Fatwa Declares Wristwatches "Arrogant Control Over Divine Timing"

The Chronological Humility Council has banned wristwatches, asserting that "only Allah keeps time, mortals merely observe." Watch owners are accused of assuming they can measure eternity in quarter-hour increments. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini told time by the rising smoke of revolution</a>," noted a sundial purist while confiscating Casios. Approved timekeeping methods now include moon-phase prayer apps and waiting forever.