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People Are Opening Up About Sex Through #MyFirstTime
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Before it's happened, our first time having sex can feel like a really big, hyped up thing. We're taught a lot about having sex for the first time — that it's special, that it's not special, that it should be saved, or that it shouldn't be. Ultimately, the first time you have sex should be on your terms, and whether that means it's a really big and special moment, or it's just another day, that's totally up to you. What we can say for sure is that everyone's first time is different, and a recent hashtag on Twitter shows just that.
#MyFirstTime is a collection of people's first times having sex, first kisses, first time masturbating, and much, much more. Some people used the opportunity to make pretty good jokes, while others got real about their feelings on their first sexual encounter. But if one thing is clear from the hashtag, it's that there are a lot of different ways to get busy for the first time — and they're all totally valid.
Below, we rounded up some of the best tweets about #MyFirstTime.
Many people tweeted about how their first time having sex was underwhelming.
Or that things didn't go quite as expected.
Some people had what could be described as a disastrous outcome to their first time.
While others seemed to think what happened to them was embarrassing, while it's actually totally normal.
And when we're talking about our first times, it doesn't always mean sex, or vaginal intercourse. Some people tweeted about their first kiss, their first time using a vibrator, and their first time experimenting with anal sex.
Others seemed to be talking about one thing, while they really meant another.
Ultimately, whatever your first experience with sex or self-love is, it's important that you feel empowered in making that choice.
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‘My husband’s death was a shock and left me numb, unable to fathom physical intimacy’
‘A year on, I decided to spend a dirty weekend with an ex.’ Illustration: Lo Cole/The Guardian
Last modified on Thu 16 Apr 2020 10.43 BST
I was in my late 30s when my husband of seven years died unexpectedly. He had been unwell for years, but not terminally ill, so his death was a shock and left me numb, unable to fathom physical intimacy. Several months after losing him, I could have put my hand on the hob and not felt a thing.
Seven months on, a confused Adonis 12 years my junior followed me around like a puppy on my summer travels, and it dawned on me that a second chance at a fulfilling sex life was mine for the taking. I was flooded with guilt: my husband and I had enjoyed natural intimacy from the start, but over the years our sex life had waned considerably as his physical and mental health issues increased. Miraculously, our sex life experienced a renaissance the month before his death.
A year on, I decided to spend a dirty weekend with an ex with whom I’d had electric sexual chemistry but zero romantic interest. He’d reached out to offer condolences, and I ended up visiting him in the picturesque European village where he’d relocated, joking with friends that I was a sex tourist and he’d “pop my widow cherry”.
My life in sex: the partner of a man with erectile dysfunction
After that, the floodgates opened. I had sex several times a week with half a dozen different partners, all met online, most younger than me by between five and 15 years.
Now, having met a wonderful man with whom I envisage a future, I’m finding old habits die hard. After everything that’s happened, I’m questioning whether monogamy is still for me.
Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com
Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussions remains on the topics raised by the article. Please be aware that there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
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