First Time Bdsm
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First Time Bdsm
5 BDSM Tips You MUST Follow During Your First Experience
Fifty Shades of Grey via Universal Pictures
Fifty Shades Darker via Universal Pictures
bdsm
sex
advice
tips
health
nonprofits
You and your partner have sat down and talked about spicing up your sex life.
You thought about the best way to do that and decided on starting with some light BDSM play ... now what?
Before you start tying each other up, it's important to know what BDSM is and how to make the most of your first experience.
Scroll below for five tips you must follow during your first BDSM experience to make the most of it.
Chances are you have a pretty good idea of what BDSM is—after all, you've already looked into doing it—but we figured we'd define it just to be safe .
BDSM is an acronym for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. It's defined on Merriam-Webster as:
"sexual activity involving such practices as the use of physical restraints, the granting and relinquishing of control, and the infliction of pain"
We realize this definition sounds a little bit extreme and terrifying, so don't let that prevent you from getting a little BDSM action on. It doesn't all need to be painful or restraining.
To make sure you experience the most pleasure from your first BDSM experience, we rounded up a few tips for you to follow.
It's so important to keep an open stream of communication when you're partaking in BDSM activities for the first time. Tell your partner how you're feeling and be sure to check in with them. We'd like to note that this shouldn't just happen when you do BDSM, but every single time you have sex. Communication is a vital part of every aspect in a relationship, especially sex.
Going off the above point, make sure you have a safe word going into your BDSM experience. It can be the same one for both of you or a different one for each of you. It's all up to you, but make sure you both know what your safe words are so as to avoid any confusion during your BDSM play. When things get out of hand or you feel uncomfortable, scream your safe word.
Do you want to be tied up? Does your partner want to be blindfolded? Decide on the acts that you'll be partaking in together. Again, this will help you avoid any confusion when you go at it. Plus, it's nice to know what your partner's planning on doing to you beforehand, just in case it's not really something you want to do. And figuring out all of this together will only make the two of you more excited for when it's time to get down to business.
Remember, this is your first time. You don't have to go all Fifty Shades of Grey when you first start out, so don't put that pressure on yourself. Take things slow and engage in what you're comfortable with. If you get tied up and realize you don't like it, tell your partner to untie you. Yes, you should push yourself out of your comfort zone, but if you're really not feeling something, don't do it.
Once everything is said and done, set aside some time for aftercare. This can include going through a play-by-play of what you just experienced or simply cuddling and being more affectionate with your partner. However you want to unwind post-coitus is up to you, just be sure to do it. Aftercare is super important and something most people forget to do after intercourse.
Have you tried BDSM before? What worked for you during your first experience? Tweet us @womendotcom or message us on Facebook !
5 BDSM Tips You MUST Follow During Your First Experience
Fifty Shades of Grey via Universal Pictures
Fifty Shades Darker via Universal Pictures
bdsm
sex
advice
tips
health
nonprofits
You and your partner have sat down and talked about spicing up your sex life.
You thought about the best way to do that and decided on starting with some light BDSM play ... now what?
Before you start tying each other up, it's important to know what BDSM is and how to make the most of your first experience.
Scroll below for five tips you must follow during your first BDSM experience to make the most of it.
Chances are you have a pretty good idea of what BDSM is—after all, you've already looked into doing it—but we figured we'd define it just to be safe .
BDSM is an acronym for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. It's defined on Merriam-Webster as:
"sexual activity involving such practices as the use of physical restraints, the granting and relinquishing of control, and the infliction of pain"
We realize this definition sounds a little bit extreme and terrifying, so don't let that prevent you from getting a little BDSM action on. It doesn't all need to be painful or restraining.
To make sure you experience the most pleasure from your first BDSM experience, we rounded up a few tips for you to follow.
It's so important to keep an open stream of communication when you're partaking in BDSM activities for the first time. Tell your partner how you're feeling and be sure to check in with them. We'd like to note that this shouldn't just happen when you do BDSM, but every single time you have sex. Communication is a vital part of every aspect in a relationship, especially sex.
Going off the above point, make sure you have a safe word going into your BDSM experience. It can be the same one for both of you or a different one for each of you. It's all up to you, but make sure you both know what your safe words are so as to avoid any confusion during your BDSM play. When things get out of hand or you feel uncomfortable, scream your safe word.
Do you want to be tied up? Does your partner want to be blindfolded? Decide on the acts that you'll be partaking in together. Again, this will help you avoid any confusion when you go at it. Plus, it's nice to know what your partner's planning on doing to you beforehand, just in case it's not really something you want to do. And figuring out all of this together will only make the two of you more excited for when it's time to get down to business.
Remember, this is your first time. You don't have to go all Fifty Shades of Grey when you first start out, so don't put that pressure on yourself. Take things slow and engage in what you're comfortable with. If you get tied up and realize you don't like it, tell your partner to untie you. Yes, you should push yourself out of your comfort zone, but if you're really not feeling something, don't do it.
Once everything is said and done, set aside some time for aftercare. This can include going through a play-by-play of what you just experienced or simply cuddling and being more affectionate with your partner. However you want to unwind post-coitus is up to you, just be sure to do it. Aftercare is super important and something most people forget to do after intercourse.
Have you tried BDSM before? What worked for you during your first experience? Tweet us @womendotcom or message us on Facebook !
Watch : "Dating #NoFilter" Goes BDSM With a Spanking Class
Dating #NoFilter returns early 2020, only on E!
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In this clip from Tuesday's new Dating #No Filter , enthusiastic blind dater Abby dabbles in BDSM for the first time. The problem is, Abby isn't totally sure she's into BDSM. In fact, when her match Jewel reveals their debut date activity—a lesson on "how to give a good old-fashioned spanking," proctored by a professional who informs the pair right away that "one's gonna take it and one's gonna receive it" during the course of their rendezvous—she looks downright terrified.
"Poor Abby, get her outside!" shouts comedian Cara Connors , before co-commentator Nina Parker chimes in. "Abby is like, 'I did not know this is what I was gonna do today when I woke up and put on my little purple t-shirt,'" cracks the Nightly Pop co-host.
And pan back to Abby, who's already admitted she's never really done this before but is moseying on over to the "spank bench" nonetheless, where Jewel (a BDSM fan who's loving this right now) is about to show her how it's done.
"You will receive 10 on each cheek and you will endure it," she instructs, to which Abby—bent over the apparatus already, t-shirt, denim jacket and all—solemnly says, "OK." They do agree on a safe word though! Per Abby's suggestion, it's "mercy".
"I'm saying 'mercy' for her," Nina interjects, as Jewel counts, "Three, four, five…"
Cara points out that "they haven't even asked each other their favorite color yet," and her partner agrees this is quite the installation of introductory foreplay. "Like, let me at least get an appetizer first!" Nina exclaims.
Think these two make it to dinner? Evaluate the spanks, uh, sparks, for yourself in the full clip above!
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