Fingering Spanking

Fingering Spanking
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There are a lot of underrated sex acts , but here’s a big one you’ve probably been ignoring: fingering. Most adults tend to forget about fingering, but I’m going to show you why I think this act deserves a place in any couple’s sexual repertoire, and give you some tips for how to do it properly.
Last month, you told us about your most overrated sex acts (sex in the great outdoors was…
This post also serves as the first installment of a new series we’re doing at Lifehacker: After Hours called Do This Tonight: sex tips you can (and should) try out as soon as you can!
Before we get into the details of how to become a fingering master, allow me to convince you why you should even bother in the first place.
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We tend to start our relationships being much more sexually creative and varied, but there’s something about having intercourse that seems to make people forget that other sexual activities are possible. Most established heterosexual couples have long since abandoned fingering. If they do it at all, they do what I call the “let-me-just-pop-my-finger-in-here-real-quick-to-make-sure-it’s-wet-enough-for-my-dick” move. Intercourse can be incredible, but it can also start to feel a little boring and predictable if it’s all you’re doing.
Having an entire sexual session where all you’re doing is fingering her can feel so refreshing and unexpected. Most women haven’t been thoroughly fingered in a very long time. For some, it might even date back to their junior high or high school days, furtively hiding in the back of the movie theater or behind the school gym. Fingering her will instantly breathe some new life into the bedroom, and will remind her that getting fingered used to feel—and can still feel—thrilling.
Every woman is different, of course, but I think many would agree that getting fingered feels phenomenal. Fingers can give much more focused, deliberate, and intense stimulation than any other body part. You can also use one hand inside of her and the other on her clitoris. The combination of internal and external sensations can feel incredible.
70% of women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Getting clitoral stimulation during intercourse is possible , but a lot of my female clients tell me they have a hard time focusing on their own pleasure during intercourse. They may feel too embarrassed to ask for clitoral stimulation, or too shy to reach down and do it themselves, and it’s logistically difficult in a lot of positions. Fingering is quite simply one of the easiest ways for women to reach orgasm. You can give her the exact kind of stimulation she needs.
If you're a woman who has a hard time climaxing during intercourse, you may be interested to know…
It’s so rare in life that we get the opportunity to just receive. Being able to soak up all of the attention without having to worry about our partner in that moment can feel like such a gift. Plus, being giving and generous towards her may evoke some warm fuzzy feelings for you, and may inspire her to reciprocate next time.
Now let’s get into the real nitty gritty of how to do the deed.
Ask her if she’ll let you finger her tonight. Build up some anticipation by sending her this article, or a sexy text. Let her know that tonight it’s going to be all about her, and her only. Tell her how excited you are to lavish attention on her gorgeous body.
Make sure your nails are trimmed and filed, and that you don’t have any bothersome hangnails. Do not cut your nails right before doing the deed, as they’ll be too sharp!
A good fingering requires good lube! I recommend high-quality silicone lubricant like Pjur Eros Bodyglide Original . Silicone lubes feel best against the skin. If you don’t have any on hand or can’t stop off at your friendly local sex shop, coconut oil can do the trick.
Spend plenty of time kissing her, slowly removing her clothes, and running your hands all over her body. Leave her underwear on, and trace your fingertips lightly over the fabric. You want her to be squirming with anticipation before actually getting down to business.
Get in a comfortable position that gives you good leverage with both hands. You can sit between her legs while she’s flat on the bed, or have her drape her legs off the edge of a bed or sofa while you kneel between her knees. Use your dominant hand on her clitoris, and your non-dominant hand inside of her. Since the clitoris is so sensitive, you’ll want your more dextrous hand on the job, but you can always switch if you want more power for the hand doing the thrusting. A safe place to start is drawing circles around her clitoris with your thumb, and using two fingers to pump in and out of her vaginal canal. Start off slow and gentle, and gradually build up to more intensity.
If you’re not sure what she likes, demonstrate two different techniques, and get her feedback about what she likes best. Ask her, “do you like it better when I fuck you with two fingers, like this… or three fingers, like this…” Here are some other techniques to try:
Fingering your lady can be an awful lot of fun. You’re completely in charge of her pleasure, and can watch her respond to your every touch. If she knows you’re enjoying yourself, she’ll have a better time too.
Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist (#78931) specializing in sex therapy. It’s her mission to take the intimidation out of sex therapy and bring the fun back into the bedroom. Have questions about sex? You can reach her at vanessa.marin@lifehacker.com , or at VMTherapy.com.
Lifehacker: After Hours is a new blog aiming to improve your sex life. Follow us on Twitter here .

