Fidget Porn
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Fidget Porn
You can't escape these gadgets so you might as well embrace them.
By
Cassie Murdoch on May 24, 2017
Wow. Just wow.
Credit: Christopher Mineses/Mashable
Someone drilled a hole in an iPhone to make a fidget spinner because... the internet
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You guys, fidget spinner porn is a thing now. Sigh.
These little gadgets are everywhere, so of course they’re also making their way into adult entertainment. New data from Pornhub reveals that there's been a big surge in interest in fidget-friendly porn in recent weeks.
Pornhub says that at their peak, searches for "fidget spinner" were up 282 percent over the average. They started to climb on May 10th. In the 10 days that followed, there were 2.5 million searches for videos involving the gadget. It’s been the top trending term for May and the fifth most popular overall search for the month.
While interest may be hot and heavy, what you'll actually find on Pornhub is pretty hilarious. It's just a lot of video of fidget spinners...spinning. Sure, some are clever. For instance, a video called "1000MPH Fidget Spinner Bisexual Threesome" literally features three spinners ramming into each other with excellent narration.
There are also a few choice NSFW options, like "Dank Fidget Spinner on Hot Ass," which is exactly what it sounds like. But for the most part, the only real action is totally innocent spinning.
It’s not unusual to see a spike in porn searches for things that are experiencing a cultural moment. Pornhub searches for “golden showers” went way up after Donald Trump’s alleged pee scandal was revealed. The Pokémon Go craze led to a similar increase . But the number of people searching for fidget spinner porn has been unusually high.
Still, our appetite for this particular subgenre may be peaking. Searches hit an all-time high on May 21st and now seem to be on a slight decline. That is the kind of good news we can cling to as we attempt to survive the fidget spinner craze.
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