Freak Of Nature Penis
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Freak Of Nature Penis
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Jamie founded Listverse due to an insatiable desire to share fascinating, obscure, and bizarre facts. He has been a guest speaker on numerous national radio and television stations and is a five time published author.
Kermit the Frog sang that “It ain’t easy being green.” How about, “It ain’t easy being a conjoined-twin forced into a humiliating form of circus-slavery,” or “It ain’t easy having no limbs.” Being green is the least of these people’s worries (in fact, it might be nice to be culturally-beloved for a change). At the turn of the last century, entertainment was a different species than it is today, having no T.V. nor radio nor action movies; you had to witness a living miracle in order to be fully entertained, and circuses provided that very thing. Showcasing hoards of deformed and mutant varieties of humans – that freak-collectors like P.T. Barnum rounded up and whipped into shape – the world marveled at what it so often sought to sweep under its own carpet. Circus sideshows might have been a cruel form of psychological abuse for any of the so-called “freaks” placed under contract (or a kind of indentured slavery), but some of these individuals also went on to profit greatly off what no one else would hire. So as you ask yourself, “Was being a circus freak actually a bad thing?” – given the duality of the situation – step right up and ogle at these 10 freaks of nature:
Not Paris and Nicky – although they are a different sort of freak – these sisters were twins. Conjoined, to be exact. They shared a common blood and nervous system, which means they truly felt all the same pain. They were sold as slaves by their impecunious mother to a midwife, who greedily took advantage of their misfortune; while they sang, danced, played instruments in circus sideshows, their veritable slave-owner kept all their earnings and forbade them from socializing. Eventually a lawyer helped them escape their proverbial shackles and even reacquire the money they were swindled out of. They went on to do movies (including 1932’s Freaks) and earned as much as $5000 at the height of their showbiz careers.
These “wild men” were actually a twin pair of mentally-retarded midgets, for which there’d be no hope of employment if not for those ever-gawking circus-goers providing seemingly limitless opportunity (at least back in 1852). They were bought from their mother at the age of 26 by a man named Lyman Warner, and were taught their routine by P.T. Barnum, an act which included acrobatics, dancing, speaking in “their native language” (actually gibberish), and reciting poems in English. Enslaved in the Warner family for three generations, they kept on performing for almost fifty years – steady occupation, to say the least.
Born as more of a “finger puppet,” at a weight of 8 ounces and a height of 7 inches, Zarate weighed less than a cat as an adult. She is the smallest recorded human being on Earth, a fact that had no trouble drawing a big crowd at the circus. When she came to America – she was born in Mexico in 1864 – at the age of 12, she was the highest paid dwarf at the time (at $20/hour). Sadly, she died at the age of 26 when her train got stopped in the Rocky Mountains during a snowstorm.
Earle had a condition called acromegalic gigantism, the clinical term for what a circus – such as the Ringling Brothers or Barnum and Bailey – would label simply “a giant.” He traveled with both of the aforementioned for 14 years, longer than his original one-year contract. He also appeared in movies, like Jack and the Beanstalk (guess who he played). While it’s not easy for a “freak” to find normal work, Earle did just that, showing what he was capable of beyond the exploitation of his appearance: he was a salesmen for a wine company, eventually becoming their PR rep, as well as a sculptor, painter, and poet (published in a 1950 book called “Long Shadows”).
Quasimodo is not fictional. Not entirely anyway. Appearing in Victor Hugo’s ultimate tale about being a victim of pure disposition, the eponymous Hunchback of Notre Dame may have been inspired by an actual hunchback who lived in Notre Dame. A British researcher found a memoir excerpt that told of a “humpbacked stone carver” that worked in a cathedral Hugo was very much involved with. Speculation is that he must have come across this rather antisocial individual, given the workers level of involvement on government-commissioned projects. Nicknamed “Le Bossu,” it’s not hard to see how this individual could have led to some fanciful speculations in Hugo’s fertile mind, as this was also about the time he was penning the novel (c.1831).