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P.S. In the 50s we also saw lots of spanking in the Sunday papers. Lulu, Little Audrey, Little Iodine and lots of others, children and adults, got spanked in the comics. I think a spanking was the punchline to half the Katzenjammer Kids strips. I think they got it with sticks, too.
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Each is receiving a good spanking for very bad behavior. Each of these young ladies is very sorry for their bad behavior. Well that's a start. But you must decide how sore their bottoms are going to be before you stop. No amount of pleading, or promises to be good, should deter you from your task. You know when each has been properly punished.
STOP STOP before you get ahead of yourself. im 25 yrs old n my words may not seem useful now, but im a young mother of two beautiful boys, but if I couldve things differently I woodve. save your virginity for later in your life. babies are expensive and take up all your time. stick to making out n dry humping with clothes on.. no need to rush it youll regret it I promise
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Subject: The Soapy Finger Treatment
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Date Posted: 10:49:48 08/28/17 Mon

Did anybody else get the soapy finger treatment?
My mom is a bit eccentric, o.k., she's crazy and had some strange habits. One of them was, along with my spanking she would poke her soapy finger up my butthole. Oh it burned!
I doubt it, but did anybody else get the soapy finger treatment?

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 16:27:11 08/28/17 Mon

Sounds kind of yucky to me.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:40:47 08/29/17 Tue

Good heavens! Why did she do that?

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 07:05:49 08/29/17 Tue

I've gotten the soapy finger treatment but not from my mom and not during a spanking. My room mate has done that after I'd gotten a spanking and because I stunk so bad she threw me in the bath and scrubbed me. Not the kind of anal fingering I would hope for.
Why did your mom do that? How did she do it? How often did she do it? Did she do it because you had dirty panties? How old were you when she did that? Did you ever get a soap suppository or enemas?
Sorry about all the questions.

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[> [> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 06:10:49 09/12/17 Tue

How did she do it? Usually over her knees with my bottom on fire. Either a wet bar of soap or dip her finger in shampoo, then poke her finger up my butthole. Makes my bowels burn just to think about it.

How often did she do it? I don't know how to answer that. Not with every spanking, and I got spanked a lot.

Did she do it because you had dirty panties? You seem to have some obsession with dirty, poop stained panties. There's nothing wrong with that, just something I've observed. Not specifically for that, but if it makes you feel better, my panties haven't always been spotless.

How old were you when she did that? I guess about 9 to 25 when I got my last spanking (from my mom).

Did you ever get a soap suppository or enemas? Those too, but not that often.

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[> [> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:50:40 09/14/17 Thu

Thanks for answering.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 07:16:50 08/31/17 Thu

What was your mothers intention when doing this?

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:36:04 09/07/17 Thu

Oh yes. At first it was just for constipation, but constipation and misbehavior tend to go hand in hand, and mum knew that anal penetration (of any kind) was a greater threat for me than spanking.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 07:49:10 09/15/17 Fri

Let me also add that the after effects (burning bottom aside) last for a long time and are not pleasant. Lesson definitely learned, which may be what my mom was going for......or she was just crazy.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 03:47:55 09/20/17 Wed

I used to get an enema after every spanking. Not as a part of the punishment, but because my mother was an anti-constipation fanatic and in her opinion, constipation was a leading cause of naughty behavior. She felt that if you needed a spanking, then you certainly needed an enema too!

