First Time Couple

First Time Couple

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Losing your virginity isn’t necessarily the biggest first in your life. Here, one woman shares her most significant sexual first
“I don’t have an extraordinarily strong record of maintaining monogamy. It was a difficult standard for me to adhere to, prior to my current relationship, and so I wasn’t really enacting any ethics. I was cheating, is what I’m saying. That’s me. And so with my current relationship of seven years, it’s not that there was a risk of falling back into old habits—I didn’t meet someone new or see something coming—but I knew I had an appetite for extra-curricular activity. And I was also interested in maintaining a higher ethical standard than I had before. My partner was open to the possibility of us being open, but he wasn’t sure what that would mean.
We had been talking about it, what we wanted our arrangement to involve, for six or eight months. But there wasn’t really an ‘Okay, let’s go.’ What happened is that I slept with someone else. It’s not an approach that I think is advisable, but it’s what happened. It was with someone I knew, and I certainly didn’t leave the house knowing that this was a thing that was going to happen, but I think it felt a lot safer. There was a novelty about sleeping with someone new, and about it being someone I knew, and it was a good one in the context of sexual experiences. It felt terrific.
I didn’t feel great going home—I cannot emphasize enough that this is not the best way to start an open relationship. It did feel different than the times I cheated in the past, though, because we’d had conversations about this being a possibility, and I leaned on the fact that at some point, the trigger was going to be pulled. But this definitely should have been something we shook hands on. My partner wasn’t pleased about it, but it became pretty apparent I wanted an open relationship quite pointedly and urgently, so we determined that it was something we were both going to explore mutually.
When we started sleeping with other people, the goal was more about sexual exploration and bringing home something new in that regard. But if you’re going to engage in intimacy with people outside your relationship, you need to make sure there’s a solid baseline of trust. We maintain the sanctity of our shared space—so people don’t come over—and we don’t stay the night. With some couples, the less the other person knows, the better. But for us, it became apparent that to avoid any inkling of doubt or jealousy or fear of the unknown, we were going to have to talk about almost literally everything. We talk about our relationship more frequently, more openly, and with more vulnerability than we have since we started dating. It’s definitely brought a completely different flavour of communication to our relationship, more than it’s brought anything sexual to it. That wasn’t expected, but it’s pretty f-cking cool.”— As told to Danielle Groen
Even after she stops playing tennis, she’ll still be winning.

By
Natalie Michie

In a world that teaches women we need to shrink in order to fit in, Serena Williams refuses to be contained.
Take the match that kicked off her final tournament: the 2022 U.S. Open Championship. On August 29, the athlete played in a head-to-toe crystal-embellished Nike ensemble (including a diamond-encrusted swoosh !). The symbolism of her galaxy-inspired outfit shouldn’t be lost on any of us. After announcing in a recent Vogue essay that she would be “evolving away” from her tennis career , she was signalling that not even the sky is the limit for her next act.
Of course, she’s never done well with limits anyway.
— US Open Tennis (@usopen) September 1, 2022
Throughout her groundbreaking career, Williams has pushed back on the old-fashioned constraints of the sport. Tennis was historically dominated by upper-middle-class, white players and had a strict women’s dress code of corsets and long skirts . The uniform was modest and subdued to represent the well-behaved women wearing it.
But Serena Williams — who is not white, waify or from a wealthy background — has continuously used her uniform to push against that meek “angel in the house” trope. At the 2019 French Open, her ensemble emblazoned with the French words for “Mother, Champion, Queen, Goddess” was a statement about the strength of womanhood. In 2018, she famously donned a superhero-like catsuit for the French Open. Even back in 2004, she surprised the world in a pleated denim mini-skirt at the U.S. Open.
Third-seeded Serena Williams models a tennis outfit she designed that includes a denim skirt at a press conference, 28 August, 2004, two days before the start of the US Open Tennis tournament in New York. @SerenaWilliams | #FashionFriday | @USOpen pic.twitter.com/0lWFdBPkZb
— Tennis Channel (@TennisChannel) May 14, 2021
Throughout her career, her subversive looks have been met with pushback . In fact, many facets of Williams’ appearance and demeanour have been the target of criticism over the years, often as a thin veil for racism and sexism. But she’s made a name for herself by standing out in spite of it all. “There were so many matches I won because something made me angry or someone counted me out,” she writes in Vogue . “That drove me.”
Though women are often taught to strive for softness, Williams shows there’s power in being bold. From her reverberating vocal grunts when hitting the ball to her ability to traverse the entire court quickly, the star shows up as her whole, unapologetic self every time. And she’s raising her daughter , Olympia, to do the same.
Sartorially, that fearlessness has translated to uniforms with bright colours and loud patterns, and unexpected pieces like frilly tutus and corset tops. It’s this enduring individuality that has made Serena Williams a bonafide fashion icon off the court. From walking the runway to gracing the steps of the Met Gala , the athlete’s larger-than-life persona has transcended industries.
— Pixie Tenenbaum (@PixieTenenbaum) May 6, 2019
Taking up space is not always easy. It involves expecting more from yourself while commanding respect from others. It means believing that you belong in certain spaces, even if people don’t want to make you feel welcome. There’s often harsh criticism when women take up “too much” space, but Serena Williams refuses to dial back her outfits, mute her voice or curb her enthusiasm. In spite of negative feedback, she’s never made herself smaller.
“I’d like to think that thanks to opportunities afforded to me, women athletes feel that they can be themselves on the court,” she reflected in her essay. “They can play with aggression and pump their fists. They can be strong yet beautiful. They can wear what they want and say what they want and kick butt and be proud of it all.”
We’re often taught success means changing ourselves to play the game. But Serena Williams showed us it’s okay to rewrite the rules.

