Frolic Me
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Frolic Me
February 1, 2020, 1:40 AM · 4 min read
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Let’s get one thing straight: Women love porn. Sorry, grandma—but it’s true. Women watch it, listen to it, and crave a lot of it. And to deny and say that we don’t get turned on by visual or audible adult content is far from the truth.
According to a 2015 Marie Claire study that was conducted by contributing editor Amanda de Cadenet, one in three women watches porn. And according to Pornhub’s 2017 survey , the number-one search term for their entire site was “porn for women.” While there’s truth in numbers, the majority of the porn industry has been designed for the male gaze. This can make it hard for women to find content they deem, well, pleasurable.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that the adult industry isn’t changing. Women across the country have been launching adult websites with content made with and for a woman’s point of view. For instance, Bellesa.co, hires women directors and writers to produce their content. And Dipsea provides feminist audible stories that ensure their female characters feel empowered and celebrated in their own skin.
But even though the industry is heading in the right direction, it can be hard to find women-led adult websites when you’re in the mood. So we thought we’d put all our favorites in one place, so you can just file this article away for…a rainy day.
Ericka Lust, who is known as an erotic indie filmmaker, started a project in 2013, where people could share their sexual fantasies. Eventually, this project morphed into XConfessions , an adult website that delivers weekly porn shorts that are based on real confessions by real people. According to the website, they never use the same story and setting twice, and they tell stories about what sex and desires really feel like. Although you do need to pay for the service, you gain access to their films, interviews, and confessions when you become a member. It’s worth it if you ask us.
Instead of searching the web for porn that matched her needs, Anna Richards decided to take things into her own hands by creating Frolic Me . Her content, which she produces and creates herself, “play[s] on erotic passion and desire” and is uploaded on a weekly basis to her site. While you do need a membership to view the content, you can either pay for a weekly subscription for $6.60 or a yearly subscription for $52.80.
Pink Label TV is a queer-owned hub for all your sexual desires. Director Shine Louise Houston created PinkLabel.tv in 2013 to provide a space for up-and-coming adult indie filmmakers to upload their films. According to the website , Houston’s intention is to “use her company’s established platform to support new producers by offering resources that help their films find a global audience, enable studios access to sexual health resources and ethical production practices, and further their filmmaking craft and career.” Plus, the content is made for a vast audience, such as people who are older and/or with disabilities. They charge a membership fee that starts at $25.
Bellesa is a free adult website that is made by women for women. They capture real, unscripted sex and never include fake orgasms in their videos. Plus, they ensure that the performers they’re working with are protected and safe, which can be very hard to come by in this industry. Basically, everything you see via their content is real, true, and in favor of the woman performer.
Ever since the dawn of the Internet, video has been the go-to medium for erotic content for most people. But more recently, companies like Dipsea have emerged from the video clutter to change up the industry standard by providing sensual and erotic audio stories—and it’s something to look into. Not only is all their content feminist-focused, but they also refrain from incorporating shame or judgmental tactics into their overall ethos, which is always good to hear.
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Paisley Gilmour
Sex & Relationships Editor
Paisley is sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK, and covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ.
Megan Wallace
Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance.
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Be more responsible in your adult film choices.
Female friendly porn, porn for women and ethical porn are search terms that are becoming more and more popular. Whether you like adult films and watch them or not, porn is often where people learn about sex for the first time. Sure, that's not ideal and yep, we've got our poor sex education in this country to blame for that. But, this might not necessarily be such a bad thing if there was more porn for women out there: that is, more porn designed to centre female pleasure rather than cater for the male gaze. It seems like a lot of mainstream adult films are hellbent on objectifying women and fetishising LGBTQIA+ people. Porn in the UK even used to be surrounded by bunch of bullshit laws steeped in misogyny: male ejaculation has always been permitted but female ejaculation in porn was illegal (yes, ILLEGAL) between 2014 and 2019.
