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Anne O Nomis September 5, 2017 Mistress training, getting there, Florence, Mistress training USA, Mistress training courses, Mistress training Netherlands, Mistress training London

As the author on the book of the Dominatrix, I often get asked about where people can train in the skills of Mistress or Dominatrix. There are three main methods of training as a Mistress, and here I share my personal thoughts on each. 
Some dungeons take trainees, who undertake an internship over typically 1 to 2 years. This may mean taking 3 shifts of 6 hours a week, and being around a group of dominant Mistresses who work at that establishment. Trainees clean and sterilise equipment, run chores for Mistresses to try and win favour or just to do as they are asked of, and there's also a lot of sitting around at times with nothing happening. However on occasion the trainee receives actual teaching in activities of BDSM, and gets invited into session to observe, and eventually to assist. 
Pros: If you stick it out, you'll end up generally well-trained in different areas of BDSM and have seen a range of different clients and their psychologies. If you manage to befriend some of the senior Mistresses, and be in a place to ask them questions when it's quiet, then you can learn a lot if those women are willing to share their knowledge with you. Some trainee Mistresses who have gone through this system have come out with excellent skills in the craft arts of a Dominatrix, have worked at the establishment, or have gone on to eventually become an independent Mistress. 
Cons: The dungeon benefits by you earning them money, so logically that motivates their willingness to take trainees. However that doesn't mean that the senior Mistresses necessarily are eager to train an intern. Dungeons are somewhat notorious for being environments that can be bullying and have a lot of hen-picking, due to the nature of having a group of dominant women together in one place with all the egos and energy involved in that. A Senior Mistress may view a young apprentice as competition to her, and if she has insecurities, it is possible she may manifest this as treating the intern badly and create a toxic environment in the hope that the trainee may drop out. In many cases this is successful, with dungeons having a very high drop-out rate of trainees. Some commercial dungeons have something of a push to activities that make them money, which has in some instances seen trainees feeling pushed to offer services that are more sexual in nature than they may feel comfortable with. As dungeons are transactional commercial businesses, focused on providing a service, with many short sessions, it can mean that the flavour of domination is service-orientated and fulfilling the exact request of clients, rather than enabling and supporting true power exchange and the soul of domination.
2) BEING TRAINED / MENTORED BY A SINGLE EXPERIENCED SENIOR MISTRESS
Some women are lucky enough to secure training and mentorship by a single experienced senior Mistress. This is a rare method, as it's hard to find someone prepared to give up time for free to train someone - who will then go on to be potentially competition to that person. Some of the situations in which this can happen are that the person is good close friends with the Mistress, and the Mistress sees real devotion and commitment from the individual wanting to learn. Furthermore there may be some tangible benefit to the Mistress, such as undertaking Double-Domme sessions and profiting in some way from the arrangement or drawing extra sessions with an apprentice as an attraction to clients to want to book.
Pros: The trainee gets to avoid the sometimes catty / bitchiness of a dungeon full of dominant women. They get trained up one-to-one by an experienced Mistress in which they may get more intensive training in some instances than they might in a dungeon, depending on the arrangement. They also get to see how an independent Dominatrix runs her business, markets herself, and operates independently, which sets her up well for being an Independent Mistress.
Cons: As you are only seeing one Mistress in action through this method of traineeship, one's knowledge would be limited to that of the Mistress. So for example, if she was strong in some areas, but not in others, you would end up similarly skilled only in the areas that Mistress knew and taught you. That in turn may also flavour the type of client who attended the Mistress. So for example if she was into corporal punishment, that would slant her client base to corporal punishment enthusiasts. So essentially one may not learn the full spectrum of activities, skills and arts of the Dominatrix, or see the full spectrum of client psychologies. If the Mistress is teaching altruistically, it can put strain on her to teach without getting much or anything back in return. If the Mistress is benefitting from sessions and free labour of the trainee, that can lead the trainee to possibly at some point feel exploited or used, or pressured into doing something they don't want to do - in order to meet the desires of the Mistress who is so generously training them.
