Feel Horny
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Feel Horny
By Samantha Olson Published: Feb 14, 2022
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We've all heard that saying about feeling butterflies in your stomach, which usually refers to the nerves and excitement that come with having a crush . But what happens when you suddenly feel butterflies in... well, other parts of your body? You probably caught a glimpse of your crush or were catching up on your fave romance novel when intense feelings and tingles began to run through your body. If this is the case, you may be feeling horny, which is a common occurrence once you hit puberty.
This may be a whole new concept for you, and these sexual desires can be exciting and intimidating at first. When the mental and physical cravings for makeout sessions (among other things) start to happen, you may not know where to go from there. Just know that you're not alone — this is a totally normal feeling that most people experience when they hit puberty. Your close friends are probably going through it, too. Ahead, we've broken down what it means to be horny and how to tell if you're feeling it.
Planned Parenthood defines the slang term as "wanting to have sex or being sexually aroused or excited." There are tons of different things that play into feeling horny, whether it's fantasizing about your celeb crush or having your period. It's not just steamy scenes on your favorite shows — your hormones play a role in your horniness, too. A 2013 study in Hormones and Behavior found that changing levels of estrogen and progesterone affect sex drive.
Of course, there are other ways to tell if you're actually feeling horny and we've outlined them below.
If you've found yourself daydreaming of situations where you're making out with a fictional character from that one Netflix show you can't stop binge-watching or even taking things to the next level with a friend, odds are you're feeling horny. When you're going through puberty, your brain is still developing — including the orbitofrontal complex , which processes the images and feelings that come with your newfound sexual desire.
Yep, it's true. If you're having trouble sleeping, it may be an underlying sign that you're horny. Now, that's something they don't typically mention in sex ed. According to WebMD , releasing the sexual tension — be it through masturbation or sex with your partner — actually helps release prolactin, a hormone that makes you feel sleepy.
"[Masturbation has] been linked to helping people fall asleep, so if you're suffering from insomnia, you might want to try it out," Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, the Medical Advisor for The Body Agency , told Seventeen. She also noted that solo sex is worth a shot to relieve yourself of stress and sexual tension.
When you're sexually aroused, it's natural for your body to respond. People with vaginas may feel a tingly sensation and it may feel wetter than usual. According to the National Health Service of England , blood flows to the vaginal walls and perks them up in dilation when you're horny, which is why you may feel these sensations. On the other hand, those with a penis typically feel it harden when they are sexually aroused.
Sam is the editorial assistant at Seventeen, covering pop culture, celebrity news, health, and beauty. When she isn't draping her cheeks in blush, you can probably find her live-tweeting awards shows or making SwiftToks.
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Plus, the reasons you might be — because sometimes, horniness hits from left field!
What does it feel like to be horny?
1. You can’t stop fantasizing about the person you’re into.
3. If you have a vagina, it’s tingling.
4. Your vagina is wetter than usual.
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Imagine feeling tingles in places you've never felt them and wanting to kiss every hottie you see. What’s going on? Sounds like you're horny — so what does horny mean, anyway?
The “horny” definition is, really, a simple one. Merriam-Webster defines it as "excited sexually" or "desiring sexual gratification." And that sounds about right!
Feeling horny and dealing with newly minted sexual desires can be simultaneously overwhelming, confusing, and exciting. In addition to craving makeouts and experiencing tingles, you’re more aware of your body (and other people’s bodies…) than usual, fantasies are running wild through your head, and you might even be feeling more stress. And that can all be true regardless of whether you’re sexually active or not!
It's all part of the horniness that comes along with puberty—who knew? It’s not like they teach you to recognize your naturally occurring, budding sexuality in sex education class. There’s no teacher who sits the class down and says, “Okay, guys. This is how you recognize that what you're feeling is sexual desire.” Nope. That doesn’t happen, unfortunately — which is likely why mystery around horny’s meaning persists. (Case in point? The fact thousands of people google “do girls get horny” each month — as if horniness was reserved only for teen boys and not the full spectrum of gender identities!)
Basically, we make the jump from blissfully unaware elementary school students to confused (and slightly carnal) adolescents with no one there to explain what’s going on. Meanwhile, you’re a bubbling cauldron of new feelings and emotions. If you’ve spent the majority of your life NOT being horny, what happens when you’re suddenly really horny, often? How do you even know that’s what you’re feeling?
