Forced Orgasm How To
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Forced Orgasm How To
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If you've never heard of a forced orgasm before, the name can understandably be confusing AF. Why would anyone have to "force" an orgasm to happen, when it's already the gd best feeling ? Isn't it the same as saying "forced eating all the cheese cubes at a party," or "forced eye contact with a puppy?"
Well, here's the big reveal: A forced orgasm doesn't actually require real force or anything you don't consent to. It's actually most commonly part of BDSM play, where a submissive "doesn't want" to orgasm, but is made to anyway by their dominant partner.
This can be included in everything from an elaborate role play fantasy (i.e. you're a superhero captured and restrained by a villain who's "punishing" you by making you turned on and/or climax), to routine dirty talk with your partner (i.e. asking them if you have permission to orgasm, which they can deny until you can't take it anymore. )
The overarching theme here is that, even though you're playing the role of a submissive, this is for you and your pleasure. A partner should never be pressuring you to have a forced orgasm if that's not your thing. Like we already said, consent has to be a part of this for it to work and feel good.
If you're really into the idea of playing with these power dynamics, here are some things you can do:
1. Talk consent and safe words before anything else.
As with any sex act, consent is key, but it's especially important when you might be tied up/gagged/in an even more vulnerable position than usual. This is something you want to do with someone you trust —no exceptions.
Like with all BDSM play, safe words come highly, highly recommended here, especially since some of the lines you might say during a forced orgasm are "no" but you do actually mean "plz keep going." So, pick a term that's short and easy to say that wouldn't otherwise be plausible in the scenario (like, "lemon" or "pineapple").
2. Potentially plan out scenarios ahead of time.
This is optional, but especially if it's your first time, it can feel empowering to give your partner a script for exactly how you want this to go. This can range from "don't let me come until I'm begging you like crazy," to a detailed play-by-play of them giving you a massage, tying you up, going down on you, and then pounding away. This is your forced orgasm—you make the rules here!
Again, not required, but recommended: The fantasy of a forced orgasm can feel just a little more real if you're restrained in some way. Whether you use a scarf or belt you have lying around at home, grab some supes affordable bondage tape , or invest in a bondage kit , being tied down can also free up your partner to do everything they (re: you) want.
Once more, this is not a necessity, but a "why the hell not?" kind of thing. Having your boo press a Magic Wand against your vulva or controlling a vibrator harness can be so much fun. Or, if you have a penis, throwing masturbators or butt plugs into the mix can also be a great addition to a hot BDSM-style sesh.
Whichever way you decide to embark on forced orgasms is up to you–just stick with what you and your partner are comfortable with. Now go on and get off!
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Home / Wellness / Mens Health / 7 Types Of Male Orgasms (And How To Achieve Them)
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During intercourse, as a man nears orgasm, his pelvic thrusts become less voluntary and more automatic, and the muscles of the penis begin to contract rhythmically in order to eject semen from the urethra.
When an orgasm begins, heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration all increase. The orgasm marks the final stage of the arousal response in men. What most men don’t know is that there are other types of male orgasms , which most guys never experience:
This is one of the general types of male orgasms that many men experience every time they have sex. It doesn’t require much effort on your part to achieve it and it results in the ejaculation of your sperm. There is literally no control over pelvic thrusting or when you reach this orgasm unless you work to control it.
Men can actually learn to hold their orgasm and send the energy rushing back into their pelvic region simply by practicing. Self-control is largely an untaught trick in the area of sexual satisfaction, but it really can provide a more intense and pleasurable orgasm if you learn to do it correctly. If you would like to feel a pelvic orgasm you have to relax your mind and control your bodily functions prior to orgasm. Hold back your ejaculation and send it back through your body for a full pelvic orgasm.
In a condition called retrograde ejaculation, the bladder’s sphincter does not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen spurts backward into the bladder. This condition is usually found in some men who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or after some types of prostate surgery. It can also occasionally occur in men who do not have any serious problems. It is not physically harmful, but it does render the man infertile and he may have a different sensation during ejaculation. A retrograde ejaculation is also known as a “dry come” because the man may experience orgasm, but no semen is released from the penis.
