Fifty Shades Of Grey Bdsm

Fifty Shades Of Grey Bdsm

*First Published: Feb 13, 2015, 11:00 am CST

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Posted on Feb 13, 2015 Updated on May 29, 2021, 1:22 pm CDT
Fifty Shades of Grey hits theaters this week just in time for Valentine’s Day, for those who find watching wildly inaccurate depictions of BDSM couched in abusive, dangerous relationships enjoyable, and those who just want to hatewatch. The phenomenally bestselling series of the same name suggests audiences will be equally enamored with the films— advance box office numbers certainly point that way, with the film ranked number four in Fandango’s list of top preselling movies of all time.
But there’s a reason many people in the BDSM community are not happy with what Fifty Shades hath wrought. Its depiction of kink as dangerous and abusive does nothing to normalize or destigmatize BDSM, and while it may have encouraged some readers to consider exploring kink for themselves, many aren’t following through on their research to make sure they’re doing it safely.
In 2013, researchers published a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , finding: “The results mostly suggest favorable psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners compared with the control group; BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, had higher subjective well-being, yet were less agreeable.” This went in the face of previously believed suggestions that kinkiness was rooted in psychopathology, suggesting that practicing BDSM can actually be beneficial—for those who are genuinely kinky, that is, and not being forced into nonconsensual relationships.
At Mic, Kate Hakala writes : “It’s no wonder that some practitioners report feeling relaxed both after scenes and within their romantic relationships—it’s a community that has lived by the three main tenets of being ‘safe, sane and consensual’ for years. The foundations of the BDSM community, such as safewords, aftercare and constant communication, lend themselves to secure, mutually satisfying experiences that often bring couples closer together.”
Consent culture is a huge aspect of BDSM—surrender is key to enjoyment, for many practitioners, and the excitement comes from the voluntary nature of that surrender. But you can’t feel safe enough to put yourself completely into the hands of a top without a careful discussion about needs, limitations, and concerns beforehand. That includes how far you want to take a scene and what both of you are expecting. An authoritative, decisive top might be appealing for some, but only after going over boundaries and discussing where scenes begin and end.
Many of the scenes in Fifty Shades involve clear lack of consent and violation of personal boundaries—the infamous “tampon scene” is a vivid example. Such scenes are anathema to many BDSM advocates because they undermine one of the key values of the community—that consent be the primary concern in all scenes, whether they involve play for the camera, a 24/7 relationship, or the privacy of the bedroom.
Many of the scenes in Fifty Shades involve potentially dangerous and worrying practices, like using zip ties as restraints. Not every kink practitioner is an EMT, but people in the BDSM community are extremely conscientious about safety—they have to be, since their goal isn’t to hurt their play partners. At least, not unintentionally. Before commencing a physical scene, both parties discuss potential health concerns and limitations—like a joint problem that would make certain bondage positions problematic—to ensure that everyone has a safe and enjoyable time. In scenes involving more psychological aspects of BDSM, like humiliation, careful emotional boundaries are also established.
Conscientious practitioners make sure they have safety measures in place, like safety shears to quickly cut through restraints in an emergency. They also use gloves and other barrier protection when body fluids are involved in play, and take as many steps as possible to keep their play partners safe. While there will always be inherent risks in some BDSM activities, harm reduction is a key component for responsible practitioners.
One of the most troubling aspects of Fifty Shades is the presentation of Christian Grey as a sad, broken man with a traumatizing past. That characterization speaks to the stereotype that kinky people are deviant or defective in some way, using kink to process past trauma. Kinky people are, in fact, as emotionally diverse as everyone else, running the gamut from emotionally balanced people with healthy, active lives to people with severe mental health conditions—and their sexuality has nothing to do with their past, present, or future.
Perpetuating the stereotype that kink is the result of psychological damage stigmatizes BDSM, but it’s also harmful for practitioners in other ways. People with traumatic pasts who do need to go to therapy or exercise special caution in scenes might feel reluctant to reinforce a stereotype by speaking up, for example.
Here’s why the vast majority of kinky people are kinky: It’s fun, for whatever value of fun the practitioner most endorses. A top of my acquaintance recently attended a predicament bondage workshop—because lots of kinky people go to classes to learn new techniques and talk about safety—and when the instructor asked why she had chosen to attend the class, she gleefully said “because torturing people is FUN!”
Whether you’re hitting people with riding crops, ordering boot blacks to scrub your shoes, tying people up, being humiliated by your top, or any number of other things, you do it because it’s fun. For everyone. If it’s not fun, you shouldn’t be doing it. For some, that even means laughing and joking through scenes.
It’s perfectly normal to be kinky, writes Pamela Stephenson Connolly at the Guardian : “All the work that has been done to establish that BDSM is not a pathological symptom, but one of a wide range of normative human erotic interests, is in danger of being undermined by the success of Fifty Shades .”
