Findom Relationship

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Findom Relationship
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“How much do you make?” It’s often a question asked before the start of a relationship. Humans want to have a level of security, financial and otherwise. And as with most things, some have turned this into a new fetish.
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An essential guide to BDSM for beginners
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"This is a submissive person giving me money because it gives me pleasure to receive it and them a pleasure to give it."
Financial domination , also known as findom, is just one of many sexual fetishes that come under the BDSM umbrella. And, as you can probably guess from the title, it involves money - so here are all your questions about financial domination, answered.
Financial domination, also known as findom, is a sexual fetish but it's also viewed as a lifestyle, whereby 'submissives' give money and gifts to their 'dominant'. Most often, financial dominatrixes are women and their submissives are men. Findom is also considered part of BDSM , with money functioning as the ultimate power exchange between two dominant and submissive consenting people .
A crucial part of findom that makes it different to other sexual fetishes or acts is that the submissive person doesn't expect anything in exchange for their money. "The act of simply giving with no expectation of anything in return is considered the most submissive act of devotion and dedication," explains Mistress Harley, a financial dominatrix based in California. "The idea is that the submissive works to better the life of their dominant in a meaningful way."
OK, money? Check. Gifts? Check. All sounds great, right? But what do financial dominatrixes do and how are findom exchanges set up?
Mistress Harley's submissives find her via her website, Twitter account, YouTube or OnlyFans - and as with any sexual fetish, each relationship between a dominant and submissive person is different. According to Mistress Harley, some financial dominatrixes will simply receive the money that their submissives offer to them.
Meanwhile, others will take over their submissives' bank accounts and manage their budgets for them - sometimes even including assets like houses. "I made one of my submissives sell his vacation home for me and direct deposit the proceeds into my bank account," Mistress Harley explains.
Although submissives don't necessarily 'get' anything in return, Mistress Harley says that she will schedule calls with submissives if they've sent her enough money. "They can hear that they have made me happy and I can encourage them to spend even more money on me," she explains - but no messages are replied to if money hasn't been sent first.
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While financial domination is a sexual fetish, it doesn't actually involve having sex. "There is absolutely no sex and usually no touching of any kind involved," explains Mistress Harley. "This is a submissive person giving me money because it gives me pleasure to receive it and them a pleasure to give it."
Instead, if she does meet subs in person it will be to walk to a cash point so that she can take their card and withdraw any amount of money she likes. "The most I've ever allowed a submissive to touch me was to kiss my feet after spending thousands and thousands of dollars on me," she adds.
The money that a financial dominatrix earns depends on the set-up that she has with a submissive. Relationships can vary from anonymous one-off payments to longer-term relationships where submissives pay a weekly or monthly fee for their dominant to "acknowledge their existence."
"It's very normal for me to make $5000 to $10,000 a day"
Sometimes, long-term relationships will evolve into the submissive giving the dominant total control over their bank accounts and properties. In some cases, Mistress Harley says she has even been given financial power of attorney for a submissive, as well as being listed as their sole inheritor in their will.
At the lower end of the scale, Mistress Harley can earn $100 (around £75) for a 10-minute phone call, video call, message exchange or an account takeover. However, "it's very normal for me to make $5000 to $10,000 a day," she adds. "So far my most impressive day was when I received $1.3 million," she continues, which was for the aforementioned holiday home, something she calls 'extreme findom'.
While the perks for financial dominatrixes are fairly obvious, what is the appeal of financial domination for submissives?
"Financial submissives enjoy knowing that they are sacrificing their own resources for the pleasure and betterment of someone they perceive to be their Superior," explains Mistress Harley.
"If they get anything in return for their submission it is that they are purchasing the feeling of excitement and fulfilment that they receive from giving their money to a beautiful woman. And many of them receive feelings of sexual gratification from sending money."
There's also a gendered element to it. Mistress Harley says that the vast majority of her submissives are cisgender men, although she also speaks to trans women and trans men.
"Financial domination is focused around what I want and my pleasure as opposed to traditional relationships where there is an exchange between parties. It turns traditional relations between the sexes on its head.
"So many women are raised to believe that it's their job to please a man and that if a man spends money on them, then they owe that man something. But with findom I don't have to give anything back in return. For me, it's the ultimate power exchange."
You can follow Mistress Harley on Twitter and visit her website here .
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Goddess Dani
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A lot of people think that financial domination is an easy way to get willing men and women to send you money without expecting anything back. While it appears to be an alternative to a sugar Daddy/ sugar baby relationship, it’s important to note that financial domination is a lifestyle and the finDom/sub relationship is just like any other Dom/sub (D/s) relationship.
Let’s break down some of the most common terms used in the financial domination community:
Aftercare occurs after a play scene or a session, where a Dom ensures that their sub is feeling okay physically, mentally, and emotionally. They should also make sure that both parties enjoyed themselves and consented to everything that happened during the session.
Alpha is another term for the Dom in a D/s relationship.
Beta is another term for a submissive.
