Free Female Dom
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Free Female Dom
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What you should really know about dom and sub dynamics today...
Whether you’re watching Tarzan or Fifty Shades of Grey, it seems like all the men and women follow the same script: he dominates, she submits. That narrative isn’t as accurate as it used to be, however. In fact, changing gender roles are transforming sex in surprising ways.
One of the biggest changes? Traditional “dom” (dominate) and “sub” (submissive) roles are no longer being tied to a specific gender. In fact, more men are embracing submission in the bedroom … and more female partners are feeling empowered enough to take charge.
How do I know? I’ve witnessed some of the changes first-hand through the Skirt Club, an underground community I founded for girls who play with girls . When I used to go to other play parties, I noticed they all had one trait in common: I didn’t see any women fucking men. I didn’t see women taking charge of how they wanted to have sex. They simply felt required to do it, and that had to stop.
In fact, women have even asked me to take part in threesomes only because they wanted to please their boyfriends. My response? Don’t do it for them – do it for yourself . So with Skirt Club, my intention was to build a sexually safe environment where any woman can explore her bisexual or bi-curious side .
In fact, I think women’s increasingly dominant role in bed is a direct result of their improved sexual confidence. Gone is the shy wallflower who accepted her role as the pleaser, and in comes the siren who knows how she’d like to be pleased. Knowledge and taking control are two of the factors driving women to demand men meet their needs.
However, women aren’t the only ones trying to find the sexual behavior that fits them best.
“I don’t think that men are becoming more submissive,” says one interviewed dominatrix. “Instead, the ones who had the urge to be submissive are feeling more validated to bring it up because it’s becoming more mainstream [from projects like 50 Shades]!”
She further explains, though, that “many men definitely don’t always want to be in charge all the time. It’s a huge weight off their shoulders when women take charge, initiate intimacy and play the role of the pursuer. Men want to feel desired too.”
One 2015 study even reported that the more powerful a man or woman, the less inhibited and more aroused they are by sadomasochism. This lack of inhibition helps powerful people disregard social norms. Powerful women are often aroused more by sadistic thoughts while powerful men are typically attracted to masochism.
So today, more women are taking charge of their sexuality and more men are learning to take the backseat in the bedroom. But what dom/sub dynamic is best for a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship might give both partners the chance to dominate and submit, depending on their moods. For instance, a hard day at the office often creates the need for stress relief at bedtime. That could mean anything from being ordered around, physically hurt or reprimanded.
As sex therapist Hannah Green points out , “It can be really healthy to experience all parts of yourself. And it gives you access to a wide range of experiences.”
The “healthiest” dynamic, though, is whatever dynamic best fits you and your partner. Wanting to dominate or submit to someone is nothing to be ashamed of, and you shouldn’t feel required to “act” a certain way in bed because of your gender.
Whether you’re at a play party or just spending time with your partner, sex shouldn’t be the main goal, per se. Instead, the experience should be about self-discovery and empowerment.
I’m proud to say that I know myself, I never doubt myself and I’m never unsure. Hopefully, as more men and women find sexual gender roles that fit them – and not society – more people will be able to say the same.
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SmugMug + Flickr .
Connecting people through photography.
One of the most characteristic images of the plains of Africa is that of the tsessebe and topi standing on a termite mound vantage point. Once thought to be a show of dominance this pose is now known to be more of habit than any show of domination.
The tsessebe and topi of East Africa are subspecies that could interbreed if they occurred over the same range. There is a slight variation in horn structure and coat shade, and the herd structures of female tsessbes are smaller than those of the topi.
Tsessebe have pre-orbital glands which they rub on grass stems which leaves an advertorial secretion. They will also rub their faces and horns in mud. It is thought that this is to make their horns look bigger but as the females also do it the theory is not accepted by everyone.
The tsessebe are grazers and prefer feeding on new shoots. They are known to be the first animals to arrive on an area after a burn, where they feed on the new growth. The tsessebe are often found with other species such as zebra and wildebeest. There is generally not competition for food as all three species prefer different parts of the plants they feed on.