Sticking her finger up your butt was her way of lubing you up for the nozzle. She had a rubber glove just for this chore. It was a very thin one and bright yellow. Depending on how mad she was at you and how you took the spanking, she'd coat her index finger with Ivory soap, baby shampoo or, if she wasn't mad anymore and you hadn't fought or tried to get away, with vaseline.

She'd stick her finger all the way up your butt and massage your rectum with her finger tip while she twisted the finger back and forth and moved it in and out to spread the lube around. When she felt you were lubed enough, she'd pull her finger out, daintily remove the glove and put it in the sink, and then she'd pick up tihe nozzle (the long one with lots of holes) and ram it right up where her finger had been. Give her credit, it usually slid right in.

At this point, your fate was in your own hands. If you emptied the bag without making a fuss, you could poop it out (while mom cleaned the rubber glove and the enema equipment in the sink right next to you at a time when you desperately wanted a little privacy!) and then you were done and you could go. But if you couldn't empty the bag or made too much of a fuss, she'd be refilling the bag while you were on the toilet and then you'd go back over her knees for another one. And you might get a second spanking first!

What was really weird, sometimes you'd be so anxious to get out of there that you'd forget to put your pants back on ... which was embarrassing because mom's bed room emptied into the living room and sometimes you'd be halfway to the hall going to your room before a breeze down there where there usually wasn't a breeze would remind you that your pants were still in mom's bathroom and you were butt naked from the waist down! My brothers found that highly entertaining.

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[> [> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:33:18 09/20/17 Wed

Every spanking? How often did you get spanked? What ages were you when you got that? How did you feel about your mom when she did that? Was it just water in the enema? O.k., I'm not obsessed with dirty panties as someone had suggested on here, but did you get worse if you did? What if you couldn't hold it? How often did you get this punishment?
Sorry about all the questions.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 04:13:07 09/21/17 Thu

Maddie
Every spanking?

Every spanking I got in my mother's bedroom. That's where we got our serious spankings. They were bare bottom and there was an ajoining bathroom. She wouldn't give us enemas after minor spankings.

How often did you get spanked?

Major spankings, in the bedroom, share bottom, sometimes with a hairbrush or, God forbid, The Paddle, werent too common. Most of my hard spankings were with a hairbrush, that was mom's favorite tool, but once in a while I lucked out and she used her hand. I only got the paddle once and that was more than enough! I would guess I got the hairbrush three or four times a year and maybe one hand spanking. So four serious spankings a year from 8 to 20 - wow! Sixty? Seems hard to believe, but this wss in the fifties in a small Midwestern town where frequent and hard spankings were just accepted. I certainly knew I wasn't the only one.

What ages were you when you got that?

See above. Eight was the official starting age for serious spankings and I got plenty of warnings about that plus I saw my older sister get her first when I was about six. Saw her get marched in to moms bed room and heard the results, that is. I got my last spanking the summer before my junior year in college.

How did you feel about your mom when she did that?

I hated the spankings, but I knew that mom didnt like giving then either. We both thought that MOST of the spankings were necessary. Hard spankings were so much an accepted, everyday part of our lives back then that I would have worried if I never got spanked. I know mom would have thought she was a bad mother if she wasn't diligent with the spankings.

Was it just water in the enema?

She'd also put a couple of spoons of salt in the bag, but that was ok with me.

O.k., I'm not obsessed with dirty panties as someone had suggested on here, but did you get worse if you did?

That was never a problem in our house. Mom's thing was keeping close track of our b.m.s and getting out the bag at the slightest suspicion of constipation.

What if you couldn't hold it?

Never happened.

How often did you get this punishment?

The enemas were not the punishment! We got them because if we were so naughty we needed a spanking, then we were obviously constipated and needed to be cleaned out. That's how she thought of it, as cleaning out the toxins, not as a punishment.

If anything, we were relieved and grateful when mom put down the hairbrush and led us into the bathroom. The spanking was over!

Sorry about all the questions.

I'm glad you asked. It's fun remembering these things.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:05:27 09/22/17 Fri

Thank you mam, for the detailed answers. So you grew up in the 50's? Just to get some historical perspective, what year were you a junior? I guess spank
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