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Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.
Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.
Thank you for your cooperation.
The Mod Team
33 posts • Page 4 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
BrotherHobo wrote:This is not to say that women don't go into detail in stories that involve sex, because obviously they do, but somehow it's the attitude of the story. For instance, any time anybody uses the word "cum" in any sort of story about sex, my #######4 alarm goes off loudly.
BrotherHobo wrote:Some people have a strong desire to talk to others about "fantasy" sex, especially people who have fantasies about sexual activities that are illegal or of which society strongly disapproves. Obviously, somebody sexually attracted to children can't speak about it openly without couching the conversation in a lot of crocodile tears ("Oh, this compulsion for little girl's panties is so awful, I lay awake at night torturing myself with guilt, why can't I be free of this horrible compulsion. Anybody else feel the same way?")
It sort of reminds me of someone who starts out a story like "I have this friend who needs advice . . ."
BrotherHobo wrote: I have some young relatives by marriage who were rescued from an abusive home. Their father was an idiot and had a relationship with a young woman who had been sexually abused by her father. She was never happy with a regular, adult relationship and frequently provoked her husband into fights and arguments. They had two children, a boy and a girl. After the parents split up, the woman moved to a town next to a military base, and essentially started having serial relationships with soldiers she picked up in bars. They would stay for a few months, then get transferred to Iraq, and another soldier would take his place. Apparently, she allowed the soldiers to sexually abuse the kids and encouraged the children to think of performing fellatio on an adult as normal. As punishment, she frequently violated the boy by inserting the handle of a hairbrush (!) into his rectum. The little girl was so socialized to abuse that even after they were rescued and brought into my relative's home, she would sit in the laps of men she did not know at all, and her step-mother frequently caught her wearing a dress with no underwear on. One time she was caught giving a neighborhood boy a blow job in her closet. Her parents constantly watch her because she is so sexually precocious. Now a very sweet young teenager, she makes straight A's in school, but her parents have to practically accompany her everywhere because she will have sex with boys (or men) practically anywhere and under any circumstances. Both the kids have had years of therapy, but in the girl's case it doesn't seem to be working very well.
People can survive awful things, but sometimes it seriously damages them.
-------
Sorry for my English, Im not a native.
by RektuiesCatinPace » Wed Feb 11, 2015 8:53 am
If this isn't a troll post, no, you're not crazy. Everyone likes sex, it's normal that you would enjoy it too even at such a young age. That doesn't mean it was okay though, it's still abuse and I sense bits of Stockholm Syndrome based on how fondly you talk about him.
toosober wrote:some to brag about how immoral they might be
by seabreezeblue » Wed Feb 11, 2015 10:00 am
I'm going to lock this thread as it seems to be difficult to keep everyone on track.
Also, confused94 hasn't been around since the first post was made.
Confused94; if you come back and read this then please do start a new thread and let us know how you are.
Best wishes
Sbb..
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..
33 posts • Page 4 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
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This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 1 week ago by hop.
26th October 2020 at 5:34 pm #115664
Night after night I have the grossest incest dreams you could ever imagine. Not just with the perpetrator different family members. I’m doing so well trying to keep my head above the water but it’s so hard. I’m getting a bit confused over if things have really happened or not. I feel like everything I say is a lie. There’s someone coming in the week I think it’s to help me because I’m having a crisis but sometimes this things go all wrong and it’s social care saying I’m too mad to look after my own children. I feel very wary and I’m not really sure of things. I do know I feel like a terrible mother who cant look after my own kids. I feel tormented by decades old and decades of abuse. I’m worried about not being good enough. And I feel ashamed that I’m not good enough. My ex is there helping out every time I need him and I feel like I was probably wrong about him too. There’s times I couldn’t have gone on without his help with my youngest. (Its not a situation where I’m going back). I dont know but i feel confused and tired
27th October 2020 at 8:14 pm #115725
How are you since posting? I hope it helped to offload to us. I am sorry to hear how difficult things are at the moment. I hope the person coming to see you this week offers support to you and your children. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, take each day as it comes and lean on the support available.
Keep posting to us, we are here for you.
28th October 2020 at 12:14 pm #115750
Nothing much has changed. I get no rest at night and all day …..I’m just not acting normal. It’s like I’ve turned a corner and forgotten how to. I feel like I don’t know who I am again and that maybe I was wrong about my feelings and I dont know….I’m trying to be strong but everything seems to be never ending
28th October 2020 at 7:37 pm #115763
You must be feeling exhausted, sounds like you are doubting yourself but I am sure you are right about everything. You have been through so much, please stay strong, you can get through this.
30th October 2020 at 9:47 am #115826
The dr thinks those feelings of doubt will go again once I start having therapy again. It is so exhausting. I’m doubting everything.
12th November 2020 at 11:42 pm #116330
What you are describing is just how i was feeling a few years back ….on the edge of madness and feeling I was the bad one….
You are not mad or bad!
What was done to you was mad and Bad .
I hope and pray you can talk to a therapist soon. It is a great help.
I will help you make sense of what is happening to you.
Please know you are not alone ans it will get better xx
13th November 2020 at 10:42 pm #116352
Hi FF, so sorry to read you are struggling again. You are good enough, you are always enough, even when you feel you are not and have nothing to give – you are still enough; if only you could feel this hey. I used to feel this way in my twenties, in a constant state of feeling not good enough and that I was going mad at times, it’s awful. The way forward for me was to learn who I am, I developed a strong sense of ‘self identity’. When we are abused in childhood we never develop this, it’s like we have no foundation from which to grow in a healthy way; we learn only to mistrust. The good news is this time has now passed, you are an adult now and are not that powerless little girl anymore, you are woman with choices.
Hang in there flower and get the help you need. Chances are it feels much bigger inside, hidden, that it’s too complex to workout; it often feels because it’s always been like this there is only more of the same, because you haven’t got to that place yet, the place where all is ok in the world, a place where you feel ok to be me. It is infornt of you, if you reach for this. Therapy is the best place to help you workout who you are, become who you already are really – without the demons.
If you’re interested have a look into what is self identity. It’s what helps us with personal boundaries too x
13th November 2020 at 10:51 pm #116353
Also, google ‘The Paradoxical Theory of change’ –
“This theory can be summarised as: change occurs when a person becomes what they are, not when they try to become what they are not. In other words, we can’t make ourselves or anyone change in line with some ideal, but we will naturally change in an organic, meaningful and orderly way when we allow ourselves and others to be as we and they truly are”.
15th November 2020 at 11:04 am #116379
Thanks symphony and fizzy. These feelings are so overwhelming. I dont think I’ve ever known who I am. I’ve been told I’m a liar and a thief since I was little by someone who lied his way through stealing my childhood and any semblance of a real life I might ever have had. The things I look at are so disturbing but but somehow it gives me comfort. I need to speak to someone about it because with every peek into the dark I lose a bit of me. I’ll have a look at those things fizzy. Thank you both x*x
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