Find Friends Online Without Registration
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Find Friends Online Without Registration
February 27, 2019 Viktor Sander B.Sc., B.A.Last updated February 12, 2021
Making friends online can be one of the easiest and most rewarding ways to enrich your social life. But for many, online friendship is just a blank page. In this guide, we got you covered.
But how do you do this in practice? Let’s dive in.
To find friends online who are more like you, the first step is to find the right network for you. By choosing a network with like-minded people, you will find more people who interest you, and others will also be more interested in you.
Here are my best tips on where to find like-minded friends online:
The reason I recommend joining a small community is that it’s a lot easier to make a connection there. In a small community, each member is important to keep the community alive and people will want to include you as much as possible. In a large community, you blend in with the crowd and people might not even recognize you unless you’re a long-time member.
Gaming with others online is one of the easiest ways to make friends online. The reason I say it’s easy is because you always have something to talk about – the game you both like. And you can even play it together if it’s an online game!
And if there’s ever a lull in your gaming conversations, you can turn it more personal and get to know your gaming friends.
In almost every game there’s a community you can join. Smaller communities are usually better. Look up if they have a Discord server you can join, or even better, join a clan if it’s a multiplayer game. There are usually groups both for casual and hardcore gamers.
Personally, I’m really into edible plants and orchids. So, I joined a few local groups about those subjects on Facebook. And I’ve found many friends through these groups that I know would be happy to have me visit them. We could talk about plants all day together.
I’ve done something similar on Instagram, where I have an account only dedicated to one of my interests (plants), and I mostly follow other plant-nerds.
After some time, maybe a few days or weeks, you start getting to know each other by asking questions and liking each other’s pictures.
Then, if you want to meet, it’s perfectly natural to send them a message and ask them if they would like to eat out together/have a beer and talk about your common interest. I’ll describe it in more detail further down.
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If you like online dating, this can be a great alternative. It’s fast and easy, but the downside is that it’s also “fast and easy” to just stop responding.
So, there’s an element of rejection here that can be tough to deal with for some. But if you know you can take a couple of “no’s” before you find a new friend, it’s worth a shot.
Here are examples of how you can start a conversation on different online platforms and also how to meet up IRL.
In a Facebook group, the main activity is usually to share pictures or content with the group. Make sure to engage regularly on those pieces of content, leave a like and a comment or question.
The comment can be short and positive, like: “Nice!” or “I love that!”. A question is even better if there’s something you are genuinely curious about in the shared content.
After a few days to a few weeks of being active in the group, you’ll start to recognize people (and they’ll recognize you). That means it’s a good time to take some more initiative.
Often there’s already some sort of regular meetup you can join, but if there aren’t, there are alternatives.
For example, you could arrange a local meeting at a café to discuss your mutual interest for anyone in your group who’s interested. Or you could write privately to someone and ask if they want to meet up and discuss your interest.
Instagram is quite similar to Facebook, but there’s no clear group to follow there. Instead, I recommend you follow people who share some sort of niche interest with you.
For example, I’m into growing my own food, so I follow some local enthusiasts in my city. I regularly like their posts, and leave a reflection or question about it if I come up with anything.
Now, we know each other a bit better, and it’s only natural to message them (if I want to meet them). So, for example, I could send a message like this:
“Hi, I love what you’ve done with your garden! I’m especially curious about your fig tree. I’d love to visit your garden sometime in the coming weeks if you’re open to it?”
“Hi, I’m so curious about your orchids. Can I buy you lunch this weekend? I’d love to learn more about your collection!”
It doesn’t need to be more complicated like that. Not everyone’s going to say yes, but from my experience, a surprising number of people would LOVE to meet up with someone like-minded.
On Discord, you’re usually part of a “chat group”. It could be a large group of several hundred people, or it could be a small group of friends who game together. (I recommend the latter, smaller groups are better to make friends, but large ones can work too.)
So when you’ve joined a group, it’s not so much about starting a conversation. It’s more about participating in the conversations that come up. At first, you can talk mostly about the game your playing and ask for advice on it. But after a while, once you’ve got to know your online gaming friends a bit better, you can start to ask more personal questions.
And from there, you can even invite just one person to play together. It’s a lot easier to get to know someone when it’s just you two. Then you also have lots to talk about the game you play, so the conversation never runs dry.
After that, you can start reading other people’s profiles to see if you seem to have a lot in common.
When you find someone you like, it’s time to message them. (P.S. Try to message at least 5-10 people to start off, not everyone will be a good match.)