2022 St. Joseph Media All Rights Reserved

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The First Time My Boyfriend And I Tried… A Threesome!
Rohit and I had been dating for as long as either of us could remember. We were in a long distance relationship, but that didn’t come between our love for each other. He was sure of me and so was I of him. We had no qualms about our sex life as well. Sure, we had let our imagination run wild at times and had also experimented tons of times in bed, but none of them involved another person. Until this one time…
For a while, we had been planning a trip together to Thailand. So when that day finally came, we could not control our excitement! Being on holiday with the one you love and having the time of your life sounded so dreamy. I really couldn’t believe this was happening for real!
We stayed at a cute little hotel in Phuket. While the days were meant for relaxing near the pool and beach, the nights were meant for hardcore partying. The nightlife was so vibrant and colourful that neither of us ever wanted the nights to end.
We decided to bar hop one night. After every bar, we got a bit more tipsy. I remember this one bar Rohit and I were at. The music was groovy and the vibe was just perfect. While we were on the dance floor, suddenly, Rohit pulled me closer to the corner. He started kissing me and I could feel his hands all over my body. None of us seemed to mind because the club was pitch dark and we were too caught up in the moment to care.
While we were at it, I couldn’t help but notice a girl who was just staring at us. She didn’t say a word, though. All she did was just smile at the both of us. My boyfriend and me got a little awkward, but she gently asked us to carry on what we were doing because she enjoyed seeing us together at it!
We found it extremely weird at first, but we both thought that it was kind of hot. After a wild makeout session we turned around and the girl was gone! We headed back to our hotel room and laughed it off. Not to mention that the sex that followed after was just amazing. We woke up the next day thinking all of it was just a dream.
We then dressed up and headed to a place near our hotel to grab lunch. The tiny hut-shaped restaurant was known for its yummy seafood. After we placed our order, our eyes fell on this one table. There was a group of friends having a good time and the girl who had met us at the bar the night before was there too!
We both freaked out and decided to not make any further eye contact with that table. To our surprise, that girl came over to our table and asked us if she could sit with us. We got to know that her name was Tamara and, just like us, she was on vacation too. She also confessed that she had broken up with her girlfriend and had come to Phuket to find peace. She was a fun person to be around. It felt as if we had known each other since forever, when in reality it had only been a day.
After getting to know her better, we invited her over for a couple of beers and snacks in the evening. She came over that night with a dish she’d prepared and it was a really fun evening. We spoke over food, played Jenga and listened to soft music while sipping on some chilled beer.
After a few beers and couple of jokes down, she casually told me that she found me attractive. I mean, I was flattered and all – but I didn’t know how to react. She then gently leaned over and passionately kissed me on my lips. Rohit was in the washroom all along, and the moment he came out, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing!
I pushed her away, but deep within, I quite enjoyed every bit of it. There was an awkward silence and no one knew what to do or say after. It all came as one big shock. But we swore this: whatever happens in this rooms, stays in this room.
Tamara then suggested that we try something different as a couple. Like a threesome… While Rohit was speechless, I didn’t mind giving the idea a shot. I assured him that this would never change our relationship and that we should do it just for the thrill of it. I finally got him to agree!
Rohit and me got into bed while we were waiting for Tamara to get done with her shower. As soon as we heard the door slide, shivers ran down both our spines. She was wearing nothing but a smile. She looked stunning.
She hopped onto the bed, and slipped in between us. After a few giggles, she put the awkwardness to rest by making the first move. She pulled my face close to hers and started kissing and nibbling on my lips. She then moved to caressing my breast. After which, we both made eye contact with my boyfriend, and took turns at satisfying each other. It was such an intense union, but equally blissful and passionate at the same time.
All three of us went to bed after. Only to wake up and notice that Tamara had already left our hotel. The strange part was that neither Rohit nor me felt guilty about what we had done. It all felt just…great.
We then headed to a place for breakfast. While we were relishing our food, I felt a pat on my back. It was Tamara! She had seen us from afar and had come by to apologise for leaving so abruptly. We offered her a seat and three of us got to joking and talking as if nothing ever happened between us.
We were all coincidentally heading back that day itself. She hugged me and Rohit and said goodbye. We knew that we would probably never see her again, but what we did know was that Rohit and I had never felt closer as a couple.
I doubt we would be open to trying another threesome in the future, but it’s an experience neither of us will ever forget!
* Names changed to protect privacy.
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