Fifty Shades might tell you that only big, bad men can be doms. In fact, teeny tiny women can be just as devious as men can, and some men deeply enjoy submission. Many people even identify as switches, interacting as both tops and bottoms or in more fluid scenes where these distinctions can be more complicated. Some practitioners prefer scenes with people of specific genders, while others do not, and some associate BDSM with sex, but not necessarily—yes, there are asexual kinky people .
When you see a group of kinky people in a room, don’t assume anyone’s identity—in fact, plenty of wealthy, powerful businessmen absolutely love being bossed around by petite women.
In Fifty Shades of Grey, Anastasia Steele’s relationship to Christian Grey isn’t just about somewhat abusive interactions and limited consent—don’t mistake “surrender” for blanket permission to do whatever a top demands. It’s also about being taken care of, but it’s only in a material sense. At the Los Angeles Times, Meghan Daum noted this aspect of their relationship , pointing out that the allure for many readers might not be the sex, but the money and power. “For every reference to handcuffs and inner goddesses,” she writes, “there are even more nods to Christian’s incalculable wealth.”
While some tops certainly do provide material support (just like partners in other kinds of relationships), they also provide specialized emotional support. Being in a dedicated scene can leave submissives in a floaty, comfortable emotional state sometimes referred to as “sub space,” but it can also require a slow, gentle comedown. In addition to monitoring the comfort of their submissives during scenes, tops provide aftercare, like snacks, drinks, affectionate physical touch, privacy, or whatever else they might need. We don’t see much of that in Fifty Shades, which elides both the complicated setup and negotiation before scenes and the care required afterwards.
At Slate, Amanda Hess reviews Fifty Shades and describes the film as very much self-aware , writing: “[T]he obvious subtext is that our heroine has fallen down the rabbit hole of the cultural phenomenon of Fifty Shades itself.” This is, perhaps, the one lesson that viewers can take away from the film when they flock to see it this weekend, which they most definitely will. While EL James may have been an earnest fanfic author and self-confessed “ not great ” writer, the film’s producers have taken the world she created and created a wry, caustic sendup to the culture her books created. We’re not supposed to view the BDSM in the film seriously, and that’s a good thing.
s.e. smith is a Northern California-based journalist and writer focusing on social justice issues. smith's work has appeared in publications like Esquire, the Guardian, Rolling Stone, In These Times, Bitch Magazine, and Pacific Standard.
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BDSM is generally used as an umbrella term for a wide range of sexual and/or erotic practices which include some element of restraint, control, power imbalance, or the infliction of pain. These acts may or may not be combined with more traditional forms of sexual activity, but they are usually pursued with the aim of instigating sexual arousal and sexual pleasure. The term was first documented as being used in 1991, and seems to have been developed to include a number of abbreviations such as bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Many different types of practices and communities exist under the broad category of BDSM, and there is no singular definition of what the practice means. Typically, there is a strong focus on consent. Consent is often established prior to activity (or "play") beginning, and may involve negotiation and communication around limits and boundaries. At the same time, consent can be withdrawn at any time, and many types of BDSM involve establishing a code word ("safe word") or signal by which someone can withdrawn their consent and bring the activity to a stop.
Examples of sex with elements of dominance, power assertion, and/or the infliction of pain have existed in culture and literature for centuries. For example, John Cleland's erotic novel Fanny Hill (1749) features a scene in which a young woman whips her lover for his pleasure. Descriptions of 18th-century prostitutes also include mention of women who specialized in submitting their clients to pain and domination. The term sadism is derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade, a French nobleman who lived from 1740 to 1814. He wrote novels, short stories, and other texts featuring explicit representations of sexual activity, often involving inflicting pain and suffering on others. The term masochism derives from the name of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, an Austrian nobleman and the author of the novel Venus in Furs . In his writings, Masoch often described individuals who derive sexual gratification from experiencing pain and humiliation.
Historically, some forms of BDSM have been pathologized and stigmatized as evidence that an individual was psychologically disordered. Freud wrote about both sadism and masochism as evidence that a child had experienced some disruption to normal sexual development and became deviant as a result. There is still research being conducted on the origins and practices of BDSM, but most recent scientific studies conclude that there is no evident correlation between trauma and BDSM, nor is there any evidence of a correlation between BDSM and sexual deviance. Especially with the rise of online communities making it easier for like-minded individuals to connect, many individuals who practice BDSM have become more open about their preferences, and in many places, these practices are becoming less stigmatized. While it has been heavily criticized for misrepresenting BDSM practices, Fifty Shades of Grey could also be credited with introducing some of these practices to a wider mainstream audience.
The Question and Answer section for Fifty Shades of Grey is a great
resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

Are you giving me choices of statements here?
Ana goes to Georgia to visit her mother.
Fifty Shades of Grey essays are academic essays for citation. These papers were written primarily by students and provide critical analysis of Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James.

