Forgetful Pope Forgets Feast Days, Declares �Feast Week� Instead

After missing two major saint feasts in a row, the Forgetful Pope decreed a �Feast Week,� allowing all saints to be celebrated in rolling batches. Parishes now host potlucks, trivia, and incense relays. The Pope said, �Heaven�s not picky. They�ll share the cake.� Bulletin calendars now read: �This Week in Saints�Probably.� Faith communities say it�s more fun, less pressure. One priest asked, �Can I bless leftovers from last year?� Leo nodded.