Here are some examples of how you can start a conversation on a friend dating app or website:
“Hi, how are you? I see we have a lot in common. I would love to get to know you better! Check out my profile and see if we match :)”
“Hello, I see you also love Disney movies. It would be fun to go watch the upcoming new Disney movie together at the cinema. Check out my profile to see if we match 🙂 Have a great day!”
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After your first message, they’ll respond if they think you match too and it should be relatively straightforward to set up a meeting after that. You don’t need to chat too much unless you want to because you are both there to meet new friends.
Many people are afraid of scaring people off because they seem too needy. Here are some of the biggest mistakes I often see.
What I mean by this is that you should try to keep in touch with several potential friends at the same time. That way you don’t get too attached to the outcome of any single one, because there’s always someone else you can meet up or chat with.
It also makes sure you don’t invest far more energy and feelings than the other person. This makes it so that you’re both on equal ground and neither of you feels pressured.
5 Signs that you’re investing more in the relationship than your online friend:
Most people who work or study don’t have time (or energy) to answer their messages within hours of receiving them. Sometimes it can take a couple of days to get a reply, and in most cases, that’s perfectly normal and fine. Especially in new friendships.
The problems start if you get whiny or complain that they don’t reply quick enough. That signals to the other person that you’re needy or very demanding which is a big turn off. It shouldn’t feel like a chore to reply quickly just to avoid conflict.
If you feel anxious that someone isn’t replying, take a step back and focus on other people in your life.
When you’re trying to make friends online, it’s normal to ask if people want to meet up pretty quickly. So never be afraid to ask. But if you get a no or a maybe, take a step back and forget about meeting up for a while.
It can often be better to step back and not push the issue. Let your friend develop more of a desire to meet up with you first. Let them take some initiatives (even if it takes time).
If you get impatient, ask someone else instead. That way your potential friend who doesn’t want to meet up right now won’t feel pressured into meeting with you. You never want someone to feel pressured to be with you because then they’ll start associating you with that bad feeling of neediness and desperation.
Opening up is good, it’s even essential to form a close connection. But opening up needs to be mutual. If you’re the only one sharing, you are going to feel a lot closer to your friend than they feel close to you.
Make sure you also focus on getting to know the other person and open up more about yourself at an equal pace as they are.
Tip: The opposite mistake (that’s just as common) is to not open up at all. If you relate to that, here’s a great guide on how you can learn to open up to others.
Two of the most important principles to become friends with someone is to make them feel heard and appreciated. If you talk too much about yourself, you deny both those principles.
An easy rule of thumb is the 50/50 rule:
Aim to talk about as much as you listen.
By following the 50/50-rule, you make sure your friend feels heard and appreciated around you.
This mistake goes in line with the principle of investing equally much into your online friendship. It’s not wrong to write long answers, but make sure it’s mutual and that your friend is writing about as much.
For example, if your friend replies with a few sentences, and you reply with a small novel, your friend might feel overwhelmed. It demands a lot for them to reply thoughtfully, which they might not have the time or energy for, and then that makes them avoid you or try to cut the conversation short.
My rule of thumb early on in a new friendship is this:
Keep your messages about as long as the other person’s.
That way you build your friendship on an equal basis where you both feel like you’re on the same level. You won’t feel resentful because their replies are too short, and they won’t feel pressured into writing more than they have energy for.
Finally, it’s impossible to win them all. You will get rejected and some relationships will never amount to anything. But all it takes is a deep connection with one person and you got a friend for life.
The secret to making a conversation interesting is to find commonalities. A commonality could be anything from growing up in the same city, to sharing the same passion for role-playing games.
The advantage online compared to real life is that you usually know a lot more about the other person from the start. You can often read their online profile to see what interests you have in common before you even start talking.
Use that information to make your conversations more interesting.
For example, if someone is interested in the same tv-show as you, you can ask:
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By focusing on your common interests, the conversation becomes more interesting for both of you. And then, you start getting a connection which we’ll talk more about in the next point.
Click here to read our full guide on how to find commonalities and make interesting conversation.
Here’s a quick trick to make deeper conversation that helps you bond faster.
Instead of asking about the subject, example:
“Where do you live?”
Ask about their relationship to the subject, example:
“What do you think about your place of living?”
By asking about someone’s relationship to the subject, you make a deeper and more meaningful conversation. This is what I call Personal mode. When you’ve switched to personal mode, it gets easier to ask more personal questions which helps you bond even faster.
