Female Orgasim What Is It
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Female Orgasim What Is It
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"It's like the burst you feel when you get a text from your crush... but in your vagina."
If you took sex-ed at school, you probably learned all about pregnancy, STIs , and safe sex practices . While all of that is super important, there's a pretty good chance that your teacher never once uttered the word "orgasm" throughout the semester. Which, is pretty weird, considering it's a natural biological function, and sexual pleasure is a normal, healthy part of life.
Let's actually talk about orgasms for a sec. An orgasm is what happens when a person reaches the height of sexual excitement, which comes with feelings of pleasure and muscle contractions in the genitals. For men, this moment also means ejaculating — but let’s talk about the other, awesome kind of orgasm: the vaginal kind.
Since sex-ed teachers aren't discussing it, I talked to Dr. Melisa Holmes, adolescent gynecologist and cofounder of Girlology to answer your most pressing questions about the biological reaction so you can feel more comfortable with your body and the sexual pleasure you deserve.
An orgasm is a physical reflex, brought on through sexual stimulation, most commonly that of the clitoris, which is the most sensitive organ in the vagina. "It's a build up to a time frame during sexual stimulation where there's just this big release of pleasure," says Dr. Holmes. During sexual arousal, blood flow increases to the genitals and your muscles tense throughout your body. The orgasm then "reverses this process through a series of rhythmic contractions," according to Brown University. During an orgasm, "endorphins are released into the bloodstream and these chemicals might make you feel happy, giddy, flushed, warm or sleepy."
Different people are stimulated by different sexual acts, but it really all comes back to the clitoris. Some people may also require the additional sensation of vaginal penetration to orgasm. In general, when you're reaching climax, the clitoris will get engorged and lubricated. "The clitoris may just look like a little bump on the outside, but it actually has a lot more to it on the inside and just the stimulation of that creates this intense kind of burst of pleasurable feelings," says Dr. Holmes.
There are other erogenous zones that feel good when kissed and touched, but they probably won't stimulate an orgasm. "A true orgasm really does require genital stimulation and most medical providers will tell you it stems from the clitoris," Dr. Holmes says.
There's nothing wrong with experimenting and figuring out what allows you to reach sexual climax. It could be oral stimulation of the clitoris, rubbing on the inner thigh, or a mix of multiple things. "The best way to learn, if you're curious, is to teach yourself, give yourself an orgasm," Dr. Holmes says. "Don't rely on other people. I think that's really important to understand that they can make themselves have an orgasm probably better than anyone else can. And they don't need a partner to do that."
An orgasm feels different for everyone, but there are some common experiences like heavy breathing, body vibrations, and sweating. Orgasms can be mild or overwhelming, they range from person to person and time to time. We asked some real girls what orgasms feel like and this is what they said:
"It's like the burst you feel when you get a text from your crush... but in your vagina." — Cam, 15
"I would compare orgasms to going out to eat. You wait and wait for your food, very excited for this meal, then the meal gets there and you take your first bite and you're flooded with happiness. Take a food orgasm and times it by 10!" — Evie, 17
"My clit pulses — a lot. It gets super, super sensitive. Also, I can feel my vaginal walls involuntarily clench, too." — Annie, 20
"Having orgasms makes me feel connected to my own body. It was revolutionary to me the first time I had one. I've had this body my whole life and was missing out on something so big." — Alexis, 17
"Uncontrollable, amazing tingling sensation all over the body." — Kendra, 18
"Like I have no control over my body whatsoever with a ticklish sensation... in the most sexy way possible." — Taylor, 22
As you can see, it feels a little different for everyone, but the common denominator is it feels good.
According to Brown University, one in three people have trouble orgasming from sex with their partner. Since some need clitoral stimulation to climax, simple penetrative sex might not get you there.
When you first start exploring your sexuality, it can take a little bit of time to discover what makes you climax.
Masturbation is the easiest way to explore what will allow you to reach sexual stimulation. Different rhythms, sensations, and pleasures affect people differently. If you're exploring with a partner, there's nothing wrong with asking them to focus on a specific area or action.
