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Crime
A 14-year-old girl in Chennai has alleged that her elder brother raped her on multiple occasions and warned her against informing their mother about the same.
An investigation revealed that the accused started raping his sister in December last year (Representative Image). | Photo Credit: Getty Images
On Sunday, a 15-year-old boy was sent to an observation home for allegedly raping his sister
The accused had been raping the 14-year-old girl since December last year
The 15-year-old boy has been booked under the POCSO Act
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Chennai : The police in Chennai arrested a 15-year-old boy on Sunday for allegedly raping his minor sister repeatedly. The accused tied his sister's hands and legs before performing the obscene act. He has been sent to an observation home.
The survivor is 14-years-old. The incident came to light when the girl opened up to her school friend and narrated her ordeal. After listening to the 14-year-old girl's plight, her friend contacted her parents and a complaint was lodged. The girl's mother has separated from her husband and is married to another man. The two siblings and their mother live with her second husband.
An investigation revealed that the accused started raping his sister in December last year. He allegedly used to sexually abuse the 14-year-old girl when they were alone at home. According to the police, the accused had raped the 14-year-old girl on multiple occasions.
The minor girl had stayed mum about the abuse as her brother had threatened her with dire consequences. After learning about the incident, the girl's family turned to the police and lodged a complaint against the accused.
The Villivakkam all-woman police station registered a complaint and took the two siblings for interrogation, The Times of India reported. After conducting the interrogation, the police booked the accused under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act.
In February this year, a five-month-old girl died after she was allegedly sexually assaulted by her cousin. The girl's cousin, identified as Pappu, allegedly took her away to play with her.
When Pappu did not return with the child for a long time, the girl's mother panicked and started searching for her. Meanwhile, the guests also started looking for Pappu but he could not be found anywhere. The minor girl, however, was found at a short distance from the venue. The girl was taken to the Vivekanand Hospital from where she was referred to the trauma centre. The girl succumbed to her injuries while treatment was being administered to her.
My son’s behaviour towards his sister and me is inappropriate
‘You may not have found porn on his computer, but that does not mean he hasn’t been exposed to it.’ Illustration: Lo Cole/The Guardian
My sister is being abused by her husband. What can I do?
Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning
© 2022 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. (modern)
Something is clearly going on with your son, and you need to find out what, says Annalisa Barbieri
My son is 12 and on the cusp of puberty. For the last six months, his behaviour towards me and his 15-year-old sister has become over sexualised and inappropriate . This has included making lewd remarks and suggestions to her. He often grabs her, or strokes her hair or arms. He does the same to me, using language that sounds like lyrics from suggestive love songs. When going to and from the bathroom, he exposes himself and makes lewd remarks.
We’ve made it clear we don’t like it and want him to stop. He laughs and says he didn’t mean it . He rarely behaves like this in front of his father (we all live together) . He goes to an all - boys school and I haven’t had reports of this there.
I’m at the end of my tether . I want to show him, in front of his sister, that his behaviour could be classed as criminal. I’ve tried punishments that we use for other poor behaviour. Sometimes this stops him temporarily. In general, he is quite an anxious, angry and unhappy person at home. I monitor his internet access and I haven’t found evidence he watches porn or adult content. He mostly uses it for gaming.
Teenagers often test the boundaries with their parents, but it’s not usual for boys to make suggestive sexual comments to female members of the family, and less usual still that they expose themselves. This is the age they tend to become more self-conscious and inhibited – so something is clearly going on with your son and you need to find out what.
I contacted Graham Music, a psychotherapist ( childpsychotherapy.org.uk ) who has worked extensively with children and adolescents – especially troubled ones – and has written several books on the subject .
We both wondered what your husband’s reaction to your son’s behaviour was – whether or not he witnesses it himself? He needs to be more involved than he seems to be. It’s important for men to call out inappropriate behaviour in other men, and that starts in the home.