Not a pleasant thing to be nicknamed, this women was born with a facial deformity that rendered her simply unpleasant to look at (what some might call ugly… or mule-faced). She was actually billed as “the ugliest woman in the world” as if that were an achievement worth aspiring to. In spite of her physical appearance, she was actually a nice person, and was married with child (who didn’t inherit the deformity, but became a problem drinker and criminal – which is to say, more of a social outcast than her).
This dog-boy actually had a canine-like father as well. The dad, Adrian, was a bitter drunk, and ran from his village and into the woods one day, living in the feral manner a stray dog might. He himself faced mockery and ample shunning, and performed in sideshows to make money (billed as the son of a bear and a peasant woman). After he conceived a child, equally as hairy, they toured together until Adrian ended up dying a drunken death. The boy, however, went on to continue performing faithfully – under P.T. Barnum’s top hat – just as a trained dog might, barking and growling on command. In actuality, he wasn’t a dog-child, obviously, he had a condition called hypertrichosis; and more than just barking, he could speak English, Russian, and German (making him essentially quadrilingual).
This indigenous Mexican woman’s memory is literally preserved, as she – following her death in 1860 – was stuffed and put on display the very way she had been while alive. Also born with hypertrichosis, her features were more characteristic of a gorilla than a dog; her nose and ears were especially large, her face was covered with hair, and she had a double pair of teeth which pronounced her mouth as such. She had a husband named Theodor Lent – who had originally purchased her and taught her to be a performer – and eventually a child of the same affliction, who died after three days. She died five days after that (complications from birth), and her exploitative husband had both her and the baby mummified and placed in a glass cabinet. Lent went on to marry another woman with a similar condition, and was later admitted to a mental hospital.
“Pinheads” were an especially big draw in the circus sideshows, and Schlitzie was one of them. Having a condition called microcephalus, his cranium was incredibly underdeveloped and sat like a baby’s head on the shoulders of a grown man. Schlitzie, as far as his brain was concerned anyway, was three. Nonetheless, he sang and danced, could count to 10, and starred in the movie Freaks at the physical age of 40. Also, if you’ve ever read the comic strip Zippy the Pinhead in the Sunday funnies, you can see where the inspiration comes from.
No, not a Human Centipede; this was a real person, although no less startling while dressed in that sleeveless sock outfit. Just a head and a torso, this P.T. Barnum attraction was capable enough as a quadriplegic that he could light a cigarette with just his mouth – not to mention the fact that he had a wife and kids (none of which shared his affliction). He shows up in the movie Freaks, and performs the aforementioned cigarette “trick” – although its hardly a trick when you have no other limbs to rely on.
By TopTenz May 28, 2008 Updated: February 19, 2019 14 Comments 6 Mins Read
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This top ten list is a bit racier than previous lists, but the subject matter, doesn’t change the fact that there is a rating system. If you are sensitive to such things read our list of top ten hats . So how does one get listed as having the most famous penis of all time? Well, it should be or have been a point of discussion, culturally relevant and probably bigger than the average. Of course it helps if thousands or millions of people have seen it. Of course being small and yellow wouldn’t hurt either (see no. 8).
Little Donny was a character in a comedy sketch from the comedic troupe, The Upright Citizen’s Brigade , starring Amy Pohler. In the skit Donny was said to be suffering from magnimus-obliviophallocytis which caused him to have a large penis at a young age. Through digital blurring, the tv show was able to give a vague, blurred outline of his member as it flopped around with a life of its own – hilarious and disturbing to watch. Quite similar to a car wreck that you just can’t look away from. Amy Poehler got her big break here.
During the wedding scene in The Little Mermaid it has been reported that the Minister is a little overexcited about the nuptials and you can see an erection under his robes. It has been dismissed as only being his knee. I can see both sides of the argument, but even so, it “stands up” as a male member of recognition.
In probably the most unlikely nude scene since Kathy Bates in About Schmidt, Bart Simpson exposed his taliwacker in The Simpsons Movie. It was the first time such an exposure in a movie was not given an “R” rating. His yellow twig and berries made a brief but audacious appearance.
