Femdom Children

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“If you want your wife to be a Goddess, worship her.” — Clairette de Longvilliers
Every Sunday afternoon we have a family meeting to discuss behaviour, roles and responsibilities in the family and things like pocket money allowances for the children and for George. There is very little embarrassment for George when his allowance is discussed at the same time as the children’s. This is because the children were much younger when these meetings started, so the discussion of how much pocket money their father is to be allowed for the following week is now seen as completely normal.
We all sit down in the living room while I speak. For the last couple of weeks I have required George to sit on the floor by my feet (see my previous post). My husband has the freedom to speak at these meetings, but only to back up my words with his own reassurances. The children listen and ask questions if they wish further clarification, but generally they accept that what is being asked of them is reasonable. We also review the previous week since our last meeting.
I try to give the girls more responsibility or supervisory roles, and I give my son tasks to improve his behaviour or demeanour. The purpose of these gender-specific assignments is to develop self-confidence in my daughters and for my son to develop a respect for women and female authority. In today’s changing workplace, it is more and more likely that Ben will at some point be working for a female manager. The more prepared he is now, the more comfortable he will be when that situation arises. Many girls grow up not believing in their own abilities and, in consequence, fail to reach their full potential in life. Conversely, boys are naturally more confident, but too often this manifests itself through aggression and conflict.
I have found that the more responsibilities I give to 12-year-old Louise, the more responsibilities she asks for! This is not always the case with Rachel, age 9, whose character is naturally more reserved. It is my hope that Rachel will learn from Louise and come to see the benefits of responsibility as, in return for this, Louise is given more freedoms.
Occasionally silly things will disrupt the Sunday afternoon meeting. A couple of months ago, for instance, Louise and Rachel had a quarrel over a borrowed blouse and hairbrush. These are not issues to be brought up at these meetings! After this squabble, I spoke to both of them quietly and in private and told them that by arguing with one another, they were not setting a good example for their father and brother. I explained to them that if they wanted to take on more responsibilities, especially supervisory roles, they must learn not to argue between themselves. Since that discussion, things are definitely improving between the two girls. Teaching children can sometimes be a very slow process—but what a rewarding one when important lessons are learned!
One of the topics at a recent family meeting was Ben’s tardiness in the mornings. It was causing problems for the rest of the family, delaying his siblings who had to wait for him before setting off to school. Nine-year-old Ben is not as organised as his sisters and could never seem to find the right shoes, socks, shirt or tie, etc., for his school uniform in the morning. This frustrated him, and the rest of family had to put up with his frequent tantrums.
Therefore I decided to put the girls in charge of making sure that Ben would always have the correct clothes for his uniform. I suggested this to the family group, and Rachel’s first comment was “but that’s just more work for us!” I explained that she would not be sorting out Ben’s clothes herself, but supervising him. I went on to say that, in return, Ben could do something to help his sisters. We discussed this for no more than a minute before Louise came up with the answer. She said, “If we supervise Ben to get his clothes ready, could he collect our dirty clothes and take them to the laundry room for us?” This was agreed to by all of us, including Ben, who received a reassuring smile and nod from his father.
After the meeting, the girls and Ben went up to his bedroom. Louise and Rachel spent more than two hours showing Ben how to sort his clothes into different drawers, how to use hangers properly in the wardrobe and where to put his shoes, and so on.
The girls then came up with their own action plan, which is still in use now several weeks after the initial meeting. Louise and Rachel take turns going into Ben’s room the night before a school day and supervising him, while he gathers each item of clothing that he will need the next day. He is instructed to lay them out on his bed to ensure nothing is missed. Once all of the clothes are there, he is told to lay them carefully over the back of his chair before he goes to bed.
In return for the girls’ supervision, Ben now collects their soiled clothes on Wednesdays and Saturdays (these are the designated days on which my husband does the household laundry). Ben will knock on his sisters’ bedroom doors and ask to collect their clothes and take them to the laundry room along with his own.
The outcome of all this is that Ben’s tardiness has now stopped completely. We used to be delayed by him nearly every day before this system was introduced. Now everyone sets off on time in the mornings, and, believe me, this creates a much more harmonious household.
In this way all of my children learn the benefits of female authority. My son learns that taking instructions from girls and doing tasks for them are completely normal things for a boy to do, while my daughters learn that the supervision of boys has benefits (laundry collection in this case) as well as being fun, especially for bossy Louise! Typically, although they were going to take it in turns, it is Louise who is doing far more of Ben’s uniform inspections than Rachel. It is quite obvious to everyone that she enjoys this supervisory role over her brother.
One thing that I would like to mention here is a rule that I implemented quite some time ago. It relates to my experience with my brothers when I was a teenager (see my earlier post). I have relaxed the rule a little for my own family, as I used to give my brothers no warning at all before entering their rooms.
The rule is that my daughters are allowed to enter Ben’s bedroom after a quick knock on the door and announcing themselves as they enter. However, if my son wishes to visit either of his sister’s room, he must always knock and then wait for permission to enter. He is never to enter without permission or supervision.
Implementing this rule had always been in the back of my mind because of my teenage experiences. However, events overtook me a couple of years ago, making me put the rule into place much earlier than I had expected.
At the age of 7, Ben was going through a silly stage. He wanted to play hide and seek with the rest of the family, and always, it seemed, at the most inappropriate times. Even though he was told that no one else was playing, or wanted to, he would hide all over the house, including the girls’ and our bedrooms. He hid in wardrobes, under beds, inside closets, that sort of thing. If he was hiding in his own room, he would not answer a knock on the door. Likewise, if he was called for lunch or dinner or to go out, he would not answer. The whole family had to waste time searching for him. Then, when we were all on the verge of screaming, he would jump out and scare a family member, to his own vast amusement, and end up having a fit of giggles on the floor.
Thankfully, after a few exasperating months, Ben grew out of this phase, but the rule instituted then still stands today. Girls are far more sensible and deserve the extra trust we give them.
In the next post I will continue to write about different aspects of my family life, including Louise’s limited supervision of her father in certain tasks.
Amanda, thank you for sharing this insight into your family life.

