Finger In Man Ass
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How to Finger Ass
Buttplay beginner? Ass-fingering feels awesome, and here are some tips to make it even better!
The anus is packed with nerve-endings, so ass play can be an enjoyable and intimate activity for people of all genders and orientations. Fingering ass can be a great intro to anal play as fingers are often small and agile and can provide the kind of delicate, targeted pressure that can be more challenging to achieve with a toy or a penis. Learning how to safely and skillfully finger ass can be a great addition to your sex life!
No matter which lube you love the most, you’ll be glad that you tried them all. There’s no wrong way to lube.
When it comes to ass play, a few rules always apply: start slow, start small and use plenty of lube. Make sure that your nails are well-trimmed and your hands are clean. For those who are new to ass play — and even those who are experienced — it’s vital to be gentle with the delicate tissues of the anus. In order to avoid pain or injury, talk to your partner throughout to make sure that they’re comfortable — and always be prepared to back off if it feels like too much.
Even though fingering is relatively low-risk for contracting STI’s as far as sexual activities go, it’s important to keep in mind that no sexual activity represents zero risk: if you’re playing with multiple partners, have any questions about safety, or just want to keep your hands squeaky-clean, single-use gloves (latex, or nitrile for those with latex sensitivities) or finger cots are a great way to protect yourself and your partner.
For people who are used to fingering pussy, it’s important to be mindful of the differences between a butt and a vagina: vaginal tissue is often more elastic and resilient, whereas anal tissue is more susceptible to bruising and tearing.
For people who have vulvas, infection can result when bacteria are introduced to the vagina or urethra: Even if a butt looks, feels, and smells squeaky clean, there can be a risk. So if your partner has a vulva, it’s vital to be mindful of where you’re touching and to always wash your hands thoroughly (or, better yet, change gloves!) before switching from touching/fingering the butt to the vagina.
Because feces pass through the anal canal as it exits the body, it’s unlikely you’ll encounter much of it while engaging in ass play (the rectum, where feces is stored before a bathroom break, is sealed off by the internal anal sphincter muscles). It’s true, though, that a very small amount may be present, even after a thorough cleansing. If this possibility is a deal-breaker for you or your partner, you may want to hold off on learning how to finger ass. But if you can handle a little bit of mess (and most sexual activities do get messy), extensive communication, a stash of wipes and gloves, and a sense of humor will be your best friends!
Sex therapist Dr. Tom Murray tells O.school, “The anus doesn't produce sufficient lubrication, so you'll want to use a high-quality lubricant.” Using plenty of lube can not only help to stave off pain but can also amp up the feel-good factor. If you’re using gloves or finger cots, water or silicon-based lube is the way to go, as they don’t degrade latex or nitrile. Some people prefer coconut oil or another natural lube; you can discuss with your partner and experiment to find your favorite. While saliva can work in a pinch, it often dries out fast and becomes sticky; if you plan to finger ass for more than a moment lube is the way to go.
For many people, having their ass fingered can be a lot to work up to. That’s why it’s always a good idea to start slow. Dr. Murray advises O.school readers that, “butt play is a skill to be learned. It's not a sprint. Take your time!”
You can warm your partner up by massaging or gently rubbing their butt; if they enjoy impact play, light spanking can be a great way to initiate an ass fingering session. When you’re ready to go further, you can spend some time gently sliding a finger down the length your partner’s butt crack, going progressively further until you reach their anus. Once you’re there, rub a well-lubed finger around the outside of the sphincter, taking your time to provide plenty of stroking and teasing. Playing with the anal sphincter in this way can feel incredible, as well as promoting relaxation, which is essential for any ass play involving penetration.
Once your partner is ready for you to insert a finger, apply light pressure to the outside of the anus until you feel it relax. Go deeper a little at a time, pausing to ask your partner if they want you to keep going. If the answer is an enthusiastic “Yes!” continue to slide your finger deeper with slow and steady pressure. Once you’ve gotten past the first knuckle, your partner may be ready for some in-and-out action; as with everything up to this point, proceed deliberately, with plenty of communication. Ask your partner if they’d like you to go faster or slow it down. If they’re very relaxed and crave more intensity, they may even enjoy two fingers!
When you’re first learning how to finger ass, you’ll probably want to start with your partner’s back to you for ease of access and so you can see exactly what you’re doing. Having your partner on their hands and knees with their legs spread is a great starting position. This position may not be comfortable for everyone, however; having them lie on their stomach with their butt in the air, with pillows under their hips for extra support, can promote deeper relaxation. Some people find a side-lying position, with their legs together and their knees drawn up, ideal for ass play: This position is super comfy, can be modified with pillows and bolsters for those with disabilities or injuries, and can help you to access the prostate. Try a few positions to find one you both enjoy!
Learning how to finger ass can be a fantastic way to enhance your sex life and open up new horizons of intimacy and fun. With constant communication to ensure that your partner’s relaxed and ready, short fingernails, good hygiene practices, and lube, it’s also very safe. If you want to incorporate a new way to pleasure a partner interested in anal play, learning how to finger ass is a great place to start!