On the plains of Africa, the tsessebe is the fastest antelope.
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click to activate the icon of slideshow: the small triangle inscribed in the small rectangle, at the top right, in the photostream;
or…. Press the “L” button to zoom in the image;
clicca sulla piccola icona per attivare lo slideshow: sulla facciata principale del photostream, in alto a destra c'è un piccolo rettangolo (rappresenta il monitor) con dentro un piccolo triangolo nero;
oppure…. premi il tasto “L” per ingrandire l'immagine;
Easter in Sicily is a deeply felt recurrence throughout the island since ancient times, it has always had the moving participation of the people as its fulcrum, with representations and processions that have become rites and traditions that unequivocally characterize many Sicilian centers, and which evoke the moments most salient narrated in the Gospels and recalling the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, with processions formed by the various brotherhoods (sometimes with theatrical re-enactments) which have in themselves contents and symbols often coming from the Spanish domination, which took place in Sicily between the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. This year 2022 then, the celebrations returned after two years of absolute stop of the Easter rites due to the pandemic from Covid-19, rites which, however, and necessarily, were carried out with due precautions, in many cases we have witnessed a painful but necessary reduction of the rites (in some centers there were no processions). Here I present a photographic story that I made in the Sicilian town of Enna during the afternoon until late in the evening, after I had been in the town of Villarosa during the day (see the previous photographic story); is the story of the Good Friday procession of Enna, a procession which, for its beauty, theatricality and majesty, represents the most engaging moment of the whole Holy Week in Enna, so much so that UNESCO declared this week a good protected. Attending this rite, so exciting, personally every time induces me a feeling almost of disorientation: seeing the devotees with their typical attire, characterizing their congregation to which they belong, induces me very strongly the feeling of not being in Sicily anymore, in Enna ... but to have been teleported to Spain, perhaps to the city of Seville, or taken back in time when Sicily was under Iberian domination ...! The procession begins on the afternoon of Good Friday, we witness the appearance of numerous hooded brothers (the brotherhoods are 16, while in 1740 there were 34), almost all the brothers are covered with faces, except those with uncovered faces that lead in shoulder the heavy float of Our Lady of Sorrows, and the float of the Dead Christ (normally every year the confreres are about two thousand five hundred - three thousand, but this year, perhaps due to the restrictions caused by the covid, a lower number was recorded) . During the procession, we witness the congregation carrying a whole series of symbols that have a reference to the Passion of Christ, such as the nails of his crucifixion, the ladder, the spear that pierced his side, the sponge soaked in wine vinegar , the dice, the crown of thorns, the scourge, and the rooster (beautiful specimen, alive), and others. The procession of Enna is made up of exclusively male brotherhoods, the only female presence that makes an exception is given by the numerous "nuns", they are girls dressed like the Poor Clares or Carmelite nuns who accompany the various brotherhoods during the procession. The rites end late at night.