A number of Senior Mistresses offer training courses for aspiring Mistresses. They may be driven to do so from a desire to share knowledge, or as a way of utilizing and making additional money from their skills which they have taken so long to build up. The courses on offer range from holistic courses on female dominance, to workshops on very specific individual activities, and intensives which aim to teach the foundational skills over a short period of time such as a weekend, through to those which go for a full week.
Pros: For women who are busy with existing commitments but want to learn, it allows them to gain foundation skills in a burst of intensive learning for a fixed fee. This can be supplemented by practice with a suitable willing submissive on their own time to reinforce wha they have learnt. It allows choice and self-determination over what kinds of skills, activities and knowledge the individual wants to learn, and who they want to teach them. There is no obligation on the trainee to undertake activities they don't want to do, and not the same level of strain on either party as the exchange is one of teacher who wants to teach - and student who is seeking knowledge and paying to be taught. At their best, some of the courses are really good, and a woman can have a great time on the course and learn really efficiently with course content focused on maximising learning in a short timeframe.
Cons: The courses offered may be of variable quality. Some are taught by someone in the lifestyle scene whose knowledge and skills may not be at the level of a senior Mistress who really understands the psychologies of different clients and a wide range of skills and arts of the craft profession. Also, even if it is a good Senior Mistress teaching, who has excellent skills and knowledge, she also needs to be a good teacher to get the skills and complex information across to the student. For being a good teacher is a skill in of itself. The other potential con is that some of the courses are very short, only a few hours. Even weekend intensives are still best regarded as introductory or foundation skill courses. In order to really master (or more accurately 'Mistress') the skills and psychology, a trainee / student would be wise to take a number of classes, including more advanced classes to build their knowledge. If they are able to additionally organize themselves to actually practice the skills on a willing participant in their own time, this will help reinforce their knowledge and help prevent them from forgetting what they've learnt. The other con is the financial cost and the option should be compared to other kinds of industry learning, or tertiary level education - where there is a substantial investment in getting a good education, with financial payback once they have acquired that knowledge. 
As I am the author of the major book on the Dominatrix and her arts ('The History & Arts of the Dominatrix') - I am often emailed from all over the world, asking me to teach and do Mistress training. 
I decided the best way I could effectively do this was to create the online Dominatrix Seven Realm Arts™ certificate course, which is a foundational course in the Dominatrix’s history, psychology of Domination, and practices as the ‘Seven Realm Arts’ framework. (Which I established in my book ‘The History & Arts of the Dominatrix’ and which is utilized around the world for teaching apprentices.)
For those taking it further, I run a week-long retreat Dominatrix course - which covers the history, psychology, arts, and specific technical skills needed and use of implements and equipment. Running for 7 days and 7 nights, in June each year, I get to maximise my teaching of women seeking to learn - who are attending Villa Domme from all over the world.
It's suitable both for aspiring pro-Dommes, and for women who want to learn in a lifestyle capacity - such as to dominate their partner boyfriend or husband. In offering this course, I aim to really honour the craft knowledge which has been passed on from Senior Mistress to apprentice as a batten of erotic wisdom.
I've also been asked if professional Dominatrices can attend - because they loved my book on 'The History & Arts of the Dominatrix' and want to extend their understanding. Yes - that's absolutely fine with me. (My only caveat is that inevitably some of the material I will teach will be things they already know, and some will deepen and extend their existing knowledge and understanding, and some may be brand new to them.) Update 2020: In fact every year of Villa Domme we’ve had several well-regarded pro Dommes attending.
I have also put together a blog post with a list of Mistress Training courses around the world , as promised!




