Financial Domination Therapy
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Financial Domination Therapy
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Sexual fetish involving transfer of money
^ Nick Chester (2013-07-02). "Financial Domination Is a Very Expensive Fetish" . Vice . Retrieved 2016-01-29 .
^ Dan Savage (2022-01-11): Savage Love. Hard for the Money , theStranger. Retrieved 2022-05-03.
^ Dayna McAlpine (2019-09-25). This new sex fetish is on the rise on Twitter , but why? ; STYLIST. Retrieved 2022-05-05.
^ Abby Ellin (2015-02-18). "Yes, There Is Such a Thing as a 'Financial Dominatrix,' and It's as Bizarre as You Think" . Observer . Retrieved 2016-01-29 .
^ Alison Stevenson (2013-11-07). "I Went to a Class to Learn How to Financially Dominate Men" . Vice . Retrieved 2018-05-22 .
^ Maria Yagoda (2017-02-03). Inside the Strange, Sexual "Female Supremacy" Movement , Vice . Retrieved 2022-05-05.
Financial domination (also known as Findom ) is a current variant of BDSM .
In this fetish lifestyle, in particular a practice of dominance and submission , a submissive ( cash piggy , finsub , human ATM , money slave or paypig ) gives gifts and money to a financial dominant ( findomme , Goddess , money domme , money mistress or cashmaster ). [1] [2] The dominant part is mostly female, the submissive is almost always male. Financial domination will also have been practiced before in individual cases, but it only became more widespread and took on its current form after the introduction of the Internet . The relationship between the two parts (including paying) often takes place solely via online communication. Moneydommes present themselves on their own websites , relevant web portals or social networks . Of the latter, Twitter plays by far the largest role. [3]
There is no sexual exchange, and in the majority of cases the two never meet. In rare exceptions, the submissive may accompany the dominant while shopping and paying with the submissive's money. Financial domination is often combined with other BDSM practises. [4] Such a relationship between individuals may be similar to, yet clearly distinguishable from, relationships based on total power exchange . In the latter, the submissive may grant all their money saved and earned to the dominant, in addition to many other aspects of their autonomy; however, it is not uncommon for both partners to have an intimate relationship as well, which is contrary to the financial domination dynamic. Financial domination can also be distinguished from sugar baby relationships in which a sugar daddy/mama offers gifts and money to the "baby" in return for a relationship, generally without any explicit elements of domination. In financial domination, the submissive has no expectation of sexual contact in return for the money, and often there is no physical contact of any kind between the two parties. [5]
It is often said that the money slave has to limit himself to the subsistence level and has no right to get anything in return. Besides the paying, it is crucial that the dominant part humiliates the submissive and shows him his supposed inferiority. Some members of the Findom scene claim that women are the superior sex. Accordingly, they demand the introduction of Matriarchy and, in some cases, legal discrimination against men. However, it remains unclear whether these are serious political demands or just fetish fantasies. [6]
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Austin, TX
Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Trending Topics
Coronavirus Disease 2019
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Bias
Affective Forecasting
Neuroscience
There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may shortchange the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
Posted October 3, 2019
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Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy .”—Hamlet to Horatio in Shakespeare’s Hamlet
Written more than 400 years ago, Hamlet’s one-liner still rings true today, especially when it comes to the seemingly infinite ways in which we find sexual pleasure. For as long as we’ve occupied the earth, an amazing array of tabooed sexual practices has existed just beneath society's surface. Generally falling under the umbrella of “fetishes,” these are now spilling out into society’s awareness via the internet, where discovery is only limited by one’s imagination .
Probably the largest trove of fetishes lies within the world of BDSM— bondage , discipline, sadism, and masochism—in which participants enact an erotic game of dominance and humiliation , most commonly practiced in person and one on one, employing restraints, whips, spanking and verbal abuse.
The internet, however, provides vast new electronic and distant possibilities for unusual sexual expressions, and one of these is financial domination, “findom” for short. Many men and women have discovered that being “forced” to pay someone to verbally abuse and command them to perform degrading tasks can be satisfying. In all societies, money and power are synonymous, and for some people surrendering their power to another in the form of money and gifts is the ultimate taboo and turn-on.
Before shaking your head in disbelief, consider the idea that money actually is erotically charged. Some people say they have been attracted to partners with money and the potential to be good providers. If a partner has enough money for a particular lifestyle—owning an expensive car, wearing expensive clothes, buying expensive gifts, and such—one may become romantically involved with and turned on by that person even if the partner is otherwise unattractive, much older, or unwilling to be in a traditional relationship.
There are straight men who are willing to have sex with gay men for money, not because they themselves are gay—or even bisexual —but because the money turns them on, makes them feel valued and empowered.
In much of our world, men must strive for a sense of value that’s reflected in how much money they’re able to make and accumulate. Often this includes having risen in the world to positions of authority and domination over others while bearing the heavy responsibility of managing and controlling others as well as the flow of money. People may be surprised that frequently these very men seek inner balance and solace by surrendering their power and responsibility to someone who will give them orders, speak down to them by calling them “pay pigs” or “cash slaves,” make them crawl on all fours, and, yes, even demand they give up their hard-earned money, their power. For such men, doing so provides some relief and actually turns them on.