There can be many dynamics involved in allowances and it's interesting that your family discusses this on a weekly basis. Are these discussions primarily one on one between you and the allowance recipients? Or would it be appropriate to include (or elicit) your daughter's opinions and thoughts when deciding upon your son's allowance?

This might be helpful for them to assess how good a job he did at setting out his clothes and collecting their soiled laundry. If he does a good job and isn't wasteful of their time, they could reward him with a larger allowance. If he's difficult or causes them problems, it could reduce his allowance.

-Db

(use to sign as just -D but since then another -D showed up and also a -David, so to distinguish myself from them I'm adding the b)
It's great that the children are brought up experiencing females in charge of the males of the family- both by example of the father's allowance, and the son working for his sisters in exchange for their guidance.

And notice how much better it all works out! No doubt the girls will grow up as FIRM believers in female authority in the home, and the boys will grow up with willing (and hopefully eager) acceptance.

Thank you, Ms Amanda, for teaching them..... and us.
Dear Ms. Amanda,

Thanks again for another insightful post.

As much as I support matriarchal families, I sense that your husband is being put in a humiliating position in the family meetings. As the family matriarch, it is certainly up to your discretion what type of allowance your husband receives. But is this something for a family meeting? Even a limited supervisory role of the daughters over their father seems inappropriate to me because he is still their father. As head of the home, you are entitled to make all decisions and you deserve and are entitled to your husband's support in all matters. It is also perfectly appropriate that the daughters should have supervisory roles over their brother so that he will learn proper respect for his sisters and also learn and accept that women are entitled to leadership positions. He must not only accept but internalize matriarchy for his lifetime.

My issue is that your husband is your partner, albeit the junior partner. You are the General and he is the Colonel so to speak. Maybe your daughters can be seen as master sargents and the son as a private.

In my family, I respect all my wife's decisions, and my both of my sons know that she is our family 'leader'. While my wife does not exactly acknowledge this, she knows it and is very assertive. I fully accept that my place is to love, honor, and obey her until death do us part...

Respectively,
Lynn
Responsibility must also be accompanied by being responsible.

It might of been thought a chore to supervise at first by the younger sister but it soon became enjoyable for her along with help with her laundry.

What is important though is that she learns to discharge her authority responsibly. And this is a great opportunity for her to do so.

It will give something for son and father to talk about as a shared experience. Perhaps they can compare how they both do the same duty.

Femsup
Hi Amanda,
I enjoyed hearing about the way you run your family. You make an FLR seem so common sense and uncontroversial. One thing I picked up on was that you had your daughters resolve their disagreements away from the males of the family. This is a wonderful example of female solidarity. So often women compete with each other and pull each other down. But, a matriarchy means that women keep a united front and support each other in the presence of males. In the same vein I noticed how you instructed your husband to speak at family meetings only to support your authority. That too keeps the males of your family thinking that female authority is natural and beneficial for all--which it is. Of course, all this is based on intensive training of your husband, which I'm dying to hear about.

