Female Sub Stories
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Female Sub Stories
Mallory
Richardson
|
Mar 10,
2022
This was a very helpful post to read. I could relate to you with a lot of the things you said, and you’ve given me some different points of view to look through. I really want to become a better wife to my husband, and I believe starting with becoming more submissive is the key for us. Thank you! Reply to Sia
Hello, Mallory! I wanted to thank you for sharing and imparting some practical tips, perspectives, and advice that otherwise, I might not would have considered. I truly appreciated ready your article and wanted to let you know that I could relate on so many levels and areas in my own marriage. Thanks, again!! May God continue to bless your family and your intentions in helping others. Reply to Graciela
Hello my name is Danielle I would love to talk to u some more about this topic and thank you so much Reply to Danielle
Thank you for sharing I enjoyed your post. I am working on becoming a submissive wife. Not just in actions but in my heart Also. I’m glad I came across your blog. Reply to Jonique
Interesting blog. I wonder what % of women actually want to be submissive ? Too much it taught that Submissive people get walked over, abused and generally hurt. Women have been taught to be self confident and strong to be a wife and mother. It seems a hard shift for modern women to be from a generation long ago. Reply to Albert
Rachel,
Being submissive as a wife or partner is not in the same category as abuse. When a wife chooses to be submissive, she still has a voice in the relationship. You are an individual that deserves love and respect, and standing up for yourself and your child in questionable situations is 100% warranted. I encourage you to talk to someone you trust in depth. If you’re willing to see a counselor that can help work some of these ideas and questions out in your head, that would be a great step as well. If you feel things are out of your control or like you and your child are in imminent danger, please call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1−800−799−7233.
I sincerely wish you the best,
Mallory Reply to Mallory
Loved your blog very much!! Reply to Blessy
Just wonderin’ – does submission iinclude staying with an abuser? Reply to Mary
I love these tips also my husband is alway negative no matter what i feel he is not satisfied with anything i do. Reply to Lucinda
Thank you for this article. I am in the process of being the sole provider for my family to being in a relationship and it’s been hard to hand over the reins. This advice will help I’m sure. Reply to Shara
Currently trying to also learn to be submissive, but it’s hard when you have been the one in control. Reply to Sommer
Good day. I actually enjoyed reading this. I’m not married or engaged, I’m in a relationship which I want it to work out this time. So earlier today I was on the phone with my boyfriend and we had some heart to heart talk. And he said I don’t respect him. I don’t listen to him. And I’m not submissive to him. I wasn’t surprise to hear that because my ex told me about it countless times. But I was too stubborn to had listened to him. But now that I’m hearing it again it does hurt. And I thought I was the perfect idea girlfriend all these while. Yes I agreed that I’m a very stubborn person and I hate to be wrong. As for right now I really want to learn and know new things about being submissive to your man because He personally asked me to go and read it. So I’m ever ready to give it a try because I TRULY LOVE HIM. And I want to do all I can to make things work our for us Reply to Edith
Good for you! I know a lot of people will be angry for being willing to submit. After 24 years of “equal” marriage I suggested to my husband we try something different, namely, I submit to him. It’s been amazing. We are closer and happier then ever. I do not look at it as a gender thing – i was not making a statement about all women. Just about me and what was right for me. I don’t believe all women should submit. Only that every relationship be open to ONE being submissive. If it’s not for your relationship- fine. It’s not a magic bullet for marital bliss. It takes someone who is nourished and fulfilled by being submissive (as well as for their partner to be nourished and fulfilled by being more dominant). Such a relationship is not for everyone – but sadly is often dismissed as even a possibility because it is so counter culture. I believe couples should feel free to find what fulfills them. If that’s a co-equal marriage, so be it. If it is a Dom/sub marriage, so be it. Thank you for the confidence to share your journey! Reply to Jennifer
Thank you for this, you are right it takes a strong woman to submit to her husband. I am not married but I am learning how to be a submissive wife when I am married. The idea of submission used to bother me and I would get grossed out but I am so glad I found out the true meaning.
