First Pussy Stories
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First Pussy Stories
By
Mélanie Berliet ,
April 22nd 2015
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1. “It was definitely a shock to be down there for the first time staring straight at this beautiful thing I’d wanted to see and smell and taste in real life for so damn long. I remember thinking, ‘There’s a little more skin than I thought there’d be, but whatever, man, life’s awesome!’”
2. “The first girl I ever dated was the wettest I’ve ever dated. I refused to wash my hands for days after I fingered her for the first time. I just kept smelling them and patting myself on the back for being such a stud. I didn’t learn the hard truth that most women don’t get excited that easily until I got dumped junior year and I had to date other people. Ignorance really is bliss.”
3. “I didn’t have a typical first vagina experience. When I was 13, my 18-year-old drug addict brother took me to an underground strip club in New York. I’m not sure why he invited me—maybe his junky buddies were all busy or something—but I wasn’t about to say no. Everything about that night was awesome. I got ten lap dances from a butt naked blond chick with the most rocking body. Since the place was illegal, you could touch the girls, and I distinctly remember the moment I slipped my hand between the dancer’s legs. She was hairless! Luckily it was too dark for anyone to see that I came in my pants pretty much immediately.”
4. “The first girl I went down on smelled a little off to me. It’s not that she smelled bad , but she definitely didn’t smell good , either. Must’ve been a case of mismatched pheromones, but I developed a complex about going down on women for a while after that. I got over my fear when I started dating my current girlfriend. It was like I was made to dive inside her every day for the rest of my life. I love her from head to toe—and especially when her legs are spread.”
5. “There’s so much hype over the whole clitoris thing—like you’re an idiot or less of a man if you can’t locate this tiny little part of a woman’s body within seconds of getting naked in bed. By the time I got my first up-close look at a vagina, I was in college and I’d psyched myself out about having no clit radar. I was wedged between some Philosophy major’s thighs, inches away from her pink fleshy folds, but I couldn’t see anything especially clirtoris-like, so I panicked. I told the girl I had a stomachache and ran out of her dorm room to fake retch in the bathroom. I never even went back to say good-bye. Years later I met a really nice woman who was willing to instruct me in some key aspects of female biology. We’re not together, but I’ll be grateful to her forever.”
6. “My first vagina got sopping wet as soon as I touched it. I have a knack for that shit. I’ve been making women scream since the day I lost my virginity back in ’01.”
7. “As a guy, you’ve got this preformed idea about what it means to be turned on since day one of jerking off. You get aroused, and then your dick gets bigger and harder. It’d be nice if there was some kind of obvious indicator like that in the female sex. Seeing my first vagina made me realize just how mysterious they are. Some are easier to read than others, but they’re all pretty fucking complicated.”
8. “I was paranoid about being a failure in bed, so I did a ton of research in my early teens. I read everything I could about how to pleasure women. I probably knew more about vulvas than most of the girls I went to high school with. What I’m saying is, I was prepared when I met my first vagina—I knew how to touch, lick, and appreciate it without rushing—and and I aced my first lady exam as a result.”
9. “Yum. That’s all I have to say about that.”
10. “I grew up in a really conservative town in the south where it’s definitely not okay to be gay. From an early age I knew I was different from the other boys in my class, but I had no idea how, exactly. For years, I avoided dating altogether. But senior year of high school, I asked a girl to prom, figuring it was time to lose my virginity. As soon as I forced myself to slide my hand down my date’s panties to touch her vagina, I knew with 100 percent certainty that I was homosexual. It was terrifying and liberating at the same time. I fiddled with her for a bit, just to be a gentleman, but I haven’t been that close to one since, and I can’t say I miss them.”
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A man was taking his 16 year old son fishing for his birthday. They paddled out on the lake and started fishing. the boys father asked the son if he had his first piece of pussy yet and the boy said no so the father says well son heres $75 go to the house get cleaned up and go to town to the whore house and get your first piece of pussy. The boy with a big smile on his face say ok. After being dropped off back at the dock the boys runs home takes a shower and gets dressed when the boys grandma walks. Grandma asks "what u getting all dressed up for sonny" the boy tells her what hes doing. Grand ma says "well hell son u give me the $75 and i'll give you your first piece of pussy and it will save u the trip to town. Boy thinks about it for a minute and says ok. so he fucks his grandma. Later that day the boy goes back to the dock and yells out to his dad. As they paddled back out both with big smiles on their faces the father asks " so did u get your fir
so did u get your first piece of pussy? The boy yes sir and it was good too? Dad- "so which of those ladies did u get?" boy- "well dad i didnt have to go to the whore house, grandma told me to give her the money and she would give me my first piece of pussy" dad yells "you mean to tell me that u fuck my mom" boy- "hell daddy u fucked mine
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No matter how much advice you received from friends, family and school, no one can ever really prepare you for that first break-up, how to go about your first kiss or what on earth to do when womanhood approaches you in the form of blood flowing from your nether regions. Our pubescent years are filled with tackling these ground-breaking life events in our very different ways, some of which we don’t always find comfortable to talk about. I sat down with a plethora of ladies and questioned them on just a few of the highs and lows of ‘femaleness’ and their experiences.
