo.
Digital penetration: Exploring anal play with your fingers is excellent, especially for beginners who might be worried about size. Also, it’s also worth noting that if you’re going to explore penetration with a penis or a toy, a little bit of digital penetration will likely be involved as you “work up” to it. So you should always make sure your hand hygiene and nails are on point—and by that I mean clean, filed smooth with no rough edges, and fairly short (unless you really know what you’re doing).
Oral: Also known as anilingus...or rimming, tossing salad, or your other favorite oral-anal euphemism. If you’re not already a fan, oral sex on the same place poop comes out might make you squeamish, but you have nothing to worry about. If the receiver has had normal, regular bowel movements, anilingus is generally hygienic. But more on the poop of it all later.
Listen, we recommend lube in most sexual experiences anyway, but using lube is an absolute must during penetrative anal play, Joseph Frankhouse , M.D., medical director of colorectal surgery at Legacy Health in Oregon, tells SELF. That’s because while the vagina produces natural lubrication, the anus doesn’t. Anal penetration without adequate lubrication can cause the tissue in your anus to tear.
Not only is that painful, it also makes you more susceptible to sexually transmitted infections , like gonorrhea and HIV , board-certified ob-gyn Jacques Moritz, M.D., tells SELF. That’s because these tears create openings in the skin, potentially allowing infection-causing pathogens to enter.
When it comes to lube, you pretty much have three options: oil-based, silicone-based, and water-based. Oil- and silicone-based lubes are thicker and longer lasting, making them great for anal play. But oil-based lubes (like coconut oil) can break down condoms and render them less effective, so if you’re using a condom, steer clear of that kind of lube.
If you’re bringing silicone anal toys into the mix, you’ll want to avoid silicone-based lubes, since this kind of lube erodes silicone toys. But don’t worry—if you want to use silicone-based lube and toys, there are other toy materials out there that work just fine, such as glass or metal.
With all that in mind, if you’re engaging in anal play, using condoms, or using silicone toys, you’ll typically want to stick with water-based lube. Water-based lube is perfectly serviceable too—you might just find yourself having to reapply more often.
Repeat after me: Not all toys are anal-safe! When it comes to toys for anal play, the most important rule is to make sure it has a flared base so it doesn’t get lost inside you. Because yes, you can get a toy stuck in your butt and it’s a
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