The movie Boogie Nights features Dirk Diggler a dimwitted high school dropout with a 13-inch penis who is recruited into the porn industry. While this movie focuses on Dirk’s life within the porn industry it waits strategically until the very end to show the “goods”. The famous scene in which Dirk Diggler reveals his huge, flaccid member has drawn questions from the star Mark Wahlberg . Suffice to say, it is not his natural body part, but a prosthetic penis.
Joey Stivic is a fictional character who first appeared on All in the Family . Joey Stivic was the son and only child of Mike Stivic (played by Rob Reiner ) and Gloria Bunker Stivic (played by Sally Struthers). The character first appeared, as a newborn baby, in a two-part episode of All in the Family airing in December 1975. Such was the popularity of All in the Family that in 1976 the Ideal Toy Company released a 14-inch “Joey Stivic doll” (called “Archie Bunker’s Grandson”) which was billed as the “first anatomically correct male doll.” The doll inspired mild controversy at the time, and is a collectors’ item today.
Wilt’s nickname, “Wilt the Stilt” was aptly given to the Hall of Fame basketball player . If there existed a Hall of Fame promiscuity he would have surely been inducted on his first try. Wilt traveled the globe while playing basketball which put him and his member in contact with thousands of women. In fact, the lifelong bachelor claimed he had sex with 20,000 women. For this to be true, he would have had to had sex with 1.14 women per day from the age of 15 up until the day of his death, a rate of almost eight women a week. I won’t even mention his basketballs.
John Holmes or Johnny Wadd (after the lead character in a series of related films), was one of the most famous male adult film stars of all time, appearing in about 2,500 adult movies in the 1970s and 1980s. He was best known for his exceptionally large penis, which was heavily promoted as being the longest in the porn industry. Although claims have been made that his was actually between 10 – 14 inches, his ex-wives both stated he measured 10 inches. While not the gargantuan 16 inches some reported, he reputation puts him solidly at #3 on this list.
Considered one of the greatest, if not the greatest works of sculpture, Michelangelo’s David is regarded as a symbol both of strength and youthful human beauty, including a clear view of the figure’s penis. There was controversy over the statue’s supposed Biblical reference, since the statue seemed to portray an uncircumcised male, whereas the historical King David was undoubtedly circumcised. It was also suggested that this was a conscious decision in Michelangelo’s effort to emulate the ancient Greek aesthetic ideal, which regarded the circumcised body part as mutilated. While conservative groups have sought to categorize the statue’s brazenness with soft pornography the statue is still held as a great work of art, pubic hair and all.
John Wayne Bobbitt and Lorena Bobbitt made Mr. Bobbit’s male member the most famous one on the planet in 1993 during an incident in which Lorena severed John’s member with a kitchen knife. John arrived home intoxicated and, according to testimony by Lorena, raped his wife. (Note: He was tried and acquitted for this alleged spousal rape in 1994) Afterward, Lorena went to the kitchen for a drink of water and saw a knife on the counter. She grabbed the knife and entered the bedroom where John was asleep; and she proceeded to cut off almost half of his penis. After assaulting her husband, Lorena left the apartment, with the severed body part. After driving a short while, she rolled down the car window and threw it out into a field. Realizing the severity of the incident, she stopped and called 911. The body part was located, packed in ice, and brought to the hospital where it was re-attached by doctors during a nine and a half hour surgery .
what about tommy lee , lou christie.
One name: Porfirio Rubirosa. You know those huge pepper grinders at restaurants? .
I think the Statue of David is the most sad excuse for a penis I have ever seen in my life! It's a very famous work of art, and I respect that, but I still laugh every time I see it. I've changed diapers of babies with bigger winkies than that.
What about the baby's penis from the NIrvana "Nevermind" album cover?
How about Grigori Rasputin's? There's a rumor (or urban legend) that he had more than 10", and that's not yet erected. Also, it was preserved in a museum, therefore, if confirmed, it could also be included in '10 most preserved body parts'.
What about Catharine the Great's stallion?
She wasn't call "the Great" for nuthin!
But then, I am just a lonely Lithuanian lad…drunk on Pinoqachole again.
As anyone who's seen the original can verify, the Statue of David is DEFINITELY an uncircumcised male. Apart from the aesthetic reference to ancinet Greek sculpture, I can't help thinking that Michaelangelo may never actually have seen a circumcised one. I can't imagine they were that common in medieval Florence, and certainly not often on view. Maybe he just chose to model what he knew?
