Fetish Crossdressing

Fetish Crossdressing
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Both within and outside of the mental health community there is a tremendous amount of debate about whether fetishistic cross-dressing can be classed as a mental disorder or considered a form of sexual deviance. The debate is fierce in part because of an alarming gender double standard: women wear stereotypically masculine garments every day with little consequence, and sometimes do so for sexual reasons, though this is not widely understood.
What is considered deviant is entirely socially prescribed as are the gender norms which govern a great deal of male and female behavior. In a culture which rewards men for masculinity and punishes them for attributes relegated solely to women, it is considered unacceptable and even disordered for men to dress in women’s garments, and especially to find sexual satisfaction from doing so. The very idea is aberrant insofar as it threatens to dismantle what is manly about men, even while there may be, in reality, no actual threat.
The reasons for punishing social stigmas around gendered behaviors may be evolutionary. If men or women begin to behave in ways out of alignment with social prescriptions for their genders, the group becomes unstable thereby placing its future-i.e., its potential offspring-at risk. Punishing members who defy norms is a long standing mammalian instinct; wolves do it, chimpanzees do it, humans certainly.
A paraphilia is a condition in which a person’s sexual arousal and gratification is strongly linked to objects or persons outside the norm. Sometimes paraphilias are dangerous or illegal such as in the case of necrophilia or pedophilia, but this is not always the case. For example, there is foot fetishism and nasophilia, attraction to noses. Transvestic fetishism, the term applied to the act of cross-dressing for sexual pleasure, is such an example-a behavior which is neither explicitly dangerous nor illegal.
Transvestic fetishism should not be confused with female impersonation-those who dress in female clothing to entertain-or with transsexualism, those who feel strongly that their sex (biologically assigned genitals) does not match their gender (internal understanding of one’s identity) and so may cross-dress in order to feel a stronger sense of alignment between the two.
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) lists transvestic fetishism in its latest revision of the manual for diagnosis of mental illnesses, the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders-IV-TR (DSM-IV-TR), under the paraphilias along with pedophilia and piquerism, which is a form of criminal sexual sadism that involves stabbing or biting or cutting, to name just two.
A predominantly misunderstood fact is that the vast majority of transvestic fetishists are heterosexual men, although some may be bisexual. Associating men who cross-dress with homosexuality is a large part of the stigmatizing force which causes men to remain secretive about their habits even when it may be beneficial for them to tell. Although all people who find sexual gratification in a particular clothing item associated with the opposite sex (or from dressing entirely as that sex at times) may not feel ashamed or concerned or in any other way suffer undue stress regarding their desires, many others do. This is where a diagnosis may have some benefit.
When an issue is considered to create dysfunction in the life of its bearer, therapy-whether medical, psychological, or a combination-is believed to be a best course of action. An issue is acknowledged to be a dysfunction when it can be shown to cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
Here’s an example: A marine veteran in his early twenties acquired a fetish for wearing women’s underwear. He first fantasized of the act and felt a rush of excitement about his secret. When he finally acted on it, he experienced a sexual thrill. In the beginning, he took and wore the undergarments of his lover, but began to keep them so that he felt he was forced to lie when she asked if he’d seen any of her missing panties. His thrill became layered with a psychological tension; lying to his girlfriend and hiding her panties which he felt he could never reproduce. His thrill was heightened when he began to purchase new women’s undergarments for himself that he began to wear under his clothing to work. It was a secret only he knew until his new girlfriend discovered several pairs of underwear that were not hers. He felt forced to lie again, ending this relationship. In his thirties, his habit had become more than sexual. It felt almost like an addiction to him, and one he felt a great deal of shame and secrecy about. He began changing in the bathroom at his office before going home to his wife, but one evening he was witnessed changing under the stall when he dropped a garment. Now someone in his office knew and he felt sick and worthless and burdened by the idea that his homophobic officemate believed him to be gay. At home, his wife knew about his habit but had made it clear that she wanted him to stop. She found his cross-dressing confusing and it frightened her.
In this example, our fetishist can be considered to experience significant distress. What began as a thrilling fantasy with layers of excitement built around its secrecy becomes something he struggles to hide and feels he must lie about, causing him cognitive dissonance and psychological distress. When he is caught, relationships which matter to him end. Relationships with coworkers are eventually compromised and he begins to lose his sense of self-worth, his dignity. He feels more and more that a practice that once held excitement and gratification is now a burden; that it is like an addiction, one that has the power to hurt his marriage and his career.