Both the dom and the sub know that this is a consensual game they’re playing, and both are getting off on it. Hearing the ding as money drops into her PayPal or Venmo account while chatting online turns the dom on, while the sub is turned on by pressing that button and being relieved of the responsibility of having money and turning over control to someone else. Threatening to expose subs’ taboo fetish to others, i.e. extortion, adds even more spice to the game, and not knowing if the dom will actually do it if the sub doesn’t obey turns it up even further. A dom who calls herself Maitresse Madeline said in an interview with the program Vice that she thinks of her role as a sort of psychological art form, developing an effective online persona over ten years of doing this work.
“It’s easy to put someone in a submissive position and then f*ck them,” she says, “but to mindf*ck somebody, you really have to get into their head, and understand where they’re coming from and what makes them tick.”
In the past, the classic BDSM scenario has been a woman, the dominatrix, dressed in body-hugging leather, wielding a riding crop, and degrading a man, who perhaps is being led around in a dog collar, by making him lick her high heels and such. But with the advent of the internet they can play a similar game but with no physical contact, demanding men send them gifts, money, and even turn over their credit or debit cards and allow the dominatrix (“dom”) to decide how much allowance the subservient male (“sub”) will get for his living expenses. She may even demand his bank account password or threaten to expose his fetish to his wife or co-workers if he doesn’t comply.
Once the exclusive purvey of the dominatrix, dom/sub relationships—particularly findom—are showing up now in all online sexual subcultures: cisgender, gay, transgender , straight men, and gay men. There seems to be no shortage of people who long to be dominated, humiliated, and relieved of their money.
It is easy to jump to judgment about these sorts of consensual games but one must realize that we don’t do the same when we watch cage fighters beat each other to a bloody pulp, something they mutually consented to do even though it’s possible that one might emerge from these fights unconscious , with brain damage, or even dead. Whatever has driven them to want to do this is rarely questioned. But if two people agree to do something kinky and sexually oriented such as findom, our tendency is to immediately judge and shame them.
It’s probably time—or even past time—for us to grow up, get real, and accept that as humans we have countless avenues of sexual expression that we may never understand, and therefore cannot judge.
Or as Hamlet said, there are more things in heaven and earth than we’ve dreamed of.
Joe Kort, Ph.D., LMSW, is the founder and director of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health. His latest book is Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi?
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Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may shortchange the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
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Women are making tens of thousands of dollars per day from men who get off on giving them large sums of money— but it's more complicated than it sounds
By day, Tatiana*, 30, has a full-time job in the entertainment industry. But by night, she makes an extra $20,000 to $30,00 per year as a financial dominatrix . That means she demands money from submissive male clients, often known as "money slaves" or "pay pigs." In an average session, Tatiana can make anywhere between $50 and thousands of dollars — even though she's never actually met any of her clients, let alone had sex with them. In exchange, they just want to hear her go shopping while her phone jangles around in her purse, or they want to be verbally humiliated and called names.
“I love money," Tatiana says. "Money turns me on."
Financial domination (or findom for short) is one of the many fetishes in the world of BDSM. It most often takes the form of a submissive man giving his money, and thus his control, to a dominant woman, often a professional financial dominatrix — usually, without any exchange of explicit sexual services at all.
“Financial domination is when someone wants to have someone else in control of their money as a way of losing control, and [in some cases], as a form of humiliation,” says sex therapist Kelly Wise , PhD.
Sometimes, this can take the form of a one-off small payment; other times, the domme can put the submissive on a rigorous payment schedule, even taking a portion of his paycheck. There are also more extreme forms of the fetish, including financial blackmail (where a domme will threaten to blackmail a sub if he doesn't agree to her terms), or even a sub handing over his bank account password so the domme can take as much money as they want. Most experienced dommes and subs negotiate the terms of the relationship beforehand, so nothing is done without anyone's consent, but the ultimate goal is for the submissive to relinquish total financial control.
For some professional dominatrixes, financial domination is purely a job. But others enjoy it as a lifestyle as well. "I get off on the power trip more than sexually," Jenna Sativa , a porn performer turned fin domme, recently told Men's Health at the Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE) in Las Vegas.
For some men who are into findom, the appeal isn't even totally sexual, says Bratty Nikki , who has been working as a financial dominatrix on the internet since 2010. "For some of them, it isn’t about the humiliation. It’s about spending money on women because they think they deserve it," Nikki told Men's Health at AEE. "In our society, men's value is in how successful they are. So when they’re willing to pay you a lot of money, it’s real. It’s more than them saying, 'Hey, I worship you.' They’re putting their money where their mouth is."
Like any kink , financial domination depends on both parties’ tastes. Tatiana, for instance, doesn’t interact with her clients in person, but through the internet, phone, and on websites such as What’s Your Price , where you can either bid on or sell dates. Some of her pay pigs simply Venmo her money, while others will buy items off her Amazon wishlist. They've even bought her Hawaiian vacations. Fin dommes also use social media to encourage men to give them money. "My biggest day was $20,000. I did a retweet game [with a sub] where he had to pay me $100 per retweet," says Nikki. "It ended u
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