Fisting Ass

Fisting Ass
By Zachary Zane Published: Aug 4, 2021
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Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine. His work has been featured in Rolling Stone, Washington Post, Playboy, and more.
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Yes, it can happen in real life—not just in porn.
Many people enjoy the sensation of "fullness" in their booty during sex. That feeling can come from a penis, or from using a dildo, butt plug , or prostate massager . But some folks want even more when it comes to filling up their rear end, and that's where anal fisting comes in. “Anal fisting is when one partner inserts their entire hand into the anus of the other,” explains Alicia Sinclair, sex educator and founder of anal sex toy brand b-Vibe .
“Despite the name, the ‘fister’ does not make a fist with their hands before inserting it into the anal opening,” she adds—that would be painful. Just look at how large your hand gets when you make a fist. “Instead, when one is engaging in anal fisting, the fingers are fully extended, overlapping over each other to create a sort of mock dildo with the hand.”
Fisting is an advanced form of anal play, and you should not try it if you're new to butt stuff, Sinclair explains. Anal fisting requires communication, anatomical understanding, and a lot of experience. “If you're a newbie, I highly recommend that you start with an anal massage and then progress to anal fingering and butt plugs to get your anus ready for larger objects,” Sinclair says.
If you've ever watched porn—especially BDSM porn—there's a decent chance you've come across a rough depiction of anal fisting, with the top (fister) using a lot of force. However, fisting shouldn't be rough and forceful, at least not in the beginning. If the receiver takes too much too quickly, they're bound to get hurt.
Fisting, weirdly enough, is typically a more tender act. In fact, many folks who participate in anal fisting “say that it’s an incredibly intimate moment,” Sinclair says.
Now that you know the basics of fisting, let's break down what you need to know before you and a partner attempt it.
The two most important ways to prepare are 1) cleaning out any poop; 2) making sure your anus is ready to be stretched to the max.
There are different ways to deal with feces, including douching and adjusting your diet. First off, you want to drink a lot of water and intake fiber in the days before you plan to get fisted. Then, on the day of, “you want to be sure that you've had a bowel movement within the last few hours before fisting,” Sinclair says. You might also want to do a deeper clean using an enema bulb. Typically, when you douche, you just want to clean out your rectum , but when you’re getting anally fisted, you'll want to clean deeper. It may take 45 minutes to an hour to douche, and that’s okay.
As for preparing your booty to stretch, you'll want to train yourself with toys in the days leading up to fisting day. If you haven’t bottomed for anything in a month, it’s going to be really difficult to relax enough to accept a whole fist.
If you're the fistee, your job, first and foremost, is to relax. The best way to do this is through diaphragmatic breathing (i.e., deep belly breaths). Clenching is the enemy; avoid doing so at all costs. You also want to be aroused. When your brain is in the mood, your body is, too!
As with all anal activity, use lube. “Lube is a must in all sexual play, but it's especially important when anal fisting,” Sinclair says. There are lubes created specifically for fisting, like J-lube, but you can also go with a thick silicone-based lube . The fister should be reapplying lube frequently to their hand, as well as the inside of the fistee's anus.
Some people find that jerking off their penis while getting fisted adds to the pleasure. However, often the sensation of having a hand inside you is so intense, it's impossible to stay erect. You can see for yourself when you try.
If you're the fistee, remember that slow and steady wins the race. Start by just putting in a finger and massaging the prostate. Once the receiver is turned on and relaxed, and space opens up inside of them, you can gradually insert more fingers. When three fingers are in, you can then turn your hand into a duck beak shape and thrust slowly. The hard part is getting past your knuckles. Again, don't rush. Let the body open up on its own.
And remember: Both partners should communicate with each other. “[Fisting] should not hurt,” Sinclair says. “If you're feeling pain, stop what you're doing and reassess.” Maybe anal fisting isn't working for you today, and that’s totally okay!
“I feel this unbelievable catharsis when I’m getting fisted,” says Jeff, 42, who’s been fisted over 100 times. “It’s so intense, yet afterward, I feel this unbelievable calm.”
Chris, 37, describes the experience as being “life-changing.” “It’s very intimate to have so much of someone else so deep inside of you. I feel really connected to my partners after I get fisted," he says.
John, 33, says: “I like pushing my body to the limits and seeing how much I can take. I love to watch the top’s face when they see just how far they can get their entire arm inside of me. I feel invincible.”
Fisting is a very intense experience, especially for the person on the receiving end. It's important to practice sexual aftercare so that everyone gets the emotional and physical support they need post-hookup.
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Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through links on our site.
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