Female Masturbation Confessions

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Female Masturbation Confessions
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Katie Muxworthy




November 16, 2018


Body




Sat in a particularly cool school friends conservatory (cool only because his mum used to let us drink alcopops and beers from the garage fridge), 14-year-old me was about to reveal something that I was about to never live down for my 3 remaining years at Park View secondary school. One of the lads had just learned the game “I have never” from his older brother, so being the reckless and rebellious teens we thought we were, we sat round swigging our green Mickey Finns bottles and challenging each other to admit the wildest things we had ever done.
Tipsy from the sickly green acidic spirit and hot from the stares and laughter, I had, very honestly, taken a large swig from the bottle admitting to my penchant for making myself feel good.
“Girls can’t wank” screamed Johnny, whilst the girls cried “ews” and “OMGs”. My eyes burned and I thought about all the holes I would have liked to crawl into after having admitted to something that was apparently so shameful??
That was the first time I was made to feel guilt around my sexuality and from there I encountered it again and again. I didn’t admit to or talk about masturbating again until many moons later. About 8 years later, to be honest.
I knew what to do to make myself feel nice. To create a warm little explosion in my knickers. To touch myself in the places that made me go tingly and shake a bit. But I did it in the dark, under the covers or furiously in the shower, then proceeded to feel guilty about it for hours afterwards. Unfortunately, my experience is not a unique one, and finally, with the encouragement of some of my favourite feminist writers, magazines, podcasts and literature, a 22-year-old Katie started to feel more and more liberated with my own body and sexuality.
The truth is masturbation is still stigmatised, as a shameful and secretive act, especially for women, when in fact it is one of the most wonderful and healthiest forms of self-care we can do. Exploring your body and playing with yourself to work out what feels good for you has a plethora of endless benefits. Getting yourself off is proven to reduce stress, help you sleep better, improve your mental health, reduce cramps and menstrual pains, boost your confidence, enhance your serotonin and basically just make you feel fucking great . Masturbation, no matter how you do it, sex toys or classic fingers and thumbs, is nothing to feel guilty about and quite honestly is a wonderful way of spending your time.
We asked a handful of women to tell us about the first time they masturbated and what that experience was like for them.
“I was mainly worried the first time because I had no idea what I was doing so it didn’t feel particularly nice, not bad but not this great thing you read about in magazines. I didn’t see what the fuss was about. But at that age, I think I was 12, girls especially don’t talk about shit like this so I didn’t know what I was doing. I thought I was doing something wrong, to be honest. When I finally got the hang of what I was doing it was still quite scary. It’s super intense and I guess it’s quite uncomfortable until after your first orgasm. When you know what it feels like, and you know that’s how it should feel, then you can start to enjoy it.”
“I had always thought masturbating was something really bad. It actually wasn’t until I got into my first real relationship that I took the shame away from it. Sex was no longer “embarrassing” because I was doing it with someone else. The idea of exploring my own body was too scary, but when I started to feel comfortable and realised that sex felt good I was intrigued to see what I could do for myself. I was 19 when I first started touching myself. I remember stopping and starting because I was worried ghosts were watching me or someone was going to walk in. I felt strangely wrong but then liberated for it. Eventually I realised it felt too good to worry about ghosts. I just got over it”
“The first time I did it I was like 18ish maybe older and I just felt dirty like what I was doing was so wrong and disgusting and people would think I was gross if they knew. Didn’t care though. Never looked back. The more I did it to myself the more I found I actually enjoyed sex. It was almost like the whole thing of how anyone can love you until you know how to love yourself, but in a totally sexual way.”
“Strangely I don’t remember the exact age I was when I began masturbating, but I guess I was around fourteen years old. I was in the bathtub and I was using the shower for its rightful purpose, but somehow ended up directing it down between my legs. I held it there for a long time, enjoying the unusual but enjoyable sensation of water on my clit. Suddenly, overwhelming waves of pleasure made me want to scream out. I unexpectedly climaxed (in silence) before resting on the side of the tub, in complete awe at what I had just done. My parent’s water bill must have been sky high the following month”
“ I was super young when I first remember doing it – much too young to know what was going on or feel any ‘shame’ for doing so. I think I must have been around 5 or 6 – I wasn’t sleeping properly after lights out in my room and pretty much just touched myself out of boredom and curiosity, feeling a tingling sensation when I did it. I’m not actually sure if I had an orgasm at that age but that never stopped me. It’s definitely become something of a habit.”
“Touching myself for the very first time was probably the most wonderfully confusing experiences of my early teens. Every Saturday morning, I used to go to a swimming club and one particular weekend we were using floats in the pool. I had one of those floating noodles, shoved up between my legs pretending I was riding a seahorse, of course. It must have been something about the water, and the way that I was aggressively humping my floating seahorse, that I started to feel the nicest sensation in my cozzie bottoms. Needless to say, I liked it so much that I continued to explore exactly how much I could rub myself until I got that same sensation, this time out of the pool.”
