Fetish Kink
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Fetish Kink
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Are there really any differences between Fetish and Kink? Do both these words mean the same thing to some people?
Let’s start with the wiki definition of each word.
‘Fetish’ – this is an extreme devotion to something (usually an object) and the term can be used both sexually and non sexually, with both indicating an obsessive interest.
‘Kink’ – is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The word derives from the idea of a ‘bend’ in one’s sexual behaviour. In other words, anything that is considered to be ‘non-vanilla’.
So you could say that the guy who comes to worship my feet every week has a kink, and his fetish is my feet.
Normalization of Kinks and Fetishism
Previously, a fetish was something you didn’t hear about very often and when you did, it usually involved S&M or similar. Some parts of society even believed that people who had a fetish were abnormal and should seek treatment for their perversity.
Nowadays, it’s almost gone full circle with the suggestion that if you don’t have a bit of fun and ‘kink’ in your sexual relationship, you might have a problem.
Being open and discussing our sex lives has produced a whole new breed of people who are willing to accept things more readily. Understanding that being sexually motivated by a pair of rubber gloves is not that different to being turned on by stockings and suspenders, has provided society with a way of breaking with tradition. Much the same as being sexually attracted to large breasts is for some the ultimate, whereas others prefer small feet.
One of the most obvious signs that kinks and fetish are becoming normalised in today’s society are the amount of retail outlets relating to Sex and Play. They even appear in our high streets and shopping centres for all to see.
Admittedly, the shop window caters for more traditional tastes in moderately sexy clothing, the further into the shop you go, the products become more kink related. Friendly assistants on hand to help you with your latest wand upgrade, to explain the newest line in bondage gear, treating the products as normal every-day purchases.
Women benefit from this the most, as it’s opened a whole new array of purchasing power to them, where they no longer have to visit sex shops or order their secret items secretly online.
In a world where almost everything has been seen, there seems to be very little left to surprise us, which leaves us wondering is there ever going to be anything new?
Personally, I think that the current trends for sexual openness have allowed us to look at kinks and fetishes for what they really mean. Not something seedy, involving only people who needed some kind of therapy but something to actually be celebrated in today’s more open society.
People do however love labels and the ability to package everything in its own little box has become an obsessive part of the world today. Nowadays if you mention the word kink or fetish, you’ll be reeling off descriptive words to describe them from now until dawn.
If you’re trying to add tags to your profile, the list could be very long indeed. Perhaps it’s better to now say the things you don’t like or won’t deal with!
In saying that, if you’re not a cam model or content creator, you might want to keep your kinks list to yourself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in keeping your private life private and only sharing your most sexually motivating thoughts with your partner, after all – each to their own!
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Not everyone gets BDSM, but those of us who do understand it as the perfect middle ground between pure lust and true love.
When you “play” with a partner you get a strong emotional connection, an intense rush, and some even say a blissful or out-of-this-world climax.
But what are the best fetish websites and BDSM sites out there?
Here we’re going to discuss the best BDSM fetish dating sites, as well as a general introduction to the lifestyle and the community.
We chose Adult Friend Finder as our #1 pick because it offers the largest fetish community and lets you search for an endless number of sexual niches with its forum option.
There’s also a social media feature so you can post all about your kinks and experiences.
Adult Friend Finder is the most thriving kink website and that certainly matters when dealing with the BDSM lifestyle. You don’t want to be a lone wolf!
Add video chat, swingers, threesomes, and LGBTQ+ friendliness into the mix, and you’ve got a winner!
Fetlife is the most popular free dating site for kinksters and like-minded people.
The site offers free chat, photos, video, and an easy social network-style layout that lets you search for kinks and add friends or follow members who are into the same lifestyle.
There have been many sites like FetLife, but none measure up to this juggernaut of the kinkster community.
Fetlife also introduced a mobile FetLife app recently, which offers notifications, messaging from the site, a stealth mode for public viewing, and even a Discover option for nearby events. Nice!
Alt.com is one of the largest BDSM dating website communities. Alt offers photo trading, fetish dating, swingers and couples, and even member cameras. You can join for free and start looking around for your kink and other users into the same stuff.
Alt.com offers amateur chat as well as experienced doms and dommes for the complete BDSM adventure. You can also extend your search to countries across the world and find like-minded kinksters anywhere .
Ashley Madison is not necessarily a fetish website, but it is probably the most discreet place on the internet for a married affair .
You can run a search on a specific kink or you can search locally to see who’s nearby and what their favorite kink is.
While the site doesn’t do kink matches, talking about your kink to a new friend is one of the best ways to start a strictly sexual relationship .
With over 900,000 members, BDSM.com is a sex-positive website with a fast-growing community of fetishists.
Here, you can find over 340 groups devoted to unique kinks, including FemDom, bound and gagged, high heels and boots, no limits roleplay, and kinky and geeky.
Let’s just say there are kinky girls and guys aplenty.
You can form your own group, and check out over 250,000 member videos. Give it a try!
Seeking.com is not a kink matching site by design, but it caters to one popular niche – the sugar daddy spoiling his sugar baby.
Ideally, you need some cash to splash.
Oftentimes that sugar dynamic turns into dom/sub or master/slave kinks, especially with the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey.
More than a website – Fetish.com is a portal to the greater BDSM community. At Fetish.com, the site’s primary feature is offering maps to local MUNCHES which are PG-rated meetup groups for everyone.
Membership is free and you can browse forums, chat, and take your search almost anywhere in the world. The site offers a combination of community and dating/matching.
The Fantasy App, not to be confused with Fantasy.com, is an app exclusively for polyamorous and open marriage relationships.