La Pasqua in Sicilia è una ricorrenza profondamente sentita in tutta l’isola fin dall’antichità, essa ha sempre avuto come fulcro la commossa partecipazione del popolo, con rappresentazioni e processioni divenuti riti e tradizioni che caratterizzano inequivocabilmente numerosissimi centri Siciliani, che rievocano i momenti più salienti narrati nei Vangeli e che ricordano la Passione, la Morte e la Resurrezione di Gesù Cristo, con cortei formati dalle varie confraternite (a volte con rievocazioni teatrali) che hanno in se contenuti e simbologie spesso provenienti dalla dominazione Spagnola, avvenuta in Sicilia tra il XVI ed il XVII secolo. Quest’anno 2022 poi, le celebrazioni sono ritornate dopo due anni di assoluto fermo dei riti pasquali a causa della pandemia da Covid-19, riti che comunque, e necessariamente, si sono svolti con le dovute precauzioni, in molti casi si è assistito ad una dolorosa ma necessaria riduzione dei riti (in alcuni centri le processioni non ci sono state). Qui presento un racconto fotografico che ho realizzato nella cittadina siciliana di Enna durante il pomeriggio fino a sera inoltrata, dopo che ero stato durante il giorno nel paese di Villarosa (vedi il racconto fotografico precedente); è il racconto della processione del Venerdì Santo di Enna, processione che, per la sua bellezza, teatralità e maestosità, rappresenta il momento più coinvolgente di tutta la Settimana Santa di Enna, tant'è che l'UNESCO ha dichiarato questa settimana, un bene protetto. Assistere a questo rito, così emozionante, personalmente ogni volta mi induce una sensazione quasi di spaesamento: nel vedere i devoti con i loro tipici abbigliamenti, caratterizzanti la loro congregazione di appartenenza, mi induce fortissima la sensazione di non trovarmi più in Sicilia, ad Enna...ma di essere stato teletrasportato in Spagna, magari nella città di Siviglia, oppure portato a ritroso nel tempo quando la Sicilia era sotto la dominazione Iberica...! La processione ha inizio il pomeriggio del Venerdì Santo, si assiste all'apparire di numerosissimi confrati incappucciati (le confraternite sono 16, mentre nel 1740 erano ben 34), quasi tutti i confrati sono a volto coperto, tranne quelli a volto scoperto che portano in spalla le pesanti vare (i fercoli) della Madonna Addolorata, e quella del Cristo Morto (normalmente ogni anno i confrati sono circa duemilacinquecento - tremila, però quest'anno, forse a causa delle restrizioni causate dal covid, si è registrato un numero inferiore). Si assiste durante la processione, alla congregazione che porta tutta una serie di simboli che hanno un riferimento con la Passione di Cristo, come i chiodi della sua crocifissione, la scala, la lancia che gli trafisse il costato, la spugna imbevuta di aceto di vino, i dadi, la corona di spine, il flagello, ed il gallo (bellissimo esemplare, vivo), ed altri. La processione di Enna è composta da confraternite esclusivamente maschili, l'unica presenza femminile che vi fa eccezione è data dalle numerose “monachelle”, sono delle bambine vestite come le monache clarisse o le monache carmelitane che accompagnano le varie confraternite durante la processione. I riti terminano a notte fonda.
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click to activate the icon of slideshow: the small triangle inscribed in the small rectangle, at the top right, in the photostream;
or…. Press the “L” button to zoom in the image;
clicca sulla piccola icona per attivare lo slideshow: sulla facciata principale del photostream, in alto a destra c'è un piccolo rettangolo (rappresenta il monitor) con dentro un piccolo triangolo nero;
oppure…. premi il tasto “L” per ingrandire l'immagine;
Easter in Sicily is a deeply felt recurrence throughout the island since ancient times, it has always had the moving participation of the people as its fulcrum, with representations and processions that have become rites and traditions that unequivocally characterize many Sicilian centers, and which evoke the moments most salient narrated in the Gospels and recalling the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, with processions formed by the various brotherhoods (sometimes with theatrical re-enactments) which have in themselves contents and symbols often coming from the Spanish domination, which took place in Sicily between the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. This year 2022 then, the celebrations returned after two years of absolute stop of the Easter rites due to the pandemic from Covid-19, rites which, however, and necessarily, were carried out with due precautions, in many cases we have witnessed a painful but necessary reduction of the rites (in some centers there were no processions).
The photographic story that I present here speaks of the ritual that took place on the morning of Good Friday in the delightful town of Villarosa (Enna), (an agricultural center that suffered a worrying phenomenon of emigration abroad in the twentieth century, due to the growing unemployment that took place in throughout the South), this rite was limited in its development by the aforementioned prudential rules, in fact it was not possible to assist in the procession in the presence of the female congregation that should have carried the float of the Virgin Mary of Sorrows on their shoulders, and of the male congregation that he should have carried on his shoulder the Dead Christ, Christ at the column, and other floats that recall characters and scenes from the Passion. (the "vara" is the term with which in the south, and therefore also in Sicily, we mean the "float” or “ferculum").
