Freaky Sex Toy

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Freaky Sex Toy

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WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST DWAYNE JOHNSON DILDO
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST DRAGON INSPIRED DILDO
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST CRYSTAL SEX TOY
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST RUBBER DUCK VIBRATOR
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST FOOT FETISHIST MASTURBATOR
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST HAMMER VIBRATOR
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST TENTACLE DILDO
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST TENTACLE MASTURBATION STROKER
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST BUTT PLUG WITH TAIL
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST VEGETABLE VIBRATOR
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST CERAMIC BUTT PLUG
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST WEREWOLF DILDO
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST PENGUIN CLIT STIMULATOR
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST DRAGON ANAL PROBE
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST SWISS BALL DILDO
WEIRD SEX TOYS - BEST CHIN STRAP-ON
WEIRD SEX TOYS - PENIS MOULDING KIT

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From tentacle shaped dildos to vibrating veg, we bring you the weirdest and best sex toys on the planet.
Sure, having sex with your girlfriend is fun. But have you tried using a tentacle shaped dildo to get one off? That's right folks, sex toys have come a long way since your bog standard Fleshlight burst onto the scene.
If you're looking to ramp up your me-time, you're bored of the old five knuckle shuffle or you're simply curious, you've come to the right place.
From dragon-inspired anal probes to Dwayne Johnson shaped dildos, we bring you the weird and wonderful world of bizarre sex toys to get you off.
Fans of anal play and all night party people unite! This clever butt plug comes with carefully placed bulges along its tapered tip to work as anal beads for your backdoor pleasure. But the best part? It also glows under ultraviolet light. Which presumably comes in handy during those all-night orgies when you need help locating the goal. Rave on!
Always fantasised about getting ripped like The Rock and challenging the people's champ to a bare knuckle wrestling match? Sadly, no amount of CrossFit will give you his incredible physique if you're not blessed with superior genetics. But now you can finally dominate Dwayne Johnson like you've always dreamed with this 9-inch dong shaped just like his handsome face. As the man says himself, "Grind Hard, Shine Hard!"
Admit it, since playing Dungeons and Dragons long into the night during your lost youth, you've always fantasised about getting rear-ended by a mythical beast. Well now is your chance, as some clever sex toy manufacturers have created this scaly 8.25 inch dong for your otherworldly pleasure. Made from body safe platinum silicone and designed to stimulate the prostate or G-spot, now you can truly be the dungeon master of your dreams. Just don't forget the lube .
Yes it's a rose quartz crystal shaped like a phallus. No we're not sure why. But if crystals really can promote physical, emotional and spiritual healing, they can probably give you an extra hard boner too. Ommmm.
Sometimes we all find ourselves soaking leisurely in the tub after a hard day's work when we suddenly feel a bit frisky. Fortunately this bath toy is no ordinary rubber duckie. It might look innocent enough, but this waterproof bird comes with a delightful 7 vibration patterns to direct thrilling sensations to any body part you choose. Just remember to fish it out when the in-laws visit.
Is it a gherkin, a zombie shlong, or are you due a visit to the sexual health clinic? We're not entirely sure, but this Hercules-inspired dildo made from platinum silicone is bound to strike fear and arousal into the hearts of its lovers. For maximum effect, don't forget the harness .
Secretly harbouring a desire to hump your lover's feet? Foot fetishists will be delighted to hear you can now buy a pair of sexy silicone feet, complete with a vagina! Moulded on real people to create that bona fide tootsy look and feel, the vaginal opening sits on top of the ankle for your pleasure. Or if the orifice gives you the willies, you can buy seriously authentic looking feet without sex holes too. No kink judgement here, you do you.
