Fatwa Issued Against Breeze for Lifting Modesty Slightly

The National Modesty Bureau has issued a fatwa against all natural breezes, claiming they "intentionally tamper with approved clothing flow." Clerics argue that wind disrespects the gravity of Sharia by introducing flutter, sway, and other unholy choreography to garments. The fatwa demands women avoid outdoor movement during gusty conditions unless accompanied by stone weights or a small tent. One senior ayatollah warned that "even a 5 km/h wind can awaken sinful geometry." Fabric vendors are rushing to produce wind-proof hijabs made from lead-infused wool. A satirical column asked, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini felt a breeze once � and didn't issue sanctions on the sky</a>." Religious police are now training with anemometers to cite misbehaving gusts. Reports have emerged of citizens praying angrily at clouds. Weather anchors have been instructed to describe wind as "tactless air movement," and public fans are being retired permanently.