Friend Massage
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Friend Massage
DEAR DEIDRE My boyfriend is sexting another woman while I'm eight months pregnant
COUSIN CRAVING I'm trapped with a hysterical partner while I'm falling for her cousin
FAT SHAMER My partner says if I don't slim, he'll leave - but I think it’s OK to be big
SEX BOMB My sex drive has gone through the roof, but my boyfriend just can't keep up
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
Got a problem? Write to Deidre here .
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre or write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF
I ASKED a close friend of my husband to massage my sore muscles and it led to amazing sex. It was the last thing I intended.
I am 31 and married to a good man, but he has been a bit distant lately and there has been almost no sex.
He is 31 as well and we have been married for seven years.
This friend of my husband did some training as a masseur, although he moved on to become a personal trainer. He is 29 and has no partner at the moment, so we invite him round for a meal sometimes.
On this particular evening my husband had a call from work about an emergency and knew he would have to go out later.
But we didn’t like to put this friend off so we decided he should come anyway.
We ate our meal together then my husband went off to his meeting about an hour’s drive away.
The friend and I were chatting and I told him I had a problem with my leg. The physiotherapist had prescribed me some special exercises but despite doing these, my leg was still hurting.
He suggested massaging it for me, so we opened out the sofa bed and I lay down with my legs bare.
It felt really good and I was the most relaxed I have felt for ages.
He said my whole body seemed tense and gradually moved his hands upwards. I think I actually let out a moan of contentment and this might have encouraged him.
The massage became more and more intense and he said it would feel better without my clothes on. So I took them off.
The result was that we had the most incredible sex — like I’ve not had in years.
I had no intention of cheating but strangely I don’t feel guilty at all. I just don’t know where I go from here.
DEIDRE SAYS: Where you go from here depends on the state of your marriage.
If you love the husband you say is a good man, you would be wise to tell this guy what happened was out of order and will not happen again.
Then make sure you stick to your resolve by avoiding being alone with him any time your husband invites him round. Meanwhile, put some effort into your marriage.
Not having good sex can easily become a habit. Talk to your husband.
Tell him you miss the physical closeness you two used to have and suggest trying the ideas in my e-leaflet Saving Your Sex Life.
Give your relationship a general overhaul too.
Are you spending enough enjoyable time together? Are you sharing the day-to-day running of your home and your lives generally, or has it all become so separate that you rarely do anything as a couple?
I OFTEN hear from people worried the way they have sex isn’t normal.
Nothing is wrong as long as both people enjoy it – but one person’s fancy can repel the other.
My e-leaflet Kinky Sex Worries? can help you find a compromise.
I HAVE a carefree life with no relationship ties but parents and friends keep asking why I have not settled down and “grown up”.
I am 35. I have always been comfortable living a bachelor life. I have had sex with numerous women – that’s not difficult because I travel a lot in my work and I get on well with people.
I have a great job, a nice house and earn good money. In spite of this, my parents constantly question me.
The last thing I want is to come home to a regular partner and be part of her family. Neither do I want children. I have two nieces I am very fond of but generally children infuriate me.
If a girlfriend tries to get too close, I back off.
DEIDRE SAYS: Most parents want to see their children settled, especially when friends keep asking.
If you are content with your life, explain this to your parents clearly.
My e-leaflet Standing Up For Yourself will help you be assertive.
But if, deep down, you know that anxiety about getting “too close” is a problem, explore this with a counsellor. For details of reputable ones, see itsgoodtotalk.org.uk .
BECOME A FORCES PENPAL: My service has helped cheer up our lads for years – especially those serving overseas. Find out how to join in here .
MY husband had an affair that resulted in a little boy, who is now aged four.
I was devastated at the time but took him back when he agreed to have nothing to do with the child.
It has since worked out differently. He wanted to see if his son looked like him or our two children, who are nine and 11.
As a result, he now sees him regularly and is allowed to take him out.
He also gives the mother money for him and spends a fortune on presents.
I resent the child so much, I cannot even bring myself to say his name.
I feel he puts that boy first, ahead of our kids. I am now 36 and my husband is 37.