You’re not alone! We’ve all been there (and might even be stuck there forever, tbh). Fortunately, there are some physical and emotional signs to help you decode and demystify your horniness for what it is. Below, we share the tell-tale “I’m horny” signs that’ll help you deduce whether you’re a little (or a lot) lustful. And because horniness is a state that ebbs and flows sometimes inexplicably, we’ll walk through some common reasons for feeling horny in the first place, too — so that the next time you’re seemingly hot and bothered out of nowhere, you’ll have some guesses as to why. Welcome to the technicalities of being turned on!
In this article, you’ll find answers to:
Now that you’re clear on what horniness means, how does being horny actually feel ? For most people, being excited In That Way is usually accompanied by some combination of the following. Here are 7 horniness signs to spot.
Or really, you can't stop fantasizing about anyone, from the hot movie star you dig to that barista from Starbucks with the luscious hair; it’s all linked back to your newfound horniness.
Why is this happening to you? Studies found , through brain scans, that the medial orbitofrontal cortex is essential in sexual fantasy. This part of the brain is responsible both for processing images of sexual desire and for your feelings about those desires.
That’s because this part of the brain is pivotal in how your brain processes emotion in general — which is a key element of fantasy. Another reason you’re fantasizing is because your brain is developing. Yes, you’re having sexy thoughts because you’re getting smarter. When you reach adolescence, your brain begins to fully develop abstract ideas ... and sometimes, those ideas are HOT. It’s all a part of your imagination.
If you're having trouble sleeping, I have a suggestion. Say your mind is swimming with thoughts of the person you have a crush on. They don’t call it sexual frustration for nothing. To get over this restlessness and actually get some sleep, you can release the frustration. Yes, I’m talking about masturbation .
After an orgasm, your body releases prolactin , a hormone that makes you sleepy . Sweet dreams!
What does horny mean on a physical level? Tingles, for one. I feel like the word tingly is pretty overused by grandmothers to describe female sexual desire in people with vaginas, but it’s not off-base. You really do tingle when you're horny. I repeat, there is a real tingle in your pants.
If you’re feeling things down below that you never have before, that could definitely be a sign that you’re turned on. When you’re sexually aroused, blood flows to your genitals , perking them up in dilation.
Yes, your genitals literally swell with excitement when you’re thirsty for that hottie in your social studies class. Weird, right? Biology, actually.
One of the simpler answers to “what does it feel like to be horny”? Wet, honestly. Just because your vagina is a lot wetter than usual doesn’t always mean you’re horny, but it certainly could be the culprit.
Given that the vagina is a mucous membrane , a healthy one will usually be moist to some extent, regardless of whether you’re horny. When you’re aroused, though, extra blood flows to the vaginal walls, facilitating lubrication. So, if you’re having trouble staying dry and are getting tired of changing your undies several times a day, your sexual thirst might be why.
This sounds weird, but scientists have suggested that sneezing might be a sign of sexual arousal. An article published in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine said sneezing is an "underreported" side effect of sexual ideation and orgasm. Basically, it said that people sneeze when they're sexually aroused, or right after they've had an orgasm, more often than we realize. It's not totally clear why this happens, but the article noted that it could be because sneezing is a "forceful emission," which kind of sounds similar to something else that happens as a result of sexual arousal… we’re just saying!
And it’s not because you’re cold ! Scientists only semi-recently figured out the link between sexual arousal and hard nipples. A 2016 study found that two different neurons, when activated by the hormone and neurotransmitter noradrenaline , cause the erector muscles connected to our skin to contract, which leads to goosebumps and hardened nipples.
That’s basically all a fancy way of saying nipple erections are one of the body’s hardwired responses to being turned on — and that’s true across the gender spectrum!
If being horny leaves you feeling a little flustered, that makes sense! Both the body’s blood pressure and heart rate go up in response to even the thought of sexual activity, with the pulse rate of an aroused person rising from about 70 beats per minute to 150. That’s, on average, about the same pulse rate as an athlete who’s in the middle of competing! Your body, when horny, is existing in a mild-ish state of heart-racing tension, and it’s totally normal for that to make you feel a little agitated. (A good vibrator can be helpful for relieving that tension, just FYI!)
You’re in the middle of doing homework or running errands when, suddenly, it hits you. “I’m horny — why?!”
Sometimes, horniness comes from left field. It happens to all of us! While it’s definitely easier to pinpoint your “why” when you’re, say, watching a love scene in a movie or texting your crush, other times, there seems to be no logic behind horniness’ sudden takeover. In situations like this, it’s possible that one of the following factors could be what’s making you horny.
