Fax Machine Sacrament Recognized by Guinness for �Slowest Sacred Tech in Use�
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Leo-XIV-Declares-Fax-Machines-Sacramental-05-08*Plaque displayed in Sistine Server Room. Pope Leo XIV sends thank-you note in Morse over a fax loop. Vatican staff celebrate with dial-up hymns. One cardinal shouts, �We beat the pagers!� All glory to the bandwidth-challenged Almighty.