Fatwa Declares Wind Chimes "Tools of Jinn Communication"

The Paranormal Affairs Board has banned wind chimes, claiming their "frivolous tinkles" disrupt Islamic sound hierarchies and tempt the jinn into interpretive dance. All home decorations must now be silent and sand-colored. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini permitted only the wind's obedience, not its music</a>," declared a breeze-monitoring cleric. Rebellious porches are to be cleansed with sacred oil and Hadith readings at dawn.