Feeling Horny
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Feeling Horny
Plus, the reasons you might be — because sometimes, horniness hits from left field!
What does it feel like to be horny?
1. You can’t stop fantasizing about the person you’re into.
3. If you have a vagina, it’s tingling.
4. Your vagina is wetter than usual.
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7. Your heart rate is up, and you’re breathing faster.
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Imagine feeling tingles in places you've never felt them and wanting to kiss every hottie you see. What’s going on? Sounds like you're horny — so what does horny mean, anyway?
The “horny” definition is, really, a simple one. Merriam-Webster defines it as "excited sexually" or "desiring sexual gratification." And that sounds about right!
Feeling horny and dealing with newly minted sexual desires can be simultaneously overwhelming, confusing, and exciting. In addition to craving makeouts and experiencing tingles, you’re more aware of your body (and other people’s bodies…) than usual, fantasies are running wild through your head, and you might even be feeling more stress. And that can all be true regardless of whether you’re sexually active or not!
It's all part of the horniness that comes along with puberty—who knew? It’s not like they teach you to recognize your naturally occurring, budding sexuality in sex education class. There’s no teacher who sits the class down and says, “Okay, guys. This is how you recognize that what you're feeling is sexual desire.” Nope. That doesn’t happen, unfortunately — which is likely why mystery around horny’s meaning persists. (Case in point? The fact thousands of people google “do girls get horny” each month — as if horniness was reserved only for teen boys and not the full spectrum of gender identities!)
Basically, we make the jump from blissfully unaware elementary school students to confused (and slightly carnal) adolescents with no one there to explain what’s going on. Meanwhile, you’re a bubbling cauldron of new feelings and emotions. If you’ve spent the majority of your life NOT being horny, what happens when you’re suddenly really horny, often? How do you even know that’s what you’re feeling?
You’re not alone! We’ve all been there (and might even be stuck there forever, tbh). Fortunately, there are some physical and emotional signs to help you decode and demystify your horniness for what it is. Below, we share the tell-tale “I’m horny” signs that’ll help you deduce whether you’re a little (or a lot) lustful. And because horniness is a state that ebbs and flows sometimes inexplicably, we’ll walk through some common reasons for feeling horny in the first place, too — so that the next time you’re seemingly hot and bothered out of nowhere, you’ll have some guesses as to why. Welcome to the technicalities of being turned on!
In this article, you’ll find answers to:
Now that you’re clear on what horniness means, how does being horny actually feel ? For most people, being excited In That Way is usually accompanied by some combination of the following. Here are 7 horniness signs to spot.
Or really, you can't stop fantasizing about anyone, from the hot movie star you dig to that barista from Starbucks with the luscious hair; it’s all linked back to your newfound horniness.
Why is this happening to you? Studies found , through brain scans, that the medial orbitofrontal cortex is essential in sexual fantasy. This part of the brain is responsible both for processing images of sexual desire and for your feelings about those desires.
That’s because this part of the brain is pivotal in how your brain processes emotion in general — which is a key element of fantasy. Another reason you’re fantasizing is because your brain is developing. Yes, you’re having sexy thoughts because you’re getting smarter. When you reach adolescence, your brain begins to fully develop abstract ideas ... and sometimes, those ideas are HOT. It’s all a part of your imagination.
If you're having trouble sleeping, I have a suggestion. Say your mind is swimming with thoughts of the person you have a crush on. They don’t call it sexual frustration for nothing. To get over this restlessness and actually get some sleep, you can release the frustration. Yes, I’m talking about masturbation .
After an orgasm, your body releases prolactin , a hormone that makes you sleepy . Sweet dreams!
What does horny mean on a physical level? Tingles, for one. I feel like the word tingly is pretty overused by grandmothers to describe female sexual desire in people with vaginas, but it’s not off-base. You really do tingle when you're horny. I repeat, there is a real tingle in your pants.
If you’re feeling things down below that you never have before, that could definitely be a sign that you’re turned on. When you’re sexually aroused, blood flows to your genitals , perking them up in dilation.
Yes, your genitals literally swell with excitement when you’re thirsty for that hottie in your social studies class. Weird, right? Biology, actually.
One of the simpler answers to “what does it feel like to be horny”? Wet, honestly. Just because your vagina is a lot wetter than usual doesn’t always mean you’re horny, but it certainly could be the culprit.
Given that the vagina is a mucous membrane , a healthy one will usually be moist to some extent, regardless of whether you’re horny. When you’re aroused, though, extra blood flows to the vaginal walls, facilitating lubrication. So, if you’re having trouble staying dry and are getting tired of changing your undies several times a day, your sexual thirst might be why.
This sounds weird, but scientists have suggested that sneezing might be a sign of sexual arousal. An article published in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine said sneezing is an "underreported" side effect of sexual ideation and orgasm. Basically, it said that people sneeze when they're sexually aroused, or right after they've had an orgasm, more often than we realize. It's not totally clear why this happens, but the article noted that it could be because sneezing is a "forceful emission," which kind of sounds similar to something else that happens as a result of sexual arousal… we’re just saying!
