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Nothing could be worse than having to feel the pain of forbidden love. Love is boundless and it is only human to feel emotions. We disregard situations, time, society, morality in the name of love but it’s the sheer honesty and madness of it that makes the love the most beautiful and delicate of human emotions. Empathy is the core of humanity and we humans understand and feel each other’s pain. Films about forbidden love have always been a feast for cinephiles which makes it for a very interesting topic for an article.
Needless to say this is a highly subjective list and the choice of movies might be controversial but then I believe that’s the fun of it all. With all that said now, here is a list of top movies about forbidden love of all time. These romance movies are based on taboo relationships. You can also watch these best taboo movies on Netflix or Hulu or Amazon Prime.
Most people dismiss ‘The Reader’ as a mediocre, Oscar-bait drama that’s nothing more than a skin show. I for one happen to love this film. It’s deeply flawed and may come off as a bit of a drag at times but just too beautiful and humane to dismiss. The film depicts the complex sexual relationship between a teenage kid and a woman in her mid 30s. Kate Winslet is stunning in her role as a woman struggling to deal with her inner demons and deeply torn by her shameful past. Watch it for its delicate rendering of humanity.
Bernardo Bertolucci’s controversial drama explores the disturbing relationship between a mother and her son. Joe, a teenager, has a troubled relationship with his parents and after his mother’s husband commits suicide, he moves along with her to Rome. However, the boy’s emotional troubles begin to take a toll on him and he begins to use drugs. In order to free him from the web of addiction, his mother grows increasingly closer to him which develops into a sexual relationship. The film as a whole doesn’t hold up well but the incestuous part is done in a very effective manner.
How, in our world, could the love story of a 20-year-old man and an 80-year-old woman be not a case of forbidden love? Hal Ashby’s black comedy romantic drama centres around a young man obsessed with death who frequently attends funerals and stages fake suicides and grows increasingly detached from his mother. While romance might not seem to be the thematic focus of the film, the complex relationship between Harold and Maude is essential to understanding the sheer profoundness of the themes it deals with. They are two different worlds whose starkly contrasting perspectives on life form the core of the film. It might seem a bit bizarre and twisted for a certain audience but it has aged incredibly well and feels thoroughly refreshing and original.
I haven’t been the biggest fan of ‘The Graduate’ except for its ending which, in my opinion, is one of the finest ever in cinema. It’s quite difficult to relate to a coming-of-drama that’s more than 50 years old. But there are some amazing moments in the film that still hold up well and manage to move me tremendously. ‘The Graduate’ was a trendsetting phenomenon that changed the way coming-of-dramas were made. The feeling of angst and sexual tension felt by Benjamin is palpable. He is seduced by the wife of his father’s business partner but ends up falling in love with her daughter. As I said, it might not hold up well for the modern audiences but it’s still an incredible experience and an absolute fun ride.
Arguably one of Stanley Kubrick‘s more underrated works, ‘Lolita’ tells the story of a middle aged man deeply infatuated with a gorgeous teenage girl. Adapted from Vladimir Nokobov’s novel of the same title, ‘Lolita’ generated controversy due to its bold subject and was panned by critics. Kubrick infuses a dark, perverse sense of humour that works brilliantly with its chaotic, often flippant narrative. The Censor Board back in the day had severe limitations and so Kubrick had to compromise on certain aspects of the film which were highly bold and provocative for its time which kind of affects the film on a thematic level. Nevertheless it’s still an immensely fascinating film made by a filmmaker who would change cinema in the years to come.
Do we love a person because of their physicality? No, not really as Spike Jonze made us believe that you could actually fall in love with an operating system too. Set in a futuristic world, ‘Her’ tells the story of Theodore Twombly; a lonely, divorced man who purchases an artificially intelligent operating system and develops an intimate relationship with it. There’s a very profound sense of irony here as ‘Her’, despite being set in an unknown time in the future, is very much a film about today. We are often cruel to ourselves and struggle with our own identity in an unsparing world. Love here is way too abstract for any kind of physical embodiment. It’s incredibly touching and so deeply humane.
‘Boys Don’t Cry’ is a harrowing look at repressed sexuality and gender identity. The film is based on the real life story of Brandon Teena, an American trans man who was brutally raped and killed in Nebraska. Brandon, played by Hillary Swank, adopts a male identity and moves to Nebraska where he falls in love with Lana. They remain lovers in spite of Lana discovering Brandon’s true identity. Their romance is painful and uncertain as violence consumes their blissful but brief and fleeting span of time. If your idea of powerful cinema happens to be one that has the power to devastate and disturb you emotionally, then this is your kind of film.
‘The Ballad of Jack and Rose’ is a beautifully flawed film about the painful delicacies of human relationships. The great Daniel Day-Lewis plays Jack, a farmer with a heart condition who lives with his daughter who is isolated from the world outsider her home. When Jack brings in his girlfriend, Kathleen and her teenage sons home, his daughter begins to develop jealousy towards his partner. When he discovers that she had sex with Kathleen’s son, he is infuriated but is deeply torn when he realises that she is in love with him. It’s a beautifully made drama that occasionally tends to drift and meander but manages to strike a chord in you because of the sheer warmth and humanity that it brings in.