DEIDRE SAYS: I understand your hurt about your husband’s affair but this boy is innocent and needs a loving dad.
Tell your husband you need help now from a Relate couples counsellor if your marriage is to survive his cheating ( relate.org.uk , 0300 100 1234).
Try then to welcome this little boy into your home.
Your children may be very happy to get to know their little half-brother.
MY dad and his girlfriend are setting up home together. I am all right with that except her daughter, who is 19, has told my best friend she really, really likes me.
I am a guy of 20 and a bit puzzled about what to do and how things will work out.
This daughter and I get on really well and normally I would be interested, but it wouldn’t surprise me if her mum and my dad got married.
I know this would not make her and me blood relatives but it does feel a bit weird.
Her mum has said that she is OK with it but it still does feel a bit weird.
DEIDRE SAYS: There is no legal bar to your having a relationship with this girl but if you are not feeling the way you think she does, be careful not to give her wrong messages.
You all have to try to get along together and the last thing you need is more emotional complications.
I THOUGHT I would still be able to have regular sex even though I’m pregnant but my husband won’t come near me.
We’re both 33, with our first baby due in four months.
I started to show quickly and as soon as my husband could see my baby bump, our sex life vanished.
I asked him if he still fancies me and he said: “I’ve got to admit it, being pregnant isn’t a good look for you.”
I was gutted. I know I’ve piled on the pounds but I thought he’d like my curves.
I worry that if I don’t get my body back after having a baby, he may never want sex with me again.
DEIDRE SAYS: Tell him his words upset you and you can’t help your weight – it’s part of being pregnant.
Tell him you miss the intimacy and sex won’t harm the baby.
My e-leaflet on Couples Massage explains how you can enjoy intimacy without intercourse and get him used to your curvier shape.
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I felt safe and free to express my self, in the sacred space that Yogita offered me during this journey. She was like a sister to me, took me by the hand to the depth of my intimacy. She is loving and devotional, so it would not be difficult to surrender once you'll be there, naked in front an angel of God!
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The Women in Love Workshop with Yogita helped me open towards my fellow sisters in the group and everywhere I go. It taught me how to surrender more, think less, be more of a woman and less of a man. I now live with a deep knowing that everything is possible.
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My yoni massage (genital massage for women) is equal parts intuitive and down-to-earth, healing and deeply pleasuring, therapeutic and practical (from a sexological standpoint), tantric and magical…. I don’t distinguish between “types” of yoni massage as some practitioners do, because women – being extraordinary and complex in their sexuality – usually have intertwined issues intimately connecting healing and pleasure for them. In my approach, when intention flows properly and with sacred alignment, needs are met perfectly. Each massage is different for each woman and for the same woman on different days. The massage is guided by the stated wishes of the woman herself, and from there it is offered by consecration, within an approach of intuitive professionalism, and becomes a gift from the Divine to the divine – the woman receiving as the embodiment of Shakti. I simply facilitate this gorgeous feminine blossoming in taking place!
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/laura-france-2/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/samantha-uk-london/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/laura-france/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/ricarda-germany/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/gauri-carrie-algar-uk/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/katrin-silman-estonia-tallinn/
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https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/m-p-australia/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/jessica-frey-usa/
I felt safe and free to express my self, in the sacred space that Yogita offered me during this journey. She was like a sister to me, took me by the hand to the depth of my intimacy. She is loving and devotional, so it would not be difficult to surrender once you'll be there, naked in front an angel of God!
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/laura-lancia-italy/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/william-margita-usa/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/graeme-ukaustralia/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/erez-zamir-israel/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/anonymous/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/lucinda-light-australia/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/laura-france-2/
The Women in Love Workshop with Yogita helped me open towards my fellow sisters in the group and everywhere I go. It taught me how to surrender more, think less, be more of a woman and less of a man. I now live with a deep knowing that everything is possible.