There are also external factors, like stress, that may affect your ability to orgasm. "A lot of an orgasm also stems from our brain," Dr. Holmes says. "We have to feel comfortable and safe to have good sexual function." Using drugs and alcohol can also affect one’s ability to climax.
"Everyone thinks alcohol makes sex better," Dr. Holmes says. "And a tiny little bit of alcohol might enhance your sexual experience because it decreases your inhibitions, but too much alcohol can absolutely prevent orgasm. If you're drunk, you may not even notice the stimulation as much, you're a little more numb." Prescription drugs can have a similar affect. "Especially the SSRIs that are used for depression and anxiety. Those are the most common drugs that prevent or inhibit orgasm," Dr. Holmes says.
This is a complicated question because, no, technically you don't have to orgasm during sex. Vaginal penetration or stimulation can still feel good without reaching sexual climax. And biologically-speaking, even if you're trying to have a baby, a vaginal orgasm isn't necessary (of course, the penis must ejaculate because sperm is needed to fertilize the egg). That being said, there may be a biological reason why we have vaginal orgasms: so that we want to have sex again. "It makes sense that sex feels good so that you are willing to have sex," Dr. Holmes says. "So the species can be perpetuated."
So, if you're not orgasming every time with your partner, it's NBD. That being said, if you want to orgasm and you feel like your partner isn't spending the time on you to reach climax, have a conversation about it. If they care about you, they'll put in the extra work to make you feel good.
Carolyn Twersky is an associate editor for Seventeen covering celebrities, entertainment, politics, trends, and health. On her off time, she's probably watching Ru Paul's Drag Race, traversing NYC for the best donuts, or, most likely, enjoying time in her favorite place in the world: her bed.
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Want it, need it, have to have it — but what precisely is happening when you're climaxing? Here, the science behind the female orgasm
It's the only thing that feels better than diving into a cool lake on a sweltering day, biting into a juicy cheeseburger when you're starving, or even getting your wallet back after losing it on vacation abroad. An orgasm is that good. Which is why it bites that it doesn't happen more often. According to several major surveys, only 25 percent of women always climax during sex with a partner. The rest of us either hit — or miss — depending on the night, or never experience a female orgasm during intercourse at all. Compared to the male version (more than 90 percent of men get their cookies off 100 percent of the time), the female "O"; is a fleeting phenomenon. The question is: Why? What the hell was Mother Nature thinking?
Check out 14 mind-blowing facts about orgasms in our animated video:
That's what evolutionary biologists have been trying to figure out — with little success. The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution by Elisabeth Lloyd, Ph.D., a biology professor at Indiana University, shoots holes in virtually every theory that has ever attempted to pinpoint an evolutionary purpose to the female climax. "The clitoris has the indispensable function of promoting sexual excitement, which induces the female to have intercourse and become pregnant," Dr. Lloyd says. "But the actual incidence of the reflex of orgasm has never been tied to successful reproduction." Translation: Because women can and do get pregnant without climaxing, scientists can't figure out why we orgasm at all.
The good news is that most scientists do agree on the how. Here's what they know, so far — and how that knowledge can help the average girl hit her peak more often. Because even if the female orgasm does turn out to be pointless in terms of sustaining the species, it still feels pretty damn good.
When in the throes of an orgasm, you wouldn't notice if your dog, your cat, and your cockatiel started rearranging the furniture. Which makes it unlikely that you could track all the subtle changes that are happening in your body. Luckily, famous sex researchers William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson have done it for you in their seminal work, Human Sexuality. Here's what they found:
That warm, sexy rush you feel during foreplay is the result of blood heading straight to your vagina and clitoris. Around this time, the walls of the vagina start to secrete beads of lubrication that eventually get bigger and flow together.
As you become more turned on, blood continues to flood the pelvic area, breathing speeds up, heart rate increases, nipples become erect, and the lower part of the vagina narrows in order to grip the penis while the upper part expands to give it someplace to go. If all goes well (i.e., the phone doesn't ring and your partner knows what he's doing), an incredible amount of nerve and muscle tension builds up in the genitals, pelvis, buttocks, and thighs — until your body involuntarily releases it all at once in a series of intensely pleasurable waves, aka your orgasm.