I can't believe the animators sneaked such a scene into the wedding ceremony of the little mermaid. Pretty cool though.
Well, i guess John Wayne Bobbitt junk must be working fine cause he's in a couple of pornos…some movie called Frankenpenis.
I'm sure Wilt's basket"balls" were orange after 20,000 women. 😉
Who knew Milton Berle was so well endowed. I hadn't heard of that "rumor" before.
I seem to recall something about John Dillinger's penis being on display at the Smithsonian, but this web page would seem to refute that: http://www.snopes.com/risque/penile/dillinger.asp
Tom Jones…or as he's also referred to – Tom and his Jones. A friend of mine saw him in Vegas and said he could see the bulge from the 20th row.
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By TopTenz May 28, 2008 Updated: February 19, 2019 14 Comments 6 Mins Read
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This top ten list is a bit racier than previous lists, but the subject matter, doesn’t change the fact that there is a rating system. If you are sensitive to such things read our list of top ten hats . So how does one get listed as having the most famous penis of all time? Well, it should be or have been a point of discussion, culturally relevant and probably bigger than the average. Of course it helps if thousands or millions of people have seen it. Of course being small and yellow wouldn’t hurt either (see no. 8).
Little Donny was a character in a comedy sketch from the comedic troupe, The Upright Citizen’s Brigade , starring Amy Pohler. In the skit Donny was said to be suffering from magnimus-obliviophallocytis which caused him to have a large penis at a young age. Through digital blurring, the tv show was able to give a vague, blurred outline of his member as it flopped around with a life of its own – hilarious and disturbing to watch. Quite similar to a car wreck that you just can’t look away from. Amy Poehler got her big break here.
During the wedding scene in The Little Mermaid it has been reported that the Minister is a little overexcited about the nuptials and you can see an erection under his robes. It has been dismissed as only being his knee. I can see both sides of the argument, but even so, it “stands up” as a male member of recognition.
In probably the most unlikely nude scene since Kathy Bates in About Schmidt, Bart Simpson exposed his taliwacker in The Simpsons Movie. It was the first time such an exposure in a movie was not given an “R” rating. His yellow twig and berries made a brief but audacious appearance.
The movie Boogie Nights features Dirk Diggler a dimwitted high school dropout with a 13-inch penis who is recruited into the porn industry. While this movie focuses on Dirk’s life within the porn industry it waits strategically until the very end to show the “goods”. The famous scene in which Dirk Diggler reveals his huge, flaccid member has drawn questions from the star Mark Wahlberg . Suffice to say, it is not his natural body part, but a prosthetic penis.
Joey Stivic is a fictional character who first appeared on All in the Family . Joey Stivic was the son and only child of Mike Stivic (played by Rob Reiner ) and Gloria Bunker Stivic (played by Sally Struthers). The character first appeared, as a newborn baby, in a two-part episode of All in the Family airing in December 1975. Such was the popularity of All in the Family that in 1976 the Ideal Toy Company released a 14-inch “Joey Stivic doll” (called “Archie Bunker’s Grandson”) which was billed as the “first anatomically correct male doll.” The doll inspired mild controversy at the time, and is a collectors’ item today.
Wilt’s nickname, “Wilt the Stilt” was aptly given to the Hall of Fame basketball player . If there existed a Hall of Fame promiscuity he would have surely been inducted on his first try. Wilt traveled the globe while playing basketball which put him and his member in contact with thousands of women. In fact, the lifelong bachelor claimed he had sex with 20,000 women. For this to be true, he would have had to had sex with 1.14 women per day from the age of 15 up until the day of his death, a rate of almost eight women a week. I won’t even mention his basketballs.
John Holmes or Johnny Wadd (after the lead character in a series of related films), was one of the most famous male adult film stars of all time, appearing in about 2,500 adult movies in the 1970s and 1980s. He was best known for his exceptionally large penis, which was heavily promoted as being the longest in the porn industry. Although claims have been made that his was actually between 10 – 14 inches, his ex-wives both stated he measured 10
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