Here are some examples of even more personal questions:
Note that it’s also important to share equally much about yourself to bond.
Read more about bonding with friends here:
Once you have chosen the social media platform(s) that you will use to make friends online, it’s time to work on your profile. Your profile is an important part of the online friendship process because it is your virtual first impression– it is the first thing people will notice about you and can determine whether they have an interest in developing a friendship with you or not.
The first step to creating an interesting profile is your username. Some social media networks require you to use your real name (like Facebook), in which case you have one less thing to worry about.
But on others, such as chat rooms and many apps, your username will be your primary identifier.
A good username is unique and tells other users something about yourself. “PizzaGirl85” is not a very original username because it tells other users nothing more than 1) you probably like pizza (but who doesn’t) and 2) 1985 was probably a significant year for you for some reason.
“SciFiAdam” is an example of a more unique and interesting username because 1) it tells other users you’re interested in science fiction, which will draw other science fiction fans to you, and 2) your name is Adam, which distinguishes you from other science fiction fans/users with “sci-fi” in their usernames.
Another tip on usernames is this: If you use or plan to use multiple sites or apps, it can be a good idea to keep the same username across the different networks. Since your username is your “Internet name,” consistency between platforms will make you recognizable and can help other users who may also use multiple sites identify you more easily (which will increase your chances of being befriended by them).
Once you have chosen a username, most sites and apps will give you the opportunity to write a bio or “About Me.” Always take advantage of the “About Me” feature. On the surface, the “About Me” section is simply a place to tell people about yourself, but in reality, this section is your “sales pitch” to potential friends.
If someone is drawn to your profile from your username or posts you’ve made in chat rooms/other online social spaces, your “About Me” will let them know if you have enough in common to make getting to know you worthwhile.
“My name is Amanda Haworth, and I’m 24 and married with two dogs and a cat. I love anything to do with words, and my passion for reading and writing, as well as my fascination with human psychological development, is what led me to be a teacher specializing in the early childhood years.
In addition to expressing myself through writing, I also love to express myself through other forms of creativity such as painting, sewing, and crocheting. I’m interested in pretty much anything your grandma likes (call me an old soul)– woolen socks, a fresh pot of coffee, card games, movies taking place in the WWII era, and really thick books.
I’m an introvert, but I enjoy having in-depth conversations with new people and would love to meet some other women in my age group to share life with! Feel free to send me a message if you want to chat :).”
Some things to take note of from my example:
Once you have your username and your “About Me,” the next step is to reach out and find your friends!
Having a great social media profile will definitely help attract new people, but when it comes to making friends, you can’t just sit back and wait for them to come to you. Now it’s time to learn how to reach out and initiate contact with people you’re interested in befriending.
Most social media networks will offer some sort of “people search” that includes filters to help you narrow down your results. These filters typically consist of the general location where users reside, their approximate distance from your location, and their gender, and some networks provide the option to also filter by marital status, age, and other factors. Using these search filters to narrow your results will help you save a lot of time when looking for friends online.
In addition to searching for people to befriend, you also need to have an active presence in the site/app you are using.
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When you first join the group/chat room/etc., make a post introducing yourself to the others. You will likely get some welcoming comments, and this is an easy way to kickstart your search for friends.
Next, maintain your presence in the virtual social sphere. If it’s a chat room, get involved in the discussions! If you’re joining a Facebook group pertaining to one of your interests, post friendly and encouraging comments on people’s pictures and posts, and make posts of your own that share your own work related to the group’s topic.
For example, if you are a member of a Facebook group for musicians in your area, comment on a video of someone playing their guitar and say, “Great job! You’re really talented,” or “Wow! I really enjoyed that! Keep it up!”
If you strike up a good conversation with someone in the group/chat room/etc., send him or her a friend request (if the site/app you are using doesn’t offer friend requests, send a direct message to continue/expand your conversation outside of the public forum).
It’s a good idea to include a personal message when sending a friend request to someone you don’t know in real life. This will allow you to explain who you are and why you’re adding them as a friend. Your message can go something like this:
“Hey [name], I’m also a member of [name of Facebook group] and I’ve really enjoyed seeing your posts about [topic]. I also love [topic] and I’d love to chat with you some more about it!”
If it’s applicable, you could also include:
When you begin having conversations about a specific topic in this way, often you will find that you and that person have other things in common as well. Your conversation will naturally branch off into other areas, and pretty soon you will find that you have a great new friend.