Emily A. Klein (she/her) is a freelance writer with deep interests in sexuality and health. As a student of cultural anthropology, she researched and wrote about kink, abortion, harm-reduction approaches to substance use in the LGBTQ+ community, and cross-cultural understandings of gender, sexuality, and the body. She has designed and implemented a sexual health curriculum for adolescent girls, worked with foster youth and those experiencing housing insecurity, and volunteered as an emergency first responder. Her writing has appeared in The Establishment, Edible magazine, The Seattle Lesbian, Slog, and elsewhere.
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What Analingus & Rimming Really Feels Like — Plus 5 New Ways to Try It
Want to try rimming? Here’s how people say it feels like — and why they love it.
What Analingus & Rimming Really Feels Like — Plus 5 New Ways to Try It
What Analingus & Rimming Really Feels Like — Plus 5 New Ways to Try It
Regardless of gender or genitalia, analingus — oral sex performed on and around the anus, also known as rimming or giving a “rim job” — can be a very erotic and enjoyable experience. We are chock-full of nerve-endings surrounding the anus, most of which are specifically responsible for pleasure.
No matter which lube you love the most, you’ll be glad that you tried them all. There’s no wrong way to lube.
We know this to be true, but we wanted to hear it directly from the people. What does analingus feel like? What does it feel like to give it? What does it feel like to receive it? Why do they like it?
To find out, we pulled a collection of comments from a roundup of rimjob-related Reddit threads from people of all genders and sexualities, who proudly let their #IEatAss flags fly.
Whether you and your partner(s) are totally new to ass play or looking for something different, we’ve compiled some creative ways to make it out of this world.
Keep in mind that the ass doesn’t self lubricate, so don’t be afraid to incorporate saliva/spit or lube. Add some flavor to your analingus game with a body-safe, anal-friendly flavored water-based lube. Test for skin sensitivity or allergic reactions by first trying the lube on a very small patch of your skin.
Moaning while performing analingus can feel incredibly pleasurable for the receiver as they can feel the vibrations from the vocal cords. Not only does it feel wonderful, but hearing your sexual partner moaning in pleasure can be an arousing thing regardless.
Don’t forget about the other parts of the body while you’re stuffing your face with booty. Reach around and stroke your partner’s penis, if they have one, or stimulate the perineum — the area between the balls and the anus. If the receiving partner has a vulva, pay attention to the clitoris and vagina by rubbing, fingering, or adding toys.
Experimenting with different positions can be a fun way to make your ass-eating more exciting. You can try “69”ing, receiving on all fours, riding your partner’s face, receiving standing or bent over and so many more. Try out different positions and variations and find what works best and is most comfortable and pleasurable for you!
The best positions for performing or receiving analingus aren’t always naturally comfortable ones to hold. This is where sex pillows can come in. Available in a variety of shapes and sizes, sex pillows make these positions accessible, comfortable and intuitive.
Various pillows, wedges, and ramps can be used to provide neck support, back support, and hip support for either the giver and the receiver however you need it, depending on your accessibility needs.
You can also experiment with pillows and props from around your home as a cheaper alternative.
1. Never travel from the ass to the vulva, this can cause infection.
2. For safer analingus, use a dental dam, or a condom that has been cut into a dental dam.
3. Cleaning things up down there isn’t a requirement, but it might help you feel more comfortable. Freshen up with a shower, a mild, fragrance-free wash or wipe.
Remember, with open and honest communication and a fully consenting partner, trying new things in the bedroom can be a rewarding experience. You are allowed to try things out to see whether or not you like them, and you are allowed to change your mind.
Jamie J. LeClaire (they/them) is a sexuality educator, freelance writer, and consultant. Their work focuses on the intersections of pleasure-positive sexual health, queer & transgender/gender-nonconforming identity, body politics, and social justice. You can find more of their work at their website, and follow them on Instagram & Twitter.
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Everyone does the finger in the butt move now, but not that long ago, it was strictly taboo.
Just over 15 years ago, the idea of a man fingering a woman’s ass as sexual play was fairly foreign to many Americans. Literally. The 2002 edition of The Joy of Sex, the late Alex Comfort’s seminal 1972 illustrated guide to everything sexual, refers to the act as postillionage, a distinctly French (read: bizarre European libertine) tradition, with which a New York Times reviewer was, circa 2003, completely unfamiliar. It was the provenance of kink or tantric sex—wild and outré.
Yet today, man-on-woman anal fingering is functionally mainstream. It is hard to find solid data on how many people know of or experience it; most researchers don’t see the act as a sexual health priority worth studying. But anecdotes from forums across the digital world suggest it is a now common practice. Many men find anal fingering so desirable, or so routine, that for the past few years it has seemingly become common for guys to try to slip a finger up their partners’ rectums, sometimes without any prior notice or discussion, even on a first date or hookup. As Sheena Sharma wrote in 2015, “the unwelcome finger is a plague upon bedrooms across America.”