LS
Thanks so much for sharing snippets from your life and marriage. I love the firmness and thoughtfulness that you have with regard to running your home, parenting your children and loving your husband. It's refreshing and there is a continuous undertone of love that one can feel as they read your words. Thanks. I hope that you realize the value that you have by posting on a blog that is read by so many. I hope you will stick around for many months and continue to be a source for other women of a commonsense approach to a wife led home. Thank you!
I'M HERS - I'm mostly on the sidelines (as a silent cheerleader) these days, but I have to respond to your comment above... with an "Amen!" Especially when you write "there is a continuous undertone of love that one can feel as they read your words." Yes, exactly, so well said! For me, Ms. Amanda personifies Loving Female Authority.
I agree wholeheartedly some of the above people commenting. You set the right example in the household with love and the discipline many children are lacking nowadays. Thank you for sharing you experiences again Amanda!
Db – Our family discussions about allowances are indeed done on a one to one basis between the recipient and me. However other family members may make comments. I make the final decision on allowances after reviewing the previous week’s behaviour. At several recent meetings, we have reviewed Ben’s uniform inspections and his laundry collection duties. So far, the girls have been satisfied with Ben’s demeanour during their supervision of him and of his laundry collection service.

If however, the girls had had cause to complain, then it would be discussed at the meeting. Ben would be given the chance to reply, but if I thought that his explanation was not valid, I would withhold some or all of his allowance. George would back up my decision later by having a quite word with Ben away from the meeting.


Antwerp – Thank you. I have found that these meetings are very effective in providing clear boundaries of what is and what is not acceptable. Ben already respects his sisters as well as other females. With our continued loving guidance, this respect will grow.


Lynn – In all of your comments I have sensed a reluctance on your part to fully embrace female authority. George has no such problem with this. He does not in any way feel humiliated by his position in the family or by the fact that his allowance is discussed in front of the children. All of his actions are done to please me. That is what FLR’s are all about!

You have only mentioned your sons and so I presume that you do not have a daughter. If you did, then you would have the same feeling that all fathers have for their daughters. A feeling of overwhelming awe and the need to protect and help them to achieve their full potential. Almost all fathers at some time call their daughters “Princess”. There is a reason for this. The father is subconsciously putting his daughter on her rightful pedestal.
As you will see in my next post, Louise’s limited supervision of her father is not only necessary, but also has much wider benefits.


Femsup – You are absolutely correct. The purpose of these small steps is to gradually introduce my daughters to female authority. As they prove themselves to be more and more responsible, they will be given more and more authority.

George does talk to Ben regularly about having respect for his sisters, his mother and all females.


LS - FLR is common sense! I never argue with the girls in front of Ben. He needs to understand that their authority over him is backed by me. It is my intention to write a future post about my “intensive training” of George from our first meeting up to the blissful female led life we enjoy today. Watch this space .....


I’m Hers & Mark – It is very important to be firm and consistent when teaching children. They will pick up on any disagreement between Mum & Dad and use that chink in the parental armour for their own ends! That is why FLR’s make parenting so much easier, as Dad will always agree with Mum! This is the bedrock for a loving marriage and family life.


Jenn - Thank you. Love and discipline go hand in hand. Love for the children and discipline for the husband! Children need constant guidance from parents. Those children who are not guided lose their way and end up with sad broken lives.


Ms Amanda
Ms Amanda,

Thank you for being willing to share these insights into your family life. I love the examples you (and your husband) are setting all your children.

May I urge you to share how you train your husband. I believe many of our wives would value your guidance and may benefit from your methods. As a submissive husband longing for my lady to deepen my submission (we follow the teachings of Ms Rika) and train me to better serve her I can only implore you to reveal all.

You set such a wonderful example and your writing is a jewel to treasure. Please teach us real soon.
Yes I expect there are times when your son baulks at doing something and I am sure his father takes him aside and talks to him after you have of course corrected him.

His father will have a wealth of experience and knowledge to pass on in how to be subservient and to
acquiesce. He will show the boy how to give in gracefully and to find joy in giving in.

Femsup
My Heart’s Desire – Thank you for your kind words. I am indeed going to write a post or two about training my husband. However before that, I intend to write the third and final part of FEMALE AUTHORITY WITHIN THE FAMILY.


Femsup - You are absolutely correct. Teaching children about female authority requires both parents. It is very important that George backs up my authority and my daughters’ authority by talking to Ben regularly. The sooner parents start teaching their children the better.

From an early age Ben saw that his father would stand whenever I entered the room. Ben would also see George ask for my permission to leave the dinner table. This becomes second nature and Ben simply copies his Dad.

We are lucky because this behaviour is reinforced at Ben’s school where the children stand when a teacher enters the classroom. At lunchtime he sits at a table of 8 to 10 children with a teacher or teaching assistant. If he wishes to leave the table, he must raise his hand, wait to be addressed and then ask permission.


Ms Amanda
It is no different to when I was in school and the boys mandate was to take the chairs down from atop the tables for the girls and themselves and to stand whenever a female teacher entered the room.

Perhaps in time they will also see him kiss your hand or foot when he enters or leaves a room.
Dear Amanda,

Thanks for your most recent comment. While I embrace and acknowledge the natural superiority of matriarchal relationships, maybe you are right and deep down I still harbor some resistance to a 'total' commitment to my wife's authority. Maybe this has something to do with my wife's reluctance to accept and ackno
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