Fogbank Sex Comics

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Fogbank Sex Comics


By:



Diana McCallum





E.D. Gonzalez



April 29, 2012

Being a twin is a license to commit crimes, with Arnold.
All the Whos were doing WHAT in Whoville?!
From awkward toasts to James Bond crashing into the cake.
The Coca-Cola parody account for the win.
We may have mentioned a few times how comic books have mastered the art of finding new and creative ways of making sex bizarrely unappealing, even to people who read comic books. Here are some instances of superhero stories aspiring for romance but failing horrifically, like Cupid aiming his bow at a young couple but missing and hitting a choleraic orphan in the face.
Paige Guthrie, code name Husk, is one of the lesser-known characters from the X-Men universe. She briefly had a fling with Angel, who is about 12 years older than her. It isn't the considerable age gap between them that has gotten these two on our list, however, or even the fact that Husk's incredibly unsexy power is the ability to transform into any element she wants after physically pulling the skin from her body .
No, this relationship officially gets awkward when the couple (along with the rest of the X-Men) are in Kentucky at Husk's mother's house. Husk hears Angel admitting to her mom that he is intentionally pulling away from her because he's scared she'll die (and not because of the fact that she's 19 and he's thirty-goddamned-one). After the confrontation, they kiss and make up in a big way:
To make it even more romantic in a way that only genetically altered mutants can, Angel carries her into the sky and they make love in the air, Angel pulling off and tossing Husk's dress down to the onlookers below:
That lady who is turning away in embarrassment? That's Husk's mother . The one who's standing in a good spot to wind up with some drops of mutant semen in her hair if she doesn't get out of the way. The guy catching the dress is Wolverine. Yep, the rest of the X-Men are also enjoying the show.
Note that when Husk drops to the ground moments later, it clearly shows that Angel's pants have disappeared, along with any sense of shame he may have once had in his life.
This story happens a year after the tragic death of Superboy, who was Robin's best friend and Wonder Girl's boyfriend. This being a comic book, Robin deals with his grief by trying to clone Superboy in the basement.
Unfortunately, it isn't working, and after failing to bring his best friend back to life yet again, Robin smashes his clone jar in a fit of bong-destroying rage. Green cellular Superboy clone goop spills everywhere.
Robin has, of course, been doing his experiments in secret, so when Wonder Girl comes in to see what all the glass-smashing hubbub is about and finds him trying to rebuild her dead boyfriend from old fingernails or whatever, she bawls him out for acting so totally insane. But then the tears start coming.
The two then share a passionate kiss, finding the comfort they so desperately need to cope with the loss of their friend. They collapse to the floor:
Yes, the floor. The floor that is one huge puddle of the half-formed remains of the very friend they're mourning. And yes, the shit is right there -- just seconds before, Robin is shown with the goo slipping through his fingers -- fingers he will momentarily run through Wonder Girl's hair.
Both of them know what this stuff is, and yet they're just kneeling there, letting the Superboy corpse soup soak into their clothes while they swallow each other's faces. It kind of makes you wonder if Superboy's last living act wasn't to place a wish for a threesome with a particularly cruel genie.
Despite what the title may lead you to believe, for some reason this comic has nothing to do with Wonder Woman and everything to do with the Huntress, aka Helena Wayne, the daughter of Batman and Catwoman from an alternate universe.
In this issue, the Huntress gets help from Batman's grown-up sidekick, Robin, aka Dick Grayson.
During a break from their investigation, Helena and Dick head down to the training room for some exercise. We watch them chit-chat and perform some impossibly bendy pseudo-gymnastics for a while, and then this happens:
Romance! And honestly, it makes complete sense -- Batman's daughter falls for Batman's young protege. They're a perfect match. Except for the fact that they're siblings . Not biologically, of course, but they were raised in the same house by the same people at the same time. At the very least, this means that Dick is Helena's foster brother, but in all probability they are step-siblings. And if you still don't see what's creepy about it, check this out:
That's Robin drawing the creepy comparison between changing her as an infant and seeing her naked as an adult, and then referring to the nudity involved in the former as a "privilege." Jesus, Batman should've just let the fucking Joker babysit. Oh, it only gets worse from here.
To all our male readers who have sisters -- if you were planning on visiting your sister but knew she was showering, you'd wait until after she got out of the shower to head over, right? If you're Dick Grayson and you have sister-doink on the mind, you break into her apartment and barge right into the goddamn bathroom .
That's right -- he picked the freaking lock and was waiting for her in the bathroom to helpfully remind her that they aren't really related. And just in case you thought he was done being weird, Dick specifically tells Helena not to get dressed. So they can talk for the rest of the evening, and just, ya know, see what happens.