‘I did kiss someone when I was 3 but I don’t think that counts (it was magical). It happened again when I was 13 with a disgusting boy at a party, it was like a washing machine and then I was gone with the wind (again, magical).’
‘When I was 18, at a house party. He asked me if I’d like to go out for some air. At this point, I had no idea what going out for air meant. He just pushed his face into mine and frankly, it was awful. But he’s now gay so I feel like it’s all worked out for the best.’
‘He was my boyfriend in year 9. We’d been out in the park, he walked me home and we kissed on my front door step. Worst moment of my life, and I don’t think I kissed another boy for a year.’
‘I was 13 and it was on Wandsworth Common where everyone used to go and just get really drunk. Some creepy guy dragged me off and I swear, his tongue explored my face in its entirety. S C A R R E D.’
‘I was 12, nearly 13 and it just happened in John Lewis. Very middle class.’
‘We were on a family holiday in the summer after Year 8. One day, I had a massive argument with my mum because she didn’t like me buying boys’ clothes. That same day, I just started bleeding. Cried on the bathroom floor for hours. The sheer irony of that day still gets me.’
‘I was 11 and I didn’t know what a period was. I cried because I thought I was dying and then thought I was pregnant. Cried to my mum and told her what happened. She hugged me, congratulated me on being a woman and then promptly called all the females in my family. When I came home from school that day, my brother had found out and was discovered sat on the bathroom floor crying whilst looking at pictures of me as a small child.’
‘I got mine when I was 8 or 9 and told my mum who then slapped me across the face. Apparently it’s tradition.’
‘Mine was in year 7. I remember I was in History and needed to go to the toilet. When I got up, I accidentally flashed all my friends but didn’t really think anything of it. It was when I got to the toilet that I realised I had started my period. Half my class had seen my bloody knickers.’
First time you shaved or waxed your lady-garden?
‘I think I was going to a party when I was like 15 and some people were allowed to stay over. I’m not sure what I thought would happen but I wanted to be prepared at all costs, so I stole my mum’s blunt razor and got to work. It was a real hack job. I then stayed away from boys at all costs, no one needed to see that.’
‘Don’t remember when it actually happened but girls started talking about it so I went home and gave shaving a try. Probably for the best because I got fingered a week later.’
‘I actually went for the scissors first. I wasn’t really looking and cut myself a few times which fucking hurt. Then I found my dad’s razor and ended up with a terrible shaving rash and war wounds.’
‘I was 14 or 15. I had a free house, and this guy came round. We were getting drunk and getting off with one another. Things started getting hot and heavy so I told him that I needed the toilet and I locked myself in and shaved literally everything including my forearms.’
‘I remember my first time because I was in the bath and the shower head ended up between my legs and was feeling quite nice. Got quite into it and then the shower head came off.’
‘I was pretty young, between 10 and 12, and I didn’t know what I was doing. It involved a pillow. I was basically dry-humping a pillow. My mum walked in. It was under covers but she knew. She. Knew.’
‘I think I was 15 and this girl had sent a video of herself masturbating to a boy, who in turn ended up sharing it with everyone. Me and my group of friends were like, “well, gonna give this a go and see what all the fuss is it about”.’
‘It was a very long time ago and I thought it was the most incredible thing in the history of the world and thought no one else could do it, almost like a secret power. Used to do it all the time and then slowed it down, because it was getting weird.’
First time you did anything sexual with a boy
‘I was 16 with a long term boyfriend. He fingered me and that was it. It was pretty good, I can’t really remember it if I’m being honest, all I know is I didn’t want to touch his penis.’
‘Everything happened on the same night. It was so painful, we just went from one thing to another. Finger, penis, done, ouch. He got a condom from his parents’ room which I realise now is really weird. I was in so much pain afterwards and then ran to the toilet and cried. Then he bought me Ben and Jerry’s which we ate in bed. Cute.’