There’s no need to ask about marital status, but you can be assured that everyone here believes in ethical dating, safety, health, and reciprocity.
Whiplr has a growing community with over 1.2 million members, 600,000 photos, and 50,000 chats and video calls.
The community offers a variety of fetishes, including newcomers, cuckholders, masters, slaves, and 24/7 slave-master setups. The site also sponsors fetish meetups across the world.
KinkD is an app that matches together kinksters and BDSM users, while also offering a social network for all its users.
Whether you’re single, a couple, or swingers, you can join, post on walls, chat, view stories, meet up, and even follow the most popular users in the community.
Things can get very specific here, from threesomes to even Christian or Jewish BDSM.
Kinkoo started in 2017 but it’s getting along nicely, with a vetted community that weeds out spammers and fakes, and also matches users together using its own algorithm.
The site also offers education and kink feeds for each user, which serves as an icebreaker, as well as the introduction of a soft or hard limit.
Fetster is a free kinkster website that operates as both a social network and a meetup group.
Extreme fetishes are all over, from cuckolds to CBT, pegging, master-slave, rope-play, suspension, deprecating, caging, and spanking .
Search locally, or by city, start chatting, and no premium membership is required.
You can even make your own groups if you don’t find one you like – that’s an excellent feature for specific kinks and fetishes.
Reddit is one of the easiest sites to use, given that it’s free and has a laid-back personal ad posting approach to its community.
The Fetish Reddit community has 145,000 users and even has active subgroup moderation.
You can tag your ad and post by location, age, and whatever kink you’re looking for. Reddit’s best feature? The personal ad can change to an active chat with just one click.
Literotica is known as more of a sexting dating site and a bit of an old website since they haven’t bothered updating their layout since the turn of the century.
But it’s one of the best places to meets fellow kinksters solely because of the huge free archive of erotic fiction available onsite.
BDSM is a very general term referring to a broad community of people who have very specific sexual preferences or even non-sexual kinks.
You will experience intense emotional highs, similar to love, but with a much more diverse view of relationships and commitment.
BDSM can be summarized by 4 distinct ideas:
First things first, nobody wants to play with a dangerous psychopath who doesn’t understand that BDSM is a game and not a literal dungeon of doom.
That’s why the best and only way to start a conversation with a new friend is to talk like a normal human being and speak the language of your fellow kinksters.
That means being safe, sane, and consensual . No method acting in the beginning – there’s no need to audition or impress. Be friendly and approachable and then explore the kinks you have in common.
Sessions of play are sometimes called “scenes” requiring a Dom, Sub, or Switch. If a website asks you whether you’re a Dom, Sub, or Switch, this means whether you like to be:
Despite what you would assume, the Receiver/Sub is usually the one who directs “the scene.”
Dominants are trying their best to give pleasure to the submissive so that the submissive will keep using a Dom’s services. Successful negotiation increases trust and partners can closely bond together after so many sessions.
BDSM players do not like an abusive or arrogant Dom that doesn’t understand the psychology or responsibility of directing the scene. Bad Doms who don’t know what they’re doing are often shunned from the community, so be careful!
Speaking of rules, trust is easy to promise but sometimes hard to live up to. Don’t assume you can improvise. Stick to the system of hard/soft limits to avoid making an enemy for life.
If someone mentions any of these phrases when discussing fantasies, pay close attention:
The easiest way to join the BDSM community is to not make a big dramatic scene, but rather to introduce yourself in the forum discussions, search for your kinks, like photos or member posts, and request to follow or chat with someone interesting.
Still, be careful not to be too pushy when you first start. There’s no need to score a date the first night or even the first week of joining the community. Just chill and get to know people first.
This can be tricky because some financial interactions are perfectly legal (i.e. webcam work, being a Domme, or escorting for companionship ), but others are not, namely prostitution.
Even “consensual financial domination” (sending money for doms to insult you) is a legitimate thing.
However, if someone volunteers to meet you and do “anything” for financial compensation, be very suspicious. Follow your instincts and don’t run off with new members who have no connections in the community.
Here are the 7 mistakes I see guys make the most:
It’s encouraged to sign a contract beforehand, and not just a symbolic contract.
A literal bondage contract shows each other that you respect the agreed-upon boundaries and are willing to oversee the safety of your partner at all times.
While Fetlife came very close to reaching #1, it just falls short of Adult Friend Finder ’s variety, ease of use, and exciting social media interface.
Still, Fetlife is free to use and has a mobile app version which is very handy.
But our research saw AdultFriendFinder had the biggest community and the most sexual niches to choose from .
Whichever website you end up using, remember to play safe, follow the rules, and have a good time!
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting the Village Voice and our advertisers.
Group
Combined Shape
Combined Shape
Group 2
Is Aaron Judge Going to Banish that Asterisk for Good?
2021: After Four Long Years, the Village Voice Returned to Print
California Votes to Ban Sale of New Gas-Powered Cars by 2035
Is Aaron Judge Going to Banish that Asterisk for Good?
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2022: The Year So Far, in Voice Relaunch e-Editions
The Shadow Knew: Two Pulp-Era Avengers Set the Template for Superheroes Ever Since
2022: The Year So Far, in Voice Relaunch e-Editions
Blended Worlds: Daniel K. Isaac Channels His Korean Ancestry Through Folk Tales
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The Yankee slugger is on pace to surpass the pre-steroid homer record.
These e-Editions of the relaunched Voice print issues won't rub off on your fingers.
by
The Village Voice
A new book looks at the artistry—and marketing—of The Shadow and Doc Savage.
Collecting rainwater in order to live, and other desperate measures, as Russia’s attacks on Ukraine continue. And what America can
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