Across genders, testosterone is often linked to libido; when your testosterone is high, your levels of horniness are likely to be higher , too. There are several reasons your testosterone could be higher than usual, but in people with vaginas, spikes in testosterone are often tied to ovulating, which happens about 14 days before your period. The extra estrogen released during ovulation has been shown to amp up sexual desire, too, and some people experience hormone-related horniness when they’re on their periods as well .
We’ve probably all heard the hype about aphrodisiacs, or foods and beverages that increase libido. Scientists are still trying to figure out how much of a role aphrodisiacs really play in relation to horniness, and if you think that eating oysters to amp up sexual desire sounds a little Goop-y, we don’t blame you. There’s been research on the effects of some supposed aphrodisiacs, like chocolate, but in general, the findings are inconclusive. Still, if you’re eating chocolate and also feeling horny, aphrodisiacs could be one theory as to why. (Or maybe you’re, y’know, just on your period!)
This one may sound a little silly. But because the clitoris, vagina and urethra are all in close proximity to each other, for people with vaginas, it’s possible that the pressure of a full bladder on your genitals could be what’s making you feel aroused.
If feeling anxious and feeling horny sometimes overlap for you, you’re not alone! While stress is known to decrease libido in some individuals, in others, it can actually put you more in the mood . Sex and masturbation both release feel-good endorphins and oxytocin, which can boost your mood and help you relieve stress; even just thinking about sex can trigger the release of dopamine . So, if you sometimes use masturbation as a stress reliever — or if you’re prone to “procrasturbate” — it may feel natural for your mind to turn in the direction of sexy thoughts when stressed. (Seriously, this happens for a lot of people !)
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Right this way for some A+ arousal hacks.
Unfortunately for all of us, sometimes getting in the mood for sex isn’t as simple as wanting to be in the mood for sex. From date nights where a consensual hookup is 100 percent on the menu to stressed-out moments that could benefit from an orgasmic release , there are plenty of times when our minds want to do the deed but our bodies act like they literally could not care less. Très rude. But all hope is not lost! Learning how to get horny when you’re sorta not feeling it is not only possible, but it’s a v good skill to have for when you know you need an orgasm, but your vagina gives you the silent treatment.
While you always have the option to *not* have sex—whether that’s solo or with a partner—that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes you want to have it, but you simply don’t feel sexually stimulated. “The body can be a very complicated place,” says sex therapist Ashley D. Murphy , explaining that there are a lot of different factors that come into play when getting horny.
“For one, each of our bodies is unique,” Murphy explains. “For two, the three sexual powerhouse hormones—estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone—affect the sexual desire and arousal one experiences when wanting to be intimate with oneself or with partner(s).” When these hormones get out of balance—like when you’re stressed or sleep-deprived—your ability to become aroused can quickly go MIA.
The good news is there are plenty of ways to hack your own horny, even if you don’t initially feel it. To help, we’ve consulted some experts on what you can do to go from 0 to 100 when the usual moves aren't quite cutting it. From sultry breathing techniques to sexy games, here’s how to quickly get in the mood for a session that doesn’t skimp on the sexiness.
Yup, there really are apps out there that can help you harness your horniness. If you’re in more of an “I want to learn how to rediscover my sexuality and embrace my eroticism” quest (versus just like, “I need to get off right TF now”), Emjoy is definitely a good place to start. The app’s goal is to help women reach their sexual peaks by learning all about arousal, self-esteem, and desires through personalized, guided journeys. Oh, and there’s also a section where you can listen to sexy stories which is *chef’s kiss* in a pinch.
Where would we be without vibrating panties ? The classic sex toy is a favorite for a reason, and a really good item to have in your arsenal for those times when arousal doesn’t just happen. Murphy suggests wearing a pair when you’re out to dinner with your boo. Give them the remote and by the time you leave the restaurant, you’ll be aching for more.
Feel like staying in? Try wearing them when you’re WFH, making dinner, or simply chilling in the evening. Whatever your location, Murphy says you’ll be surprised how turned on you get by the unexpected, partner-supplied stimulation.
Not just with your partner, but Murphy says that’s not a bad idea. Instead, try role-playing with yourself by creating an ultra sexual ego. This other “you” doesn’t have to deal with your annoying boss’s emails or the laundry piling up—she’s simply about pleasure. Buy a wig in a different color, wear something totally out of your element, do some wild makeup , and watch yourself in the mirror as you begin to explore ~your character’s~ body. Murphy say
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