We're going to level with you: if you associate DIY tools with sexual pleasure, you should probably pay a visit to your psychotherapist before you get stuck in. But, provided you're all consenting adults and this is part of your pre-organised kink, then investing in a Love Hamma is an excellent compromise. It looks exactly like a regular tool, but it's made from skin soft silicone and comes with powerful vibrating rabbit ears in its hammer head, plus a glorious thrusting shaft. Just don't try and bang any actual nails into the wall.
Remember that time when you got lost at sea, but then a giant Kraken rescued you from your sinking pirate ship and used its ginormous day-glow tentacles to lovingly penetrate your orifices and restore you back to good health? If this sounds familiar, now you can recreate your shipwreck fantasy with this whopping tentacle dildo, complete with realistic ridges along its invertebrate shaft.
Or if you really want to take it to the next level, the brand also makes alien cocks complete with gestating eggs . Mind: blown.
While we're on the subject of ginormous mythical sea monsters, if you'd prefer to insert your penis into a tentacle, this textured tube is lined with fishy like ridges that (once you add lube ) promises to feel just like getting sucked off by a cephalopod. Living the dream.
Furries (AKA animal fetishists) will love this stainless steel butt plug complete with a foxy little tail to swish around at bedtime. Admittedly the foxes in our manor all look a bit malnourished when we spot them rummaging around the bins at midnight. But don't let us ruin your fantasy sex games.
We're not sure what's weirder about this sex toy, the fact that some people might find fake vegetables arousing, or that you can buy it from high street health food store Holland and Barrett. But who are we to judge? Sex is healthy! And corn on the cob is rich in vitamin C. So next time you pop into the store to pick up your protein supplements , treat yourself to a waterproof, ridged and vibrating cob for kicks. It's vegan too.
The Dutch are widely known to be some of the happiest people on earth, and we've just found out why. This gorgeous ceramic butt plug has been handmade in Holland and lovingly illustrated with Delft-blue floral patterns for your anal pleasure. It's just the right size and shape to target your perineum, but will also blend in with the other bits and pieces on your mantelpiece when the in-laws visit.
Admittedly we've never had the pleasure of seeing an actual werewolf (or its willy) in real life. But if we did, we're pretty sure that this 8 inch long and 6.25 inch wide silken silicone wolf dildo complete with rippling veins would be bang on the money. Beware the full moon.
Don't be put off by the fact that this miniature penguin dressed in a tiny tuxedo can make your girl come quicker than you ever could. Most humans would struggle to match up to clitoral-targeted Air-Pulse Technology. In this instance we'd suggest you just roll with it and let the tiny bird give your misses head. Yes it's a bit weird, but her pleasure equals your pleasure, so ultimately everybody wins.
In our hunt for the world's weirdest sex toys we found a large number of dragon themed bedroom gadgets out there, which shouldn't really come as a surprise as geeks need love too. So, if the idea of getting fingered by the beast gets you off, or you simply want to close your eyes and pretend someone with really scaly old digits is giving you a hand-job, now's your chance.
Admittedly we found this on a website in the Philippines so it will probably be wildly expensive (and potentially embarrassing) trying to get it shipped over. But we couldn't not include it. It's a Swiss ball! With a dildo attached! What's not to love?
If your girl struggles to climax during penetrative sex and you long to please her, we have the answer! Simply slip this shlong onto your chin and let her climb onboard. She gets to enjoy the feeling of penetration and direct clitoral stimulation from your real-life tongue, and you get bragging rights for adequately pleasuring your misses. Just don't forget to breathe.
If you'd prefer a dildo ball gag, this Zado Leather Mouth is also rather effective.
Self-love is an import pillar of good health. After a hard session in the gym, what's the best way to treat yourself for honing your body to perfection? Creating an exact replica of your manhood and having sex with yourself, of course! Clone your willy with this penis moulding kit and love yourself the way you truly deserve, cowboy.



