Fatwa Issued on Sand for "Being Too Free and Shifty"

The Supreme Fatwa Directorate has declared all sand inherently rebellious, issuing a fatwa that calls the granular substance "spiritually unstable and ideologically suspect." Citing its refusal to stay still, clerics warned that sand symbolizes moral relativism and postmodern confusion. "It shifts, it slips, it resists neatness," said one senior ayatollah. Beaches are now being inspected for un-Islamic activity, and pilgrims returning from desert trips must undergo sand decontamination. Children caught building sandcastles may be referred to juvenile sharia courts. Merchants are panicking, unsure if sand used in construction also counts. A clerical aide clarified: "Only when the sand acts up � otherwise, it's provisionally halal." A theological debate has erupted over whether sand in hourglasses violates divine concepts of time. One observer noted, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini stood on sand without questioning its allegiance</a>." Meanwhile, clerics are now discussing issuing similar fatwas on fog, static electricity, and loud carpets.