And it’s not because you’re cold ! Scientists only semi-recently figured out the link between sexual arousal and hard nipples. A 2016 study found that two different neurons, when activated by the hormone and neurotransmitter noradrenaline , cause the erector muscles connected to our skin to contract, which leads to goosebumps and hardened nipples.
That’s basically all a fancy way of saying nipple erections are one of the body’s hardwired responses to being turned on — and that’s true across the gender spectrum!
If being horny leaves you feeling a little flustered, that makes sense! Both the body’s blood pressure and heart rate go up in response to even the thought of sexual activity, with the pulse rate of an aroused person rising from about 70 beats per minute to 150. That’s, on average, about the same pulse rate as an athlete who’s in the middle of competing! Your body, when horny, is existing in a mild-ish state of heart-racing tension, and it’s totally normal for that to make you feel a little agitated. (A good vibrator can be helpful for relieving that tension, just FYI!)
You’re in the middle of doing homework or running errands when, suddenly, it hits you. “I’m horny — why?!”
Sometimes, horniness comes from left field. It happens to all of us! While it’s definitely easier to pinpoint your “why” when you’re, say, watching a love scene in a movie or texting your crush, other times, there seems to be no logic behind horniness’ sudden takeover. In situations like this, it’s possible that one of the following factors could be what’s making you horny.
Across genders, testosterone is often linked to libido; when your testosterone is high, your levels of horniness are likely to be higher , too. There are several reasons your testosterone could be higher than usual, but in people with vaginas, spikes in testosterone are often tied to ovulating, which happens about 14 days before your period. The extra estrogen released during ovulation has been shown to amp up sexual desire, too, and some people experience hormone-related horniness when they’re on their periods as well .
We’ve probably all heard the hype about aphrodisiacs, or foods and beverages that increase libido. Scientists are still trying to figure out how much of a role aphrodisiacs really play in relation to horniness, and if you think that eating oysters to amp up sexual desire sounds a little Goop-y, we don’t blame you. There’s been research on the effects of some supposed aphrodisiacs, like chocolate, but in general, the findings are inconclusive. Still, if you’re eating chocolate and also feeling horny, aphrodisiacs could be one theory as to why. (Or maybe you’re, y’know, just on your period!)
This one may sound a little silly. But because the clitoris, vagina and urethra are all in close proximity to each other, for people with vaginas, it’s possible that the pressure of a full bladder on your genitals could be what’s making you feel aroused.
If feeling anxious and feeling horny sometimes overlap for you, you’re not alone! While stress is known to decrease libido in some individuals, in others, it can actually put you more in the mood . Sex and masturbation both release feel-good endorphins and oxytocin, which can boost your mood and help you relieve stress; even just thinking about sex can trigger the release of dopamine . So, if you sometimes use masturbation as a stress reliever — or if you’re prone to “procrasturbate” — it may feel natural for your mind to turn in the direction of sexy thoughts when stressed. (Seriously, this happens for a lot of people !)
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Ever heard of the popular saying that goes “When it comes to sex, men are like light switches while women are like car engines?” It implies that men are always reliably ready for sex at any time of the day while women need to get warmed up first to get things going. But, most men struggle to know how to tell if a girl is feeling horny. Why? Because they’re totally oblivious to the signs a girl is horny in the first place!
Contrary to the popular depiction of a sexually-aroused female, which entails ripped clothes and a ridiculous amount of dirty talk, the telltale signs of a horny girl are sometimes subtle. They’re often not readily recognizable to the rest of the observing world.
It’s not like she has a neon sign saying “I’m horny.” It’s something she feels and she’ll let you know if she wants you to be aware of it.
But, you can learn the signs and get a head’s up. [Read: Times when women are at their horniest, and what you can do about it]
Of course, we’re all aware of the physical signs of female horniness. We’re talking about getting wet down under and perky nipples even if she’s not cold.
But in a casual setting, you can’t just approach her, feel her undies and peek through her blouse to check! Doing that will earn you a slap across the face at best and trouble with the law at worst.
Instead, learn to detect her subtleties. There are signs she’s letting you know that she wants you to explore the bedsheets with her. Let’s check out a few ways you can learn that a girl is horny when she’s around you.
But, do remember that you need to tick off a few points all at once to be sure. It’s very easy to mistake just one sign for horniness when it’s something else entirely! [Read: 10 ways to build the sexual tension slowly with a girl]
Otherwise known as “eye sex” or “eye f*cking,” this type of flirting is her long-range strategy. It lets you know that she’s horny, or at least she’s willing to let you make a move on her.
You will notice that she will keep stealing seductive glances at you, wanting you to look back. And when you do, she’ll let herself get caught, blush, and she’ll then flash her “come hither” smile topped with the occasional lip bite.
When this happens, don’t be an idiot. Get up, approach, and talk to her. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction when a girl likes you]
Okay, in this case, we assume that you’ve established at least a neutral type of relationship with her. You do the usual things that friends or acquaintances do, like hanging out and a little casual talk every now and then.
