Female Tribbing
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And how it differs from scissoring.
There is an abundance of sex positions that are well-known today, some more popular than others. But when it comes to lesbian sex , or sex between two vulva-having people of any identity, it’s not always understood how to do certain positions, or the risks associated with them. Especially because sex ed still largely focuses on sex that involves a penis. Scissoring is often the first position we may think of when " lesbian sex positions " are considered, but it is a term that fits under the wider umbrella of tribadism, otherwise known as tribbing. Here's what you should know about tribbing.
Tribadism or tribbing refers to a sex position that involves two women or people with vulvas rubbing their genitals together for pleasure. Although it's commonly referred to as "lesbian tribbing", this of course can be done with partners of any sexuality and gender identity - be it bisexual , pansexual , queer , or any other LGBTQ+ identity .
It is also tribbing if the vulva is rubbing against a partner’s thigh, stomach or any other body part. Sex expert Portia Brown refers to scissoring as more of a “slang term” that falls under tribadism as a category.
Tribadism has origins that date as far back as ancient Greece, deriving from the Greek word ‘tribas’. In both ancient Greece and Rome, tribadism was used to describe a masculine woman who seduces and penetrates other women.
Of course, language evolves and we now know this term is not associated with penetration, whether with a masculine or feminine presenting woman, but more predominantly with clitoral stimulation.
Our ability to access sex has also evolved, arguably to our detriment as porn rarely reflects reality. “For a lot of us, our first encounters with tribbing comes from mainstream porn and it looks great, porn is supposed to look amazing,” Portia says.
“However, a lot of those positions that porn actresses and sex workers are using are meant to look good for the camera and don’t necessarily actually feel the best or be the most sustainable for sustained stimulation.”
With tribbing, avoid relying on porn for a direct blueprint and instead understand that this sex position will need a lot of patience and communication.
Firstly, lubricant is essential as tribadism requires a lot of friction. Every body produces different amounts of lubricant, therefore using a water-based or organic lube with this position, rather than solely relying on natural wetness, will feel much better. According to Portia, women and people with clitorises are 80% more likely to orgasm than if they do not use a store-bought lubricant. Bonus!
Secondly, there’s no right way to trib. The key is to find the position that works for both parties. Portia suggests one partner resting on their stomach, while the other partner tribs them from behind or one partner lying on their side or on their stomach, and being stimulated by the other.
Additionally, add a sex toy in between the two vulvas and rub against that for a heightened experience. Both clit vibrators and wand vibrators work well in this position.
“You might feel strange because it’s not necessarily something you've seen before, but if it feels good, then there's nothing wrong with it,” Portia adds.
Regardless of the positions you try to make tribbing work for you, the key thing is to ensure both you and your partner are comfortable.
“Not everyone is as flexible as a porn actor and that's okay. You can still enjoy yourself without harming yourself by listening to your body, by listening to your partner and taking your time,” Portia says. “You don't want to force someone's legs behind their head or your legs in a position that isn't comfortable. Sex is never supposed to be painful or uncomfortable.”
As with every sexual act, whether it be genital-on-genital sex or oral sex, lesbian tribbing comes with sexual health risks.
Dr Emma Chan, Sexual and Reproductive Health Lead at School of Sexuality Education , states that although tribbing doesn’t involve a huge amount of bodily fluid being passed from one partner to another, and therefore has a relatively low risk of passing on STIs , it isn’t zero risk, so it’s essential to take safety precautions.
One very common virus that can be spread by direct skin-to-skin contact is Human Papillomavirus (HPV) . Dr Emma says that most sexually active people will get HPV at some point in their lives, but the body tends to get rid of this symptom-less virus on its own, without treatment.
However, it is essential to not dismiss this virus, just because of its low-risk label. If a person has previously had HPV, they are at a higher risk of developing cervical cancer. Although in the UK, young girls are offered the HPV vaccine as part of the NHS vaccination programme.
While there’s no easily available barrier option to use when tribbing, one of the ways to ensure you’re practicing safer sex is to get regularly tested for STIs . It is highly recommended to get a check-up before starting a new sexual relationship or at least every three months if you have sex with different or new partners often.
We’ve established how pleasurable tribbing is supposed to feel, but what exactly makes this position so good? For a lot of women and people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation is the key to an orgasm but for Monique Monrowe, a 29-year-old consultant, artist manager and entrepreneur from London, tribbing is much more than just the end result.
“My first experience was surprising because it felt very natural to me and I was taken back by just how incredible it felt. There were clumsy moments but even the clumsy moments gave me pleasure” she says. “You get the ability to really 'see' your partner enjoy sex whilst being able to kiss them deeply. It's extremely intimate.”
But of course, tribbing will not be for everyone. “I personally have only ever enjoyed the position with other 'femmes' but different strokes for different folks.”
OG Courts, a 28-year-old podcaster from London, discusses her experiences as a lesbian woman on her podcast, Dykes and a Mic (DAAM) frequently. For her, tribadism can be “insanely erotic”, but she admits her first time wasn’t ideal.
“There were a lot of flailing legs (and my legs are long). It was difficult to find a position that suited both of us and was comfortable,” she says. “It made me feel super awkward, I didn’t know how to relax.”
Naturally, everyone will have a different experience with tribbing. It doesn’t always have to lead to orgasm, nor will it always be straightforward but as long as it’s consensual and safe, there’s no harm in trying. Practice makes perfect after all.
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