On either side of the prostate are nerves that control erections. These nerves can be stimulated through prostate touching and stroking. This orgasm is conjured by consistently stimulating the prostate gland either with a finger or through a toy. Men can achieve this orgasm only when they are fully relaxed and into the stimulation.
The whole body orgasm stimulates both nerve pathways that are connected to the pelvic region. Once both the pelvic and the spinal regions are fully engaged you will experience a blended orgasm that fully stimulates your entire body. If you want to feel the most amazing sensation you could ever imagine then this is the orgasm you want to experience. You can engage both sensations by getting both penis and prostate stimulation.
These types of male orgasms are full body orgasms without touching. They use your breath and muscle contractions to generate orgasmic energy that flows through your body, resulting in male ejaculation.
Most men usually have a refractory period (time in between each orgasm) to deal with—which lasts 30 minutes or more on average. But yes, men can orgasm again and again without having to cool down.
Having multiple orgasms during sex and foreplay is 10x harder, but once you can do it, here’s how to have multiple orgasms during sex.
Before you can have multiple orgasms, you need to get yourself to a certain level of ejaculatory control.
You should be comfortable masturbating for 10+ minutes with constant stimulation (not having to stop and start a ton of times).
Without that kind of control, you won’t be able to slowly bring yourself up to the point of having a multiple orgasms, and you definitely won’t be able to keep yourself right at that threshold.
If you can’t easily do that, start with the article on how to last longer in bed.
Having a multiple orgasm works by getting to the point of orgasm, and then flexing your PC muscle hard enough to block the ejaculate from actually escaping.
But most men have a weak PC muscle, even if they can normally last a long time in bed, so you’ll need to…
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By Gabrielle Kassel Published: May 24, 2021
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She's become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and worn her vaginal ~essence~ as perfume— all in the name of journalism. In addition to Cosmopolitan, her work has appeared on Well & Good, Health, Shape, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more. In her free time, Gabrielle can be found reading romance novels, bench-pressing, or yep, pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
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Sounds like an oxymoron, but can actually be part of a really fun (consensual) role-play scenario.
Forced orgasm may sound like oxymoronic hyperbole. Why would you have to force someone to experience a rush of toe-curling, back-arching pleasure that most of us wish we achieved more often?! (*Side-eying selfish exes everywhere*). But forced orgasms are indeed A Thing™.
“Forced orgasms are the name for the climatic releases experienced by someone who has consensually relinquished control during sexual play,” explains psychologist and sex therapist Megan Fleming, PhD, resident sexpert with LoveHoney.com . The key word here: consensually. The catch is that while these orgasms are dubbed "forced orgasms," nobody is actually forcing anyone else to orgasm. (When someone is actually forced to perform any sex act against their will, that is sexual assault. That’s not what we’re talking about here).
Common in the wonderful world of BDSM , forced orgasms can support a role-play scene, fulfill a fantasy, or satiate a desire, depending on the pleasure-seekers' choice to play with power, says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy. In a Dominant/submissive relationship, for example, a submissive might consent to be "forced" to orgasm over and over (and over!) again from whatever stimulation the Dominant chooses, explains sex educator Kenneth Play , Founder of Hacienda Villa , an international sex-positive community.
A forced orgasm could also be used to enhance a (pre-negotiated!) role-play scene between an “Abductor” and “Damsel in Distress,” for example. The “Abductor” might tie the “Damsel” to the bed, and then make them climax “against their will” as part of the scenario.
Don't worry if you've never dabbled in BDSM territory: Forced orgasms can be something fun for anyone to try, as long as you thoroughly discuss the setup beforehand. Asking your partner, "Can I cum?" or saying, "Wait until I give you permission to cum" can transition a regular O into forced O territory, according to Fleming. *Oprah voice*: You get a forced orgasm, and you get a forced orgasm…
Whether you and your boo have Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey vibes or are typically more into the vanilla side of the sex spectrum, it's natural to be intrigued by the idea of a forced O. Read on to find 6 tips for exploring these control-less climaxes, suitable to all (s)experience levels.