Not all sexual fetishists and certainly not all transvestic fetishists feel disabled or distressed by their desires, but some do. Anything that may hold this kind of debilitating power-no matter what it is-should be looked at with a compassionate and therapeutic eye, though not necessarily because it is a behavior which society has historically perceived as outside the norm. Only in the last several decades has homosexuality been removed as a diagnosis for a mental disorder by the APA. It is now considered therapeutic best practice to encourage patients to accept their homosexuality.
The benefit of any disabling disturbance bearing a diagnosis is that more people would be able to be treated by trained professionals, more professionals would be able to be adequately trained in the subject, and more insurance companies would pay out for the services rendered. The harm of having a mental illness diagnosis for certain paraphilias which are not illegal nor dangerous but merely outside the norm is that they perpetuate the stigmatization of marginalized groups and serve to further malign and stereotype individuals who might otherwise have little to no dysfunction without the continued stigmatization. These are cultural problems and although psychology and medicine are institutions, those engines with the greatest power to influence culture, it takes the work of individuals acting on their own to change the tides.
If a woman wearing a man’s necktie is of little consequence, it may be too much to ask that men carry the psychological burden of emasculation should they be caught slipping privately into silks and satins. And who’s to say the necktie is the domain of man, satin the providence of woman?
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America's Foremost Transgender Woman

Do you Relish crossdressing for that special sensation? Here's a few tips to make your fun even better
Most guys that crossdress will never leave the house dressed as a girl. In fact, most will never tell anyone about their turn-on associated with privately wearing women’s clothes. It’s my guess that about 30% of all men have some sort of erotic fixation with women’s lingerie & trim. If for no other reason? It acutely reminds them of their female lover. In other words? It’s normal. Additional related chapters Included in this section Include: How to Crossdress Crossdressing Tips for Beginning Fetish Crossdressers Crossdressing Tips - Beginners Crossdressing Wig Selection, Care and Tips Crossdressing Shopping and Fashion Guide Tips for Taking Great Photos as a Crossdresser Learning to Live Happily as a Part Time Trans-Woman Tips for Wives and Girlfriends of Crossdressers Sex and the Transgender Girl Or… take a glance through some of my free personal favorite photos: Imagine if today’s woman was never allowed to don pants or jeans. Think they wouldn’t face a similar desire to express aspect of their persona? The most important goal for a private, fetish cross dresser is to rid yourself of any personal shame associated with your fun. Let’s face it: everybody has some twist when it comes to turn-on’s: some guys love feet, others relish hanky-spanky…whatever! The point is if you enjoy it and you’re not hurting anyone? Why should you feel bad about finding pleasure? You’re right. You shouldn’t. Make no mistake - this is the most important lesson I can give you. Your desire to crossdress is not something to be ashamed of - its something to embrace and incorporate into a healthy dynamic in your life. I can still recall all the shame I once harbored every time I dressed and after I "released" - know what I'm talking about? The burning desire, the build up, the fun - the shame. Such a horrid cycle - completely wrong. In time - you'll come to let go of the latter aspect - and just enjoy this amazing part of your life! Keep your forward progress going “forward” One of the biggest problems for private, fetish cross dressers is they often construct a female fantasy life much further ahead than their actual female self. How’s that? They’ll sometimes post intense fantasy hook-up date desires on Craigslist, etc. or “borrow” photos of another transgender gal for use in dating sites or chat groups. My advice? Steer clear of these bad habits. It ends up putting you into potentially unhealthy situations and makes you feel even more isolated. Do yourself a big favor: schedule a professional transformation makeover and start finding out how pretty you could look - inside and out on your own. You don’t have to go out in public - just explore your possibilities! Most men can’t imagine they could ever look presentable as women when they’re in fantasy mode. Don’t feel alone or be anxious. Every lovely trans-girl was once very afraid to express her need. Likewise, many of us leaned towards some pretty edgy fantasies in our dreams. Transformation is a skill set - it can be learned. Don’t stay isolated…grow! Unique for You I created a separate section regarding tips for fetish cross dressers since the design and imagery of such fashions are often substantially different than a cross dresser would wear out in public with hopes of “passing” as a woman.

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Transvestic fetishism is a disorder where one derives sexual arousal from wearing clothes of the opposite sex. The majority of such cases involve males wearing female clothing, but there are some reports that females also derive similar sexual pleasure from wearing men’s clothes. The disorder is only considered a problem if the individual has been deriving sexual pleasure from cross dressing for at least six months. Moreover, the urge to cross dress must cause some type of personal stress and affect both lifestyle and interpersonal relationships.
