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Fetish Date
Got A Bizarre Sexual Fetish? There's A Dating Site For That
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By Dawn Michael — Written on Feb 13, 2017
There are so many opportunities to find romance in this new world of online dating sites. In the search for your perfect match, you're not only able to key in the height, weight, age, race, religious preference and locale of a potential partner, but now you can also key in any specific kink that you may desire . New online fetish dating sites are popping up on a daily basis.
In my practice as a sex therapist and relationship coach, I often get questions with regard to fetishes. Some people are interested in finding a cure for their fetish, some are seeking to indulge in their fetish and others are interested in finding someone to share in their fetish.
A fetish is classified as a fixation on an object or specific situation that leads to sexual arousal. This also can encompass the obsession one feels towards physical body parts in a sexual sense.
Human sexuality is very complicated; coupled with society's views on sexuality, it can make a person feel shame or the need to hide their sexual preference, fetish and kinky ideas of what turns them on . Many times people will marry or stay in long-term relationships but not be satisfied with their sex life or partner.
They may hide their passion for high heels and stockings, their obsession with feet and toes, large breasts or even the desire to be a cuckold. Many of these people will be unfulfilled sexually and seek it out elsewhere. It's a shame because sharing and enjoying a fetish with a partner can have a very positive effect on the romance and sex play in a relationship .
Online dating gives a person the ability to shop for a partner made to meet their specific needs, wants, desires and fetishes. In this day and age of internet online dating, it doesn't matter if you are sporting spiked heels and fishnets, in your diaper and collar or even wrapped in rubber needing proper punishment. There's a site for you.
Just look it up, log in and you can be enjoying long walks on the beach with your new partner, hand in hand... or hand-holding leash. For your pleasure and amusement , here are a few fetish dating sites.
Bondage, handcuffs, sadism/masochism , anal, humiliation — you name it, this site has it. BDSM offers a “safe” community, as it can be embarrassing or hard to talk about this fetish with just anyone. It provides a great outlet and allows a place to meet and chat with people who share your interest in S&M . Not to mention it's a stellar place to buy toys and things attributed to the fetish.
If you’re a younger man seeking an older woman , or an older woman seeking a younger man, this site is for you. It allows you to meet and mingle and fulfill your MILF fetish. This website is still up and coming so the clientele is limited but worth looking into nonetheless.
This site can be used for international and national services. Men or women who have a fetish for males who dress as females. Seventy-four percent of the website’s users are males, while the other 26 percent of users are females. People flock to the website in search of love, marriage, sex, and friendship. If you love yourself a ladyboy, then this website is for you.
DailyDiapers’ target audience is adults who enjoy wearing diapers, plastic pants, rubber diaper covers, or other baby type clothes. The fetish itself is primarily known as Adult Baby/Diaper Lovers (or AB/DL for short). This fetish is known to be a fairly difficult one to admit among the AB/DL community, so many take comfort in the 30,000+ other forum members.
This site is for any male who loves a good foot fetish and any female who wants to get her feet worshiped. Basically, this site opens men up to a variety of women who love to wear heels and show off their feet in order to please men.
The whole purpose of this fetish dating site basically says it right in the name. This site is a community for those who prefer women that can still satisfy their needs with a penis ... just a fake one. Whether you’re a single man or woman seeking another single, or a couple seeking another couple, this could be the place for you.
This site takes BDSM to the next level. It focuses in on the spanking part of S&M. The thing about finding people who are serious about making spanking a real part of their sex lives is that it’s actually really hard. A lot of people end up being fakes or not as into it as they made it seem. But this site provides a safe and accepting community of people who are committed to that lifestyle.
Cuckold dating is one of the most popular things to do among swinging couples . This provides a way for men and women in a committed relationship to pleasure themselves by watching their significant other having sex with another person. If you’re a swinger or a single man or woman looking to get involved with swingers, this might just be the place for you.