Click here for more tips on making conversation.
By choosing the best social media network for your needs, developing an interesting profile, and initiating contact with other users, you can quickly and easily meet many new people–both near and far–who share similar interests, values, opinions, and more.
As the Internet has increased in popularity, the number of social media networks has increased as well. Many have been short-lived (think MySpace and Vine), while others seem to be here to stay (like Facebook and Twitter).
Believe it or not, some social media networks are more conducive to making friends online than others, and researchers have already done the work for us to determine what those networks are.
When choosing a social media platform for the purpose of making friends, you should make sure it is
A reciprocal social media network is one that promotes mutual friendship instead of allowing one person to have access to, or “follow”, the other person without requiring the other person to “follow” back.
Twitter and Instagram are two examples of non-reciprocal social media networks. Both platforms allow a user to follow a person, but the person being followed may not necessarily follow back. This is great for allowing people to keep up with celebrities and political figures, but not so great for someone who is looking to develop meaningful online friendships.
Facebook, on the other hand, is reciprocal because when someone accepts a friend request both parties instantly have access to one another’s profiles and information.
According to one study on close-knit friendships developed through social networking sites, the level of reciprocity (or the two-way, mutual friendship requirement) of the site will impact the success of the friendships formed through the site.5
The other thing to look for when choosing a social media platform for making friends online is the site’s interactivity.
According to Desjarlais and Joseph, “For socially interactive technologies, messages are directed to a specific person and conversing typically occurs in real time (e.g., text and instant messaging). Such online conversations resemble [face-to-face] interactions but in a text-based form.”3
In other words, the social networking sites that are most conducive to forming new friendships will allow you to communicate with people in a way that is as similar to “real life” communication as possible.
This is opposite of socially passive technologies, which promote much longer delays between responses (such as email and direct messaging) and do not mimic face-to-face interaction as closely. It was found that these types of social technologies are much less likely to be used in forming close online friendships– or, at the very least, will significantly slow down the development of the friendship.
With as many social networking sites as there are, it can be overwhelming to sort through them in order to choose the best one (or several) for your journey in making friends online. But don’t panic- we’ve compiled a list of social networking sites and mobile apps for making friends online:
We all know that friendships are good for our health. But according to a study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, friendships formed on social networking sites can have the same emotional and psychological benefits as face-to-face friendships.1
Online friendships have been found to be particularly beneficial for people who struggle with shyness, social anxiety, or a lack of confidence in their own social skills. While these people may avoid face-to-face social settings that would provide the opportunity to make friends, the Internet provides a “safer” social setting in which alternative friendships can be formed.
In this article by Arti Patel for Global News, therapist and friendship researcher Miriam Kirmayer supports the use of the Internet to develop lasting friendships. “It can be easier to reach out, introduce yourself, and get a friendship off the ground when you know that the other person is also looking to make new friends,” she says.
According to another study, “The high sense of control and reduced social threat during online interactions have been indicated as reasons why [people] may want to find online friends.”2
But you don’t have to be shy to look to the Internet for friendship. Many people have busy schedules that prevent them from getting as much face-to-face social interaction as they would like, and others live in small towns with few people to choose from as potential friends.
“It can become increasingly difficult to make friendships as we age,” says Kirmayer. “Often times, it is a practical issue. Our schedules are busy. We are short on time. As we try to balance the various relationships and responsibilities that we have, our friendships are often the first thing to go.”
Making friends online is one way to solve the issue of time that can prevent us from developing close social relationships.
Another benefit of online friendship is the ability to make friends from different parts of the world, whom you would likely never have the opportunity to meet were it not for the Internet.
Says Ellie Larson in this blog post for A Beautiful Mess, “I think the reason [online friendships] are often MORE successful is because what’s bringing you together are common interests and passions, not proximity.”
In addition, social skills that are developed and used in the formation of online friendships (such as rapport building, making conversation, and self-disclosure) are transferable to face-to-face social settings as well.
One study found that “When using [social networks], individuals may improve upon their self-disclosure skills, including what, how much, and when to disclose personal information, which then transfers to offline interactions with peers…[this] in turn enhances the quality of existing close friendships.” (3)
For many people, the biggest concern when it comes to attempting online friendship is the issue of whether or not online friendships are as real as face-to-face friendships. A study done by ethnographer Denise M. Carter over the course of three years proves that they are.