The exact number of people who are into transvestic fetishism is unknown because it is typically a behavior performed at home and not many people brag about it. What is known is that the behavior usually starts in early adolescence and continues throughout life. Men who practice this behavior are often sexually aroused by wearing female garments which may include bras, panties, corsets, slips, girdles, stockings, shoes and even jewelry. These individuals will often masturbate while wearing clothing or may get aroused from just fondling the items. The majority of people who practice this behavior are heterosexuals, usually married or with partners who are fully aware of the fetish. In many cases, these people also have children and lead an otherwise normal life.
Transvestic fetish is usually performed in private but many males do wear female undergarments to work. Of course, the clothing is worn under regular work clothes.
Transvestic fetishism and trans-sexual disorder are not the same. With the former, the individual still wishes to live his or her life as a member of his or her current sex.
Transvestic fetishism is not considered illegal or criminal and most of these individuals lead normal lives. Just like some people like to watch pornographic movies for sexual arousal, these individuals like to cross dress for the purpose of sexual arousal. Problems usually arise when this type of fetish is combined with other paraphilias like pedophilia or voyeurism.
Most people who practice this type of fetish behavior do not want to be treated because they usually are not harming anyone. For those who feel like their behavior is interfering their work and relationships, treatment comprises of cognitive behavior therapy and use of certain medications (SSRIs) to diminish the urge to cross dress. Unfortunately, despite treatment relapse rates are high.
Source:
http://wiki.susans.org/index.php/Transvestism
I’ve been cross dressing since grade school. I was lucky to have my first girlfriend in high school not only ok with it but really liked it when i dressed up for her! We would play dress up an make out every time we got intimate for years. Eventually, we broke up and tried to find a girl that was into me cross dressing for her during sex and it didn’t happen soon enough and when I did try and get with a lady and was not able to dress up or at least have a pair of cotton panties on, I would not be able to maintain an erection. I started to hang out at adult bookstores and spending a lot of time in the video arcades in back, all dressed up, and at first, I told myself I was just there to masturbate, cause I did not have a girlfriend.... but the sounds of the other men masturbating in the booths around me and the smells got me sooo aroused!
And, as it turned out, a lot of the guys, esp the older ones, were very into my cute little outfits. I started going to different bookstores all around the city and at first I went almost everyday, sometimes hanging out all day getting to know myself and the pleasures of older men. As much as I like to dress up like a girl and play with guys, I am mostly happy to be a guy when not being sexual. It was confusing for a while though and this article helped me realize it’s ok to be a guy in normal life and then play dress up for fun. I’ve felt a sort of social pressure to “become a woman” from the trans movement, which I’m fully supportive if someone wants to do that, but I’m glad there’s a term for men like me who absolutely love dressing up as a woman but would prefer to keep the gender I was born with! Thanks for the article! It’s been so helpful! Are there any other articles you have written on the subject or any other articles you can recommend?
Thanks, L
i wish i know this earlier, i have the same behaviour wear i wear female clothing i feel arouse and always masturbate and thought i am a transsexual and after i went for sex change surgery and right after that i know i made a mistake, i should be a male that like cross dressing and now i lost my penis and testicles which i miss them so much and stuck in a female body
I love dressing up in girlie clothes it make me feel so good and yes I get sexual pleasure from it. I would like to buy my own clothes but get embarrassed while shopping, going into shops to look and then walk away in case people are watching. I am really jealous of you gals that are more brave, bless you. I love make up and am lucky enough to have a wife who lets me have her make up to use. I do feel guilty but as I get older I am coming to terms with how I feel, still love it and I now know this will never change. Jo xx
why are you calling it a disorder? is what it is nothing out of order.
The internet has given people like me a lot of relief , from dealing with people who don't understand ! Women have so much more to choose In fashion than a monkey suit ! I love my "disorder" and wouldn't change for the world !!
I started cross-dressing at a very young age - it's long, long story and I have come a long, long way. However, after many years, a long loving marriage, children and many, many guilty purges, now in my fifties I accept and embrace my famine side. I still, at times, struggle with unnecessary guilt when I come across prejudice (quite often). Society, unfortunately, listen and believe people like the good Dr Shamir Benji, who 'sell' cross-dressing as a mental health problem. Due to this Cross-dressers are, or feel, compelled to hide their famine side - least society should find out - else one is ostracized for being 'different'. Therefo
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