In one of the numerous "What if?" stories published in this series, Superman has been married to the love of his life, Lois Lane, for a month. For her protection, he keeps their marriage secret and hides her away in the Fortress of Solitude. But adventurous Lois has grown bored of the Arctic and demands that Superman announce their marriage to their world. Reluctant and wary, Superman agrees.
But of course, Lois almost immediately regrets her decision, because this is 1961 and she is a woman. Now that the world knows she is married to Superman, she is in constant danger from overpriced merchandise, mass mailings and superbeings who want to kill her. So Superman builds her a protective vehicle, because the Man of Steel isn't going to buy his own groceries, assassins be damned.
Supes is treating Lois (his wife , remember) at best as an afterthought, and at worst as a prisoner. Sure, she can drive around in the giant everything-proof bubble he somehow managed to build for her (presumably with Batman's help), but couldn't he have at least put in some tinting ? It's almost like he wants people to shoot at it so he can test how bulletproof it is.
This is all not even considering the fact that he expects Lois to live in the goddamned North goddamned Pole for the rest of her natural existence, with nobody to talk to except for a bunch of robot Superman clones that seem curiously preoccupied with some other area of the frozen wasteland:
Finally, you may have noticed by now that Lois is Mrs. Superman , not Mrs. Kent . That's because somehow, in between vowing to be faithful and loving and true to each other, the notion that Supes should perhaps tell Lois his secret identity evidently never occurred to either one of them.
If you're not a comic book guy, you should know that Nightwing is the identity Dick Grayson (formerly Robin) adopted in later years, and Tarantula is an up-and-coming heroine who Nightwing decides to mentor in the art of crime fighting.
So, she goes off to face the supervillain Copperhead, and she gets her ass handed to her:
Luckily, Nightwing comes charging in to save the day before Copperhead chokes her to death. As he does, Tarantula stands to the side, all moon-faced and doe-eyed as the man of her dreams valiantly defends her.
After the fight is over, Tarantula tries to steal a kiss. She almost succeeds, but work-oriented Nightwing walks away before first impact, not even looking over his shoulder to see if his devoted student is following him.
Eager to please, she chases after him like an affectionate puppy. Seems like a pretty standard "girl has unrequited crush on her gruff mentor" story line, right?
Well, as it turns out, that gruff exterior may be a manifestation of some fierce PTSD. While Nightwing lay injured and immobile two issues prior, Tarantula climbed aboard and, ignoring his protests, raped him in the street .
Writer Devin Grayson has reassured us that "I never used the word 'rape,' I just said it was nonconsensual." Sure thing!
Later on, she drags a drunken, plainclothes Nightwing to the courthouse and takes advantage of his weakened judgment to get him to pay for a marriage license for the two of them.
All the love in the air gets thrown into high gear when Nightwing bails out at the last moment and leaves Tarantula standing all by her rapey self at the county clerk's office.
Despite being a superhero, Ant-Man has always been kind of a shithead . In the new series, Ant-Man's alter ego is Eric O'Grady, who has all the same powers as the original Ant-Man but engages in slightly different habits of douchebaggery.
During a mission, Eric's best friend, Chris, gets killed, and Eric has to deliver the tragic news to Chris' girlfriend, Veronica.
Eric and Veronica spend the next week mourning their loss together and growing closer as they bond over Chris' death, traveling together to Chris' hometown for his funeral and some manly superhero cry sessions.
After the funeral, they again find each other for comfort and support, and eventually their grief comes out in the form of a teary-eyed make-out session in the rain.
Actually, when we say "after the funeral," we mean exactly that. As in "directly after the funeral." As in "they're standing on the freshly piled dirt atop Chris' earthly tomb." This could be seen as an acceptable part of their mutual mourning process, except for the fact that they are currently in a graveyard , making out directly on Chris' grave a week after his death . You can leave a Big Mac out on the counter for longer than that and eat it without a problem. And soon, they fall down to the grave itself to get their bone on:
So the guy is rotting six feet below his best friend and his girlfriend rolling in the dirt, tearing each other's clothes off and teetering on the edge of vaginal boniferation. Finally, Veronica cuts it off before it becomes the full-fledged deed, leaving Eric sitting in front of his buddy's tombstone with balls more blue than any grief-stricken mourner in the entire cemetery. Presumably he then went home to "wrestle with his guilt."
For more from E.D. Gonzalez, check out Gonzo's Warriors Blog . D. McCallum has more nerd comedy that you can check out here , or you can follow her on Twitter here .
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I Turn My Most Inappropriate Thoughts Into Comics That You Shouldn’t Show Your Grandma (40 New Pics)