La Pasqua in Sicilia è una ricorrenza profondamente sentita in tutta l’isola fin dall’antichità, essa ha sempre avuto come fulcro la commossa partecipazione del popolo, con rappresentazioni e processioni divenuti riti e tradizioni che caratterizzano inequivocabilmente numerosissimi centri Siciliani, che rievocano i momenti più salienti narrati nei Vangeli e che ricordano la Passione, la Morte e la Resurrezione di Gesù Cristo, con cortei formati dalle varie confraternite (a volte con rievocazioni teatrali) che hanno in se contenuti e simbologie spesso provenienti dalla dominazione Spagnola, avvenuta in Sicilia tra il XVI ed il XVII secolo. Quest’anno 2022 poi, le celebrazioni sono ritornate dopo due anni di assoluto fermo dei riti pasquali a causa della pandemia da Covid-19, riti che comunque, e necessariamente, si sono svolti con le dovute precauzioni, in molti casi si è assistito ad una dolorosa ma necessaria riduzione dei riti (in alcuni centri le processioni non ci sono state).
Il racconto fotografico che qui presento, parla del rito avvenuto la mattina del Venerdì Santo nella deliziosa cittadina di Villarosa (Enna), (centro agricolo che ha subito nel XX secolo un preoccupante fenomeno di emigrazione all’estero, a causa della crescente disoccupazione avutasi in tutto il Mezzogiorno), questo rito è stato limitato nel suo svolgersi dalle già citate norme prudenziali, infatti non si è potuto assistere nella processione alla presenza della congregazione femminile che avrebbe dovuto portare in spalla la vara della Vergine Maria Addolorata, e della congregazione maschile che avrebbe dovuto portare in spalla il Cristo Morto, il Cristo alla colonna, ed altre vare che rievocano personaggi ed scene della Passione. (la “vara” è il termine col quale nel meridione, e quindi anche in Sicilia, si intende il “fercolo”).
-----------------------------------------------------------------
click to activate the icon of slideshow: the small triangle inscribed in the small rectangle, at the top right, in the photostream;
or…. Press the “L” button to zoom in the image;
clicca sulla piccola icona per attivare lo slideshow: sulla facciata principale del photostream, in alto a destra c'è un piccolo rettangolo (rappresenta il monitor) con dentro un piccolo triangolo nero;
oppure…. premi il tasto “L” per ingrandire l'immagine;
Easter in Sicily is a deeply felt recurrence throughout the island since ancient times, it has always had the moving participation of the people as its fulcrum, with representations and processions that have become rites and traditions that unequivocally characterize many Sicilian centers, and which evoke the moments most salient narrated in the Gospels and recalling the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, with processions formed by the various brotherhoods (sometimes with theatrical re-enactments) which have in themselves contents and symbols often coming from the Spanish domination, which took place in Sicily between the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. This year 2022 then, the celebrations returned after two years of absolute stop of the Easter rites due to the pandemic from Covid-19, rites which, however, and necessarily, were carried out with due precautions, in many cases we have witnessed a painful but necessary reduction of the rites (in some centers there were no processions). Here I present a photographic story that I made in the Sicilian town of Enna during the afternoon until late in the evening, after I had been in the town of Villarosa during the day (see the previous photographic story); is the story of the Good Friday procession of Enna, a procession which, for its beauty, theatricality and majesty, represents the most engaging moment of the whole Holy Week in Enna, so much so that UNESCO declared this week a good protected. Attending this rite, so exciting, personally every time induces me a feeling almost of disorientation: seeing the devotees with their typical attire, characterizing their congregation to which they belong, induces me very strongly the feeling of not being in Sicily anymore, in Enna ... but to have been teleported to Spain, perhaps to the city of Seville, or taken back in time when Sicily was under Iberian domination ...! The procession begins on the afternoon of Good Friday, we witness the appearance of numerous hooded brothers (the brotherhoods are 16, while in 1740 there were 34), almost all the brothers are covered with faces, except those with uncovered faces that lead in shoulder the heavy float of Our Lady of Sorro
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