This wouldn’t seem surprising at all. Ang Lee‘s heart-wrenching cowboy romance is quite simply one of the most astonishing tales of forbidden love. Jack and Ennis spend their time together in the Wyoming mountains during the summer and develop a very passionate sexual and emotional relationship with each other. They are portrayed as outcasts and they live in a cruel, judgemental world where feelings and desires are repressed. The film beautifully captures the angst, the verve, the passion and pain of love. Undoubtedly a film for the ages.
Iranian director Majid Majidi is a very special filmmaker. There’s an astonishing sense of warmth and simplicity in his cinema that makes it so endearing and charming. ‘Baran’ is one of his best works. It tells the story of a 17 year old boy who works on a construction site where he falls in love with an Afghan refugee girl who is disguised as a boy so that she can work at the site. Only the boy knows the secret as he covertly watches her from behind her room to get a glimpse of her real beauty. They do not get to talk to each other but strongly contain their feelings for each other. Majid Majidi masterfully captures every single detail here that contributes to the beauty of the story.
This is the film I show people when they say that Martin Scorsese is a very unemotional director. Few love stories have been as emotionally devastating and brutally painful as ‘The Age of Innocence’. It tells the story of Newland Archer; a young, ambitious lawyer, engaged to woman from a highly respected family. However, things change when Archer falls in love with his finacee’s cousin, Ellen. Their repressed emotions intensify the passion and intimacy of their relationship, making their eventual fate a deeply tragic one. It’s brutal, inexplicably painful and too powerful to even talk about.
Arguably the most controversial film on the list, ‘Ma Mere’ is easily the most disturbing and unwatchable film about incest ever made. The film features the great Isabelle Huppert playing an incestuous mother, obsessed with sex who asks her son to have sex with her. They make violent love as Helene asks her son to physically hurt her by cutting her abdomen and as his masturbation reaches its climax, she slits her own throat. The film is blatantly provocative and for the most part, plain unwatchable but you just fail to take your eyes off from an explosive Isabelle Huppert who is in top form here.
This Hungarian gem is a criminally underrated drama that explores a poignant incestuous relationship between an estranged brother and sister. The film possesses a dark tone that reflects the unusual relationship between its characters but it doesn’t tend to exploit the provocative nature of the story. There’s a sense of lurking danger felt throughout the movie but the way it portrays the way it portrays its characters and their relationship make us empathize with them rather than trying to put us off with blatant emotional manipulation.
Todd Haynes’ ‘Carol’ is quite simply one of the most beautiful films about what it feels like to fall in love. These are two people dying to fall in each other’s arms, yearning for a sense of emotional liberation from the clutches of a cold society. Therese is a shy, young girl who isn’t happy with her boyfriend. Carol is a wealthy, middle aged mother on the verge of a divorce. These are two people in different phases of life, from a different strata of society but the world around them is cold and indifferent to their feelings and desires and this is where they meet. With an amazing cast and a nuanced script, Haynes crafts a timeless story of love so full of warmth and humanity.
When people say European cinema, the names most often mentioned are Andrei Tarkovsky, Ingmar Bergman, Jean Luc-Godard, Luis Bunuel, Michael Haneke and so on and so forth. But Krzysztof Kieslowski‘s name is oftentimes sadly overlooked and in my humble opinion he’s right up there with the aforementioned greats as one of the finest auteurs European cinema has ever produced. He had this ability to get so deeply personal and intimate that leaves you soaked in a plethora of emotions.
‘A Short Film About Love’ was the cinematic extension of the sixth episode of his highly acclaimed Television drama ‘Dekalog’ and was one of his underappreciated works. Teenage angst and sexual infatuation have never been portrayed so beautifully in cinema as Kieslowski paints the madness, the enigma, the ecstasy, the melancholy of a human emotion so delicate yet so profound and magical to be put into words. I wouldn’t give away much of the film here as it’s a film that means so much to me. It’s sad, painfully truthful yet intoxicating.
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Incest. The word itself is enough to make us squirm in our seats or twitch our noses. The idea of being sexually involved with the family members — people in consanguinity or those related by affinity is despicable to most people. But some find it enticing and erotic, irrespective of the acceptable moral standards at stake. However, morality is not the only roadblock that thwarts the desires of two people burning with the flames of ‘incestuous love’. There are many countries where the legality has also prohibited such relations.
In some countries, incest is punishable by the death penalty, such as in Brunei, Iran, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, the United Arab Emirates, and Sudan. In the United States, incest is a statutory crime with the exception of two-three states. However, there are a few countries where it is legal. For example — in Spain and Russia, consensual incest is fully legal. It is also legal in some other countries like Argentina, Brazil, India, the Ivory Coast, Japan, Latvia, South Korea, Thailand, and Turkey. But the abhorrence of incest is fairly universal, transcending all national and religious boundaries.
