First Time Sex

First Time Sex
In intimate detail, one woman describes the first time she *almost* had sex during her freshman year at NYU.
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and I knew that I wasn't ready to have one-night stand,
but I was also really horny all the time
and honestly, I would've slept with anyone
My sober self knew that I wasn't ready,
I wore a decidedly puritanical outfit
Like, just the like the ugliest bra you could think of.
We go to the party and I get drunk.
There was like, beer pong and people were shotgunning
and mixing all sorts of flavored vodkas.
I sort of loved it and hated it at the same time.
And I see this guy who's wearing a frat shirt,
and I was like, You, you're perfect.
I don't think we exchanged any words.
And at one point, he was like, Wait, pause,
on my friend Shula's dorm room wall.
to go back to his dorm room and hook up.
I do remember sort of panicking on the way there,
knowing that his expectations and mine were different
He took off my shirt, and the first thing he said
At this point I'm sobering up a little bit,
and I think, Am I gonna go through with this?
But I wanted to be polite, I didn't wanna offend him.
So I was just going with the strategy of distracting him.
So I was like, What kind of books do you like?
And he was like, I don't really read,
and kept pulling at my skirt, trying to get it off.
And I was like, Okay, but if you had to pick
just one book that you've read that you really liked.
And he was like, Okay, who's the guy
and certified academic asshole, was aghast.
and he kept kissing my neck and just littering my body
with all these horrible teenage-y hickeys,
And so I just went with the first thing
that popped in my head, I'm on my period,
It was like, Can you at least do anything?
And my closing line was, Not if you like Michael Crichton.
As I'm walking home, I have my shoes in my hand
and don't feel bad about offending a bro at a party
because you don't owe them anything.
Learn how to say no in whatever way you know how.
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I waited 41 years to have sexual intercourse with a man in a loving, committed relationship. That man is my husband and the father of our child.
When I was 16, I chose to be a part of a True Love Waits ceremony at a church in which I pledged to wait until marriage to have sex. While this experience planted a seed, I don't blame "purity culture" for the falsely safe patterns of control I developed. It became my own web to untangle.
By my mid-20's, I wasn't waiting for marriage anymore. But I still felt in my gut that I wanted to share the experience of intercourse in an exclusive relationship with someone who loved me. While my strong libido made it hard to resist sexual intercourse , my fear that celibacy pushed away potential relationships made it even harder.
But after dating over 100 men in the span of 20 years, I learned it's possible — even healthy — to wait to have sex in a committed and loving relationship.
Waiting for what I wanted wasn't wrong. But longing for unavailable men and chasing rejection for 25 years wasn't healthy.
Ultimately, I learned virginity is as valuable to you as you want it to be. And despite what the zeitgeist says, you're whole whether you're having sex or not.
You don't owe sex to anyone, ever. Not the one who brought you to a five-star restaurant, the one who flew you to the Bahamas, or the one who said you seduced him. You do owe yourself permission to have sex whenever you feel ready.
When I was 35, my New York Times essay, "Does my virginity have a shelf life?" went viral. I received advice from people all over the world telling me I was wasting the most valuable sex years of my life.
These strangers had no idea how often I orgasmed.
When I finally did have sexual intercourse at 41, it still mattered to me. And it was fun, freeing, and at times "I'll have what she's having" good.
It took me over two decades of dating to realize there's nothing more orgasmic than having sex with a partner who loves me unconditionally.
I'm 43 and 16 months out from having a child, and sex is still good.
We all have a Mr. Big in our lives — people who are physically, mentally, and emotionally unavailable.
Mine was a farming painter from Chicago I dated in my early 20s. In my 30s, we'd have weekend flings every couple of years. It was more comfortable — even thrilling — to long for love from him than risk accepting love from someone who I feared might disappear. He never loved me. He barely returned my phone calls.
Our brains are wired to crave what we don't have. Anticipation , not the attainment of the thing we want, results in a dopamine release. Like alcohol or drugs, longing is a temporary way of escaping the discomfort of reality. When I quit longing, I stopped believing the illusion that I was in control.
While I wasn't having sex like many of my peers, I did buy into the pervasive cultural message that tells women that emotionally disconnected intimacy made them stronger feminists.
I became so adept at disassociating with men in alcohol-fueled encounters, it took an ER doctor whom I dated breaking my heart to make me aware of my patterns. I began crying and my body shook each time I'd become intimate with someone else after him.
I couldn't allow my body to live a lie anymore — to pretend it didn't need emotional intimacy. Six months after that heartbreak, and a few more dating mistakes, I met my now husband.
The reality is, there are an infinite number of "firsts." My infant daughter taught me this.
During her first year of life, she received her first piece of mail, blew her first kiss, ate her first piece of chocolate, and had her first daddy-daughter dance. The important firsts aren't dictated by some book new mothers fill out. We imbue value in first experiences. Look for those many firsts and you'll find more joy in your life.

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Before it's happened, our first time having sex can feel like a really big, hyped up thing. We're taught a lot about having sex for the first time — that it's special, that it's not special, that it should be saved, or that it shouldn't be. Ultimately, the first time you have sex should be on your terms, and whether that means it's a really big and special moment, or it's just another day, that's totally up to you. What we can say for sure is that everyone's first time is different, and a recent hashtag on Twitter shows just that.
#MyFirstTime is a collection of people's first times having sex, first kisses, first time masturbating, and much, much more. Some people used the opportunity to make pretty good jokes, while others got real about their feelings on their first sexual encounter. But if one thing is clear from the hashtag, it's that there are a lot of different ways to get busy for the first time — and they're all totally valid.
Below, we rounded up some of the best tweets about #MyFirstTime.
Many people tweeted about how their first time having sex was underwhelming.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
Or that things didn't go quite as expected.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
Some people had what could be described as a disastrous outcome to their first time.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
While others seemed to think what happened to them was embarrassing, while it's actually totally normal.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
And when we're talking about our first times, it doesn't always mean sex, or vaginal intercourse. Some people tweeted about their first kiss, their first time using a vibrator, and their first time experimenting with anal sex .
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
Others seemed to be talking about one thing, while they really meant another.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
Ultimately, whatever your first experience with sex or self-love is, it's important that you feel empowered in making that choice.
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
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