For The Love Of Boobs

For The Love Of Boobs

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A new survey explains why everybody loves boobs.
Do you like boobs? I know you’re nodding your head. Well, guess what–it turns out women do too, allegedly even as much as men . Yeah. In an interesting turn of events, science has shown that women enjoy looking at bodacious bosoms just as much as men do. Surprise!
This claim came about thanks to a post on Quora , when someone posted a question asking why men are obsessed with breasts. Because they totally are, right?
One member answered the question by quoting sexologist Alfred Kind, who believes that the primary sexual site of attraction in humans is the booty, and men love boobs because cleavage and butt-cracks look pretty similar. This suggests that you should flaunt your backside to your lady, fellas, because she loves dat ass.
Another user commented that Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá say in their book, Sex At Dawn , that people are hot for boobs because they signify the sexual availability of a person. In an evolutionary sense, that sounds pretty legit, so we believe it.
This discussion of ass and titties relates to a study conducted by the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, where researchers found that men and women focus on naughty parts of the human body equally, meaning that it doesn’t matter if it’s a male or female—any of us would notice a seriously nice rack and say, “Goddamn.”
“It could be related to different motives — men might be doing it because they’re interested in potential mates, while women may do it as more of a comparison with themselves,” said lead author of the study , Sarah Gervais. “We can’t just pin this on the men. Women are perceiving women this way, too. But what we do know is that they’re both doing it.”
However, it might be a bit much to say women like boobs as much as men do, because it’s hard to imagine a woman falling off the treadmill because of the massive rack bobbing up and down on the next treadmill. It’s also difficult to picture a woman making slow motion GIFs of jiggling jugs, like this one:
But we’re not denying the fact that women love boobs. It’s their right to love the two things they literally hold closest to their heart (hah). Turns out there’s enough boobage in the world for everyone to enjoy.

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Just to be clear, there's a difference between things we do to your boobs and things we want to do to your boobs. Of course, we love you and everything else you've got going on, and we like the stuff we actually do with your boobs, but here are the things we would do if only we had full VIP 24/7 access.
1. Motorboat them. It doesn't feel good for you and it doesn't really feel great for us. But we want to do it anyway. It's like a deep desire that exists in all men.
2. Shout about them from the rooftops. The world needs to know about your boobs.
3. Stare at them ... for a really, really long time. Long enough that, even if we're in a long-term relationship, it would probably make you uncomfortable. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and just watched your boyfriend sleep and thought about how lucky you are? We want to do that, but to your boobs.
4. Take them in both hands gently and jiggle them . It ... it's mesmerizing.
5. Use them as pillows. Sure, we can rest our weary head on them for a bit when we're cuddling, but you'll eventually tell us your boob is falling asleep or something.
6. And then use them to block out the sun during naps. Just lay on our face while we sleep soundly.
7. Press our ear to them and listen to the ocean. You heard me.
8. Treat them like a sexy basketball hoop. We just want to kick back and throw M&M's into your cleavage because it feels incredibly satisfying. We like boobs, and we like seeing if we can throw things into other things, and this is the point where the two intersect.
9. Grope with wild abandon. We just want to get all up in those boobs without worrying what feels good to do and just explore them like they're majestic mountains. We just want to squeeze.
10. Hold them forever. If it were socially acceptable to walk around in public and hold our girlfriends' boobs, we would.
11. Paint them. They are beautiful works of art that deserve to be hanging on the wall of a museum. It’s something he thinks about but will never tell you out loud because it would sound incredibly creepy. Also, he might not ever think about it either.
12. Sculpt them. Partially because, again, they’re works of art, but also because he could turn them into great bookends.
13. Use them as a mold for bowls. He’s firing up his pottery wheel and he’s going to eat cereal out of the shape of your breast. That pottery wheel was expensive, and frankly, he bought it on impulse, and he needs to justify the purchase somehow.

Men Love These Kinds Of Boobs The Most, Says Science
Photo: Ann Haritonenko / Shutterstock
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By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Nov 03, 2021
When it comes to female breasts, every man has his own personal preference.
Some men love big boobs in all their ripened splendor. Other men prefer small boobs , believing firmly that anything more than a handful is a waste.
It would make sense that men have different takes on what they consider the most attractive boobs. After all, our boobs are like snowflakes, no two are exactly the same. (Even those on the same chest!)
For every woman with every kind of boob imaginable , there exists a man who finds her boobs to be utter perfection.
And it's probably not what you think!
(That last sentence there is how you can tell I write on the internet for a living.)
When I first started reading the study I assumed that the results would indicate that men preferred bigger boobs.
There's evidence to support the idea that larger breasts, along with a narrow waist and wide hips, are fertility indicators and thus, are designed to grab men's attention.
But it turns out that it isn't just the size they are looking for. Men prefer perfectly round boobs.
In the study conducted in Prague , men were shown a long series of photographs of women and asked to comment on the ones they found to be the most attractive.
Across the board, women with rounder breasts (regardless of their size) earned higher points.
You know how I just said that bigger breasts are fertility indicators? Turns out that round breasts are, too.
Women's breasts change shape as they get older , particularly if they have children whom they breastfeed.
A firmer, rounder breast indicates that a woman is younger, and as such, may be more fertile than a woman whose breasts are not as round.
So I guess that hard, perfectly circular boob job look that all plastic surgeons avoid is actually what every guy really wants?
Science can preach all it wants to about these new findings, but the fact remains, there are very few men who are going to express disappointment upon seeing boobs.
For the most part, they're either over the moon to be in their presence, or at the very least damn grateful.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr .
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