Finnish Porn
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Finnish Porn
By Jack Holmes Published: Aug 26, 2022
Parliament did not sign off on this tomfoolery!
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Like the Brits, the Finns should get some real scandals. Whatever happened to trying to overthrow the government?
War on the European continent. A cost-of-living crisis in Britain and beyond. The worst drought ever recorded in human history in China. All pale in comparison to the unfolding catastrophe in Finland, where Prime Minister Sanna Marin has been caught dancing and singing and allowing beautiful people to smooch in the prime ministerial manse, all in the space of a week. The 36-year-old was also accused of using drugs and promptly proved that she had not. All of this has poured into a sprawling scandal that we might call Footlooseghazi-Makeoutgate. It's enough to shake your faith in all that we hold dear.
It began with a disturbing video of Marin, the youngest ever Finnish leader when she took office at 34, singing and dancing at a party with her friends. This was immediately decried as conduct unbecoming of a prime minister. "Critics have said the PM should be focused on leading Finland during a cost-of-living crisis," Britain's Telegraph reported. Then another video was leaked, this time of Marin dancing at a club with a man who was not her husband. Is that still a thing we're pretending to care about from our politicians? No matter, moving on. Pretty soon, some Finnish media had latched onto the idea that a voice in the first video could be heard saying "flour gang," which was immediately taken to be a drug reference. Marin denied taking drugs and took a drug test. It came back negative.
But then, the following week, another video was leaked of Marin dancing up on someone at a club. And then there was the coup de grâce: the photo of two women making out in a bathroom of the Finnish PM's residence. OK, confession time: when we said there was smooching in the manse earlier, we didn't mention that the smoochers were, in one report's styling, "TOPLESS!" They even held up a sign that said "Finland" to obscure the toplessness. The photo was pulled from the TikTok of a Finnish model named Sabina Särkkä, and where exactly is the problem here? Sorry, got distracted again. It's just that, if you live in a country dominated by geriatric political leaders , you might find all of this kind of refreshing. Marin is a reasonably competent administrator by day, and someone who goes out and parties with her friends by night. Jesus! Maybe she should take up golf.
In fairness to the haters and losers, the past couple weeks have not contained the sum total of Marin's party fouls: she landed in hot water back in December 2021 for hitting the club—and leaving her phone at home!—following a possible COVID exposure. "She was initially told she did not need to isolate because she had been fully vaccinated," the BBC reports, "but later missed a text that advised her to do so." Speaking of the Beeb, the Brits' own party scandals point to why there was at least, maybe, possibly, some point to getting mad about this earlier incident. Boris Johnson's #Partygate indiscretions seem almost quaint from our vantage point over here in America, but when you factor in that the Brits actually locked down for long periods of the godforsaken pandemic, you can see why they got a bit riled up that the guy making the rules wasn't exactly abiding by them. California Governor Gavin Newsom caught flak for the same.
Still, one can't help but encourage these countries to get some real scandals. A garden party, Boris? Try overthrowing the government. Have a mob of your enthusiasts storm Parliament to keep you in power. Step it up!
OK, we're getting sidetracked. This was about the Finnish prime minister having fun with friends in her free time in unapproved ways. And while Finland is in the process of joining NATO , no less! Hold up—there's a relentless online campaign to discredit the leader of a country that's currently pursuing protection against Russian aggression? There's a steady stream of leaks of damaging information about a politician who favors a policy—NATO expansion—that the next-door neighbors consider contrary to their interests? What a coincidence! It does seem that Marin is taking on some water in the polls, and that she could be turfed out in the next election. But there's no indication that will stop Finland joining NATO, and from the outside, this could just as easily be a guerrilla advertising campaign from Finland's tourism board. Work hard play hard!
In the end, though, the best argument against Marin's behavior is that it could be used against her just as it has been. That's bad logic and bad for human freedom, but who ever said politics was concerned with any of that? Just because the Finns elected a young adult doesn't mean they can't act outraged when she behaves like a young adult, and they're really only outraged because she was pictured behaving like a young adult. Maybe that speaks to the company she keeps, though when you hit the club, it's harder to know that, too. OK, maybe she should play golf. And pick up porn stars at the turn. And use questionable schemes to pay them off. Jesus! Nobody does scandals like the world hegemon. Just follow our lead, folks.