The big bang is the moment when the uterus, vagina, and anus contract simultaneously at 0.8-second intervals. A small orgasm may consist of three to five contractions; a biggie, 10 to 15. Many women report feeling different kinds of orgasms — clitoral, vaginal, and many combinations of the two. According to Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., coauthor of The G-Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality , the reason may simply be that different parts of the vagina were stimulated more than others, and so have more tension to release. Also, muscles in other parts of the body may contract involuntarily — hence the clenched toes and goofy faces. As for the brain, a recent small-scale study at the Netherlands' University of Groningen found that areas involving fear and emotion are actually deactivated during orgasm (not so if you fake it).
After the peak of pleasure, the body usually slides into a state of satisfied relaxation — but not always. "Like their male counterparts, women can experience pelvic heaviness and aching if they do not reach orgasm," says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman . In fact, Dr. Kerner says, "many women complain that a single orgasm isn't enough to relieve the buildup of sexual tension," which can leave us with our own "blue balls." Don't worry: Like the male version, it's harmless.
So what goes wrong on those nights when the fuse gets lit but the bomb never explodes? "Nine times out of 10 it's because [the woman isn't] getting enough continuous clitoral stimulation," Dr. Kerner says. Often, "A woman will get close to orgasm, her partner picks up on it, and [then he either] orgasms immediately or changes what he was doing."
That's why Dr. Kerner frequently recommends the woman-on-top position. Because you control the angle and speed of the thrusts (try a back-and-forth motion so that your clitoris rubs against your partner's abdomen), it allows for the most constant clitoral stimulation. Another solution is to find a position that mimics how you masturbate. If you have solo sex by lying on your belly and rubbing your clitoris with your hands tucked beneath you, then your man can enter you from behind in that position. By watching you he'll also get a better sense of the stimulation you need.
"Spectatoring" is another problem that can trip women up. "It's when a woman is too concerned with her appearance and/or performance to actually enjoy herself," Dr. Kerner says. There's no way you're going to have an orgasm if you're fretting about your cellulite or stressing over whether your newest as-seen-on-late-night-cable moves feel good for him. Instead, you have to let the erotic sensations register in your mind. Focus. Breathe. Let go. "It may seem counterintuitive," he says, "but you need to relax to build sexual tension."
The best preparation for a big orgasm is probably a long, steamy shower, full-body massages by and for your man — or 10 minutes of steady oral sex, if you can get it. It's not so much your body that needs the R&R as your mind. "Many women need a transition period between dealing with the stress of everyday life and feeling sexual," Dr. Kerner says. "A few minutes of foreplay usually isn't enough." Doing something ritualistic and soothing that will clear your head of to-do lists, work issues, family problems, and whatever else might be distracting you from connecting with your body is essential to feeling ecstatic.
A Hormone Worth Getting Excited About
The most fascinating orgasmic side effect of all happens in the brain. During the big moment, the hypothalamus releases extra oxytocin into your system. Called the "cuddle hormone," oxytocin has been correlated with the urge to bond, be affectionate, and protect (new moms are drunk on the stuff). Since an increase in oxytocin has been shown to strengthen the uterine contractions that transport sperm to the egg, those findings are giving evolutionary biologists new hope. According to Dr. Lloyd, it's conceivable that the additional oxytocin gives enough of a boost to contractions that orgasm could play a part in conception after all. "Of all the avenues of orgasm research, I think the oxytocin avenue is the most promising," she says. It's even been hypothesized that having an orgasm and releasing that tide of oxytocin is a woman's subconscious way of approving of her partner as a potential dad.
The latest news is that this cuddle hormone might also be linked to our ability to trust. In a recent study at the University of Zurich, scientists asked 178 male college students to play an investment game with a partner they'd never met. Half of the students used an oxytocin nasal spray (not yet available in the United States) beforehand; half used a placebo. Those with the spray containing oxytocin were more than twice as likely to feel comfortable giving all of their money to their anonymous (but legitimate) partner. If oxytocin can help women feel more at ease about letting go and intensify orgasmic contractions, we might all want a bottle of the stuff stashed in our bedside drawers someday soon.
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