Dr. Dawn Michael is an international certified clinical sexologist and relationship expert. She is the co-owner of The Sexual Health and Wellness Center in Southern California. Her writing has appeared on Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Huffington Post, Fox News and NBC News. You can reach her at www.thehappyspouse.com and follow her on Twitter .
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
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Not everyone gets BDSM, but those of us who do understand it as the perfect middle ground between pure lust and true love.
When you “play” with a partner you get a strong emotional connection, an intense rush, and some even say a blissful or out-of-this-world climax.
But what are the best fetish websites and BDSM sites out there?
Here we’re going to discuss the best BDSM fetish dating sites, as well as a general introduction to the lifestyle and the community.
We chose Adult Friend Finder as our #1 pick because it offers the largest fetish community and lets you search for an endless number of sexual niches with its forum option.
There’s also a social media feature so you can post all about your kinks and experiences.
Adult Friend Finder is the most thriving kink website and that certainly matters when dealing with the BDSM lifestyle. You don’t want to be a lone wolf!
Add video chat, swingers, threesomes, and LGBTQ+ friendliness into the mix, and you’ve got a winner!
Fetlife is the most popular free dating site for kinksters and like-minded people.
The site offers free chat, photos, video, and an easy social network-style layout that lets you search for kinks and add friends or follow members who are into the same lifestyle.
There have been many sites like FetLife, but none measure up to this juggernaut of the kinkster community.
Fetlife also introduced a mobile FetLife app recently, which offers notifications, messaging from the site, a stealth mode for public viewing, and even a Discover option for nearby events. Nice!
Alt.com is one of the largest BDSM dating website communities. Alt offers photo trading, fetish dating, swingers and couples, and even member cameras. You can join for free and start looking around for your kink and other users into the same stuff.
Alt.com offers amateur chat as well as experienced doms and dommes for the complete BDSM adventure. You can also extend your search to countries across the world and find like-minded kinksters anywhere .
Ashley Madison is not necessarily a fetish website, but it is probably the most discreet place on the internet for a married affair .
You can run a search on a specific kink or you can search locally to see who’s nearby and what their favorite kink is.
While the site doesn’t do kink matches, talking about your kink to a new friend is one of the best ways to start a strictly sexual relationship .
With over 900,000 members, BDSM.com is a sex-positive website with a fast-growing community of fetishists.
Here, you can find over 340 groups devoted to unique kinks, including FemDom, bound and gagged, high heels and boots, no limits roleplay, and kinky and geeky.
Let’s just say there are kinky girls and guys aplenty.
You can form your own group, and check out over 250,000 member videos. Give it a try!
Seeking.com is not a kink matching site by design, but it caters to one popular niche – the sugar daddy spoiling his sugar baby.
Ideally, you need some cash to splash.
Oftentimes that sugar dynamic turns into dom/sub or master/slave kinks, especially with the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey.
More than a website – Fetish.com is a portal to the greater BDSM community. At Fetish.com, the site’s primary feature is offering maps to local MUNCHES which are PG-rated meetup groups for everyone.
Membership is free and you can browse forums, chat, and take your search almost anywhere in the world. The site offers a combination of community and dating/matching.
The Fantasy App, not to be confused with Fantasy.com, is an app exclusively for polyamorous and open marriage relationships.
There’s no need to ask about marital status, but you can be assured that everyone here believes in ethical dating, safety, health, and reciprocity.
Whiplr has a growing community with over 1.2 million members, 600,000 photos, and 50,000 chats and video calls.
The community offers a variety of fetishes, including newcomers, cuckholders, masters, slaves, and 24/7 slave-master setups. The site also sponsors fetish meetups across the world.
KinkD is an app that matches together kinksters and BDSM users, while also offering a social network for all its users.
Whether you’re single, a couple, or swingers, you can join, post on walls, chat, view stories, meet up, and even follow the most popular users in the community.
Things can get very specific here, from threesomes to even Christian or Jewish BDSM.
Kinkoo started in 2017 but it’s getting along nicely, with a vetted community that weeds out spammers and fakes, and also matches users together using its own algorithm.
