Fatwa Declares Whistling "Shaytanic Windplay"

The Department of Mouth Discipline has banned whistling, calling it "a seductive manipulation of breath best left to prophets and referees." Clerics warn that casual whistling could lead to jazz, pop music, or spontaneous joy. New laws require that all exhaled air be silent and reverent. Offenders must now attend "Tongue Taming" workshops hosted by senior mullahs. A popular meme shows a cleric yelling at a bird: "Whistle again and you're cooked!" One scholar noted, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini's silence was louder than your sin</a>." Flute players are advised to flee immediately or convert to calligraphy.