Freak In The Sheet

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Freak In The Sheet
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This article was written by Miya Yamanouchi and provided by our partners at YourTango .
You might think that vanilla sex is totally your style, but you might be way off. Even if you don't consider yourself a whips-and-chains kind of lady, there are several indications that you might actually enjoy the kinky stuff. Behold:
Signs You're Kind of Kinky
If you've ever done any of the following during a sexual encounter or had them done to you, you might be a little freakier than you thought. 
2. Slapped or smacked your lover on the butt
3. Bitten your lover's neck or other body parts
4. Played roughly or aggressively in bed
6. Played out a fantasy involving a specific role or scenario
7. Placed your hands around your partner's neck
9. Physically restrained your partner
11. Performed degrading acts to your partner
12. Commanded your partner to perform a humiliating act on you
13. Instructed your partner to perform sexual acts on you
14. Called your lover degrading or humiliating names
If any of these look familiar, you've already ventured into the wonderful world of kink or BDSM. Get the details on what the hell BDSM means and how you can incorporate it into your sex life.
Bondage and Discipline
The "B" and "D" in BDSM are all about using restraints in order to heighten sexual pleasure and issuing instructions, rules, or punishments to control or reward behavior within the context of sex. Good to know, right?
Bondage can mean pinning a partner's hands behind their back in order to restrict their movement or slipping on a pair of pink, fluffy handcuffs. Discipline involves physical punishment by use of devices, such as leather whips, as well as psychological punishment. Things like forbidding an orgasm, denying sex, or having to perform sexual or nonsexual acts fall under this category.
Sadism and Masochism
Fact: The term originated from the names of two European writers Marquis de Sade (sadism) and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (masochism), who documented how sexual pleasure could be discovered in the giving and receiving of pain as a form of sexual expression. In other words, these are the dudes you should thank for 50 Shades .
In films (and Rihanna songs) S and M are depicted using whips, chains, paddles, canes, belts, and even hot candle wax. Ouch ! It also includes physical markings of the session, like love bites, bruises, and welts. If you enjoy rough sex or a just a little of pain, this style of play can be fun to integrate into role-playing. Otherwise, you could just use it in addition to your usual sexual repertoire.
Domination and Submission
If you've ever acted out a sexual fantasy where one partner plays a powerful role and the other a submissive one, you've actually done some domination and submission play. Of the three concepts within the umbrella term of BDSM, domination and submission is the most emotional. In fact, some couples that enjoy it never physically interact with each other. Instead, they play out their dynamic via phone or Skype, chat, email, or other online platforms. (Consider this if you're in an LDR.) To go even further with this kind of kink, play out roles like high-class escort and client or naughty student and professor. 
No matter what kind of kink turns you on, make sure both partners consent and agree on the level of intensity before getting down.

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Laura Beck
Laura Beck is a Los Angeles-based TV writer and frequent contributor to Cosmopolitan.com — her work has appeared in the New York Times, New Yorker, Jezebel, and the Village Voice.


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1. He tips well. Generous people are generous everywhere. If he's only tipping 10 percent, he's not going down on you. I think that's in the Constitution.
2. He asks you your opinion, and he really listens to it. If he genuinely gives a crap about how you feel and what you think, those qualities will transfer to the bedroom. And the kitchen. And your home office desk. And the shower. And the backyard. Is it getting hot in here?
3. He's an experimental eater. If he's got a voracious and adventurous appetite when it comes to dinner, he probably has a voracious and adventurous appetite when it comes to bedroom shenanigans. You know what they say: The key to a lady's orgasm is through her man's stomach. (Right??)
4. He touches you a lot. This one is "duh" but if you're with a man who's apprehensive about even holding your hand, he's probably not equipped to love your body down.
5. He likes chocolate ice cream. Hey, you can't argue with pseudoscience . (Actually you can, but let's just go with it because chocolate ice cream is the best.)
6. He can dance. If he's got rhythm at da club, he's probably got rhythm on your own private dance floor (uh, that's your bed). Bonus points if he dances with kids at weddings, but not because of a sex thing — just because that is so damn adorable.
7. He's respectful to all women. Guys who are shitty to women are just bad news in general, and you can be damn sure they're terrible in bed because they don't care about the ladies. If your man has a great relationship with his mom, buys his sisters' birthday gifts, and has lady friends who adore him? That is a dude who is gonna give you multiple orgasms, guaranteed. (And then sometimes bring you flowers the next day. Nothing wrong with that!)
8. He doesn't brag. Dudes who tell tall tales outside of the bedroom usually have major shortcomings within it. Also, if he gets braggadocious about past sexual conquests, it's almost 100 percent certain he's gonna suck in bed. As the biblical saying goes: "Those who do, do. Those who can't, talk mad shit and then finish on your face."
9. He looks at you. I mean really looks at you. Like, a lot of time. If you're stuffing pizza in your maw and your man is staring at you like you're a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model wrapped in a pizza and holding a bottomless IPA, he's probably gonna carry that enthusiasm into bed.
10. He smells amazing. Smell is a huge thing when it comes to attraction, so if you can't get enough of your man's scent, you're gonna go HAM on him when you two are alone.
11. He's flexible. Not physically (though that doesn't hurt), but he's not too set in his ways. Being good in bed requires improvisation — some people like certain things and other people like the opposite of those things. You don't want to be with a robot who only understands how to have sex in a certain way or his robot brain explodes. You need a dude who can go with the flow and switch things up until you two find the perfect rhythm.
12. He likes to work out. More stamina, baby! Which means he has what it takes to work as hard as necessary to get the job done. His creed: Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays your fit man from the swift completion of your orgasm.
13. He's had some adversity in his life. Guys who are too good-looking or too often praised for whatever reason get complacent. You want a dude who's had some difficulties in his life to know what it's like to work for something (something = your G-spot).


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