Music said that, often, if children are experiencing something they cannot deal with, they will seek to make others feel what they are feeling. It’s as if they are throwing it out there to say, “This is what I’m dealing with.” So the child who feels shame may seek to make others ashamed, the child who feels left out rejects others, and so on. “You don’t often act out so overtly unless you’ve been exposed to something that’s been overwhelming,” explains Music.
You may not have found porn or adult content on his computer, but that does not mean he hasn’t been exposed to it. It is likely he will have seen something. He could have seen or heard something via gaming; get more involved (you and your husband) in what he does online, which is best done by showing an interest rather than hectoring.
The fact he’s angry and anxious worries me further. Was he always like this? Music asks: “How did your son deal with unhappiness as a child?”
I would also talk to the school to get a better picture of what’s going on there. “Is he being bullied, and is he bullying you and his sister in turn?” asked Music. Has he recently changed schools?
Music was also interested in the dynamics of your house: “Who else lives there, what else is going on there, what are the power dynamics between you and your husband?”
There was scant information in your letter and little curiosity about why your son is doing this. The key to stopping it is to understand why he’s doing it. “It could be sexual urges,” said Music, “or it could be he’s using the sexual as a language to enact something else, like asserting power.” How do you generally deal with feelings in the family? Are they allowed or are they buried? Your son might have noticed and enjoyed getting a reaction out of you. But, again, you need to look at why he feels this compulsion.
In the meantime, his behaviour must be addressed and your daughter told she can react to protect herself. “Boundaries and authority are essential,” says Music, “But you and your husband need to set those up together. Try to stop his behaviour and then work out why it’s happening. Your son needs to understand there are consequences, but you need to make space to think about why he’s doing this.”
Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a family-related problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Annalisa on a family matter, please send your problem to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com . Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms .
Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article. Please be aware that there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
By Audrey Fine Published: Mar 10, 2008
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"One day I was at the bus stop alone with this supercute guy who I really liked. I thought that he hated me, but boy was I so wrong! Well, we were just standing there getting bored, and before I knew it, he kissed me! I was in total shock and couldn't move or talk until the bus came! That sure was a great way to start off the day!"
"So, there was this girl Emily in my freshman class who was SO conceited. Seriously, she worshipped the ground she walked on. I didn't like her because she's the school slut, but everyone else seemed to think she was so nice. Well, I recently found out that she was addicted to drugs and sex. I felt so bad for not liking her after that."
"I went to the movies with an old friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friend. I thought her BF was really hot, and he must have thought I was too because he kept staring at me. Before the movie her BF said he wanted to buy us popcorn, so I went with him. Right before we went back into the theater, we started making out! Right at that moment, my friend walked out the door and saw us. She was so mad and didn't speak to me EVER again. Perhaps we should've picked a more private place to make out!"
"My parents and sister were out of the house one night, so I invited over this boy I had a crush on to watch a movie. There happened to be a thunderstorm that night, so right in the middle of the movie the power went out. I got up to get a flashlight in my closet, and when I got back, I tripped over one of my (many) shoes and landed on the bed right next to him! So we start kissing, you know, just the innocent stuff, but it quickly got steamier! Before we knew it, we heard my sister's car in the driveway, so I had to put on my shirt and he had to get his shoes on and make it to the back door in lightning speed! It was so devious!"
"Once when my parents went away for the weekend, my older sister had to baby-sit. Well, in the middle of night I found her in the pool with her boyfriend making out. It was going pretty far when my parents walked through the door! They asked me where my sister was, and I pointed outside. My mom caught them in the pool, so they never let her baby-sit again!"
"One day I was at my friend's house riding on her sister's skateboard when I crashed into her sister's puzzle. We tried putting it back together but couldn't, so she decided to lie and tell her mom the cat did it. I was totally against it and wanted to tell the truth, but I knew it risked our friendship. So her mom and sister still think the darn cat did it!"
"One day at school my friends and I were playing around with a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume spray during recess. A few of my friends had the bright idea that I go up and spray the perfume on my crush. Well, I did, but it went right into his eyes. Oh no!!! I could not believe it. He doesn't hate me, but he hasn't been paying much attention to me either — just in case I have another bottle of spray!"
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