First Time Anal Sex Tutorial
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First Time Anal Sex Tutorial
Some super crucial tips for preparing your body before butt stuff.
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Zoë Ligon is a sex educator, writer, artist, and the owner of the sex-positive online toy store Spectrum Boutique , which is based out of Detroit. She loves psychological thrillers, saunas, weed, and girthy sex toys.
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Butt stuff is an entirely different type of play from oral and vaginal sex for many reasons. Those who love anal sex are often appreciative of its highly intimate nature and the unique sensation of fullness it gives the receiver.
Almost everyone has an anus, and since the anus has a ton of highly sensitive nerve endings, it’s absolutely thrilling to try anal stimulation if you haven’t explored it before. Having said that, butt stuff should be something you choose to do — not something you do to please anyone but yourself, and certainly not something anyone can be pushy or coercive about doing with you.
While it is fun as heck when done right, there’s a whole bunch of misinformation out there about it. Because everyone deserves to have a beautiful bum experience every time, here are seven tips that will help you prepare for and then enjoy yours.
First things first: Figure out your safer-sex approach. Keep in mind that if you're not using a condom, anal sex is a higher-risk sex act , especially for the receiver. The rectum doesn't self-lubricate and its lining is more delicate than that of the vagina or mouth, meaning you’re more likely to tear something during anal than during vaginal or oral sex, and tears can allow viruses or bacteria to enter the bloodstream. HIV and hepatitis are easily spread this way because they're transmitted through blood-to-blood or semen-to-blood contact.
To minimize risk, you can use a latex condom (like this one from Sustain ) or polyisoprene condom (which is free of allergens, like the Skyn condom from Lyfestyles ) during anal sex with a penis or dildo, unless you can completely sterilize the dildo . You should also utilize dental dams during anal rimming, and nitrile gloves during manual penetration. (Of course, even if you are using a condom, many common STIs, including syphilis and herpes, can still be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact.)
If you're fluid-bonded with your partner — meaning you've chosen to stop using barrier methods, a choice that should be based on the results of comprehensive STI testing — it's still important to avoid transferring bacteria from the rectum to other parts of the body, for example the vagina. Switching from anal to vaginal sex without replacing the condom or thoroughly washing the penis or dildo can lead to a vaginal or urinary tract infection.
Your rectum is not a vaginal canal, nor is it a mouth and throat, so don't expect your anus to work like other orifices. If you’re going to be the giver of anal penetration, don’t fuck an anus like any other orifice. Not only is the rectum a canal that does not self-lubricate as the vaginal canal and mouth do, the entry is also "gated" by two — yes, two — sphincters. This means that you shouldn't dream of having anal sex without a thick water- or silicone-based lube .
It also means you've got to take it easy, at least at first. Pain is the body’s natural way of telling you to slow down or stop what you’re doing. While moments of discomfort may occur when you’re new to all the booty feelings that come with anal, sharper sensations are warning signs that something isn’t happening correctly or that you’re moving too quickly. Some folks combat this by using numbing or relaxing creams, but I urge you to avoid these at all costs. If you can’t feel pain, you won’t know when your body is telling you to stop, and you risk injury to your anal tissues.
Some people with hemorrhoids find anal too painful, but others find it can actually relieve pain (stimulating the butt draws blood to the area, which keeps circulation flowing). Again, it’s your choice whether or not to play with your butt, so if you have hemorrhoids, just do what feels right for your body.
Some people fear that anal sex is going to result in an explosion of poop. These fears are generally overblown, but it's not unusual to encounter bits of poo from time to time. Some people anally douche before doing butt stuff, but many of us don’t and it works just fine. In my opinion, it’s completely unreasonable to put your body through the douching process each time you want to do butt stuff, so unless you really love douching, there’s no need.
You can reduce your chances of encountering poop by choosing to do butt stuff when you know you’re not still digesting food. For the most part, though, you won’t see any poop unless you’re about to have a bowel movement. Feces are stored in the colon, which is where the rectum highway leads. Poop only passes through the rectum as it exits the body; otherwise, it just chills up in the colon.
If you find that longer phalluses that go inside you anally have a bit of poop at the tip when they're pulled out, that’s probably because they've entered the colon. It’s no biggie, but it is something to be aware of, and you definitely want to be more gentle the deeper you go.
