First Time Doing Anal

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15 First-Time Anal Sex Tips: A Guide on How to Do Anal
Experts explain how to make the experience smooth, safe and sexy.
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If you're considering having anal sex for the first time, you're probably wondering how to do anal—how do you prepare, relax, and enjoy the intimate moment with your partner? 
It's a question that's becoming more common. According to the latest research from the Kinsey Institute, more young women than ever—45 percent—are exploring anal play . 
To answer your first-time anal sex questions, we called in the experts: Rachel Needle , Psy.D., a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, and Tristan Taormino , author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women .
We asked for their top anal sex tips to take the stress out of first-time anal sex.
The last thing you want to be before attempting anal penetration (or anal stimulation) is tense. "If you're hesitant, nervous, or not into it, no one is going to get off, and what's the point of that?" says Taormino. If this is your first time trying anal sex, spend some time relaxing—take a hot bath, ask your partner to give you a sensual massage, heck, you can even meditate. To prepare for anal sex , you can also focus on specifically relaxing your the muscles of your anal sphincter. To see what that feels like, tighten your butt muscles—kind of like a kegel for the other end—and then release.
Figuring out how to do anal sex with your partner stars with communication. "Talk about it first. As with all types of sexual activity , anal sex is something that should be discussed beforehand," says Needle. "Communicate your fears and expectations with your partner, and make sure that you are both on the same page about things like speed, depth, etc. Trust me, this is one area in which you do NOT want any surprises."
Throughout the experience, it is your job to pay attention to what you are feeling, and communicate this to your partner. If something feels uncomfortable or painful, let them know.
You may choose to establish a safe word to let your partner know you're not comfortable moving forward or that you want to move a little slower. 
"Many women's fear of first-time anal sex stems from a fear of what goes on back there (naturally) and how that's going to play into the action," says Needle. "To cleanse yourself (literally) of such mental roadblocks, take a nice, steamy shower first."
One of the best ways to ease into anal play is to make sure you're extremely aroused beforehand. "The number-one mistake people make is rushing," says Taormino. Start with foreplay, vaginal sex, anything that turns you on. (Being one or two orgasms deep before you try any anal penetration helps.) "The more aroused you are, the more relaxed your sphincter muscle will be, and that's going to make for a hotter and easier experience," she says.
The key to really enjoying anal sex ? Lube, lube, and more lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant. The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be, explains Needle. Don't forget to make sure you are using a condom-safe, water or silicone-based lubricant (oil-based lubricants aren't compatible with condoms). Don't be afraid to reapply frequently. More lube equals better anal sex always.
For first-time anal sex, the receiver (aka whichever partner is being penetrated) should be the one to control the depth and speed of penetration. The optimal position to allow you to do that is you on top, which gives you full control of just how fast and deep you go. 
No matter how much lube you use, your backdoor is not a water slide. First-time anal sex should be approached like getting into a really hot bath tub. First you test the waters during foreplay, allowing your partner to gently rub around the opening with their finger, before experimenting with actually inserting anything. Whether you're using a penis, a finger, or a toy, start slowly with just the tip before inserting anything any deeper. 
Using a small dildo or anal plug can be a great way to ease into things. The key here is to be gentle and communicate. If at any point things get too uncomfortable, speak up.
Whether it's a finger, a toy, or a penis, make sure to never go from butt to vagina—it's a UTI waiting to happen. If you want to switch to vaginal stimulation after anal play, hop in the shower to keep the action going or keep a tub of baby wipes on your nightstand to sanitize in between. 
In those first few moments of penetration, the pressure tends to cause women to hold their breath. This results in the immediate tightening of those muscles, which will only lead to pain. Take deep, even breaths and focus on relaxing your entire body and release all tension. It may feel like you have to go to the bathroom at first, but just go with it.
First-time anal play will be full of new sensations, some weird, some amazing. What you shouldn't feel is pain. If at any point during the action, penetration becomes painful, let your partner know immediately. You may want to add more lube, slow things down, or give it a rest for awhile and switch to other types of stimulation. 
Just because there's no risk of getting pregnant, doesn't mean you can skip the condom—they're the only way to prevent sexually transmitted infections. Just don't go from anal to vaginal penetration with the same condom as that can spread infections. Ditch the condom and put on a new one before penetrating the vagina.
There are many shared nerve endings between the walls of the vagina and the anus, so stimulating the vagina simultaneously can be extremely pleasurable. If you feel comfortable, insert something (perhaps a finger or a vibrator ) into your vagina while you are engaging in anal play.
As you get more comfortable with anal sex with a partner you trust, you can explore different positions. Spooning is another great pick for backdoor beginners. It position gives you shared control of your movements and adds an extra touch of intimacy, which may help you relax as well. Doggy-style position allows your partner easy entry but also puts them in full control, which might not be the best for your first time.
If you feel pain at any point, have your partner ease up, stop, or switch positions.
If you wondering when is the right time to engage in first-time anal sex, remember that there's no right or wrong answer. For some women, anal sex is a no-go and for others it's a possibility. Either way is a-okay.
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