Also I am a Christian woman as well.
I pray that you become a more submissive wife♥️ Reply to Jelaya
I honestly cannot believe some of the negative comments I have seen associated with this post. I have been struggling in my marriage with ours vs mine and yours, I felt like this post was written for me personally and I want to thank you for that. You know what they say, “Haters gonna Hate”. You clearly state that marriages are different and that this works for yours so it’s not like you are saying “Hey everyone, do this or your marriage will fail”. I struggled a bit with the title, but I am glad I took the opportunity to read what you wrote as well as in the comments, you address the word Submissive professionally and eloquently. Thank you so much for putting this out there despite negative feedback. Reply to Hailey
Mallory,
Morgan makes a great point. Just hear me out.
I can truly understand why she would make those comments. So many women work hard and decide to be vulnerable and let their husbands make the final decisions in the household. To the average woman, that’s just crazy!!! Well you’d have to be a little crazy to blindly trust God’s plan. Especially to follow the God-fearing man who HE has sent your life. Your story isn’t for women ONLY for those who want the Godly dream that is portrayed in the Bible. To be a Godly Submissive wife, you have to be wise enough trust in God’s plan for your marriage. There’s a great deal of women who choose to do what Eve did and step in front of their husbands and do it their way. awe talk about those women all the time, statically when discussing divorce. Some of us choose not to walk in Eve’s shoes over and over. Keep telling your story. Every story isn’t for everyone; just as success isn’t for everyone.
The problem is most women is they tend to define the word submissive not in the biblical context. It’s simply aligning yourself with the mission that your husband has for he family. Nothing else. They fight against it and fail to understand that bringing your husband a simple glass of water as he cuts the lawn can help accomplish the mission for that particular task. Reply to Tamara
Growing up, I was taught independence.
I was taught the importance of doing things on my own without having to rely on anyone but myself.
I still believe these are important characteristics; however, when they are ingrained into your being they can have a toxic affect on a marriage.
My husband and I have been together for 10 years.
We recently celebrated our three year wedding anniversary.
I’m going to be honest, year three was our hardest year.
After a disagreement, if his final decision was different than what I believed should happen, I felt as though I was being ignored.
I felt like my thoughts, feelings, and opinions did not matter. That made me bitter going into the next argument.
Then I realized, I wasn’t trusting my husband to be the leader of our family.
Holding a value of self-reliance was damaging my marriage.
I believed that I had to make the decisions. Believing that an individual must be independent, I had previously made all of the decisions for myself.
It wasn’t that I don’t trust my husband. Of course I do.
I was holding on to the fact that I was supposed to be in control of every aspect of my life. All I could think was, “how are we going to make it if I can’t allow my husband to lead our family?”
I was being a road block, and I didn’t want to be anymore. Little did I know that becoming a submissive wife was the answer to mutual respect.
I get that, and it is more than okay in this so called life. Let me say this first, as a disclaimer, I believe women have rights.
I believe they can work , climb corporate ladders, make decisions, obtain degrees and so much more.
With that being said, personally, I have always had a traditional view on marriage.
This view fits our family best. It works for us.
I believe the husband is the leader and final decision maker in the family unit.
Men are meant to love their wives. I believe that a wife is a sound voice, a different point of view, a supporter, and a caretaker. Women are meant to be submissive to their husbands.
Sounds like my view of marriage totally contradicts my instilled value of independence, right?!
It’s difficult to let my husband make the final decisions, when I was taught that I shouldn’t rely on anyone other than myself. I knew what I wanted for our marriage, but I was fighting against myself. So, I decided I was going to learn.
Yes, it sounds scary. It sounds old-school.
Being a submissive woman simply means serving your husband in a way that benefits your marriage. It means focusing on being your husband’s helper, lover, and biggest supporter.
It does not mean your husband is a tyrant, and you are a tiny peon that no longer has an opinion.