The site also offers education and kink feeds for each user, which serves as an icebreaker, as well as the introduction of a soft or hard limit.
Fetster is a free kinkster website that operates as both a social network and a meetup group.
Extreme fetishes are all over, from cuckolds to CBT, pegging, master-slave, rope-play, suspension, deprecating, caging, and spanking .
Search locally, or by city, start chatting, and no premium membership is required.
You can even make your own groups if you don’t find one you like – that’s an excellent feature for specific kinks and fetishes.
Reddit is one of the easiest sites to use, given that it’s free and has a laid-back personal ad posting approach to its community.
The Fetish Reddit community has 145,000 users and even has active subgroup moderation.
You can tag your ad and post by location, age, and whatever kink you’re looking for. Reddit’s best feature? The personal ad can change to an active chat with just one click.
Literotica is known as more of a sexting dating site and a bit of an old website since they haven’t bothered updating their layout since the turn of the century.
But it’s one of the best places to meets fellow kinksters solely because of the huge free archive of erotic fiction available onsite.
BDSM is a very general term referring to a broad community of people who have very specific sexual preferences or even non-sexual kinks.
You will experience intense emotional highs, similar to love, but with a much more diverse view of relationships and commitment.
BDSM can be summarized by 4 distinct ideas:
First things first, nobody wants to play with a dangerous psychopath who doesn’t understand that BDSM is a game and not a literal dungeon of doom.
That’s why the best and only way to start a conversation with a new friend is to talk like a normal human being and speak the language of your fellow kinksters.
That means being safe, sane, and consensual . No method acting in the beginning – there’s no need to audition or impress. Be friendly and approachable and then explore the kinks you have in common.
Sessions of play are sometimes called “scenes” requiring a Dom, Sub, or Switch. If a website asks you whether you’re a Dom, Sub, or Switch, this means whether you like to be:
Despite what you would assume, the Receiver/Sub is usually the one who directs “the scene.”
Dominants are trying their best to give pleasure to the submissive so that the submissive will keep using a Dom’s services. Successful negotiation increases trust and partners can closely bond together after so many sessions.
BDSM players do not like an abusive or arrogant Dom that doesn’t understand the psychology or responsibility of directing the scene. Bad Doms who don’t know what they’re doing are often shunned from the community, so be careful!
Speaking of rules, trust is easy to promise but sometimes hard to live up to. Don’t assume you can improvise. Stick to the system of hard/soft limits to avoid making an enemy for life.
If someone mentions any of these phrases when discussing fantasies, pay close attention:
The easiest way to join the BDSM community is to not make a big dramatic scene, but rather to introduce yourself in the forum discussions, search for your kinks, like photos or member posts, and request to follow or chat with someone interesting.
Still, be careful not to be too pushy when you first start. There’s no need to score a date the first night or even the first week of joining the community. Just chill and get to know people first.
This can be tricky because some financial interactions are perfectly legal (i.e. webcam work, being a Domme, or escorting for companionship ), but others are not, namely prostitution.
Even “consensual financial domination” (sending money for doms to insult you) is a legitimate thing.
However, if someone volunteers to meet you and do “anything” for financial compensation, be very suspicious. Follow your instincts and don’t run off with new members who have no connections in the community.
Here are the 7 mistakes I see guys make the most:
It’s encouraged to sign a contract beforehand, and not just a symbolic contract.
A literal bondage contract shows each other that you respect the agreed-upon boundaries and are willing to oversee the safety of your partner at all times.
While Fetlife came very close to reaching #1, it just falls short of Adult Friend Finder ’s variety, ease of use, and exciting social media interface.
Still, Fetlife is free to use and has a mobile app version which is very handy.
But our research saw AdultFriendFinder had the biggest community and the most sexual niches to choose from .
Whichever website you end up using, remember to play safe, follow the rules, and have a good time!
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting the Village Voice and our advertisers.
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