Fingering My Husband

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Fingering My Husband
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Rachel Kramer Bussel
Rachel Kramer Bussel ( rachelkramerbussel.com ) writes about sex, dating, books and pop culture.


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And it definitely helped our sex life.
For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed—that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.


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Cutting a long story short, I got fingered at my bachelorette. My friends took me to a club. We got very drunk. We met some guys. One tried it on with me but I told him I was getting married. He said that this may be my last chance for some fun. I couldn't let myself f*** him, but I let him finger my p**** on the dance floor in the middle of the club. It was so hot. But I felt guilty and suggested to my friends that we should leave (around 2am). They wanted to bring the guys back to the apartment we were staying in. Since my guy was with those guys, he came too. He ended up fingering me again on the couch in front of everyone when we got back. My legs were spread and panties pulled to one side in front of all of my friends and the other guys but I didn't care cause it felt amazing. One of the other guys got his c*** out and wanked as he watched.


Then you woke up and never had a p****


Funny...When my ex-wife's manager, and, friend of ours, had her going away party before she moved down South, she got notably drunk and I got in two separate fingerings of her moist, marvelous mound. First had her open-legged in back of mini-van, then, in my own bar at home. Had her behind my bar, and, when ex went upstairs to hit the bathroom, I pulled manager woman in and sunk my hand down her pants..She laughed, then sighed with pleasure..Wife never knew a thing.


My College son brought his room mate home for Christmas vacation and he would come in the kitchen and hear hug me every chance he got. I loved it and one morning he came in a walked up behind me and put his hand down in front pulling up my robe and fingered me good. we never went beyond that but I loved the fingering which he did every chance he got.


My neighbor fingered me last summer out in the back yard while my brothers were swimming in the pool and he made me c** three times before he quit. The following day he got me again started in fingering me drove me to my first o***** and he pulled me up holding me against him as he continued to finger me to another o***** and then I felt his c*** go between my legs as he started in fingering me he slid his c*** in my ass and I came as he shoved more and more into me making me c** on his fingers and c*** as he unloaded his c** into me his kisses on my neck him playing with me and him f****** my ass I couldn't help it I c** hard onto him and he kept me going till I almost passed out he sat me down on the Chase Lounger and he began to eat me out making me c** again and again and I told him I wanted him to f*** me and he did, oh god did he ever and he filled my puss with his c** . He kept himself in me for the longest time as he got soft he fell out of me and I let out a moan and that's when he said you love it don't you and I answered yes and that started our s** affair. It's just s** for I love another but I can't say no to him and he fingers me even when we're just talking at the fence. I let him for he makes me feel so damn good and he knows he's gonna get me later and he does. I can't refuse him no matter where we're at.


My wife worked at a bar in the next town... a work mate of hers would drive her home in the early hours and stop outside our house where he would part her legs finger her p**** until she climaxed ...l would watch her leave the car sometimes her knickers in her hand she would come straight to the bedroom where l would f*** her wide open and c** filled c*** .....loved it


You husband is lucky to have a strong willed wife who can refuse intercourse under those hot circumstances.


My kind of girl. My sons buddies have fingered me like that in front of others.

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Ok, so this is embarrassing but as the title says. My boyfriend stays over about once a week. Over half a year ago he started fingering me and I do stuff to him, but we haven't properly had sex yet. We tried once but I was too tight and it didn't work. For the last few months it's like every time he stays over I feel like I desperately want him to do it to me. I find myself constantly coming on to him and kissing him and initiating stuff because I want him to do it. Even if he does it at night I feel like I want him to do it again in the morning. If he does it and stops before I finish I get really irritated but try not to let it show. But then I keep kissing him and stuff again to see if he will do it. If he doesn't I get moody sometimes and even sometimes go to the bathroom and do it myself. It's weird, it feels like I need to. The last time he stayed over I told myself I would not do this and be normal and not initiate anything. I do this every time but I always end up doing it. Like last time he stayed over I started initiating stuff at night and he did it to me. In the morning he started doing it to me again but just as it was starting to get good he stopped. Then I felt really irritated and did stuff to him, then was kissing him and stuff and saying he was quiet but he said he wasn't in the mood. Then I got moody and was like fine then just reject me. Then I lay a while and he turned the other way and I said fine then I'm going to have a shower. I went to the bathroom and did it myself and came back and lay there and said I was too tired to shower yet. After about half an hour I started kissing him again and eventually he did it to me again. What is wrong with me?? I feel so dirty and ashamed and guilty after he leaves. I try really hard not to let any of this show because I don't want him to think I'm desperate and sometimes I turn it around and say stuff like you started it, or I only wanted to kiss you and you did it again. I've never even had sex. I seem to always be the one to initiate this stuff with him and I always tell myself not to but I end up doing it every time and then I feel angry at myself again. I do it to myself quite a lot, more than average I would say, but it is never quite as good as when he does it. But, he seems to not have a very high sex drive and doesn't even try to have sex since it didn't work ages ago. I just want to be normal and not feel like this?


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Woah you could of condensed this post to half the size - paragraphs are your best friend too. Anyway have you spoken to the boyfriend about how he feels in all this?


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( Original post by phunky_fresh )
Woah you could of condensed this post to half the size - paragraphs are your best friend too. Anyway have you spoken to the boyfriend about how he feels in all this?



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( Original post by Anonymous )
Sorry I rambled. No, I don't want him to know.



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don't make a big deal out of it it's just natural sexual desire


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You sound like the girl im seeing.

The curse of being too good I guess


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