Instead, it means that after all has been discussed between you both, that you trust your husband to make the decision. Really, it takes some stress off of you as well!
As moms, we have enough decisions and deadlines to make. It’s okay to let our husbands do their part.
Being a submissive wife actually takes an extremely strong, confident, well-grounded woman.
Over the past several months, as a Christian woman I have been learning to submit to my husband.
I’ve failed many times. I’m stubborn with the best of them, my emotions get the best of me way more than they should, and I like to be right.
Still, I come back to the fact that I believe my husband should be the head of our household. In order for that to happen, some personal changes had to be made.
Here are some things I’ve been working on:
As submissive wives, it is easy to have an opinion about everything. Take time to consider your words and reply with intent rather than emotion.
Give him the trust he deserves as the leader of your family. Let him lead. This is Gods word.
If a direction is taken that you have an opinion about or do not agree with, confront him in private. Do not confront him in front of others or the kids.
This is particularly difficult for me. I’m a worrier by nature.
If your husband is having a bad day or if you had an argument, give him some space. Trust him to talk when he’s ready.
It isn’t necessary to try to control your husband or his day.
You already have enough to control. Embrace the role of helper.
Ask how you can help his day go smoother. Ask what he needs done that he doesn’t have time to do.
Women are intuitive. When you notice something that would help your husband, do it.
My husband works his butt off for our family. I work, but he provides. This is my husband’s wishes for his family!
Without his hard work, my family would go without often. He makes sure we have everything we need and more.
As I’m picking up the dirty socks he leaves on the floor every single day, I get aggravated. Why?
In the grand scheme of things, why do dirty socks aggravate me? When I focus on being grateful (submission) for my husband and his hard work, the small things, like dirty socks, just don’t matter as much.
He is important. As a Christian marriage, we get into routines of packing lunches, shuttling kids to school, making meals, attending kid’s activities, etc. It’s endless. What about each other?
Bring him a glass of ice water when he’s working in the yard or his favorite snack while he’s on the sofa watching T.V. Small actions sometimes speak the loudest.
Trust your husband to listen to you. Trust your husband to seek knowledge from all sides. Trust your husband to make the decision.
There is no one-size-fits-all for marriage. Biblical submission works for us, and it might for you too. If not, I encourage you to find what does. Creating the outline of your marriage, helps guide you as you are filling in the paragraphs.
While I am aiming to be a submissive wife, I have by no means perfected it. I want to continue learning about a healthy marriage, my husband, and how we operate best. My main goal is a happy and healthy life with my husband and children.
I would love to hear your thoughts, tips, or what works for your marriage. Let’s talk about it!
Hi! My name is Mallory, and I am a 30-year-old wife, mommy, employee, PhD student, and blogger. We have two handsome little dudes, ages 4 and 6. They are full of wonderful and sometimes messy surprises. I am currently employed part time and enrolled in a PhD program for general psychology. As a blogger, my goal is to provide an outlet for moms to share, vent, learn, and laugh together!
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My submissive wife experiment: 5 things that are changing my marriage
By Janie | 2022-04-22T19:28:00-04:00 May 20, 2016 | Family , Mama Survival , Wife Life |
If you’re turned off by the “submissive” word in the title, trust me, I GET IT. Keep reading. (Disclaimer: I’m not a perfect wife and quite often a very crummy one. I’m also not a marriage counselor or expert on submissive marriage. I’m simply sharing what’s worked for me.)
It was nap time. I’d finally gotten all 3 boys to sleep. I collapsed onto the couch, and flipped through channels on the TV, until I landed on The Submissive Wives’ Guide to Marriage , on TLC.
I’d never heard of the show, and I was immediately intrigued. But what does it mean? It means going back to the Bible, and learning about what God says about marriage and wifehood.
The word gives me creeps. The heebie jeebies. It makes me think of a slave or servant. A woman who doesn’t speak and doesn’t ever do anything for herself. Who lives to serve her husband, a man who must clearly be a tyrant.