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I make the webcomic, The RedDot. My comics span anywhere between sexy innuendos to the pain that is known as “Spanx”. I think it's fun to dabble with the idea of what's inappropriate... we're all thinking about it but just can't quite say it in public. Personally? I'm over it and more than happy to draw it out. Nothing is off the table when it comes to my next idea... Just as long as it's funny.
Check out more of my work in these lovely places!
This post may include affiliate links.
If you have never felt this way after wearing them then you never needed to...
Oh mom, you raised me right... I'm just not right in the head.
Relax Mom! She's just trying to get ahead in the world.
A traditional fairy tale with a modern honest twist to it.
YaSsSsS sHiStAr SlAyS. Please forgive me, I had to
I was actually too scared to do this in real life... the irony now is that I'm terrified of missing her.
I just laughed out loud at work and a male coworker asked what I was laughing about...nothing...keep walking...lol
I find it witty. Yay Charles Darwin.
Careful! He's only into short term relationships.
This happens. A lot. God bless my spouse.
You may be one of the three. There is nothing wrong with any of them. This is just my observation... but do you prefer waffle or curly fries?
HaHa. I love a woman who can tell a cute fart joke.
If you're in a relationship. You're probably one of the two... I don't have any advice, just maybe good luck.
The most META of META of comics I could make. I not only lost an iPad this day but wine as well.
I would be lying if I said 9-year-old me didn't guesstimate the number of petals the flower had.
Its her " wand"...and it has alot of horsepower
I wanted to make a pun but I couldn't find anything on the top of my head so I'll only say that I almost lost it
Yep! Me, my husband and son went to the ocean, as soon as we waded in something touched my foot and I noped the hell right out and sat on the beach and watched them play in the water...
This can be as dirty or as wholesome as you want it to be. Regardless, I'm proud of it.
Took me a moment to get it... He's not the ownwer of a LunaPark, is he? The Magical Mustache Ride looked kinda fun though... I would've riden that! There's an empty seat to her right. LOL
Is that plant holder in the shape of the female reproductive system?
Ouch! Sad to think it was a real thing 600 years ago. (Jeanne D'Arc, "La pucelle") On the bright side, the smoke will suffocate you before your flesh burns if you inhale the most you can... *cringe*
Croc Heels....a fashion made before its time.
Yesterday's mascara is today's smoky eye!!!
I wish this was more than just commentary. You kill off one fictional dog ONCE and the internet is after forever. P.S. I brought the dog back.
Hakuna matata. Love your comics so far!
I've been running long distance for over 14 years. I've been dedicated to fondue for that long, yes.
Oh no! Cheeszebuth has been invoked! Must...eat...sacrificial...cheese...
I don't know what makes this comic work.... but damn, I got to give that calf credit for their dedication to leg day.
What do you a cow with no legs= ground beef
I still have thin mints in my fridge. Damn those cute devils.
A life without carbs is a life without fulfillment... and by that I mean calories.
It's a fart joke with a play on words. Please don't make me explain it.
Just look at him and say "You did it!"
We can't be happy all the time, Bob. Especially when we're a yellow # %$*&^@ tree.
I can't believe I actually thought this comic would have a normal ending for once. XD
We all have that random dream... a crush totally acting out of character... I just hope you didn't text them at 2 AM.
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To quote the comment section: terrible comics
I think your comics are a success and the world deserves you girl
I like the humour, a bit dark, spicy sometimes. Keep us posted!
Do you do long stories too? It would be interesting to have that character in a longer story (maybe include Death too?)
Hi Dora! I'm glad you liked them. I post comics daily and for now it has been just whatever comes to mind. However I have been toying with Death or having my sentiment butt plug gary do a long running comic
your comics made me think of the adult series disenchantment and rick and morty. I'd watch a series of yours too ^_^
LOL, super funny! Thank you so much for sharing and can't wait to read more from you!
I think your comics are a success and the world deserves you girl
I like the humour, a bit dark, spicy sometimes. Keep us posted!
Do you do long stories too? It would be interesting to have that character in a longer story (maybe include Death too?)
Hi Dora! I'm glad you liked them. I post comics daily and for now it has been just whatever comes to mind. However I have been toying with Death or having my sentiment butt plug gary do a long running comic
your comics made me think of the adult series disenchantment and rick and morty. I'd watch a series of yours too ^_^
LOL, super funny! Thank you so much for sharing and can't wait to read more from you!
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Wyatt Neumann is a photographer and a father. In 2014 he took his two-year-old daughter Stella on a cross-country road trip, photographing their journey along the way. Neumann captured sunsets and cornfields and, of course, Stella, often donning one of most two-year-old girls' two favorite ensembles: a princess dress and nothing at all.
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