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While it’s true that sex can absolutely get better with age , we never entirely outgrow those deeply awkward, uncomfortable and bumbling moments in intimacy just because we’ve gained a bit more experience. Add the complications of keeping your sex life exciting, healthy and fun as you grow together, start a family and deal with increasingly busy schedules and there’s plenty of room for more and more cringe to come beyond the awkward firsts.
Digging into the most prolific bastion of cringe and discomfort, Reddit, we found a few deeply uncomfortable sex stories that show just how persistent cringe-y, awkward sex moments can be throughout your lives.
“One time the wife and I are getting it on first thing in the morning. We are under the covers, and it’s a good thing, because my three-year-old son snuck into the room. We didn’t even notice until he quickly jumped onto the bed and jumps on my back. He looked over my shoulder at my wife and says ‘What are ya’ll doing?’ Well, that killed the mood real quick.”
“My husband works out of town. He is gone for two weeks and comes home for a week. He is definitely “ready to go” when he gets home. So the day he comes home we’re having middle of the day sex and he’s doing me doggy style. I have an ample ass so there is that wonderful slapping noise as he’s thrusting. My three-year-old who was down stairs comes up and starts knocking on our bedroom door.
She says ‘what’s going on in there? Mom are you ok? Is Dad hitting you?’ My husband kept going like a champ but I was laughing so hard. Super embarrassing. This is why we usually wait until the kids go to bed. Also my husband does not hit me. I don’t know where that came from in her mind.”
“He put his hand under my back to lift me up for a position change mid-through and he ended up popping out one of my ribs. To this day it is the worst pain I have ever experienced.”
“Two stories, both including my wife.
1: I had a heart attack while having sex with my (then girlfriend) wife for the very first time. She thought I finished in her and got extremely mad.
2: years later, she was on top of me while I was on my back and I said something stupid and she started laughing. She started laughing so hard she farted… while I was inside her… which made her laugh even harder and she peed all over me… makes for a funny memory.”
“He fingered my bellybutton. I can only assume he thought it was my clit, but how?
Edit: Yeah, yeah, it’s an erogenous zone for some people, but I’m pretty damn sure he thought it was my clit because when he finally touched my actual clit he was surprised. Yes, I communicated. No, he wasn’t even close to finishing me off or close enough to be able to try to.”
“We were having sex in the dark & I went to get on top but misjudged how close we were to the edge of the bed.
I ended up falling off the bed, dragging him down with me & onto some friends who were sleeping on the floor.”
A version of this story was published February 2020.
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You're Avarage Reviewer.
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03/23/2022
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Erotic short Stories: Read by Mia Hart
Erotic stories ~ Erotica ~ Literotica ~ Sexuality ~ Sexual Tales
Friday's | Hot Passionate Sex Stories to Heat Up Your Nights
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HOT SEXY STORIES designed to GET YOU OFF. This is audio sex at it's finest. Get your tool for play too, use offer code DIRTY50 for 50 percent OFF, Free Shipping, Free Hot DVDs, and a Mystery Gift at www.adameve.com. Gotta use that code DIRTY50. Subscribe and give us some feedback luv
Getting aroused in public is sure challenging for some. Well, not for Brigette! You might want to reconsider this kind of date and give her a shot. Tune into this episode and imagine both the hassle and fun. Feeling naughty after listening to this week’s episode? Adam and Eve is giving you a special offer. Visit their online shop and enter the promo code Dirty10 at the checkout and they will give you 50 percent off on almost any single item. There will also be free gifts, including a free shipping for your order!
Have you ever thought of using your body for your own advantage? Well, be like Caroline in this podcast as she definitely rules over officer Brian. Get ready to have another racy law breaker as you listen to this episode. Needing something to satisfy your desires? Adam and Eve is giving you a special offer. Visit their online shop and enter the promo code Dirty10 at the checkout and they will give you 50 percent off on almost any single item. There will also be free gifts, including a free shipping for your order!
Welcome parties are always one of the most memorable parts of joining a new group or organization. Get ready for some surprise and fun as our character have her sexiest and most memorable welcome party in her new sorority house. Do you want to have some sexy props for your sexy party? Adam and Eve is giving you a special offer. Visit their online shop and enter the promo code Dirty10 at the checkout and they will give you 50 percent off on almost any single item. There will also be free gifts, including a free shipping for your order!
Wear the costume of your own preference like our character, Victoria, as we will get another sexy performance in this week’s episode. Sit back, relax, and get ready to load off as you will listen to a performance that you wouldn’t ever forget. Do you want to have your costume for your own sexy performance-=? Adam and Eve is giving you a special offer. Visit their online shop and enter the promo code Dirty10 at the checkout and they will give you 50 percent off on almost any single item. There will also be free gifts, including a free shipping for your order!
Sexual Debut of a 18-Year-Old Male Virgin
Dana took the chance to give Josh, her so-much-younger crush, his sexual debut. Listen to tonight’s episode as Dana made her move to give Josh his first orgasm having sex with a hot mature woman. Feeling nasty after listening to this week’s episode? If you’re feeling hot and ready for something new, head on to Adam and Eve for your next sex toy. Visit their online shop and enter the promo code Dirty10 at the checkout and they will give you 50 percent off on almost any single item. There will also be free gifts, including a free shipping for your order!
Are you up for something new? Listen to this week’s episode and join our Janna and Charity as they engage into the most extreme horny feeling ever we could imagine. Wanna try something new? Adam and Eve is giving you a special offer. Visit their online shop and enter the promo code Dirty10 at the checkout and they will give you 50 percent off on almost any single item. There will also be free gifts, including a free shipping for your order!
There are a lot of the same stories on this podcast. That’s annoying.
For some reason my ding dong got all wet and sticky. Obviously this podcast causes health issues. DO NOT RECOMMEND.
Y’all know it’s just sound porn right?
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"I heard my dad whisper, 'Oh, it's really hard, alright."
"It still haunts me to this day, all that jiggling."
"When I asked what was happening, my mom said, 'Oh, nothing — I dropped my earring on the bed, and your father and I are just looking for it. It's just really hard with a bed this big.' So I just left the room, shook, and as I did, I heard my dad whisper, ' Oh, it's really hard, alright .' Canada Day has never been the same."
"I should note, if you think a 19-year-old should have known better, I had lived alone with my mom since age six, and she didn't get married until I was 18. So I was not prepared for this kind of thing."
"She eventually had to explain that sometimes grown-ups have sex just for fun."
"My mom just laughed, 'Your father and I have sex. It's not the worst thing in the world.' But to this day, I will not unpack anyone's bags but my own."
"It went on for so long that I actually texted my mom to tell her we could hear them. Then she came out of the bedroom and told that what we were hearing...was her talking in her sleep . I was so embarrassed."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
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