Clockwise from top left : Tantus ProTouch $40 ( Shop Now )/ LifeStyles Skyn Condoms Lubricated Non-Latex $6 ( Shop Now )/ Sliquid Sassy Water-Based Anal Lube $8 to $20 ( Shop Now ) / Fun Factory Bootie Plug $35 to 45 ( Shop Now ) / Sustain Ultra Thin Condoms $14 ( Shop Now )
By now you know that lube is non-negotiable for butt play. A good sex toy, meanwhile, is an ideal tool for getting accustomed to the sensations of being anally penetrated. Even if you’re looking to achieve penetration with a penis eventually, it’s wise to start out with fingers or an anal-safe toy — and, again, so much lube .
A toy is safe to put in your butt if it has a flared base or another stopping point. That's because the rectum can suck things inside the body like a vacuum (unlike the vaginal canal, which ends with the cervix). The last thing you want is to end up in the ER with a vibrator lost up your ass.
Starting with small toys will help you become familiar with how your rectum feels as things go in and out of it so that you’re prepared for a larger thing, like a strap-on dildo or penis. For a great starter toy, check out Fun Factory's Bootie Plug (in the small size) or Tantus' ProTouch . Note: Keep in mind that you shouldn't use silicone lube with silicone toys since it can degrade the material.
While we can clench and unclench our outer sphincter consciously (try it right now), the inner sphincter cannot relax unless you are super duper chilled-out inside. If you’re the receiving partner, calm your mind, steady your breathing, and try to identify and let go of any tension you’re holding inside of your body. You or your partner should begin by slowly massaging the outer ring of the sphincter and surrounding areas until you feel the anus relax. Don’t jump the gun — you have plenty of time to get to the main event.
Your breath and mind are crucial parts of successful booty play. If you’re anxiously forcing something into your body, you’re just going to clench up more. Take deep belly breaths and let the residual tension go with every exhale. See if you can identify what I call a “tension cord” in your midsection: Some of us notice that this cord releases during the insertion process, and once it does, that's when the fun begins.
If you find yourself repeatedly tensing up, take a break and pick things back up if and when you feel ready to try again. If your partner isn’t attuned to your body's cues, it’s especially important to vocalize what does and doesn’t feel good so they can respond accordingly.
You might think that whatever you’re putting in your butt should enter head-on, perpendicular to the body, but this may actually make insertion more difficult. Approach the sphincter at a 45-degree angle to the body, and if you aren’t using your fingers as the insertable object, use an index finger to put pressure against the tip of the toy or phallus to guide it in at an angle until it “tips” in.
Once you’ve got a centimeter or so in, pay close attention to the way your body feels receiving and the way the sphincter is interacting with the insertable. If the fit feels too tight, ease out. If you feel your butt opening up and accepting what you’ve put against the entryway, slowly continue ease in. You can make subtle in-and-out motions if that feels comfortable, or slightly wiggle side-to-side to massage and relax the anus.
Anal penetration can directly stimulate the prostate if you have a penis. If you have a vagina, anal penetration can indirectly stimulate its sensitive front wall, which some call the G-spot. Both the prostate and this front wall are typically located about two to three inches inside the body on the belly side, so angle the insertable up and toward the belly at a medium-to-shallow depth to stimulate them.
Short strokes are ideal if you’re using a dildo or penis, and “come hither” or side-to-side motions work great if you're using fingers. Be sure to not prod or poke at this area, especially if you’re stimulating the prostate because it can feel incredibly uncomfortable for the receiver.
Even if you’re already familiar with "G-Spot" stimulation, you might find this new method of indirect stimulation even more delicious than stimulation via the vaginal canal (and I know many folks who prefer it, in fact). And remember that just because you're focusing on the booty doesn't mean you should neglect other parts of the body: Stimulating the clit with a hand or toy during anal penetration can make for a delightful combo.
At the end of the day, when it comes to anal sex, do what makes your body feel good. And don’t give up if your first attempt isn't immediately wonderful: This type of play can have a bit of a learning curve, so go at your own pace, communicate with your partner, and enjoy the ride.
Now, watch Rachel Bloom's delightful song about orgasms:
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Anal Training: An Illustrated Guide
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Are you curious about exploring anal sex but scared that it will hurt too much? The SECRET to making backdoor sex feel unbelievably great is a little-known practice called anal training !