And then, for some reason, you notice that she’s flirtier and more teasing than her usual personality would otherwise show.
Your suspicions would be further confirmed if she singles you out from the rest of the males around her. Flirting is an obvious sign that she’s aroused and that she wants your undivided attention.
If that’s the case, you should reciprocate her flirting and go get into her game because you know, flirting could only escalate into something better. [Read: How girls flirt – 22 signs she’s flirting way more than just being nice]
Another sign that a girl is horny is when her hands travel to places where they usually don’t. This doesn’t mean that she’ll grab your crotch immediately though.
Her touching could be subtle yet a ritualized invitation for you to do the same to her, and she’s telling you that she won’t mind.
She’ll stroke your arm while listening to you intently. Perhaps she’ll stroke the side of your face. It could be that she brushes an invisible piece of dust off your shirt. Basically, any type of touching that she doesn’t normally do is touchy flirting. Along with other hints, it’s one of the signs for how to tell if a girl is feeling horny.
She might also deliberately get her face or body close to you, hugging, wrapping her arms around your waist or arm, the usual foot rubbing against your legs, or at times, whispering way too close to your ear for comfort. [Read: 6 ways to accidentally kiss a friend and get away with it!]
If she’s asking way too personal questions or leaving suggestive remarks in the middle of your conversation, it could be a sign that she’s into you sexually. Verbal teasing is a dead giveaway that she’s horny.
Usually, women are notorious for using subtle and indirect signals, meaning that her needs are so urgent that she’s being direct.
She might do this by making sexual double entendres in the middle of an otherwise normal conversation. Perhaps she’ll mention her preferred sexual positions and past sexual encounters, or ask you about your own past sexual experiences.
These are intimate topics that girls wouldn’t normally open up about. The best way to respond is by keeping up with her naughty talk by staying one step behind, using only the right amount of sexual content to make her hornier. [Read: 20 dirty questions to casually ask a girl and leave her wet]
In a normal situation, this behavior could be passed off as mere flirting, but if she’s sexualizing everything you do, then it’s another story.
In every man’s subconscious, being sexually complimented is a secret fantasy. Most guys want to be chased and hit on by lots of women. If she’s telling you that you look hot, while exhibiting the other signs here, that’s a pretty good sign she’s feeling horny.
She could do this by mentioning how well developed your arms, chest, or shoulders are, or by complimenting how your new pants fit those buttocks perfectly.
She might ask if you work out often so she can mention how she would want to sud you up and wash her thongs on your well-cut abs. See? It’s not just “oh you look nice today,” it’s a sexualized compliment that leaves nothing to the imagination! [Read: Decoding compliments – 50 cute words and their true meanings]
Female arousal comes with various biological mechanisms. These include increased heart rate and heavier breathing, creating a certain degree of discomfort, and hence, the reason why she says that she feels “hot.”
So let’s say that you’re on a date and she constantly shifts about in her seat while keeping her gaze at you. She’s playing with her hair, or keeps going to the ladies’ room to freshen up. It could only mean that she’s into you and wants to get the best of your attention.
It’s also that she’s feeling hot under the collar and can’t sit still because of it. It’s definitely one of the ways for how to tell if a girl is feeling horny. [Read: How to get a girl horny and wet just by casually sitting next to her]
You’ve seen this before – the untying the hair clip, stooping down when talking to you to let you see her cleavage, wearing that V-neck with a push-up bra, yoga pants, or fixing herself up for you even in a casual meet-up. It could only mean that she’s locked into you.
If she wants to get you, she’ll present herself in her most attractive form in your presence. This means that every detail is carefully considered, from her dress down to her perfume.
So appreciate her effort and make a move. [Read: How to seduce a woman and make her want to get into bed with you]
This could be described as the dead giveaway prior to the point of no return. Girls, even the most flirty ones, are very sensitive to unwelcome touching.
So if she lets you touch her, then there is no need for further explanation because you know what comes next.
Be careful though, and start carefully. Don’t just slide your hand inside her blouse unless you want a deserved slap. Make it more romantic and ritualized in order to build sexual tension for the both of you.
Start with your hands around her waist, up to her arms, and caress her neck. Take note of the parts that she likes touched as she guides you further. If she seems uncomfortable, back away. Watch her reactions and act accordingly. [Read: How to turn a girl on with her touch and make her melt into you]
She probably doesn’t walk with her hips swaying all the time. If she’s amplifying that hip sway and turning around to check that you’ve noticed, it can only mean one thing. The same can be said for dancing.
Most women wiggle a little when they’re dancing. But, if she pulls you close and grinds against you, it’s pretty likely that she’s feeling less calm and a little horny.
This one might sound odd. No, she’s not suddenly going to turn into Darth Vader when she talks, but you will notice a change. It’s likely that her voice will be lower, breathier, and she’ll just sound different.
Her breathing will be more shallow than it usually is, which is why her voice has that sexy, breathy edge to it. It’s something you’ll need to pay real attention to if you want to notice it, but it’s one of the big signs a girl is horny. [Read: How to touch a girl’s breasts and feel her up for the first
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