A cash meet or cash point meet is an in-person meeting between a Dominant and submissive to provide money or pay for items during shopping.
A collar is a symbol used to show that a submissive is owned by a Dominant.
Consent is a mutual agreement to a relationship, play scene, or session.
Dom/Domme is another term for the Dominant in a D/s relationship.
Domspace is a mindset that a Dominant experiences during a play scene or session.
A gift slave is a submissive that is expected to send gifts or purchase things off of a wishlist for the Dominant without the expectation of receiving anything in return.
A hard limit is something that a Dom or sub refuses to try during a session.
A human ATM typically refers to a sub that is requested to give money to a Dom at any time.
A slave that is owned belongs to a Dom and is typically considered property of the Dom.
A paypig or pay slave is a submissive that is expected to send money to the Dominant with no expectation of receiving anything in return.
A Retweet game is a submissive game that occurs on Twitter, where a Dominant and submissive agree to an amount the submissive must pay for each like, retweet, and comment during a certain amount of time.
A rinse or wallet rinse occurs when a Dominant repeatedly takes money from a submissive, rather than having them send one large tribute.
A safeword is a word or phrase used during a session to describe a limit being approached, a limit being reached, or that the current play needs to stop.
Slave is another term for the submissive in a D/s relationship. Typically, a slave will offer complete control to their Dom, doing whatever te Dom says with no negotiation.
A soft limit is something that the Dom or sub is hesitant to try during a session.
Sub is another term for the submissive in a D/s relationship.
A subspace is a mindset that a submissive experiences during a play scene or session.
A total power exchange is a D/s relationship that is 24/7, where the Dominant has complete control over the submissive.
A tribute is a payment, wishlist purchase, or gift card sent to a Dominant with no expectation of anything in return.
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Home Curiosity Findom Stories: The Rise of Financial Domination
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Whether or not you go ahead and ask it, there is one question on everyone’s mind when meeting somebody for the first time:
Contrary to popular belief, our obsession with other people’s income and wealth has nothing to do with blind curiosity. According to most psychologists, the desire to establish another person’s financial status is wired deeply into our subconsciousness.
Apparently, it is all to do with the fact that human beings associate wealth with stability, safety, security and success. And when a person achieves all four of these things, we are instinctively drawn to them – over and above people who are poor and struggling to get by.
Whether or not this is true be the case is open to endless debate. But it nonetheless explains how and why some people have been able to transform the whole thing into a new and potentially lucrative fetish.
Findom Stories have been hitting the headlines all over the world as of late, but what exactly is this new and undeniably compelling kink all about? Let’s take a look.
The term Findom is short for ‘financial domination’, which is actually a pretty clear and concise description of what it involves. Though impossible to understand by many people, there are a lot of men and women who get a major kick out of letting people use them for money.
It has been described by some people as the rich man’s version of BDSM, wherein the client and the Domme never actually meet in person.
Broken down to the very basics, a Findom relationship involves a client (usually a man) wiring money to a woman online. In return, the man may occasionally be sent a provocative selfie or a short video clip, but for the most part receives nothing but verbal abuse, threats and insults from their Domme.
Live interactions may take place via webcam, but the overwhelming majority of Findom relationships exclude in-person meetings from the equation altogether.
And it is a segment of the sector that is proving both popular and lucrative for those taking part. From the odd few dollars here and there to payments of more than $10,000 in a single transfer, some men are willing to pay a lot for these kinds of services.
Read just a handful of Findom Stories online and you will instantly see just how serious the whole thing is. These guys and girls are not playing around – it is big business and an immensely popular arm of the adult entertainment industry.
As for where the appeal of the whole thing lies, it is technically no different to any other form of BDSM . Some men get immense pleasure out of surrendering themselves to other people and allowing themselves to be humiliated.
The difference being that in this instance, physical humiliation and pain are replaced with a sort of capitalistic masochism. Dommes in the Findom business know exactly how to weaponize a person’s finances against them, in order to satisfy their cravings for domination.
Payments are demanded, insults are hurled and threats are made in the event of non-payment. Over the course of time, the relationship develops into something more satisfying that the client would ever encounter elsewhere.
And just as long as they have the bankroll to cover the whole thing, it is a comparatively low-risk form of BDSM. At least in the physical sense, given how no physical encounters occur.
It can be difficult to understand the allure of this kind of relationship , if it doesn’t appeal to you personally. Nevertheless, it becomes at least slightly easier to comprehend when taking into account just how obsessed with money today’s capitalist society is.
For many – if not most – money is the single most important thing in life. It makes the world go round and can get your anything you want, if you have enough of it. Some say money can’t buy happiness – those who get a kick out of Findom would argue quite the contrary!
In any case, human beings are preprogrammed to appreciate occasionally relinquishing control and taking a backseat. It is just that for some, this goes a pretty huge step further to become a major sexual kink.
For those in this latter bracket, the pickings have never been richer as the Findom sector continues to go from strength to strength all over the world.
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from health, nutrition and psychology.
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