‘Kinda half gave someone a hand-job in an ICT lesson. Classic.’
‘It was on a beanbag in my mate’s house and it was weird because my hand was down his trousers, holding his penis but I didn’t know what to do with it. You know at primary school when you’d have to put your hand in a bag and try to figure out what was in your hand? It was like that. Like a blind man trying to peel a carrot.’
‘After 3 attempts of trying and failed miserably to have sex, we gave it another go. We were passionately kissing, clothes were off, he was on top and then next thing you know, he whispered in my ear that it was in. To which I responded ‘really?’ Afterwards, I sang ‘Like a Virgin’ by Madonna.’
‘It was actually not bad, it obviously hurt a bit. Bled a bit but not a lot because I dance. The next day when I was getting the train from his back to mine, I remember being at the train station and feeling really aware that everyone knew what I had done.’
‘I’d had sexual relations with a boy about 5 minutes beforehand, and being the horny hunni that I am, another guy who was interested started getting off with me and we were just canoodling in a dark room. Another friend entered the room and unsuspectedly started chatting to us about X Factor. It was simply not the time nor the place so we decided to move the party to the downstairs bathroom and my first real sexual position was standing up doggy style. When it was over, I went home and cried a bit because I was really hungover.’
‘It was with my boyfriend in year 11 who I’d been together with for 8 months. I invited him round thinking that it would be the day it finally happened. We had one condom. He got really nervous and ripped it. It was not the day.’
‘It was devastating. We had an intense summer romance over 4 months. One night at Crisis I got a text from him out of the blue saying ‘I don’t think this is going to work anymore’. I didn’t speak for 5 or 6 days afterwards. He told me I had to get over it and when I stalked him on Facebook, I discovered he had gotten a girlfriend. Since then, I’ve never actually fallen for someone else.’
‘It was primary school. He was actually quite a rebel and I was attracted to the bad boy in him. I think I thought I could change him, We’d double-date with another couple and all go to the playground. But then it just fizzled out.’
‘I went to a house party. I was just not feeling the relationship anymore and he kind of brought it up whilst we were sitting with his friends. We ended up breaking up there and then but I was still staying over and had to drive him back the next day. He kept trying to spoon me in the night. It was pretty awkward.’
‘I was on holiday with my first ever proper boyfriend in Cyprus with some friends. We were all walking down the beach and he ran into the sea with my best friend’s little sister and they literally started getting off and having sex in the sea. He tried to talk to me but I was like, you’re fucking dumb. But it’s okay because he’s gay now.’
‘On Facebook chat, he was just like, this isn’t working. I got finished on Facebook chat. Minute of silence for me please.’
‘It was year 8 and I went to a friend’s party. We were all in the pool and we decided to get with each other. Some of the girls were topless. I really just don’t know.’
‘I kissed a friend at a house party because we wanted to make two of our male friends kiss. We kissed but they didn’t so we were pissed. Also, one time in Market Bar, someone was aggressively trying it on with me and I told me and my friend were in a lesbian relationship. He told me to prove it and frankly, I don’t like being called a liar. Sparks flew.’
‘I’ve never done it properly. Just a little peck but who doesn’t do that?’
‘I was on a night out and dancing, proper going for it. I was swivelling around, slut dropping and then accidentally karate punched this girl’s drink out of her hand. I was like, “so sorry I’ll buy you a drink”. So I bought her a drink and then she decided to kiss me. Didn’t really mind. The bartender was like, no PDA in this bar and proceeded to squirt the girl in the face with the soda hose. A whirlwind romance.’
First time you got horrifically drunk
‘It was on the day of our last GCSE exam. My mum kindly gave me a bottle of wine which I downed all by myself. I passed out for about 4 hours. Came about and everyone started freaking out. I staggered towards the garden. The girl whose house I was at was like ‘please don’t throw up on my mum’s garden, she just paid £400 for it.’ I was like, “I’m so sorry”, and proceeded to projectile everywhere.’
‘Me and a couple of friends went to an 18th when we were 14. Took a litre of vodka from my parents’ alcohol cabinet and drank about an eighth of it. We were all sat in the corner being sick on each other. My friend called a taxi and I was sick in my coat but fashioned it in such a manner that it was like a bag, so when the driver tried to make us pay a sickness charge, I threatened to pour it on him. That shut him up real quick.’
‘I was THAT girl at the first party of sixth form. Went to a party and was fed straight gin. My mate’s dad had to take me home, stopping on the way so I could throw up on the side of the road. My mum answered the door to witness me fall out of the car and hit my head on t
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