But, history has a different tale to tell. Many erstwhile instances of incest in royal families make us mull over the propensity towards incest as a natural or human occurrence. Close-kin marriages — between fathers and daughters and between siblings — were certainly known in Egypt, right up to and including Cleopatra, who married two of her brothers consecutively. The Spanish Habsburgs, who ruled for nearly 200 years, frequently married among close relatives. If we were to believe in the fable of Adam and Eve, we would have to accept that the entire race was a product of incest because for the world to populate incestuous activity had to take place. Sigmund Freud coined an entirely separate term called the Oedipus complex after Oedipus, the king of Thebes, who according to Greek mythology, unwittingly killed his father and married his mother. As per his theory, the Oedipus complex occurs during the phallic stage of psycho-sexual development and involves a boy, aged between three and six, becoming unconsciously sexually attached to his mother, and hostile towards his father.
Whether the royal families were only trying to perpetuate their royal lineage and protect their assets by ensuring the sharing of riches and privileges among their relatives, or there was a deep affectionate connection driving these bonds is a conundrum. But these episodes suggest that the connection of human beings with incest is not just artificial insemination of information in the minds of modern beings. And we can’t deny these associations, however depraved they might be.
A common justification for prohibiting incest is avoiding inbreeding. Some studies have revealed that the children of parents with a close genetic relationship have elevated risk for congenital disorders, death, and developmental and physical disability. But this can’t be the only reason for the universal taboo. The suppression of erotic bonding among the people who spend their formative years together is explained by a different psycho-social mechanism, called the Westermarck effect.
And it is believed that the adults who fail to be together in their early life and meet first as adults are ‘victims’ to the GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) syndrome. Gonyo’s book on GSA, “I’m His Mother, But He’s Not My Son”, suggests that GSA is a result of a ‘delayed by-product of missed bonding’ which would have taken place between a mother and her new-born infant. As uncommon or unscrupulous the cases of incest may be, it seems that proclaiming the consenting adults with GSA as ‘freaks’ or ‘sickos’ may be too harsh and judgmental.
Needless to say, not everyone’s childhood is a fairy dream. The lives of many children are afflicted with the trauma of belligerence, hatefulness, domestic violence, and atrocities between their parents. They may grow in a conservative family that places restrictions on women. They may have to witness failed marriages, resulting in a divorce or practically estranged parents. In some of these cases, one of the parents, mostly the mothers automatically funnel their emotions towards their sons. This emotional dependence may surpass the appropriate boundaries of intimacy. The son may visualize himself as his mother’s knight in shining armor. And consider himself responsible for the fulfillment of her needs. While in some other cases, a broken family may push two siblings closer than they ought to be. They may find solace in each other’s company and try to explore their happiness, even their sexuality together. This, combined with the raging teen hormones is enough to blur any sense of social righteousness. A teenager, who is boiling with hormones and unable to venture outside to satisfy his sexual inquisitiveness may try to search for answers within his home. Proximity to the opposite sex at home, in the absence of proper guidance, may lead to unabashed sexual encounters.
While speaking of incest, any kind of sexual assault, child abuse, or rape is a ghastly criminal activity. And in no way, should it be condoned. But the proponents of incest draw clear boundaries between the behavior of consenting adults and molestation. According to one incest participant who was quoted for an article in a daily, “You can’t help who you fall in love with, it just happens. I fell in love with my sister and I’m not ashamed … I only feel sorry for my mom and dad, I wish they could be happy for us. We love each other. Of course, we’re consenting, that’s the most important thing. We’re not fucking perverts. What we have is the most beautiful thing in the world.” They are unapologetic, unabashed, but most importantly, helpless. Their emotions, if not nipped in the bud, get beyond their control.
Fighting a constant battle with guilt and irreplaceable feelings is not easy. Especially, when society degrades someone to the point of being an abnormal wanton, unaware of virtuosity. The widespread aversion makes them question themselves multiple times, beat them up for being different. But they are unable to comprehend why something so inappropriate seems so right, so beautiful to them.
For a moment, if we dissolve the relationship labels that differentiate our rapport with others, we all are just human beings with a wide spectrum of feelings and traits. All of us have the basic anatomy of what makes us look like people. If we are attracted to a range of people, it is also possible that our friends and family members can be attracted to those traits. It is only through the sheer enforcement of what society deems acceptable, that we as individuals can choose to have relationships with some and not with others.
It cannot be argued that incestuous relationships can lead to pregnancy with a higher probability of birth disorders. And that may justify its illegal status in many jurisdictions. But on a human level, it poses a question to all of us. The human race has a history of shattering social conventions on so many levels which no one thought to violate in the past. We have always floated on the waves of right and wrong as we progressed, emerging victorious over various social norms. And eventually, we have earned freedom time and again. Freedom to practice our rights as long as we don’t harm anyone. So, should we be overly critical of two people who are in love because it is morally unacceptable to the society as we live in today? Of course, it’s our choice to renounce any relationship that repulses us. And in no way should such relations be deliberately fostered. But should we disgrace those who choose otherwise to the limit that they drown in guilt and shame?
One way is to counsel these people about the possible repercussions of what path they have chosen. But if they
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