The show profiles Tara Furman, a well-spoken, middle-aged, Christian wife in North Carolina. She’s in a happy, more-than-25-year marriage, and she credits it to her choice to be a submissive wife.
Does it mean she doesn’t have an opinion and lets her husband control her?
It means she focuses on being her husband’s helper, lover and supporter. And as a result, he treats her like a queen.
(In fact, I think being a submissive wife takes a very strong, confident woman.)
So about 8 weeks ago, without saying a word to my husband, I started my own submissive wife experiment. I took a few points from the show and adapted them into my own marriage.
Here are a few of the changes I’ve made:
1. Physically greet my husband at the door when he gets home from work, with a smile and a kiss. Or at least a great attitude.
In the show, Furman asks the viewer, “Is your dog the first person to greet your hubby when he gets home?” Think about it. Your hubby’s been working all day. He’s been gone since 7am. He fights traffic and finally gets to the front door of his home. He opens it. The dog is there to say hello, but no one else even looks up. How heartbreaking. Furman calls this process “reentry,” and every day when her husband gets home, she and their kids deposit their cell phones into a basket and greet Dad at the door. Furman also usually has dinner going and a cold beverage to greet him.
With 2 toddlers and a baby, I’m not always able to do to all of this, but I can make a point to stop whatever we’re doing when the husband gets home, get up from my seat, and physically meet him at the door with a smile and a big kiss. Sometimes, I’m nursing so I don’t stand up but I let the kids greet him at the door, and I give him a big smile and hello. One day, I thought ahead enough to get him an ice water in his favorite blue Solo cup, and had one of the boys walk it out to him at the car. Groundbreaking? No. But it made him feel special and know that we anticipated his arrival home from work.
The point isn’t that you have to have dinner ready or you have to be fake-happy when he gets home. Heck, you may work and not even be home when he gets home. The point is that, in whatever way you can, communicate that your man is respected, he is the leader of the house and that the family is happy when he comes home . If you’re not home when he gets home, can you make his lunch before he goes to work in the morning, or iron the clothes he’s wearing tomorrow? However you can, communicate that you’re grateful for him. In my experience, the attitude is far more important than the action.
2. Embrace my role as my husband’s helper.
I’ve heard this phrase before, but it hadn’t really resonated until seeing the show. I can control my own life, the kids, the house. But when it comes to my husband, I can be content to be his helper. And, here’s what changed it for me: “just” being the helper totally takes the pressure off of me!
With 3 boys 4 and under, I have enough to worry about everyday. So now, instead of micromanaging all that my husband does too, I just let it go. And all I need to do is ask him how I can help.
For example, for years, it’s been my responsibility to manage our rental properties. Now with 3 young children to bathe, feed, change and teach, it is a huge drain to my emotional energy to manage tenants and maintenance of our properties. Rather than trying to do it all myself, I asked my husband to take over. He agreed happily. Since then, he’s been doing an excellent job, and I have the relief of knowing that he will make the best decisions for our family. I don’t need to ask him to give me the rundown of what he’s doing for the properties. All I do is ask, “Is there anything I can do to help you?” The pressure is now off me, and I don’t have to worry about it. And even if something goes wrong, I don’t have the pressure of knowing that the responsibility falls solely on my shoulders. It’s his responsibility.
3. Hold back when I want to direct my husband.
For me, I’m learning that it’s more about what I don’t say, than what I do. And, I’m finding that holding back when I really want to direct, or tell my husband what to do, might actually be communicating more love and respect to him than words ever could.
For example, one night we were grilling dinner, and as is usually the case, it was my job to prepare the sides in the kitchen, and my husband was going to grill the meat outside. We’d decided we wanted to eat at 5:30pm, so around 5pm, I started prepping the sweet potatoes and corn to bake inside, but I noticed my husband wasn’t starting the grill.
Rather than nag him, over and over, to start the grill. And then telling him that he never times the meat cooking correctly, I asked myself, What’s the worst that could happen? Well, the meat won’t be done until after the rest of the dinner. We might be r
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