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Nov 21, 2014
Updated: November 21st, 2014




Society's attitude towards sex has certainly come a long way over the last few generations - our grandparents might be looked upon as prudish and unadventurous but since the Swinging Sixties our predilection for turning things up a notch between the sheets has increased exponentially. Many people are still more than satisfied with the presence of their partner as enough stimulation to get things going, but there are plenty of people out there who prefer a little something extra to spice things up (or to pass the time while they're alone). Consequently, a thriving industry of sex toys has emerged over the years, providing those people with everything they need. Needless to say, as anyone who's spent a little time on the internet soon realises, there are some people out there whose needs and desires are, you might say, a little unconventional. Given that we live in an age where practically anything you can think of has already been thought of by someone else, even the most bizarre sexual fantasy has been catered for. Here are 15 of the weirdest and sometimes disturbing sex toys you can actually buy, that even those who wouldn't consider themselves to be prudish at all might be shocked by...



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By:



Pauli Poisuo



September 27, 2014

These days, the name “Tesla” is synonymous with “crashing into things and catching on fire,” which is basically how the man himself operated.
Maybe Andy Warhol’s “Batman Dracula” can show up in the DC multiverse.
Developers, who hurt you and made you so weird?
It's time we finally save New Mombasa.
Reminder: canonically Pokémon and humans used to get married.
"If it exists, there's porn of it. No exceptions." - Rule 34
"Fascinating. Mind if we take notes?" -Sex toy industry
Everyone reading this has probably heard the saying: "Anything's a sex toy if you're brave enough." There are people who treat everyday objects as potential sex toys, stuffing things up their butts in numbers that have required poor medical researchers to write actual papers on objects doctors have found up folks.
But bring these brave, funny-walking people online, and they're suddenly just a part of a much, much bigger kink factory. As dictated by Rule 34, the Internet is able to create porn out of anything. And that's fine. It's no secret this great big sea of information is full of dark, slightly sticky islands that will cause the bravest of us to reach for our trusty bottle of brain bleach.
However, not all Rule 34 porn that should stay online stays online. Turns out, the sex toy industry has been peering over your shoulder as you write your Furby/Zombie Ronald McDonald fanfic, stolen all the juiciest parts, and turned them into terrifying things for people to fuck in their own homes.
Come, feast your eyes on the real-life manifestations of the darkest corners of the Internet, custom made to freak out your genitalia in a manner that is guaranteed to leave you in need of a shower. Of lye, possibly.
Note: As you can probably guess, all links from now on are NSFW as balls.
Fleshlight Freaks come from probably the most well-known company on this list, seeing as Fleshlight is to masturbation toys what Oreos are to sandwich cookies. Their horror-inspired freak toys started life as a one-off Halloween campaign a few years ago, but stuck around and became immensely popular, because of course they did. Based on popular movie monsters, they offer a chance to fuck the Bride of Frankenstein, a vampire (complete with bat-winged labia, naturally), a space robot thing, and a zombie.
Note that at least two of those things are technically corpses.
The newest addition to the line is the alien, a blue, triangular thing apparently based on the ThunderCat Smurfs from Avatar , despite the fact that in the movie their chosen method of fucking is ponytail rape .
Oh, and if for some reason you're not into stickin' it to latex reimaginations of murderous carcasses: the company offers female and male versions of each monster genitalia. You know, just in case you feel like owning a graphically decomposing zombie dick.
As we all know, nothing says "sexy time" like the friendly face of a clown, slowly approaching your nether regions accompanied by a buzzing sound.
No, wait. What I meant to say was "murder." Nothing screams " murder " like a clown about to go nuts on your fun parts.
Whoever made this fuckin' product must have taken a cue from all the cutesy dolphin and rabbit vibrators out there and gone for the nicest childhood image they could conjure. Unfortunately, they spent their childhood locked in a well, and their only memory from that time is that goddamn face, as it periodically hosed them with a giant squirting flower and whispered obscenities at them in the dark.
The clown vibrator is actually part of a series of cartoon-themed crotch ticklers, and somehow it isn't even the most unnerving one of them. That prize goes to the all-star baseball player:
Note to aspiring sadists everywhere: it takes talent to make a sex toy with a "I could not care less about you" thousand-yard stare, but only a true master will then ask you to pleasure yourself with its hydrocephalus.
My one consolation researching this article was that I assumed Felix Clay had already uncovered all instances of sexualized arachnids in his foray into Rule 34 , so I would be spared.
That, friends, is a vibrator, and it's also an unnecessarily realistic scorpion statuette. With a box shaped like a coffin and a name like Death by Orgasm , this thing is either heavily marketed for goths or the worst-camouflaged Darwin Award test the world has ever seen (options are not mutually exclusive).
While the website does state that the product is not available anymore, this is a small consolation. It means that, at some point, the product actually was on sale, and there are any number of these things hiding in people's nightstand drawers right now. Watching. Scheming.
Twilight has thankfully been removed from its status as the ruler of hearts of people who don't know better, and the mind-boggling number of otherwise sane human beings who freaked out over the books and movies have grown up and quietly tossed all evidence of their Stephenie Meyer habit to the "FREE STUFF!" bin at the yard sale or, better yet, an incinerator.
Yet, somehow, the remains of the phenomenon linger. Remains such as the Vamp Dildo .
I'm not even going to link a picture of this thing. It's a rubber dong. You know what a rubber dong looks like, you've been on the Internet. That's not the point of the product, anyway. The point is that it's called the fucking Vamp Dildo, and also it sparkles. Remember that scene from the first Twilight film, the one that everyone who's not a vampire made fun of for years? It's like that, but this time with an actual dick instead of a metaphorical one.
Still, should you happen to be the kind of person that buys creepy Meyer memorabilia such as Twilight underwear , you might as well go the whole nine yards and get one of these, if only to creep out Robert Pattinson. Dude's already so ashamed of his association with the movies, he's started to overcompensate by looking like Wolverine.
"This is my 'PLEASE FORGET WHAT I DID BETWEEN 2008 AND 2012' beard."
Not that it will help him much when it comes to sex toys ...
"Hey, Bob, you know that Badger character from the X-Men that everyone likes? With the sideburns and a Hugh Jackman? Design a sex toy after him, will you?"
"Uh ... you mean Wolverine? You want a dildo with his face, or what?"
"Nah, let's avoid lawsuits this time. Just focus on his most recognizable power and turn it into a butt plug or whatever."
"His most recognizable power is fist knifes."
"Too obvious? Well, how about some knuckle-blade-themed fetish gear? Use a different amount of knives than the Badger has
Ts Blowjob Tumblr
Slow Fucking
Women In Charge Femdom