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/m-netherlands/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/elena-a-russia/
https://yogitantra.com/testimonials/celien-dakini-belgium/
< select one > Tantra Workshop Receiving Tantra Massage (women) Receiving Tantra Massage (men) Learning Tantra Massage (couples, singles) Workshops and/or Retreats Yoga Classes Consultation/Life coaching Bhajans Rituals and Initiations
Tantra Massage is many things! It is a life-changing experience, a sublime gift to yourself or your lover, a very personal and profound therapy, and … a massage as well!
Let’s demystify it a bit – just a bit! It should remain a little mysterious for you too, because every person experiences a completely unique journey into themselves….
In Tantra Massage, your genitals will probably be touched (with your permission). But this is not just a genital massage! Nor is it a full-body erotic massage with a “happy ending.” (Although most people feel very happy at the end!) This is a private session in which you are taken on a journey to your most inner intimate self. The entire session is held in a sacred, safe space in which you feel relaxed, comfortable, and free to express yourself.
I will introduce the session and prepare our time with a guided meditation. You will be asked to set your intentions and declare your purpose for the session as part of its ceremonial beginnings – a powerful phase during which you are freeing and clearing yourself of negative interference and aligning yourself with the creative process at hand.
When we start the bodywork, I ask you to stay fully present and communicate with me about anything which comes up for you during your session. I’ll touch base with you frequently, asking how you feel and guiding you through the process. Women will receive a “map” for their yoni (vagina), releasing pain if any exists and learning to increase the pleasure at the different orgasmic points inside the yoni . Men learn to increase their pleasure without ejaculating and, therefore, to increase their virility and become better lovers. Both women and men practice receiving a loving touch without giving anything back in return and thus turning more deeply inward. This is a great opportunity for you to let go of control, to trust and surrender fully.
I work with intuition and universal energies, so there is no routine for the massage. Each time you come, it will be different. Each person receives exactly what he or she needs to receive most in that moment.
At the end of the bodywork, I leave you peacefully without touch for a few minutes, so you can be present to the sensations in your body as a result of the massage, to enjoy them and relax. Then we will conclude with another short meditation before you dress to leave. We conclude together with some sharing and a hug. Namaste!
Thank you again for this wonderful experience. You made it meaningful, joyful, and beautiful. It felt just right.
It is so good to connect with the power of the yoni, to share it, and to see that there are such amazing open-minded, caring, and inspiring people in this world allowing this to happen.
" I can honestly say I can still feel the powerful effects of the ecstasy that I experienced when I was finally able to surrender fully…. Yogita revealed that Shakti bliss exists within me! "
" Thank you again for this wonderful experience. You made it meaningful, joyful, and beautiful. It felt just right "
" Yogita [is] an amazingly gifted woman, full of joy, energy, enthusiasm."
Yogita is such a special teacher. She has a beautiful way of helping others to open. … I love how she has the perfect balance of being direct and strong in her teaching and guidance while being loving, affectionate, and open.
I have never had such a profound and deeply releasing experience. This is pure magic.
It was truly a beautiful, life-changing experience. I discovered my body like I never had before, and got in touch with my sacred femininity…. I am overflowing with gratitude for this experience.
Aida Diop, Belgium/Senegal (a virgin at the time)
Aida Diop, Belgium/Senegal (a virgin at the time)
[This massage] was more effective than any other healing I have tried…. The effect this has had on my love life and the confidence [it] has given me are really the best gifts I could have asked for. Things have really opened up for me now and I’ve been experiencing new sensations each time I make love. I feel so empowered.
I experienced … the surreal pleasure of my first-ever G-spot orgasm. I can’t find words to describe this experience. Yoni massage has opened my eyes and my body to a new level of being and I will forever be changed by the experience.
I love you, Yogita! I have never met anyone so powerful, balanced, and pure. I don't really know your path. However, I can imagine how much work it has taken to become the amazing woman you are and it’s so inspiring!
You have taught me to open my heart again and tap into the fountain of Love.... Because of this my life is forever changed.... Please continue this work that you do with women – you have a divine gift....
Yogita can move energy! Once I let go and let [her] have my body, everything from emotions to energy started to move and open up in ways that are unexplainable.
[Yogita] is the ultimate giver. Selfless, yet d
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