Correction: Marin was not elected, she took office following the resignation of Prime Minister Antti Rinne.
Jack Holmes is a senior staff writer at Esquire, where he covers politics and sports. He also hosts Useful Context, a video series.
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August 24, 2022, 5:14 PM · 2 min read
Finnish politician and the 46th Prime Minister of Finland
Prime Minister Sanna Marin reacts during a meeting of the Social Democratic Party in Lahti, Finland, on Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2022. Lehtikuva/Heikki Saukkomaa via Reuters
Prime Minister Sanna Marin gestures during a meeting of the Social Democratic Party in Lahti, Finland, on Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2022. Lehtikuva/Heikki Saukkomaa via Reuters
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Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin expressed regret after a photo of two topless women kissing at her summer home was leaked on social media.
The image shows two young women lifting their shirts as they kiss with a sign saying "Finland" covering their breasts. Marin is not seen in the image.
The photo was reportedly taken in the bathroom of the prime minister's 1873 luxury villa.
"I think the picture is not appropriate, I apologize for it. Such a picture should not have been taken," Marin said of the incident, according to Finnish broadcaster YLE. Finnish media reported that she spoke with broken voice and red eyes.
"We were using the sauna facilities and the garden area, but we did not spend time inside the Kesäranta house, although the downstairs guest toilets were in use," Marin said, according to translations from The Associated Press.
Clips of Marin, 36, partying with Finnish celebrities exploded on social media following last week's leaks. Critics urged her to take a drug test following the incident, and she complied.
Marin said she took the test on Friday and the results came back negative Monday — just as new video surfaced of her dancing with a man who is not her husband.
Supporters boast Marin's frequent partying with celebrities brings youth and a sense of cool to the office, while detractors claim the public exposure and lack of professionalism is unbecoming for a world leader.
Marin is the world's youngest head-of-state. Her nighttime activities last made headlines when she appeared at a Finnish nightclub after being exposed to someone who was positive for COVID-19.
Marin says she was not impaired while at the party and did not see anyone there doing drugs.
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4 days ago Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin delivered an emotional speech on Wednesday, touting her job performance and defending her right to have a private life after leaked videos showed the leader ...
FINLAND's party-hard PM Sanna Marin apologised today after a photo emerged of two topless women kissing at her summer palace. The saucy snap heaped yet more pressure on her after she was film…
This was about the Finnish prime minister having fun with friends in her free time in unapproved ways. ... And pick up porn stars at the turn. And use questionable schemes to pay them off. Jesus ...
Sanna Marin. Finnish politician and the 46th Prime Minister of Finland. Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin expressed regret after a photo of two topless women kissing at her summer home was leaked on social media. The image shows two young women lifting their shirts as they kiss with a sign saying "Finland" covering their breasts.
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4 days ago Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin delivered an emotional speech on Wednesday, touting her job performance and defending her right to have a private life after leaked videos showed the leader ...
FINLAND's party-hard PM Sanna Marin apologised today after a photo emerged of two topless women kissing at her summer palace. The saucy snap heaped yet more pressure on her after she was film…
This was about the Finnish prime minister having fun with friends in her free time in unapproved ways. ... And pick up porn stars at the turn. And use questionable schemes to pay them off. Jesus ...
Sanna Marin. Finnish politician and the 46th Prime Minister of Finland. Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin expressed regret after a photo of two topless women kissing at her summer home was leaked on social media. The image shows two young women lifting their shirts as they kiss with a sign saying "Finland" covering their breasts.
Help your friends and family join the Duck Side!
Stay protected and informed with our privacy newsletters.
Switch to DuckDuckGo and take back your privacy!
Try our homepage that never shows these messages:
We’re carbon negative! Read our climate pledge.
The world needs an alternative to the collect-it-all business model.
Help your friends and family take back their privacy!
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