“I think I was 12 when I first made myself feel ~good~. It was a Friday night and my Dad had let me stay up late watching the Graham Norton show. I remember laughing when he did, but not quite understanding what was happening. Drew Barrymore was one of the guests and I was completely obsessed with her and the new Charlies Angels film. I thought she was so cool with her wild hair and husky voice. She was joking about something with the host and in her luscious gravelly voice she said “Y’know Graham, you just rub it till it feels good, honey” and the audience cackled and screeched and I didn’t know what she meant but I thought it must feel good because Drew Barrymore said it. So that night I did just that. I stuck my hands down my pyjama bottoms and I rubbed myself until it felt good. After quite a bit of rubbing and readjusting a little warm explosion happened that I’d never felt before, kind of like that I had wet myself, and I liked it. And so began my sexual exploration. The next day I google image searched “willy” on my Dads computer and then blamed my older sister when he confronted us on his search history. Fast forward 13 years and I have got touching myself to a fine art and it’s all thanks to Drew Barrymore.”
“I was 15 and my first ‘boyfriend’ asked if he could touch my boobs under my school shirt, so I let him. He kept his hands travelling and put them down my trousers. He was scratchy and fumbly and I felt absolutely zero. So that night after he had left, I gave it a go myself. I’ve always been better than my partners since tbh”
“When I was 17 my friends and I went to an Ann Summers at the local shopping centre, and whilst daring each other, bought matching bullet vibrators and chocolate flavoured lube. We all joked that we would probably never use them. It took me all of one evening to ignore that. My best friend is now my bullet vibrator and I would highly recommend introducing one into your life. Chocolate lube – not so much.”
“I grew up in a household where sex was never discussed. I never had “the chat”. When I had my first period, age 10, I had literally no idea what was happening to my body. So, unsurprisingly, masturbation happened a little later in life for me; it was always made to seem “shameful”, or something that only boys were allowed to do. The first time I touched myself was a revelation. I’m one of the lucky ones, that didn’t have to work at orgasming, it just happened. I’m pretty sure I was thinking about the boy next door – can I be any more of a teenage cliché?”
Join us to talk more things sex, masturbation and orgasms with a group of like-minded women at Unwrap Yourself, our very first FGRLS event this December. An evening promising non-cringe sex chat. Expect laughs, latex, labia and lube. Our aim is to break the stigma that women can’t talk about or enjoy sex and have fun whilst we do it.
Years before I had head the word MASTURBATION or know about sexual pleasure, or much about sex at all!, I discovered how to have orgasms. It started when I was maybe 5 or 6 and messing in our front lounge (a room only used for visitors usually). We has a grey heavy sofa with yellow satin or silk covered throw cushions on it (it was the 1970s and bad taste abounded). Anyway I must have been messing around doing something when I felt good with one of the cushions squeezed between my legs. I sort of recall the nice feelings being very brief but getting them repeatedly if I squeezed. I apparently did this often though my memory is of the first experiences (my mum told me years later it was my ‘thing’ when bored). These nice feelings got me interested and showed me where to stimulate. Again my mother told me that not long after my frequent sessions with the cushions started she saw me humping the arm of the sofa and clearly going all the way. I don’t remember that at all but do remember getting busted by my older sister while riding a pile of pillows and stuffed toys in my room whenbI could have only been 8.
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From the sexually liberating to the straight-up strange.
When you settle in for a good old-fashioned solo session, chances are it involves a trusty vibrator, a massaging shower head, or nothing but your fingers and some lube. You probably opt to fantasize about something sexy, or tune in to some choice clips from your favorite erotica to get you going. You know, standard stuff.
But all of us like to mix up our masturbation routine from time to time. Which begs the question: Have you ever masturbated somewhere not-so conventional? Say, the beach? Or maybe you've joined the mile-high club... solo? 
Well, thanks to the age of oversharing on the internet (hey there, Reddit!), plenty of women are taking their craziest masturbation stories public (quite literally).
Curious about their masturbation escapades? Here nine women from Reddit reveal the craziest placed they've O'ed on their own.
"I used to work at a sporting goods store. There was a guy that worked there and every day I worked with him I just wanted to jump on top of him in the back room and have my way with him. One day, I caught a glimpse of him changing into his work shirt in the back room and his shirtless body threw me into a frenzy. About half way through the shift, I couldn't take it any more. The picture of his tight, ripped body was burned into my head. I went into the changing room and promptly soaked the wood bench under me. Probably the hardest I have ever make myself cum in my life." — Anonymous Reddit User
"In a Forever 21 fitting room, vibrator and all. I really needed to get off, and I had just bought the new toy . Why wait until I got home?" — RedditVirgin218
(Add something extra to your sex life with the JimmyJane Form 8 vibe from the Women's Health Boutique.)
"I masturbate while driving. It's just too easy not to, really, when you're alone and without panties underneath a skirt or dress. I wonder if anyone has suspected it...perhaps after noticing that, in addition to a real happy driver, there's only one hand on the wheel." — cuntingseason
Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about masturbation:
"Next to the USS Nevada, waddup waddup. I was in 300 feet of water in the Pacific Ocean, next to a nuclear missile capable of wiping cities off the face of the earth." — tonyaa
"I was sleeping over at a friend's and we were sharing a bed. I thought he had already fallen asleep and I had been having the raging desire to get off all night—for some reason I thought just going for it was a good idea. I got under a blanket and was close to finishing when my friend turned over and told me to stop moving around so much. I completely froze and apologized. Then he asked me what I was doing. For some reason, I decided to be honest and tell him. He asked if I was being serious and it was dead silent for a minute before he said, 'Well I interrupted you, I might as well help you finish.'" — beautysupremes
"In my 8th grade history class while watching a movie. I can come by just pushing my thighs together and a little movement. No one could tell." — AirmansGirl
"School toilet. (IT WAS VERY CLEAN!) Damn you sexting ." — Jellicent