According to sociologist Anthony Giddens, whom Carter references extensively, the three components of friendship are:
Freedom refers to the concept that friendships are chosen, unlike kinship ties which are determined by birth. Commitment is the idea that your mutual bond will withstand trials throughout time, and intimacy is the bond of trust that makes people comfortable sharing personal information (such as their secrets, struggles, and hopes for the future) with one another.
While many people question whether these three components – especially intimacy – can truly be developed online, Carter’s study shows that they can.
In fact, she says, the Internet makes it easier to develop intimate friendships because people are not bound by the social and cultural norms that may influence their face-to-face friendships, such as socioeconomic status and social hierarchy. In addition, it can be easier to open up to people online because of the security in knowing they are unable to break your confidence by sharing it with mutual acquaintances.(4)
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then online friendship may greatly benefit your social life. Keep reading to find out exactly how to do it.
Also, check out these guides on how to make friends:
Are online friendships a good option for you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Join our free training and learn these 5 secrets to making friends
Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages Socialpro’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.
I am not shy whatsoever. heres the thing. i do perfectly with talking IRL but when it comes to talking on game chats or facebook etc. etc. im not that good. what usually kills the idea of talking with people oline and having friendship is i feel like my fingers have a mind of there own. i either say something that makes me sound retarded (witch im not) or the person takes the things i say offensive. the only time i do good job with game chats is when im with girls (witch strikes me VERY odd). i feel like it should be oppisite. when i talk to boys im not so smooth. problably cause im the only boy in my faimily. my friends that r boys will joke with me and say “Your so smooth with girls and yet when ur with boys ur like an idiot” witch i just laugh with it because i no its true. i just like to be calm but i can be talkitive and eccentric at times.it depends wether i no the perso or not. ok imma rap this up. to end this all im trying to say is that talking online is not easy for me and i dont think it ever will be. but i stay try. withmany fails and a lot of sighs of frustration. but overall thats all i got.
I want a girl who is a friend and a boy friends. Ok all I want is three friends one girl and two boys ok thank you 🙏😃😀😃😁🤗😊☺️🙂
I want a girl who is a friend and a boy friends. Ok all I want is three friends
wow interesting,i love making friends ,but am afraid of making new friends on facebook coz of silly friend requests
i don’t like talking to people that much and i don’t have a lot a friends because they turn their back on me and i lose them i would love to make some friends
Hi Jaxx,
I would like to tell you that dont think about whet people say just think about how to run your life
Hi my name is irene from Kenya and am in my last year of high school hoping to join uni… And am super interested in changing people’s views especially when it comes to racism because we have to stop issues that started centuries ago and come up with positive things in our century. Hope you guys agree
Hii
Im jennifer from New Guinea
I agree with your statement
Very true…
I find all this extremely intereting.I come from France and would like to share languages.I taught High SchoolFrench. I began An M A at Mc Gill before my father passed away.
I Love French and I have always wanted to learn the Language.. Would you mind to teach me ?
Me i will teach you.moi je veux l’enseigne
Hii, I am a single woman in my late forties and want to have someone as a friend with whom I can share anything. I do not have problems making friends face to face but I live in such a place where I do not get to meet people of my type. It’s a small town in assam and people are so conservative and orthodox with very little knowledge about what’s going on around the globe, but I am very progressive. I am a senior Secondary teacher of English. Can you help me out
It’s like im a people person but lately i saw that my friend circle was in a stand still. I got no stimulus conversation from them anymore. Im single so 2 have families now one seemed lost one always complained and the others were depressed. And these are professional working ppl too. I was tired of giving advice in vain. Idk i guess i kinda grew out of them i suppose. Now i feel lonely but dont really want to call them up. I want to laugh and find ppl with interest like wise mine. I want to dispute disagree friendly and still be able to laugh together the next day u know. I received your message Jaxx😊we can b friends
I am 5th year enginereeng student… who love to listen music help peoples and love business ideas.I have never been to make friends easily cause am very shy.I don’t like fighting with peoples
I have always had some trouble meeting friends. I am not so interested in shallow dating stuff. I have never been able to make long term friendships. My family is far away and I could never relate to them much anyway. That may be part of why I leftg Rochester, NY, not to mention the weather. I don’t like to fight with people over politics though I have views. Am somewhat educated and planning maybe to go back to school online. I am semiretired and have a home owned business. It sounds like mumble jumble to me.
I do not really like Comanion Tree at a first glance… It seemed to complicated to meet friends through that site. Yelp seems more promising for me since I know lots about my city, Berlin!
Notify me when someone responds to my comment.
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