by Peter Dirk |

posted in: Femdom , General , Guides |

0

Get A Convincing Open Letter To Send To A Prospective Dominant The easy way to get your partner to think about trying a Female Dominated Relationship
I am reaching out for some help. I have written a piece that I’d like reviewed by women in order to get their feedback. If you feel you’d like to help, could you email me at femalereverence@gmail.com where I can send you the piece and listen to your thoughts. Many thanks, Peter.
Get A Convincing Open Letter To Send To A Prospective Dominant The easy way to get your partner to think about trying a Female Dominated Relationship
Being a mistress or domme doesn’t often come with boundaries. Your sub doesn’t reach the threshold of the bathroom and declare himself in a ‘ female led relationship exclusion zone’ if he wants to get away.
The domme and sub dynamic of a female led relationship is almost impossible to contain within the confines of walls, and white picket fencing.
There will be times when you are out in public, among citizens and strangers, or amongst friends and family. 
For many, they want their agreement of female dominance to encompass their time out, but it comes with an inevitable problem.
Many in the vanilla world may not understand, and amongst friends and family, it can be loathsome to the point of rebellion to get a sub to openly be flaunted as submissive .
Some things in life are thought natural and can be hidden amongst acceptable behavior. A gentle femdom wife at a party, asking her husband to kiss her with a raised eyebrow, just looks to onlookers like a loving gesture. When the husband kisses her it looks like an affectionate act. Only the couple might know that he hates public displays of affection, and that raised eyebrow was a ‘do it or punishment will ensue’ look.
Or maybe among good friends at dinner, that same gentle femdom wife, puts a bit of food on her fork and politely asks her husband what he thinks of it. Only they know that he will do it, and will not refuse. Again a polite request, which is no request at all.
They are intuitive signals that look normal and your female led relationship can be kept private.
But the world is complex, and situations can be fluid and volatile. Simple intuition will sometimes not be enough to control a sub in public.
The answer is to have secret signals. Little prearranged comments or bodily actions that convey meaning. Subtle, easily disguised mannerisms that give an instruction for your sub to follow.
Nothing too complicated here. It’s an instruction issued by the dominant female, whilst in public in order to convey a prearranged order.
They can come in many forms, either verbal , prearranged acceptance, or body language .
One isn’t necessarily better than the other but the implications are all the same, the mistress wishes some action to be taken by the sub and is conveying that through non-direct verbal means.
A female led relationship is a very private matter. It is also almost entirely misunderstood by those who do not participate in one.
There are many places where the public knowledge of such an arrangement might be detrimental, either professionally speaking or from within one’s own personal life.
The subservient may be taunted, and the mistress may be thought of as cool if the arrangement were to be made obviously public.
A male subservient to his wife’s authority in private may hold authority professionally that would be diminished.
So secret signals between the dominant mistress and the submissive male are necessary in order for the female led relationship to continue outside of private arrangements. Being in the company of friends does not absolve him from his submissive duties.
Which brings us on to another question, how exactly do you convey all this stuff, and what exactly may you want as an instruction.
Often something simple like a raised eyebrow can be a secret signal. It’s not necessary to complicate it.
What it means is “do what I am asking”.
Now, there needs to be an understanding of the sub, from mistress here. She cannot go up to her husband at his works party and demand he crawl around after her. She will get a hard limit refusal.
But often, a mistress can inflect the eyebrow to convey intent. Out shopping, she can ask politely if he hold her bag for a second while holding his gaze. It’s not a request, and they both know it. Maybe it’s just practical, while she picks up clothing items, but it can also be because he doesn’t like it and she is teasing him.
Even amongst friends, a look and a “could you get me another drink” is taken as the instruction it is. Punishments ensue for not doing what is requested.
Again, subtle and authoritative intuitively.
However, more often than not a signal needs to be sent where the meaning might not be clear or is immediately obvious. Ambiguity might be an issue for certain instructions.
So for that, you need a secret signal. A verbal or other code that relays mistress’ true intent.
So what secret signals might a mistress need, and why she might want them needs to be identified.
Below is a list of the instructions you may want to consider incorporating into your own female led relationship.
Stop Talking – At the issuance of this command the sub is to desist from talking, or providing input. 
When the mistress senses that the sub is confusing matters, or just needs him to be quiet this order can be issued.
Or indeed mistress may not want a certain subject brought up, and issues this immediately to stop unwanted information becoming public knowledge.
In a certain setting like purchasing goods, mistress might be listening and the sub may be distracting what mattress wants to know, so issues the order so she can ask what questions she wants, uninterrupted.
At other times the mistress can do it so she can speak, or correct information in company.
Mistress has blanket authority to issue this command.
Personally, as a prearranged command, any mention of the throat, or the touching of the throat means to desist from verbal communication.
Start talking – Obviously, the order countermanding the above. Mistress is now letting you speak.
One thing to note here is that the sub should take into account what was happening at the time of the order to stop talking. If it was simply chatting to a stranger, then it may have been just because she wanted to make a point, but if it was in company, the sub should ask himself what was I talking about. Was I about to reveal something mistress didn’t want to be discussed. Safe to change the topic when you are permitted back to speak again.
Personally, this can be released by mentioning throat lozenges, an eyebrow inflection, or mistress asking a question that requires a verbal response.
If mistress says “So, what do you think dear?” she is relinquishing the sub from the order.
Permission to speak – Slightly different, in that it specifies permission to speak, but the sub is to avoid controversial topics.
This is highly useful for a mistress attending parties where they might not know many people, and her sub has some views that may offend others.
Religion and politics are to be avoided normally.
Don’t agree to that – During the course of chatting, especially to friends and acquaintances it’s not unnormal to arrange or at least schedule an activity.
People talk, and people interact. Simple as that. 
Occasionally an idea about an activity will get floated, like being asked to go fishing next weekend, or would you both like to come round next Friday evening for a meal.
In the normal course of events you may pleasantly say yes, or look at each other, and say yes.
Well, for this mistress has a code. Maybe there is a word she doesn’t use very often, like awesome.
So if you are asked if you want a meal next Friday and your mistress says “that sounds awesome”, only you and she knows the true meaning.
Normally it means to think of an excuse and say we can’t make it. This allows your mistress to retain the high ground.
Change Topic – If you are talking and see this command, or indeed hear it, you are to change the topic rapidly, and not answer questions that follow up.
This is a way for a mistress to obviously stop unwanted information coming out, or to deflect from something she wishes to avoid.
Sometimes the submissive is starting a story mistress wishes not to be discussed. The submissive will obey the order, but others in your company might try and pry what you were going to say. The submissive needs to deflect unwanted follow-ups.
Butler request – This is issued when she requires a quick, and simple attentive need, and often the eyebrow flick can do this, but a
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