Now Reading Let’s Talk About Masturbating In Quarantine
Anthropologists of yore could hardly have predicted that masturbating and bread-baking would serve as summer 2020’s premier pastimes. But in the midst of a global pandemic, while quarantine is simply a mandated way of life, most of us are nothing if not restless and horny.
“There are a lot of reasons masturbating can feel more important than ever right now,” says certified sex and relationship therapist Megan Fleming , PhD. “So many folks are feeling weighted down with all this anxiety and uncertainty, and masturbation can be a really healthy way to calm the nervous system.” 
Orgasm — self-induced or otherwise — releases a whole flood of beneficial chemicals in the body. Dopamine levels spike, cortisol levels drop, and endorphins are released alongside oxytocin, a hormone most commonly known for providing feelings of warmth and well-being (folks sometimes call it the “ cuddle hormone ”). And, as Dr. Fleming sees it, solo sex can offer a welcome (necessary) sense of release as well as a form of escapism. “It’s a really excellent opportunity for you to spend some time exploring yourself sexually. You have time to try new things, delve into new fantasies, flirt with new turn-ons,” she says. “We call it solo play for a reason — we should really treat it like play .” 
However, while we may find ourselves with ample time , plenty of us are quarantined in...less-than-sexy scenarios. Whether you’re back in your childhood bedroom, stuck home with your kids, or sardine-packed into an apartment the size of a parking spot with four roommates, “setting the mood” isn’t always easy. So, in the spirit of adventure, catharsis, release, and, well, pleasure, we reached out to women in varying socially distant setups across the country to talk about what solo play looks like for them. From masturbation coffee breaks and art-deco nudes to butt plugs and roommate snafus, here’s a voyeuristic peek at “getting off” in quarantine. 
Laura P., 26, quarantined alone in New York City
“Working from home is driving me insane. I’m so restless. I’m dying to get out of the house. I work in film, so I’m used to spending most of my days out and about, on my feet, interacting with tons of different people. My girlfriend also works on film sets, so I’m used to seeing her every day at work and at home, but we’re quarantined separately. 
“Obviously, I know this is something everyone’s been saying in quarantine, but I’m incredibly horny. At the same time, while I’m doing all this remote work (lots of random editing projects that are sort of slow and arduous), I’ve been having trouble staying focused. So I’ve found that masturbating can work as a quick, energizing coffee break for me. It helps get my brain back up to speed when I’ve been staring at a screen for too long. So when I hit a rut, I throw a hold on my calendar so no one will try to schedule a call, then I pull up some of my favorite OnlyFans accounts, and I touch myself. I’ve been using this amazing rounded tool I ordered online against my clit, and I have to say, it feels about as close to oral as anything I’ve ever tried other than...oral.
“Then, once I come, I wash my hands and get back to work, reinvigorated. I swear, it works.”
Ricky M., 31, quarantined with her partner in Chicago
“So I live with my long-term monogamous partner. We've always had a great sex life, and when we found out that we'd be on lockdown, our first response was: We're going to have so much sex! In reality, the opposite has been true. Our once concurrent schedules are now the opposite. He wakes up early and works from home; I sleep in, hang out, then study/attend class at night. He's horny in the mornings; I'm horny at night.
“After the first shelter-in-place weekend passed, we still hadn't had sex. A few days later, I tried to put the moves on, but he said he was too tired. 'Too tired for sex' wasn't a thing in our relationship before quarantine. I fell asleep frustrated and hurt, and I woke up hornier than ever. So I masturbated. While I mostly felt the release, I also felt kind of bad, like I'd taken something from my partner.
“During week three, we finally talked about the elephant in the room, aka the lack of sex. He apologized for his non-existent sex drive, attributing it to the (warranted) stress and anxiety of the present moment. I told him I understood and that I'd been masturbating. Much to my surprise, he was glad: happy that I hadn't lost my sex drive and that I wasn't depriving myself just because he couldn't meet my needs. Instantly, I felt better. It was okay to have my own pleasure routines, separate from my partner.
“So that's what I've been doing for the past ???# of weeks. Sleeping in, then masturbating in the bedroom while my partner works in the next room. It's one of the few ways I can feel 'in control' these days, and it has allowed me to be a better support system to my partner, because I'm taking care of my own needs.”
Mira H., 29, quarantined with her sister in Boston 
“Right before the whole pandemic, I had my first threesome w
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