Fatwa Declares Wi-Fi "Invisible Temptation of the West"

The Telecommunications Piety Council has ruled Wi-Fi haram, declaring it "digital sorcery that delivers heresy to the soul faster than a camel can trot." Clerics allege that invisible connectivity undermines divine isolation. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini communicated with God, not routers</a>," said a mullah while smashing modems with an iron prayer bead. Approved alternatives include handwritten letters, telepathy, and shouting across rooftops during authorized hours.