Do you have a partner in crime pleasure for this little sexploration? There’s only one way to find out: Ask!
How you ask will depend on how subtle you are, or would like to be. One option Fleming recommends is to send your S.O. the link to this article with a low-key note. For example: "Read this article and thought this might be fun to play with sometime. Give it a look and lmk what you think." (If you arrived here via a link-share, welcome!).
A second option is to explain why you’re interested in forced orgasms from the get-go. Try something like, "Baby, you know how we love role-playing professor/college student? I was thinking next time incorporating a forced orgasm could help enhance the scene and make it even hotter for both of us," to get even more explicit.
Play notes that if watching porn is something you and your partner typically do together, your third option is to watch something together. If you stumble upon a forced orgasm scene, he says, you can use that as a jumping-off point. “Just ask if they think it’s a turn on or turn off, or something that might want to try in real life,” says Play.
In detail , babes! Discussing the scenario, down to the bondage positions you might want to explore, can actually make the whole thing even hotter. Doing so will also eliminate the confusion of who's giving and who's receiving the forced O’s—an important detail to settle beforehand.
Beyond that, prepping also gives you time to stock up on pre-requisite props and pleasure products (more on that below). Negotiating your scene also helps set boundaries, while ensuring the most pleasurable experience for all involved. “You want to figure out what toys you’ll use, if any, to help,” says Fleming. “You also want to figure out if you’ll stop after a certain number of orgasms, or when the submissive partner uses their safe word.” (PS: If you can’t agree on what the scene is going to look like, don’t do it in the first place.)
Speaking of safe words…yes, you need one! Safe words, ICYDK, are pre-established words that anyone involved in a sex-sesh can say/utter/scream to stop play. “They are the quickest way to let your partner know you’ve reached your threshold of pain or pleasure, or that a boundary has been crossed,” says Sparks.
While good to have for all kinds of sex (including missionary), safe words are especially important for kinky play. As Play says, “With greater risk comes responsibility, and a greater need for a safe word.” Common safe words, random as they may sound, include giraffe, pineapple, banana, and unicorn. Basically, any word that you wouldn’t otherwise say mid-hookup is fair-game.
Oh, and if one or all of you are going to have something in your mouth at any point in the scene (for example, a ball gag, penis, or finger), Sparks says you should also establish a non-verbal safe word. “The safe signal may be to hold up one, two, or three fingers when you want to stop,” she says. Or, to pat your partner’s thigh three times.
As far as forced orgasm gear goes, Fleming says restraints and other bondage toys reign supreme. “Forced orgasms and restraints go together really well,” she says. Makes sense that it’d be wayyy easier to deliver a forced O when the receiver can’t move…
She recommends opting for a set of under-the-bed restraints which you can easily store away after use. Try the Liberator Bed Buckler or the SportSheets Under The Bed Restraint System .
Using a vibrator is optional (Your forced O, your rules). But if you’re planning on going for multiple forced orgasms, or playing with edging, Play recommends using at least one. “Vibrators are great labor-saving devices,” he says. In other words, these babies will save your hand and forearm muscles from cramping.
Hands aside, a vibe can also deliver sensation to your vulva, anus, penis, nipples, and any other erogenous zones in a way that fingers can't, notes Sparks. For penis stimulation, she recommends using a vibrating stroker like the HotOctopuss Pulse and Tenga Polygon Masturbator And for clitoral and/or vaginal stimulation, she recommends opting for the Zumio , or the Pillow Talk Cheeky Wand.
“Forced orgasms can cause a really intense endorphin and hormone rush,” says Fleming. Post-play, this can leave people feeling super vulnerable. (This sensation is often known as sub-drop and Dom-drop). That's where BDSM aftercare needs to come in.
“When the big event is over, you want to spend extra time tending to each other's emotional and physical needs,” she says. For some people that means cuddles and ordering Seamless, or for others that could mean taking a bath, or just drinking water.
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