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So what changed? How and when did anal fingering go from an apparently niche act to a ho-hum part of many men’s sexual repertoires? And what about it do men find appealing? Given how little we talk about sex as a culture, much less document major shifts in our sexual practices, it is hard to say for sure. But sex experts do have a basic sense of how we normalized the finger up her butt.
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It is worth establishing that, no matter how unusual it may have seemed to many Americans just a couple decades ago, anal fingering has likely been around as long as our species. Humans are both experimental and pleasure-seeking beings; we explore our bodies, especially in the fumbling heat of sex, discovering every possible erogenous zone that we can. And the anus can be, explains sex educator Eric Garrison, an erogenous zone for any gender thanks to the tons of sensory nerves within it. It is even possible for women some women to orgasm through anal fingering, or other forms of anal play including full-on anal sex, that wind up stimulating their g-spots. (Men, of course, can also orgasm from anal fingering thanks to prostate stimulation.) So some women have likely always worked anal fingering into their masturbatory habits. And some couples have likely always worked it into their sex lives, either as a warm-up for anal sex or a stimulating end in itself.
However, the commonality of anal play of all sorts has shifted throughout history, depending on the sexual mores of a given culture or era. And America has long been hostile to anal sexuality. Religious traditions, and religiously-derived laws, frowning on sodomy long kept not only anal play but oral sex and more both taboo and, technically, illegal in much of the nation. Such taboo acts didn’t even show up often in stag films, proto-pornos of the early 20th century that indulged in seemingly modern tableaus like threesomes and quips about bestiality fairly freely.
Americans also long viewed “any type of anal sexual behavior as happening explicitly among gay men,” says sex researcher Kimberly McBride, Ph.D.. Gays as a group have long been stigmatized in this nation by religious and non-religious folk alike. (In truth, not all men who have sex with men actually enjoy or engage in anal play of any kind, and not all who do enjoy anal do it every time they get physically intimate.) On top of these cultural and moral taboos, adds McBride, Americans have long had trouble getting over the idea that the anus is irredeemably, existentially dirtier than any other part of our bodies.
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However, American taboos against anal play never actually shut off anal fingering, licking, sex, or any other form of stimulation, stresses sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D. In a sense, they may have added a new level of eroticism to it for some. Crossing lines and doing something one sees as new and daring can be, Garrison explains, a deep source of psychological stimulation. But they did send it underground, making it harder to hear about anal fingering, think about exploring one’s own butt, stumble upon anal stimulation and accept any pleasure one finds in it, or feel justified exploring it with a partner.
New cultural forces started to chip away at these taboos and draw stigmatized sexual practices out of the shadows, though during the latter half of the 20th century. There is not much information on how much the sexual revolution of the ‘60s involved a counter-culture reevaluation of the ass. But by the ‘70s, many of the first mainstream porn directors started to feature anal fingering or sex in their films. “Anything directed by Zachary Strong in the early ‘80s usually features digital-anal penetration,” notes porn historian Charles Devlin, and Harry Reems put his thumb in a few asses in his early films. Rapidly, references to anal sexuality started to leak into mainstream films as well—like Last Tango in Paris, a notorious Bernardo Burtolucci film from 1972 in which Marlon Brando’s American character anally rapes a French woman played by Maria Schneider using butter for lube. (Don’t watch it. Burtolucci sprung the scene on Schneider without notice so, while there was no actual penetration, it is actually a recorded sexual assault.)
As porn started to get more accessible moving into the ‘80s, Queen adds, sex-positive education that explored pleasure, not just the nuts and bolts of procreation, started to proliferate in parts of America as well, dissecting anal taboos and teaching people about the joys of all manner of anal play. By the mid-‘90s, the proliferation of the internet made it much easier for people across the country to discretely peruse porn, seek out diverse sexual information, and talk to each other about their experiences. As a bonus, in 2003 a milestone Supreme Court decision, Lawrence v. Texas, toppled America’s remaining anti-sodomy laws. And during the George W. Bush presidency, a series of attempts to bust porn producers on obscenity charges for depicting non-normative sex acts, like extreme anal play, fell flat. Suddenly, anal sexuality felt less legally, officially dangerous as well.
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All of these forces seemingly led to increased awareness of anal sexuality by the late ‘80s, when people like Garrison remember seeing the “shocker” hand gesture, in which men mime putting their index and middle fingers in a woman’s vagina and using their pinky to rub or penetrate her ass, used blithely by high school and college students. And by the mid-‘90s, people started to engage with anal play more actively. Preliminary research in the early 20th century suggested that maybe 10 percent of woman had tried anal sex once in their lives. By the 1990s, a fifth of all women and a quarter of all men had tried anal sex at least once, according to the research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The rate of people trying anal at least once, or working it into their regular sex lives, has only risen since then. Today, says McBr
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Finger In Man Ass
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