If you love watching porn, you're likely to have visited the huge tube sites that dominate the erotic realms of the internet. And sorry to kill your boner, but those sites are kind of evil. As well as categorising videos in the most offensive ways - we're talking racial and trans fetishisation here - in the past, they've also been notorious for pirating content without the actor/director's permission. This, admittedly, has been something the company has taken steps to tackle: in 2020 removing 1o million unverified videos . Plus, the way most male-directed lesbian porn fetishises queer women is just beyond explanation.
Here's where you can find legit, feminist, genre-bending porn that won't make you cry with guilt after orgasming. And yes, sorry, but if you want to watch ethical adult films: you should be paying for them.
XConfessions is the home of indie erotic filmmaker Erika Lusts ' masterpieces, as well as other films she commissions from a diverse range of directors. Every week, the site releases a new short film, and it's porn like no other, seriously. It looks beautiful, features actors of all ethnicities, sexualities and gender identities, and is based on real life sex and fantasy confessions people write in with. There's also a library of over 150 films you can watch as many times as you want if you're a member.
It's feminist, radical and claims to be ethical in terms of production, with Erika promising to:
- Create a safe sex environment for filming with every performer providing up to date STD checks (and performers choose whether they wish to use a condom)
- Discuss and agree every part of the shoot beforehand with all performers, and never ask a performer to do something they have not agreed to or expect
- Pay every director or studio featured on the site commission from the sale of their films
Erika Lust also donates every month to charities that support sex workers and the LGBTQ+ community.
Sign up for an XConfessions membership here. Monthly memberships start at around £27, but there are also six-month and annual membership deals.
Frolic Me is a super nice, non-intimidating adult site that features content from Anna Richards, the founder.
She says, "This is my own content, product, vision and style. I boldly like to think of it as the sexiest online dedicated erotic site designed for women and couples. I wanted to bring the written word and the visual image together and create bold and exciting sexual imagery and creativity within an elegant, feminine style, as well as an interesting online erotic magazine with interesting features on all aspects of erotica with an array of submissions."
Sign up for a Frolic Me membership here. Frolic Me has various membership options, including a deal on an annual membership for a one time payment of £59.95. You can also sign up for a monthly membership, or a week's trial from £4.95.
Not all porn has to be visual, and audio porn is revolutionising the way we get turned on. Plus, it's a super inclusive way of making sexy content more accessible. Sex blogger and published author Girl on the Net ( her blogs are basically porn anyway) has started an incredible library of audio porn you can listen to on her site for free.
However, if you want more, which FYI you totally will, you can support her awesome work on Patreon , which will mean you'll have early access to new audio porn posts, free things and the chance to request your favourite stories as new audio porn updates.
Bellesa is a porn production company which aims to make hot porn aimed at women which treats workers fairly. They also make sex toys (including a wand vibrator spearheaded by Demi Lovato ).
They say; "At Bellesa, we believe that sexuality on the internet should depict women as we truly are - as subjects of pleasure, not objects of conquest. We also believe that sex should be fun, empowering, and 100% shame-free. We are all deserving of pleasure. If you enjoy the free and ethically sourced porn videos, erotica and sex ed here- you’ll really love Bellesa Plus - the Netflix of Porn."
Sign up for Bellesa Plus here , which costs around £19 for a monthly subscription. This package includes access to the brand's "Bellesa House" series, where porn performers tell the camera who they want to have sex with and why, cue: real, raw, unscripted good sex.
PinkLabel.tv is a streaming platform for indie adult cinema by porn filmmakers with feminist, queer and ethical perspectives.
It's headed up by queer adult filmmaker Shine Louise Houston, who is behind the legendary CrashPadSeries: a cult hit queer porn classic (IYKYK).
Sign up for PinkLabel Plus here for around £8 per month. This includes unlimited access to a curated collection of adult films with 20 new titles added a month. Think of it as the Mubi of porn...
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