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Fifty Shades of Grey and the legal limits of BDSM

Published: February 15, 2015 7.34pm GMT

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Sex

Sexuality

Fifty Shades of Grey

Bondage, domination, submission, discipline, sado-masochism (BDSM)

Senior Lecturer in Law, University of Technology Sydney

Thalia Anthony does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
University of Technology Sydney provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.
Christian Grey knows exactly his hard limits in sadomasochism and he may also know a thing or two about his legal limits. The Dominant character Grey in the fantasy fiction Fifty Shades of Grey is bent on alluring his coprotagonist, Anastasia (Ana) Steele, to become his Submissive in a BDSM – Bondage & Discipline (BD) Domination & Submission (DS) Sadism & Masochism (SM) – relationship.
The layers of coercion, consent, pleasure and pain are as complex as the acronym itself and defined by the participants themselves. The cinematic account of this fiction – released this past weekend – illustrates some of the problematic demarcations in the law of assault in the real world.
When Grey informs the innocent Ana about the unnegotiable “hard limits” he sets down in a contract governing their BDSM activities – including no fire play, cutting, piercing, bloodletting, gynaecological instruments, scarring, permanent disfiguration, breath control, defecating/ urinating or use of electric current – she is confounded (probably with a blush and the cautious words of her subconscious). The law is a bit confounded too.
“Hard limits” – in the BDSM arrangement between Grey and Ana – are those activities excluded from the pair’s BDSM arrangement as a safety precaution. “Soft limits” – such as caning and flogging – are more negotiable: Grey does not regard them as a safety issue but they’re left open for negotiation on the grounds that they may cause unbearable pain.
So what does the law have to say about legal status of the sadomasochistic acts?
For criminal lawyers, for humans in general, the hard limits described above may look a little bit like assault. The offence of wounding or grievous bodily harm with intent – which includes where there is permanent disfiguration or serious harm – attracts a maximum sentence 25 years imprisonment.
In Australia’s Northern Territory, mandatory prison sentences apply to first-time serious violent offenders. This may include acts involving cutting, scarring, whipping or caning. But the legislation does not prescribe the nature of violent activities or whether inflicting pain in the name of sexual pleasure is permissible.
In principle, if the participant suffering the harm consents to the violence, this would legalise what would otherwise be deemed assault.
In Fifty Shades, Christian Grey’s relentless pursuit of Ana’s consent before engaging in BDSM was well-advised, as consent provides an important pillar in nullifying assault claims – but it’s not the only pillar. There are, it seems, at least 50 shades of grey when it comes to the application of the laws relating to consensual bodily harm.
The law on consensual violence is cobbled together from a small pool of legal cases. The parameters are rarely tested, given that consenting and willing participants are hardly going to complain to police and press charges. Cases are often brought to the attention of authorities when something goes wrong or evidence emerges during an investigation for another crime (such as video tapes found during a drug investigation).
Demarcations of acceptable harm, beyond which would constitute serious assault, appear to hinge on the participants. In cases of “rough but innocent horse-play” in heterosexual relations, or manly violence inflicted in boxing or prize fighting, courts have refrained from convicting participants of assault due to the presence of consent.
Consent also legalises bodily harm arising in the normal course of surgery, contact sports, ritual circumcision, tattooing and ear piercing. But the law has been less accommodating with similar acts and similar levels of harm in different contexts.
Courts have condemned consensual acts of gay sadomasochism or Indigenous law punishment. The Northern Territory Supreme Court in the 2004 bail case of Re Anthony held that it could not condone the offender being let into the community to allegedly have Elders in the Tanami Desert community of Lajamanu spear him in the leg and hit him with nulla nullas.
The Court regarded that it was immaterial that the offender consented to the spearing, on the grounds that it would restore relations and remove the curse of his offence, because the serious nature of the harm meant it was not in the community’s interest. In the 1994 case of R v Brown , the House of Law found that consensual sadomasochistic activities involving a group of gay men was illegal.
This case was brought to the House of Lords to determine whether proof of wounds or harmful assaults in the course of sadomasochism required the prosecution to prove a lack of consent. The majority held that the gay sadomasochistic assaults were unlawful “because public policy required that society be protected by criminal sanctions against a cu
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