If you want to learn how to enjoy anal training – either by yourself or with a partner – then you’ve come to the perfect place! In this illustrated guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about training yourself or your partner to enjoy anal penetration.
After reading this guide, your sex life will never be the same again…
This guide has something for everyone – no matter your gender or sexual orientation. If you want to learn how to enjoy anal sex, without pain or discomfort , then keep reading…
Here, you’ll find a treasure trove of helpful suggestions and proven techniques that will help make your training safe, hygienic and, most importantly, fun! This guide is a MUST READ for anyone who wants to learn how to start anal play and unlock the pleasures of backdoor penetration!
As anal play and anal sex carries inherent risks, please read our disclaimer:
This guide is strictly for information and entertainment purposes only. Schoolofsquirt.com does not endorse any of the practices discussed herein. All opinions expressed are those of the writer and have not been written or reviewed by a physician or healthcare professional. Always abide by the laws of your country.
Anal training is the practice of training the anus and the muscles around the anal canal to relax during anal penetration or anal sex. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not designed to be penetrated and doesn’t self-lubricate, so training is an essential part of preparing for anal sex.
The goal is to help an individual become comfortable with being penetrated anally and to make anal sex feel more pleasurable . Anal training covers a wide range of practices, from anilingus (oral sex on the anus) to fingering, fisting, and using toys such as butt plugs, anal wands, anal beads, vibrators, dildos, and prostate massagers.
This can be a solo activity, where an individual explores their own body and stretches the limits of what their butt can accommodate. It can also be done with a partner, either during mutual masturbation , foreplay or within a power relationship where one partner actively ‘trains’ the other, or instructs them to train themselves.
If you want to experience enjoyable anal sex , training is a MUST.
Pre-training makes anal sex far more enjoyable and greatly reduces the chances of it being painful for the receiving partner.
Both men and women can orgasm during anal sex, but only if they are relaxed and comfortable. Training helps make the receiving partner more relaxed and therefore more likely to achieve an orgasm during butt play and anal sex.
Engaging in anal sex without training first is incredibly risky and can lead to painful, and sometimes permanent, injuries, such as rectal prolapses and incontinence. By taking the proper precautions, training is the best way to reduce or eliminate the risks associated with anal penetration and anal sex.
Before we dive into the fun stuff like fingering and toys, we need to explore some important anatomical areas first. If this seems like a yawn, did we mention that this will help you and your partner achieve stronger, more powerful orgasms ?
Listen. Whatever your gender or sexual orientation, some aspects of your anal canal anatomy will be exactly the same as everyone else, so let’s discuss those areas first!
The anus marks the opening of the anal canal and is made from soft tissue that is PACKED full of sensitive nerve endings! The anus is one of the body’s HOTTEST erogenous zones and feels toe-curlingly good if it’s touched in the right way…
However, touching the anus can also cause quite a lot of pain if you don’t know what you’re doing!
Venture a few inches inside the anal canal and you’ll find the Dentate line, beyond which is the rectum. The rectum is about eight or nine inches long and has far fewer nerve endings that the anal canal or anus.
Before trying any form of butt play, you should know that :
Next, let’s look at the two main muscles in the anal area – the internal sphincter and the external sphincter . The inner surface of the anal canal is actually part of the internal sphincter . This is made up of layers of circular muscle tissue. The layer of striated muscle that surrounds this is the external sphincter .
While everyone’s anal anatomy is virtually identical, there are some crucial differences in the ways that men and women experience pleasure. If you or your partner is female, you’ll need to be familiar with female internal anal anatomy, which looks like this…
When most people think of the clitoris, they tend to think only of the visible head, known as the glans, at the top of the vulva where the inner labia meet. However, the clitoris is actually a spongy shaft that reaches almost five inches inside a woman’s body. In fact, the average clit is the same length as the average penis! The clitoral shaft splits into two ‘legs’ that run underneath the labia and reach as far back as the abdomen.
If you or your partner is female and you’re interested in getting the maximum pleasure from anal, the most important area to know about is the A-spot or Anterior Fornix Erogenous zone . This is a small area at the back of the vagina near the cervix. The A-spot is actually part of the clitoris and can be stimulated during anal play and anal sex!
Men don’t
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